Gods are selfish beings who fly around in little red capes and don't share their power with mankind.

So Superman Returns eh? Its both good bad and ugly.

It's good in that it has Superman doing his superman thing, rescuing damsels, prevent disasters and juggling er… giant steel balls. It has some  F.A.B. movie references to the back catalogue of comics/films/baseballs/whatever/mythology. 

It looks good and all too. Supes flys like he ought a – effortlessly. I loved these bits of the movie.

But I'm going to focus on the BAD because fan boys love to bitch a about great movies…. Supposedly.


The ending of Superman II has Supes make Lois Lane FORGET she knows he is Clark and I thought, that she loved him and Superman too and forget all their adventures including doing the wild thing in the Fortress of Solitude. … so I don't understand why Lois is still in love with Superman when he returns from his 5 years in space doing his own NASA space exploration programme…. I could be wrong on this point though….

Lois Lane was shite. She was a poor casting.. She cant hardly act. I was crushed. There I said it. What a freaking waste of my time. I didn't buy the love and I didn't believe the tenacity she supposedly has as a reporter. The whole time I was going are you KIDDING me? Where's Margot?  And she supposedly can survive being bashed about in a plane crash and not have one freaking bruise to her face. The beating she took would have made Christopher Reeves thankful he only ended up in a wheel chair, it was that bad. Yet she can walk.

Kevin Spacey – not one time did I believe he was evil. Waste of my time therefore. His EVIL plan was LAME. Lex Luthor is Stuck on Stupid.  The whole evilness plot was shite. Woo woo! Lets use Kryptonite to kill superman. Again. Give me a break. It made the movie pointless and so I was reduced to following the references and nods to what had been before and the following the supposed love story which I hardly bought. How could you love someone that ugly? At least the kid was cute.

We all know Superman can reverse time. Why the hell doesn't he do this and just kill Lex when he is a baby? MEH! As to the Superman man portrayal by Boredom Routh I can some it up like this "Yeah Honey, I had sex with her but it didn't mean a thing. I was thinking of you the whole time!"

Jimmy Olsen. Fuck what a drip. Nuf said.

That dead guy from Xmen. What a drip. Nuff said. He and Jimmy should start a family.

In short, the best acting was from Marlon Brando and he's dead. At least in the real world Mystique nude is smokin hot.

Okay I've b'arched more that I meant too. Suffice to say as a big fan I'm disappointed but at the same time pretty happy to have seen the red cape fly once more.

If you're into some really interesting movie references, check out what inspired Star Wars.

What would Paris Hilton Do?

So like if you're ever hosting people at your house and would like to liven things up, ask a female vegetarian whether, if there was a gun pointed at their pet rabbit's head and in order to save its precious cute itty bitty hide would you cook a budgie or a little dog in the microwave ala Gremlins style?

Trust me, its a killer!

A journalist interviews Sir Paul McCartney:
"So, Sir Paul, do you think that you will ever
go down on one knee again?"
Sir Paul: "I'd prefer it if you called her Heather".

Zakk Wlyde is the guitar god.
There endeth the lesson.

You can't keep a good Master Chief down for long?

Bonsoir. I am in bed spitting great grey green greasy spit balls into tissues. Yep, its time for JJ to go all nancy boy and spend the day in bed, too weak to do anything. Just pathetic really.

The Holly Would Child

The Holly Would child
Is a baby gone wild
She cuts her cake an eats it too
Looking for Heaven she knocked on the wrong door
Repented to late
Her highway to hell had already been dialled

Enough of photogenic power
Bring on the industrial strength sleaze
Videos of her in the shower
Down on her knees
Begging, crying, dying to appease.

No slouch on the casting couch
Her mother was appalled
At the guys she balled
Daddy was aghast as she posed thick and fast

Her body borne sins
Grant her lottery wins
The Cash Cow looks no gift horse in the mouth
She's cashing up before her assets drift south.

Why I hate bus drivers pt Will I ever stop?

So like Lambton Quay ce soir. A girl is getting on the bus before me. She is about 12 and looks it. She tells the driver two sections. He prints a ticket and she gives him the money. She takes her ticket and walks off. The driver counts the money "HEYYYYYY did you want a child fare? YOU HAVE TO TELL ME I'M NOT A MINDREADER YOU KNOW!"

"Umm yes" is the meek reply


I'm thinking what a prick, she's just a kid and looks it. Its obvious she should have been given the ticket at the child fare rate.

From behind me a rather confident voice goes "and a smile while you're at it would be nice", making it clear the driver was indeed a prick.

"It's not my job to smile" the prick replies, not looking up. The girl moves on.

So its my turn for the ticket purchase. Feeling like a smarmy bastard I put ten 20 cent pieces in the tray for coinage. That's enough for a two section fare.

"well how many sections then? he says

Feeling confident after the jibe from the guy behind me, I say as snarky as possible "Why don't you count it and figure it out?"

The best bus driver since Sandra Bullock sighs heavily, bangs the machine and pops out a ticket without counting the shrapnel. I grab the ticket and sit down. The guy behind me walks past, gives me a wink and moves on by.

JJ's site of the week:


From our man in The Land of the Dingo Baby Stealers

Aussie Butt Busters. Sounds like a cracker of a porn movie!
On a matter 'Honey don't think' by Grant Lee Buffalo is a great song. Word. Drow.