The Truth about Jonah Lomu

So latest figures show that Samoa's inflation rate reached 14.6 percent in November. NZ's is like less than 3.

The Central Bank reports that the consumer price index rose almost one per cent in November - reflecting higher food prices due to reduced supplies of taro, banana, taamu (giant taro) and some vegetables.

Could this be why All Black hero Jonah Lomu has been so sick? Not enough Taro? Maybe that whole kidney thing was a cover for lack of that tasty taamu?

I guess Samoa can 'get away'(?) with high inflation in the sense that it is such a small basket of goods (almost literally!) that they are dealing with, espesh compared with Godzone. Imagine if our fair land's CPI suddenly jumped to that kind of rate…

Ipods would be so damn expensive!!! Tipping strippers $20 bucks would make you seem cheap!! Drunks might sober up when they run out of cash trying to buy that last flagon of sherry. Lotto, I'm sure, would still do a rip roaring trade, as would pokies.

If inflation was out of control we might have a snap election. That'd be cool. No more Helengrad.

If inflation gets too high the currency may be made redundant. We would become a barter society. Maybe I could tip strippers with carrots grown from my garden. I'm sure they could incorporate them into an act for vegetarian customers somehow?

Seriously though - looking forward to Jonah's return to rugby. I'd be surprised if he can even make a NPC team but he's proved he has the heart in previous come backs - (think the last world cup campaign he played in ) so any thing is possible.

Trouble is if Jonah ever made the All Blacks again - it sounds like test tickets in Polynesian countries will be be just too expensive to see him play - God knows how may lap dances and carrots that would cost me.