Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less


Texts from Last Night is my new favourite website. People send them random texts they have sent, usually involving drunkeness, sex and the law.

Example 1:

Txter 1: You got in a fight last night?

Texter 2: Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

Texter 1: um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

Example 2:

T1:  I'm fucking your sister right now.
T2: You motherfucker
T1: She's next.


Example 3:

My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.

Example 4:

T1: And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
T2: What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
T1: He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."

E5: Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.

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