So like I'm stoked how Jamie How has been selected for the Blank Cabbages. Its a slight shame Skippy Sinclair aint in but looks like he's shot his load with Braces. Cool 'Rocket Queen' by GNR just came on. My Ode to Maca clearly paid off I guess. I know Braces reads this blog, make no mistake about that.....
Braces, if are trying to do a Cairns to Astle, it just won't work. Stink, Zed just came on.
Poor old Lego Man, that old renegade fighter with 12 odd one day centuries and he gets dumped ahead of Hamish Marshall. That is just fucking bollocks if u ask me. I know u didnt ask, its just an expression aight? Did a certain coach forget a certain hundred against India recently? Did a certain coach forget the good support he gave the flukey bugger that is Lou Vincent in the second ODI against aussie? Forget the Sth African tour. NZ always does shit there. Always. Though funnily enuff Macca did good....
I bet Macca will go play some local cricket, score a hundred go nuts and get back in the team in no time.....
I was in da queue 2by da ticket and I think Narnia. So I go and climb thru that mothballed closet and wake up in a land of snow. And that's about it. The Queen is crap not scary one bit (but kind of sexy, in a guilt wridden wake up next to her in the morning kind of way), the kids are annoying (but that Lucy is cute), the Aslan looks cool but has Liam Neeson as the voice. Kids will buy into this heroic tripe but adults with half a brian will be like wtf?
I know I just wrote brian instead of brain but well a Brian with half a brain will see this as a no brainer.
Admittedly, it some good battle scenes but one can't help but refer to Saving Private Ryan and LOTR as the standards these days. Fuck any time a 10 year old can suddenly weild a sword better than Zorro, u just got larf. In short Narnia sold me short.
So the penguins. Why is everyone against the penguins? There are clearly some penguin haters out there. I'd link to the penguin haters but I don't want to spread the hate. As my friend Paul Hewson told me, 'don't be come a penguin hater in order to defeat a penguin'
So like me and my brother from another mother, Mr Q tuned up Messers Takamine and Mr Yamaha for a Swampsong jam last night.
Out came the Oasis classics – chirpy singalongs to Champagne Supernova, Morning Glory, Talk Tonight, with extended riffing on Supersonic and Live Forever. We were channelling Our Kid and Noel like we were playing to 100,000 fans at Knebworth. It was Mega. All that was missing was Kanye West.
And then Mr Q's flatmate left 'for a walk' muttering something about tuneless Beatle rip off artists.... so I went home and drank whiskey with DWJR till 2.36 am.
So like Desperate Housewives are hot right? And what about the tv show? Oh the drama! Oh the suspense! He didn't know about the baby? Oh the humanity! Bree's hair gets out of place? The Horror! Quelle Horreur!
So like the Insider's Guide to Happiness. Money can't buy me love so why the hell do they think bread can? What do ladybirds taste like? What would Batman's liver taste like? Would it go with a nice Chianti and some fava beans?
Summary: Set in 2345, Ann Darrow crashlands on Mars to find green aliens are living in harmony with peace loving mung beans. They fix her ship and give her some cake. The End.
Erm, not exactly like that but the point is that it is sent in this most unbelievable world where Weta are scary and dinosaurs are second in command to one phat gorrilla.
This movie is freakin scary, funny and exhilirating all at once. Jaybee broke three bones in my hand from crunchng it tight at various times. The highlight for me was the t rex (pl.) vs Kong. A never ending rumble in the jungle. Bonecrusher would be a suitable nickname for the hairy back. The cooks death by giant worm was pretty cool too - trademark jackson gore.
This movie makes Jurrasic Park look like a stale cake walk in which you win some mouldly bannacake. Interestingly, I didn't spy one bannana in the whole movie but I spied with my 20/20 eye some subtle references in there such as the box in the cargo hold saying 'Sumatran Rat Monkey' which I think refs Braindead.
The climatic assault on the atop the empire statebuilding was pretty thrilling. When Kong jumped and smashed a pesky plane I cheered. When they shot him in the back I jeered. All this while, the women folk checked that their tear ducts were still working.....beautiful.
Keeps getting out to the Aussies across the ditch.
Maybe he has jock itch.
When he's in, its a six on the roof
But a champion player?
There's no the recent proof.
A sledger from 'narm
And a striker with charm
but he'll wack warne a six
then next ball buy the farm
Bring in Sinclair
Cos Macca's career has gone the shape of a pear
He's had his chance
but he muffed the last dance.
At least he was better than Robert Vance.
So I was at Whenerai's massive game. I'd blog a witty blog with insightful comment but (he he jimmy said but - Ed) I'm pressed for time as I gotta go drink beer. So to summarise the collective viewpoint of 15,000 Black Caps fans:
"Brett Lee's a wanker"
One uses a bat to score runs by hitting the red ball. The more runs you have the the better your chance at winning. Runs are very common in India and Pakistan but hard to come by at Eden Park esp if you are Hamish Marshall.
To score runs with your bat it must be your turn at bat and you must be out. When you are out batting you are in. If you get out, you are back in. If you are crap at batting you are often left right out. Sometimes it can be a while out before you find yourself in and then suddenly find yourself out so back in. Claerly then, you generally score runs if ur in or out or eat the wrong curry.
In cricket you bowl the ball at the batman in an effort to get him out because he's in. If you get him out you send him back in. Then another played comes out to be in wherein he's out.
The red ball you bowl at the batsman is often rubbed shiny on one side. In cricket, as in other recreational sports, it is good to have your red balls rubbed in this way. It's often a shared experience amongst affectionate teamates.
You can catch anything in cricket. Sharp ones, screamers, fliers, hooks, bat pads, lobs and even apples from the crowd if you're lucky. Some players have tits for hands and are no good at catching any thing. Those with butter fingers are similarly useless but make a mean batch of scones.
Don't believe in excess
Success is to give
Don't believe in riches
But you should see where I live
I...I believe in love
So I b'arched about the windy city's bus drivers earlier this week and how they are 'poorly performed'. Well yesterday I was impressed to see one of 'em help carry the bags of a fairly old and slow moving man as he got off the bus i.e made sure he was safely off. A nice gesture given with a smile. So it proves they aint all useless. Unless of course they have been given a rark up which I suspect they probably have....
So bus drivers and their image went up a lil notch with Jimmy Jangles last night until he read in today 's Dom Post that a driver pulled the loser cruiser over so he could go for a Scottish national emblem behind a large rubbish bin or something. The call of nature is that you gotta go when you gotta go but when ur the bus driver of a bus with people tryin gto get to work that's just a lil unprofessional. Not to mention leaving the bus unattended?
So you know its summer when I blog about cricket (so its summer all year round? – Ed) and Dec 1 is officially summer apparently, ergo I must blog about cricket….
Brett Lee is leading the Australian bowling attack for Saturday's game against the Black Caps. Should we be insulted that, bar Lethal Lee, Aussie has sent us a pop gun attack that even NZ would be ashamed to field? Brett Lee is a Kiwi ass kicker. No doubt about that, ask Micheal Paps. I understand he breaks outs in salty sweats when the topic of a Brett Lee SAM hurtling in at 160 odd km an hour is raised in polite conversation.
The rest of the aussie popgun attack consists of Stuart Clark, Michael Lewis and Cameron White, all whom I have never heard of and therefore are probably as good as Murhpy Sua. Wait, I can't back that up. Aussie has more depth than the Pacific Ocean, so their no-namers could actually be half way decent.
There's also Brad Hodge who's a bit of a journey man really and Side Show Bob look-a-like contest winner, Andrew Symonds. Granted he's a bit of a match turner.
Ne ways to paraphrase Richie Benaud, the aussie batting line up is just marrraaavelous (did the big eared guy on tv3 steal that line from King Dick? Who has copyright here?) and so regardless of the limp state of the bowling line up the ockers should be able to massacre us regardless. Gilchrist has had a lean few months and is sure to break out in sixes (but not sevens) at the chance to belittle Jamie Franklin and co. Except for…
Bond, Shane Bond. Bond loves bowling at aussies – remember the world cup aye? 6 fer something was it? Ponting is his bitch. If all turns to custard I hope at least Bond has Ponting Bunny Stew for a late supper on Saturday. And Wednesday and Saturday again.
Watch our for Son of Excalibur to go for a fucking million an over.