Halo 3 is better than Sex

Why Halo 3 is better than Sex: Or an essay on why killing aliens and saving the planet Earth is better than doing things with limbs pressed in odd places.

I guess the first one is obvious, even to people like Tom Cruise, who despite their love of Zenu know in their hearts that Halo 3 is better than sex because you can never fire blanks in Halo 3. Every shot a head shot.

Speaking of shots, after landing one in Halo 3 you don't have to clean up the mess.

You can fire your gun as many times as you like in Halo 3. You can reload in a second and get that double and triple kill and God forbid an overkill of four. Good luck getting a triple thrill in the sack on a cold night.

You can always wear your big green Master Chief space suit while playing Halo 3. Good luck wearing a green and gold spartan helmet with your nearest and dearest when playing 'hide the sausage'.

Halo 3 doesn't get upset if you play with more than one Xbox 360. With sex, you are generally lucky to have a box to slip your di$k in. Some times you have to pay $360 for the priviledge of slipping it in.

It's really easy to get three or four players to form a group for a long drawn out session of Halo. Not so easy arranging a group sex session.

If your gun in Halo 3 fires bolts of green fire, people will admire you. If your gun, while having sex fires green, see a doctor, like now. Seriously, now. You booked the appointment right?

With Halo 3 you can take pictures and movies of your sweet moves from any angle, put them on the internet and share them with your friends. With your sexcapades, unless you are Paris Hilton, you don't want a video of your ass crack winking at the world on porntube do ya?

Update:

Given it a refresh, added some more jokes. Reposted to get Dug. Do ya Digg?

This is the guest post I did for The Whore. Seeing as its old news, like U2 and Sunday, Bloody Sunday, I'm stealing it back. typos amended care of his Whoreness and big ups to Halo.bungie.org for linking to me, like a gabillion hits overnight.