Porgy and Bess on a Plane Review

So this weekend I went and saw Porgy and Bess and Snakes On a Plane. I was a little bit tired so you'll excuse me if I get a little messed up with the reviews.
There was this bad ass bible quoting black guy lets call him, Mr Samuel L. Jackson, who was afraid of snakes. Or was it flying? Ne way he wants to go surfing in Bali and to hide from the mob so he takes his girlfriend Bess along for the ride. She is a fat slut and likes to take drugs and drinks more than Nicholas Cage did in Leaving Las Vegas. Ne way Porgy is jealous and puts some motherfucking snakes on the mother fucking planes. He's 'had it', you see. These snakes take some of  Bess' magic candy dust drugs and get all 'high and mighty' like a sunday choir choir and eat some people because they taste like Chicken.
Samuel sings a song about 'Snakes in the Summertime'. In the end he is left with 'plenty of nutting' but snake bites on his ass. Bess eats a giant anaconda and horse because she is so fat. Porgy is a cripple so keeps one of snakes to be a pet sleigh ride. He got bit in the eye and is now a blind cripple. The plane landed in the Promised Land of Casinos whereapon Porgy claimed "bess you is my snake charmer now".
And they ate some catfish and washed it down with a tasty beverage.


I think that's how it went.


His Whoreness said...

sounds... festive

CT said...

sounds shitty...