Get a haircut and a real job!


Squash: Played a game with E last night. I thought I was gonna die but didn’t. What was funny was in the third set E realised that no one had stuffed up a serve. We thought that was pretty sweet. Late in the fourth set I mucked one and we cracked up. So Ian then fucked the very next. The 5th set was all killer, no filler.

Club 40:
after the game we were driving down Vivian and we spied what appears to be a new gentlemen’s retreat called Club 40 and this conversation occurred:

JJ “Where’s the other 29?” I cried.

E You mean 39

J 29

E 39

J 29

E 39

J Dude 40 plus 29 = 69

E Oh, I thought you meant where were the other 39 clubs.

Its funny how minds think differently innit?


Plays bass cos 6 strings are 2 two many....


The Rise (and Fall) of Optimus Prime

A guest post of robotic proportions by His Whoreness

Call me old school but the original Optimus Prime stands out as the best there ever was.

Maybe it was the clunky character design (where the fuck did that trailer keep appearing from?). Maybe it was the transition between Autobot and Decepticon scene (da-na-na-nah nah! - I can't believe I remember that! *sobs*). Maybe it was the sonorous voice from the tinny speaker on the small shitty TVs we had back then. Maybe it was that he had the biggest gun and it sounded so much cooler than everyone else's.

Whatever it was, Optimus Prime commanded the respect of every kid in the room and you weren't worth knowing if you weren't sitting there cross-legged with your Optimus Prime action figure (because they are action figures, NOT toys). I myself had to suffer the indignity of sitting there with Megatron. I don't care how many scope, barrel and stock attachments he came with, a plastic luger pistol just doesn't compare to a blue and red big rig with trailer unit. I really don't know what my parents were thinking at the time.

Most people might be wondering what parents were doing giving their children toy guns, but you have to remember I grew up in an age of innocence. An age where artificial colourings and preservatives made everything taaaaaaaaste soooooooo gooooooooood. An age where kids could buy double happies with their dollar mixture from the dairy. An age where cycle helmets were for the Kimiora crowd (for those who didn't grow up in Wellington, Kimiora is a school for those children today's sensibilities might describe as challenged or perhaps as differently-abled individuals). Good times. Good times.

But I digress.

Optimus Prime was a staple part of Saturday mornings. But then he was relegated to weekday afternoons. And then we entered the dark times.

First he's killed off. Then he's replaced by Hot Rod (two words people... no comparison). Then he comes back from the dead. Then it turns out he's gone mad. Then his friends kill him off. Then he goes CGI as a gorillabot. Then the gorillabot flies around on a hoverboard (What. The. Fuck.). Then the Japanese come out with blue and red Optimus on steroids carrying a gun that doesn't do diddly-squat and has a really lame firing sound. Now they're making a live action Transformers movie where Optimus has flames on his thighs (the film also has that annoying guy who hung around Keanu in Constantine before being killed off, but then that isn't entirely important right now).





Oh how the mighty have fallen. I'll probably still end up seeing the movie when it comes out. It just sucks that future generations of kids won't know the Optimus Prime we knew as kids. The cool Optimus Prime. the true Optimus Prime.


JJ says if any one ever had to fight for his life, it would be OP. After all JJ did name his cat in honour of the 'bot ...

And also for the record, Kimi Ora is a school that does a wonderful job with its students.

What she said


If you notice this notice, you'll notice this notice is not worth noticing at all.

Infrared: There be rock

Infrared: a band of the electromagnetic spectrum between the visible and the microwave,


Infrared: A three piece Wellington band that understands what let there be rock actually means.

So we turn up to Subnine to hear Steve, Carl and Ben bash out some monster rock. No Emos in sight. Plenty of black tshirts and nail polish though.

Infrared are rockers from Nam. The drummer looks like Jono from the C4/The Rock, except he actually knows a thing about music as he proves when he knocked out the shit out of the skins.

Kicking off with some nameless saintless rocker the gig was powered with full on stonkin rock. No soppy Snow Patrol bullshit here. Just punked up buzzcocked bass and a wall of sound that made my beer bottle vibrate as if it was about to commit hurri cari..

Full on pace, amps up to at least 11 made for a wicked set.