Would you like fries with that?


So I’m sitting Mac Donald’s wondering if perhaps I should be fearful for the safety of my Big Mac and tasty beverage.

The McWorker mopping the floors appears to be a bit different from me. He keeps talking to himself.

“John is a naughty boy. Fuck you John!”

I hope he doesn’t think I’m John. He might though, it is my name.

“I don’t have time for this I’ve got to get to work”

Oh dear - if he isn’t at work what’s he doing mopping floors at Mickey Dees? Has he snuck in for a bit of moonlighting? Does he want a free pasta salad or something? I wonder if he has been bitten by Cujo and if I got the right shots as a child.

Outside is a short guy in a Black Power costume. He’s talking to a young wannabe growing his first piece of bum fluff, His jeans at about his knees. I’m amused to see the kid is wearing two pairs of boxers. I can’t help but wonder why he isn’t at school? Maybe it’s a study break for his Cambridge Exams.

An old Greek looking lady just wandered in. She is what I imagine Mother Theresea would look like in mufti. She has a cell fone. She gives it to another McWorker who is pleased with the delivery. They speak seemingly in tongues but I don’t understand anything except that my chips aren’t hot. I chomp on the Mac. It’s no Royale with Cheese, dam metric system.

McWorker is back.

“Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight, young man?”

That’s it, I’m outta here, the Big Mac’s yours.

2 comments:

His Whoreness said...

Have you noticed a difference in the big mac now that they make everything fresh instead of letting it sit in that warmer for god-knows-how-long?

I'd be interested in your thoughts on the matter

JJ said...

My thoughts on the matter are this: If there was a BK in Newtown I would have gone there.

Now get back to your bloody submissions.