You know you live in Wellington when...

1. You can wake up during an earthquake and think that it's just the
wind that's shaking your house.

2. You can say "Wellington is full of ferries" and not be considered
homophobic.

3. You can recognise half the city's population when walking down the street.

4. You can afford a $1000 suit but still flat in a house that requires
3 sets of clothing and two dehumidifiers to stay warm.

5. You see someone travelling 100kph on the motorway and you complain
how fast people travel these days.

6. You walk from the Railway Station to Willis Street without ever
checking for traffic.

7. "Just turn left at the first StarMart, walk down the street till
you get to the third StarMart, turn right, go 3 StarMarts up and
you're there."

8. Seeing the Brooklyn Wind Turbine not turning is a newsworthy event.

9. It takes you 20 minutes to drive around the block in peak traffic
due to the 'one way system'.

10. Boarding a Stagecoach bus is a hazardous activity.

11. You take a bodyguard down Courtenay Place in case you bump into a
drunk politician.

12. The centre line is negotiable, especially on the Brooklyn &
Hataitai hills where parked cars can take up 80% of the road.

13. You get altitude sickness going from your car to your front door.

14. You have to leave the city to do your shopping.

15. Any wind that doesn't threaten to take your roof off is just a
'bit of a breeze.'

16. You can detect 27 different shades of black suit.

17. When an earthquake hits, instead of hiding under your desk, you
hold a bet with your workmates on the force, focus and epicentre.

18. When giving directions to tourists, you point up.

19. You go out for your $5 coffee with friends and complain how
expensive Auckland is.