Weekend that Was Pt Victor Victor Charlie.

Earnt man points replacing the car battery. Who knew those buggers cost so much?

Went into work bothdays (Working for the man or making a career? Ed)
Listened to RHCP
Drank 4 Steinlagers and one Gin. Okay 2 Gins.
Wrote a letter to NZ Cricket demand that Mr V. Shewag be selected for the England tour
Was sent a txt that said "This is Starscream. All decepticons mobilise". I showed it to Optimus Prime and he looked at me, just shrugged his shoulders and turned back to Halo 3 matchmaking.

Lost man points by watching American Idol and Mean Girls.

Three Great Rock Comebacks

So like what are the best rock comebacks ever?

And before you say Green Day and American Idiot or U2 and Actung Baby, I think we need some criteria ...

The comebackee's first public success must have been pretty major - the music must have ingrained itself into the some kind of national or international consciousness for a fair period. Not merely have been a one hit wonder, they should have a body of work or range of songs that are still popular on the radio or being raided from some mum's old record collection..

Then they must have goneaway and been forgotten by way of not being able to write a d side, releasing shite music or gone on a drugs binge that would have made a line of coke blush.

The comeback - the success must have been the same all over again or bigger. The public (and probably a new generation of young fans) takes note of the new music with a fervour. Charts are topped and grammies won. It can not be a happy reunion tour like Kiss or Led Zeppelin. 

Thus having written this criteria according to my pre determined choices ;) here are my three best rock comebacks ever.

Meat Loaf - Marvin Lee Aday



At the time of Bat out of Hell's onslaught it was the biggest debut of all time. Meatloaf's album was an instant rock classic. It had the hard rock of its time in the title track, it had sex mixed it into songs about baseball. It had the ballads. It brought the balls to rock.

And then he stopped being friends with Jim Steinman, hung out with Cher and made dire films like Roadie. He may have had some trouble with alcohol..

20 years pass with a couple of minor hits and a bankruptcy but the Meat had eaten his cake and couldn't have it twice...

...Until he became friends with Jim Steinman again and they re wrote the first album and Meatloaf stormed the charts to number one in twenty odd countries with the biggest hit of his career, I'd Do Anything for Love (BIWDT) from Bat out of Hell II, hell he even got a pre world famous everywhere Angelina Jolie to appear in the video for Rock and Roll Dreams. People that kant listen good listened to the song and asked what he would not do (screw around !). Probably had the best coda to a song ever. This sucess also means that Jim Steinman qualifies for one of the greatest comebacks ever too.

John Frusciante (Guitarist for Red Hot Chili Peppers)



Joined the RHCP when they were well into their career and made Mother's Milk with them. Soul to Squeeze showed he had the deft tones. Then he pulled out Under the Bridge and his place in rock history was assured.

And then he discovered herion, was booted from the band, lost his teeth and infamously gave a royalty cheque to a cabbie.

And then Kiedis and co realised Dave Navaro was acutally a fucking pussy and asked Flea asked a newly sober JF back to the band. Fruciante gave them the licks from Scar Tissue and the album, Californication went on to be the Red Hot Chili Peppers' biggest album and the comeback was complete.

Johnny Cash



Bono thinks that Elvis would have been as sissy without Johnny Cash. If you believe the stories about the drugs and the purdy ladies then it was ok for The King to hook up with a 14 year old (hey, if there's grass on the wicket).

Mr Cash was huge in the late 50s and 60s with his boy called Sue, songs about flags and guns, discussions about how high the water was and how his ring burnt somewhat.

And then he didn't sell so much, appeared to find Jesus, write the odd biography, and had a TV show.

Had a minor comeback in the 80s with the Highway Men... but then he met Rick Rubin in the mid 90s and his career went interstellar. His serious of American Recordings took songs of others and gave them a new heart and soul. When he sang Tom Petty's Wont Back down you believed it. When he said he was Hurt, you wanted to take him to the doctor. He became the Man in Black.

There you have it, three great come backs of rock. Four if you count Jim Steinman but he does get points off for that Air Supply song.

Who else do you think is worthy of a rock comeback?

Jimmy Jangles Review of the Rock 2 Wellington Festival Friday and Saturday

Jimmy Jangles Review of the Rock 2 Wellington Festival Friday and Saturday

The winners of the find a guitarist competition sponsored by Music Works came on about 6.30 pm. They could all riff out their chops faster than a bat out of hell. Only 2 of them really had any soul, the rest just playing as fast as they could. Still it was entertaining, the guy the smashed his guitar however was clearly a douche bag. Best player: The Bald Guy And the sun set and the darkness crept in and upon us stormed..

Lordi

All the way from Finland for this gig and they were not jet lagged, playing a high energy set consisting of their famous Hard Rock Hallelujah, Blood Red Sand Man, the Devil is a Loser etc. The front Monsterman, a Mr Lordi, has a battle axe for a microphone. Into one end he sings, and from the other comes fire sparks. Kind of like Rammstein for the Dark Ages. Not many people knew the songs, but I sure did having borrowed them from the interweb and checking out youtube. For sheer pageantry this was a great gig - the fun monster / devil/ it snows in hell type songs, though while very derivative, were bloody fun.

Best Song: The Devil is a Loser

Alice Cooper

This guy was fareeking awesome. Best energy, great songs, great costumes, stabbed babies, hangings. If you wanted to get Trashed this weekend, this was the concert to be at. Alice Cooper's band is fierce! They played hard and had some great melodies coming out of the Marshall stacks. Alice delivered a great story, the songs all flowed together really well. Highlights for me were Halo of Flies and Only Woman Bleed (which we know is not true - men cut themselves shaving all the time). And for the physchos out there, an alice cooper concert is probably the only place that one can get way with stabbing a baby...

Best Song: Halo of Flies

Kiss

Overrated as a band, over rated as spectacle. Let's face it Kiss have 3 really really popular mainstream songs - playing only I was made for loving you and Rock and Roll all night at the end (missing out God gave you rock and roll). Like its a fun show but it got boring towards the end because of all the sameness of the songs. Millions would disagree but Kiss have become the classic rock band that should bow out gracefully. Alice Cooper should have headlined. No doubt about it.

Best Song: The last one.. shesh

Poison

Look what the cat dragged in indeed. I was expecting Brett Micheals to be a douche but he actually came out like he was just one of the boys wo likes a few beers. His mum must have raised him well as he thanked NZ for its hospitality after every song. He seemed genuine (unlike Kiss) in his exhortations to the crowd. CC plays well but he looks like he is giving a blowjob with his wide open mouth during every solo. As expected, Every Rose was one of the highlights of the entire festival with probably the best crowd sing along of the weekend. A real fun set, Poison knew there place and kicked off the night really well. Best Song: Every Rose has its thorn (what a surprise)

Whitesnake

Awesome guitarists, Coverdale has a strong voice but only one truly great song and while it was fun at the time on reflection this was probably the weakest set of songs - played exceptionally well by the band though.

Best Song - Here I go again (what a surprise 2)

Ozzy Osborne

The reason for the season. The Prince of Darkness is now an old, deaf man. I knew to expect ozzy as one dimensional as he is and he is sooo boring on stage. The only good thing is his passable singing (effects assistance like Kiss had?) and his fucking awesome band. Road to Nowhere, Bar at the Moon, War pigs, Crazy Train and Momma I'm coming home were the highlights from Ozzie for me. The true highlight for me of the whole event was Zakk Wyld. He is pretty much why I shelled out 300 bucks for this gig. Zakk makes Ozzy, there would be no Ozzy without him. Zakk plays fast but unlike so many other players you can feel his music. His solo solo, which surprise, surprise Simon Sweetman hated was one of the happiest moments of my concert going career. He roughed up the feedback really loud and then just made the guitar wail. It was monstrous and loud. It was bogan heaven.

Mr Oz is the supposed the Prince of Darkness, so the contrast of Zakk being seemingly a true god botherer, looking to the heavens, praising the baby jesus for every riff he just nailed is amusing. Hell, Ozzie even said god bless as he left the stage. Overall this was a great gig, though he's an idiot on stage, he's extremely fun and plays up his image to the crowd just to the sterotype expected (even if he is that type) "lets go fucking mental" and "I can't hear you!" - the songs rocked out with a good mix of old and new so you cannot complain to Perry Mason for help.

Best Songs pour moi: War Pigs outro, Road to No Where, Zakk Wylde solo.

Nathan Astle will be proud....

Nathan Astle will be proud....

Batsmen

         Runs B 4s 6s SR      Ave

TG Southee (rhb) 77  40 4  9 192.50  82.00

 

Cric info notes "Southee finishes unbeaten on 77 off 40 balls with nine sixes - only four men have hit more in a Test innings."

 

Puts Sinclair et al to shame eh?

Shed a tear cause I'm missing you

Was it me or did Dobo on TV3 have a wee tear in his eye after the Stephen Fleming farewell piece tonight?

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

So lets get this right.

No Fleming
No Styris
No Bond
No Astle
No Cairns
No Tuffey
No MacMillan

hmmm whats wrong with that?

Like Bart Simpon, an under achiever

Well that's Skippy's career done with then.

 

 

Stephen . . . Shephen . . . . Stephen . .

New Zealand's oldest virgin loses it. Hugh Hefner Sends Congratulatory Telegram

So the Flight of the Conchords have a lot to answer for. Their song 'Business Time' has like a drunken Jimmy Jangles, snuck up on you and poured your Bombay Sapphire gin down your shirt and declared "he's tired, he is going to bed because he has work in the morning".

So now when two tuatara's have some fast times in Taihoe doing the Tango Horizontally there's national cause to celebrate the event. Especially when the lead protagonist is 111 years old and didn't need Viagra. Bless him, that made Hugh Hefner proud.

What the hell am I blathering on about? The Caption on the Stiff website which has the the foto of two leaping lizards has the caption

"BUSINESS TIME: Invercargill's tuataras Henry and Mildred have gone public with their reptilian passion. It is the first time Henry has mated since 1972, and possibly the first time in his 111 years."

Henry was additionally quoted as saying he was glad he did not have to wear the Ejaculation Helmet.

Clearly 'business time' is now the official NZ word for having a fuck. Thanks Germaine and Brett. Murray?

Present.

This twilight zonish word change leads to a very serious question however - what do the unemployed now call fucking? They don't what time it is, let alone how to engage in business!

And remember kids, if masturbation's lost its fun, your business time is lazy.

Tonight, tonight the Egos land

Word on the street is that for the Smashing Pumpkins' concert at Queens Wharf (Wellington) tonight the security guards are under strict instructions not to make eye contact with anyone in the band. They are not even supposed to look at them if possible.

I'm sure the guards will have difficulty folllowing their orders because Billy Corgan's massive bald head is sure to knock them over as he passes by.

Billy my boy, we all float down here but can you fake it, for just one more show?

Which reminds me to paraphrase a drummer joke. What did Billy Corgan get on his IQ test?

Drool.

Its fun to party at the Y.........

Optimus Prime was at a party last night and he had a few too many Energy Drinks and was encouraged to bring out the boogie....

Roger Twose knows how to Movember

Maybe its the number 8 wire thing...

We've all know that batting at number 8 Lil Lucas Vettorri has been pretty decent with the bat lately... is it some thing to be pleased about or sadened? Probably the later given today's test loss... Cricinfo lays it out for us.

Crapbucket, roll out !

So Monkey Fluids turns it up to 11 with his Crapbucket. As we know, crap bucket was cut from Optimus Primes' recent documentary. You know, it was bigger than March of the Penguins, the one when his good friend Jazz was murdered on the mean streets of Generic American City.

Wellington Wankers and other cheap stereotypes

It must be time for some stereotype bashing. I haven't done it in a while so its only fair I belittle semi imaginary people who can be found on the streets of Wellington. Except for the emo kids who must be real because razor blade sales are at an all time high at the 24 hour Star Mart*.

The Wellington Wanker

A recent migrant to the city. Typically are a Knights fan from Auckland who recently moved here to support the Wellington Phoenix. Noticeable for having yellow fever. If they don't have the fever, the Wellington Wanker can be found at any poncey office, practicing law.

The Men In Black

Now that the man in black Johnny Cash is dead, the man in black title officially belongs the 30 something white gentlemen who wear tasteful yet soulless black suit as they work in some tall building somewhere drinking lattes and spending too much time on Facebook. This would be me but I can't stand coffee.

The Men Who Wear Blankets

Well it is coming up winter soon so that's alright I suppose.

The Emo Kids in Manners Mall

I call them emo because they were eyeliner, dye their hair green and listen to the Clash. Or rather they would listen to the Clash if they had got an education instead of having babies and feeding them chips from KFC. After selling their Ritalin to grandma the kiddies finish watching Oprah and get on down to the Mall where they all hangout out, each noting how depressed the other is and seeking to out do them.

The Glassons Clone

Cloning is alive and well in Wellington. Glassons is churning them out blone by brunette. Easily identied as they all where the same thing. Dresses with the cut just below the breast in fashion? Cloned. Skirts rounded at the bottom so they look like they are wearing a wind socket? Cloned. T Shirts supporting the latest cause du jour? Cloned. At this time I should point out there is nothing wrong with buying T Shirts with Optimus Prime on them from Jay Jays. Any more than 6 is a lil odd, but still acceptable.

The coffee Junkie

I'll have a trim fat soy latte with no marshmellows and some of your best corporate spit thanks. These pretenders of coffee refinery have no soul. As much as I support multinationals, globalisation, SUV production, Big Macs and free trade, corporate coffee grinds my gears..

The Hurricane

Big, black and could knock the shit out of you if he knew you silently were mocking him for wearing eyeliner. Dreams he could swap shades with the Emo kids at the mall but the coach banned him from hanging outside round Courtney Place as he got into too many fights.

The dicks that ride bikes and turn right into Victoria Street from Dixon Street

These inbred jeds are the worst. Still high from their morning ciggie, these hippies ride their bikes to work try and make the above turn ... into a bus only lane and do not understand when they are nearly KOed by the bus turning rightfully into the lane. Once an agrrieved rider caught up to a bus and started smashing on the driver side line in an attack more pyscho than Jason Bate's mum to which the driver told him to fuck off back to the bike shed and read the rode code. Bless.

* I can't back it up but you know its true.

When gamer culture and NZ Politics collide

Not that I endorse the sentiment but H/T to Fundy Post

Some questions

So like how many Kiwis has this new fangled Kiwi Saver Scheme saved yet?

 

Kyle Mills... has he really come of age?

 

X-Men The Last Stand - not so bad eh?

 

X Files - will it be bad?

 

Why can't I stop listening to Move Along by the All American Rejects?

 

Have you rented The Hitcher?

 

Still here?

 

 

Death is pretty final / I'm collecting vinyl / I'm gonna DJ at the end of the world!

REM's New album - Spin magazine just raves:

Nothing to do, then, but hit the gas and hope for the best, a method Accelerate -- R.E.M.'s 14th studio album -- establishes right there in the title. Whether inspired by their own stagnation, market forces, or producer Jacknife Lee, the decision to lift the rock restraining order worked wonders: Accelerate corrals 35 minutes of the fastest songs Stipe and Co. have written in decades, all performed with a sense of joyous purpose that clearly comes from a "Fuck it, let's just do this" attitude. They haven't sounded this surprised with themselves since 1998's Up, haven't made an album this consistent since 1992's Automatic for the People, and haven't redlined so engagingly since 1986's Lifes Rich Pageant, whose terrific "These Days" lives on in spirit here.



Chords/Tab to Supernatural Superserious

D A Em A D A
Everybody here ... comes from somewhere
Em G D A Em A D A Em G
... That they would just as soon forget and disguise


D A Em A
At the summer camp where you volunteer
D A Em G
No one saw your face, no one saw your fear
D A Em A
If that apparition, it just appeared
D A Em G
Took you up and away from this space
D A Em A D A Em G
In sheer humiliation, of your teenage station


D A Em A
Nobody cares, no one remembers
D A Em G
And nobody cares


Em G D A
And you cried and you cried
Em G D A
He's alive, he's alive
Em G D A
And you cried and you cried and you cried and you cried

D A Em A
D A Em G


D A Em A
If you call out safe, then I'll stop right away
D A Em G
If the premise buckles, and the rope starts to shake
D A Em A
For the detail's marked, but the story's the same
D A Em G
You don't have to explain, you don't have to explain
D A Em A D A Em G
Humiliation ... of your teenage station


Em G D A
Yeah you cried and you cried
Em G D A
He's alive, he's alive
Em G D A
Ah you cried and you cried and you cried

Fmaj7 Em
And you realize your fantasies
Fmaj7 Em
Are dressed up in travesties
Fmaj7 Em C B C A
Enjoy yourself with no regrets, uh uh

D A Em A
D A Em G

D A Em A D A
Everybody here ... comes from somewhere
Em G D A Em A D A Em G
... That they would just as soon forget ... a disguise


Em G D A
And you cried and you cried
Em G D A
He's alive, he's alive
Em G D A
Yeah you cried and you cried and you cried and you cried

D A Em A
Ah, you cried and you cried
D A Em G
Ah, you cried and you cried

D A Em A
Now, there's nothing dark and there's nothing weird
D A Em G
Don't be afraid, I will hold you near
D A Em A
From the seance where you first betrayed
D A Em G
An open heart on a darkened stage:
D A Em A D A Em G
A celebration of your teenage station


D A Em A
Zen experience, sweet delirious
D A Em G
Supernatural superserious
D A Em A
Inexperienced, sweet delirious
D A Em G
Supernatural superserious
D

heck, who am I kidding? My favorite song is I'm Gonna DJ (lyrics)!

Check out the lyrics to Collapse Into Now