Owen Glenn me paid $1m for this blog

Now that the cat's out of the bag I want everyone to know that expatriate billionaire Owen Glenn paid me one million dollars to start this blog. It was not a donation, just cold hard cash. Which I spent on Pokies, Steinlager and funding the Brethen Church's Out Reach programme.

I called Owen this morning after all the media coverage and he confirmed that it was also him who paid for Shane Bond to defect to the Indian 20 / 20 league, paid for the Spice Girls to reform (Sporty was his favourite) and arranged for the Loch Ness Monster to retire to Bemuda.

Incidentally, I met Glenn at a bar in Monaco when I filmed the new James Bond movie. He was having a hard time picking up the ladies. I gave him a few pointers like how to stand and be cool, some tricks with a lighter, how to drink your whiskey proper and he was away.

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