You know when you're from Porirua when...

1. You can wake up thinking it's an earthquake but realise it's just
Hemi, Junior and Rua sharing your single bed.

2. You can't say "Wellington is full of ferries" cause you've never
been further than Porirua Train Station.

3. You can recognise half of Porirua city's population because they're
your relations.

4. You can't afford a $1000 suit so you steal some shoes instead.

5. You've never seen the motorway because Porirua has everything
you've ever needed.

6. You walk from Titahi Bay to Porirua Station, hang out for a bit,
then go to North City? Fah! Haven't been there since yesterday.

7. "Just turn left at the first KFC? No, wait, just stop in at KFC for a feed."

8. Seeing the Brooklyn Wind Turbine is not an option.

9. It takes you 20 minutes to drive from the mall to your house. KFC
was calling your name.

10. Boarding a Stagecoach bus is betrayal to your uncle who works for
Mana Coach services.

11. You never need a bodyguard because everyone you know could 'smash
dem' anyway.

12. The centre line is only worth crossing if Maccas or KFC is on the
other side.

13. You're only sick if you got too drunk last night.

14. Christmas shopping is not necessary, it's easier to steal from The
Warehouse.

15. Wind is not a top priority for things getting ruined/stolen at your house.

16. You can detect 27 different shades of skin colour at the mall.

17. When an earthquake hits? Aw, nah, was just Hemi and them again.

18. You don't get tourists.

19. Anyone got 5 bucks for a pie, au?