How to write and perform an Old School Metallica Song

How to Write and perform an Old School Metallica Song.

Some background requirements before begining. Lead singer should have a problem with alcohol, the drummer should have got drool on his IQ test but have an ego bigger than his fat round face.

The bass player should be a pushover and the lead guitarist should be a quiet fellow who lets his chops do the talking. Long hair is compulsory for all band members.


Begin with a slow, melodic solo.
Add a monster riff that slowly builds over the solo. (If more experienced, reverse these two)
Enter drum beat with a percussion mallet.

Hit those toms faster and faster


Continue monster riff with extra rhythm.
Depending on quality of bass player, bass is optional.
Begin singing about the injustice of war, how black your heart is and death in general . Do not include lyrics about love for your mama until you go mainstream.


Metallica don't need no stinking chorus, merely another line about death.


Break for a different arrangement of the monster riff. Include a hint of the 10 minute solo to come.


Remind your fans that this is a song about the black death and your stuck at home in sanitarium. Keep that riff going.

Kirk Hammet Type Solo:

Cut from verse and slow it down so people know something cool is going to happen. Replay initial solo but with variation on melody. Get faster. Nope not fast enough. Play it faster. So people know you are serious musicians, change key and add in different guitar effect. Walk up and down the fret board until it bleeds.

Rinse of the blood, repeat

Play drums faster. Play Monster Riff faster. Play 5th solo way fareeeking fast.

Quick Verse:

The song is still about death and the dance of the dead so remind listeners of this fact. Kill 'em all!

Outro: Play fast for 5 seconds.

And you're done, a perfectly crafted old school Metallica song.

Now go play some Metallica!

Extra for Experts:

If you need some lyrical inspiration, find some Metallica lyrics here and here are the lyrics to Death Magnetic, the new Metallica album. And for something completely new, check out the lyrics to Mistress Dread by Metallica.


Anonymous said...

We haven't see any Optimus Prime here for a while - so - check out this metal(lica)version:
If you are going to make anything out of scrap metal - it might as well be Mr. Prime!

With scrappy regards,


Anonymous said...

Optimus Prime is at home with a Fender following this handy Metallica guide. i beleive teh song his is writing is an ode to energon