Weekend the Was: Jenae and James get Married

So like Jenae and I were married on the 21st of March in Havelock North at Duart House.

After keeping me waiting for a more than fashionable 20 minutes Madam turned up in Henry the Car in a most beautiful wedding dress:

jenae brown wedding photo
     The Bride and Henry

The sun was shining, the families and friends all seemed very happy and were actualy mingling. Ian began to play Canon in D on the electric guitar and the show began. Up the aisle Jenae came with the biggest smile I think I have ever seen, which I could not help but return. 

The ceremony felt very quick though very special. Soon enough we each had new rings on our fingers and we were married. It was a wonderful feeling. It's a small moment of exactness in one's life.

Shortly after I spied Optimus Prime in the garden, shedding a tear. Bless.

The Manatee then led a fine toast to us the happy couple. This was pretty cool as Jenae and I and the Manatee all met on our first day at St Joseph's primary school in Hastings, all being in the same class! Nathan Rarere's mum was our teacher! 

Photos sessions followed:

james and jenae ryan marriage photo bride and groom       Mr and Mrs Jimmy Jangles

We then enjoyed a very splendid dinner. I must insert a Blatant Plug for Dale and Jeremey of Pure Catering in Havelock North who did a superb job and went beyond the call of duty for us several times both before the ceremony and on the day. 

During the speeches some old stories came out involving crocodiles, lipstick and a recent story about the wedding rings. 

You see I hid  Jenae's wedding ring in the couch before we went on Christmas holiday for safe keeping. In the New Year we got a new leather couch as a wedding present from my mother. So naturally we got rid of the old couch by way of donation to the Salvation Army. A couple of weeks pass and Jenae suddenly asks one night to look at her ring. Nurons collide faster than that machine they built that is supposed to kill us all and I recalled my actions. I realise I have done the dumbest thing I have ever done. 

Bugger.

Needless to say the Salvation Army had sold the couch and had no idea where it went. So some where in Wellington CBD, someone has purchased a 3 piece material brown couch which has deep in the heart of one of its pieces, a green box with a diamond ring calmly waiting to be worn!

We rushed to the same jeweller and purchased the same ring (with a price increase of several hundered dollars). Thankfully the Insurance paid out within three days and with no hassles. Update: Ring Found!


james and jenae ryan marriage photo bride and groom jimmy jangles                       The Bridal Party

After speeches, the wedding celebrations continued with a cake and a dance. We chose to dance to the U2 cover of Unchained Melody. We did this outside, under a ring of lights in the thunderous dark, however it began to rain heavily in the middle of this, it was actually kind of fun dancing in the rain with a crowd of  70 people cheering you on!

We then cranked out the 80 hits and partied away the rest of the evening to Abba, Bon Jovi, Madonna and Queen

Next day was a BBQ at my Father's and then off to Rarotonga for the honey moon.

Bad luck girls. JJ is off the market

Off to get married, back in a while!

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Optimus Prius?

The craze to protect the environment has finally hit Cybertron...



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101 Tips for Life from Optimus Prime, Leader of the Autobots


optimus prime picture

101 Tips for Life from Optimus Prime, Leader of the Autobots 


Having been around for millenia, Optimus Prime has learnt a few handy tips for life here and there. Optimus has put them together so you may too live long enough to fight your own Megatron in a battle to the death.


  1. “One will stand, one will fall” is a cool thing to say when beginning a fight.
  2. Freedom is the right of all sentient beings is for when Prime is comtemplative.
  3. Keep your Energon cubes in the fridge to retain Energon life
  4. All work and no play makes a Dinobot grumpy.
  5. Don’t put your money on the All Blacks to win the Rugby World Cup.
  6. There is a place for all of us, even Starscream.
  7. Use sunscreen and plenty of it.
  8. Optimus Prime recommends that you use mouthwash.
  9. Plant trees. We had none on Cybertron and look what happened.
  10. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a tv show, not reality.
  11. Being an Autobot is not a career, it’s a way of life. We were born this way.
  12. Every sensational Black Cap victory is followed by a season of despair.
  13. Every man and his robot are on Twitter. Get on it.
  14. Chuck Norris is a pussy.
  15. Bono, underneath it all, is a good guy.
  16. It’s the car, chicks love the car (or truck in my case)optimus prime toy truck mode
  17. Get the health insurance.
  18. Get Tivo.
  19. Don’t get caught.
  20. Just accept that Lady Gaga was Born This Way and so are you.
  21. Eat to get slimmer, be a winner.
  22. Go to an Oasis concert and Live Forever
  23. Eat Jelly.
  24. Avoid any and all reality tv shows.
  25. Choose life.
  26. Sometimes even the wisest of men and machines can be in error.
  27. Michael Bay can do no wrong
  28. Neither can that lad, Sam Witwicky
  29. Never throw out an old t-shirt. Wear it till it's dead as a Dodo.
  30. A Spaghetti Incident happens everyday, some where, some how.
  31. You can never have enough tools.
  32. Get a big shed for those tools.
  33. Optimus Prime thinks that If you watch the movie `Jaws' backwards, it's a movie about a shark that keeps throwing up people until they have to open a beach
  34. Some women's breasts are a triumph of German engineering, watch out for them.
  35. Send Flowers. Just Because, never when sorry.
  36. The best laid plans go awry.
  37. The Hurricanes will allways break you down after giving you hope.
  38. The Creation Matrix is a heavy mofo.
  39. When she says no she means yes.
  40. Don't piss in the drain.
  41. Hang on to your dreams. The future is built on dreams. Hang on
  42. When she says maybe, she means no.
  43. If she's says nothing's wrong, you just personally started the Apocalypse .
  44. The All Spark is a myth. Like these animal myths.
  45. Smile like you mean it.
  46. Jury trials are risky business.
  47. Time, you can never have enough.
  48. Lord Baden Powell was on to something, be prepared for Decepticon ambushes.
  49. Reggae music was, is, and always be shite, mon.
  50. You can never have enough spare guitar strings.
  51. Vivaldi's Four Seasons is very soothing after a tough day wrestling with Sound Wave.
  52. Water colours are for pussies like Chuck Norris
  53. All you need in life is a little energon, and a lot of luck
  54. Be good to your mother.
  55. It Girls were once Zit Girls, so there's hope for you.
  56. Radio Gaga is one of the most complete songs ever, you can't top it.
  57. Everyone needs a friend like Bumblebeebumblebee and optimus prime cartoon
  58. Words are like violence, they hurt sometimes.
  59. Never lend money to Jazz, he gambles.
  60. There is nothing more refreshing than a cyber beer after a hard day's intergalatic peace keeping duties.
  61. If Unicron says 'jump', you ask, 'how high'?
  62. Star Wars actually happened, remember it was only a long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away and I have been around for millenia.
  63. Medichlorian's? Gimme a cyber sandwhich full of Deception feet.
  64. The Wheel in the Sky keeps on Turning, whether you like it or not.
  65. There's always a bigger fish.
  66. Woman are from Mars, Men are from Texas.
  67. Some do like it hot.
  68. Beer should always be drunk chilled, regardless of what the Pommies may think.
  69. To err is human, to really fuck up you need a computer.
  70. The Dark Side of the Moon is really really cold. And Dark.
  71. You can blame it on the rain only if you're Milli Vanilli
  72. You can't go wrong with a cold beer on a hot day.
  73. Ross and Rachel were on a break!
  74. Snails on the foot path are there to be stomped on.
  75. Life begins at 4000 eons
  76. You never know till you give it ago
  77. If it's too late to drag the past out into the light, don't.
  78. It's never wrong to wear a Superman cape around town on a stag night
  79. But never pull on Superman's cape.
  80. No matter what they tell you, Auckland sux.
  81. You can't go wrong at The Optimus Prime Experiment!
  82. You can't go wrong with Emerson's Bookbinder beer.
  83. But a night on the piss with Jazz will break you.
  84. You can never play too much Xbox 360. Seriously, she's mad at you for something else.
  85. Mary Moon, she don't eat meat but she she sure like the bone...
  86. Get the prostate examination.
  87. Speaking of which, let the fingers do the walking some times.
  88. There's a reason your grandma enjoyed the odd Gin and Tonic. Bless.
  89. A wise green man once taught me there is no try, only do or do not.
  90. ABBA is unfortunately going to be with us until the energon runs out.
  91. If you ask Arcee really nice like, she'll give you a free lube job.
  92. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the energon cubes.
  93. Life is like a box of spare parts, you never know what you're gonna get.
  94. In a Cybertonian Minute, everything can change.
  95. Be prepared, bring Rachet, not a rachet.
  96. Two rational people can look at the exact same item and see something totally different
  97. We can be heroes, even if it's just for one day
  98. In planning a raid on Decepticon forces, Keep It Simple Stupid
  99. I, Optimus Prime was made for loving you, baby.
  100. Some might say love is a river, I say it's a fortunate chemical imbalance.
  101. Megatron must be stopped, no matter the cost.
Optimus asks that if you have any more tips for life, leave them in the Energon Cubes comments section!
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The Quotable Optimus Prime

New favourite Optimus Prime website of the week


Its almost worth writing home about...

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Watchmen needed a big giant squid!

So like I saw the Watchmen. I enjoyed The Comedian being a Robert Downy Jr esque prick, Dr Manhatten's story, enjoyed the visuals, the self paradoy (if it wasn't parody then it was a lil Bat and and Robin!) but thought the ending sucked. HW shares similar views.

watchmen comic orginal image

Stop reading if you intend to see the Watchmen on the big screen...

It was kind of like the Superman / Batman Identity Crisis but not as good (though I think it was actually written after Watchmen...). So later on I go online to read about the story of Watchmen (having avoided it all to find the original ending had a giant squid! A mother fucking giant squid! 

And they cut it out to make room for some modern day environmental energy crisis! WTF? Watchmen needed the squid  to do its "a telepathic burst that kills half the city's inhabitants" not some 'Twink'  poncing round inventing free energy.

Shit man, they did that in The Saint.

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Weekend that Was: Stag Night

First things, first, I had a staggeringly good time! 

The rain ruined the outdoor bowls start up activity but we turned up to the Mt Vic Bowling club any way, did some indoor bowls, played pool, gambled on the GGs, played table tennis, ate BBQ and listened to the fine tunes of Oasis, Stone Roses and James Brown. 

Then the Stag night headed off  to the Cambridge Hotel for Chartruse shots, a quick change into a Superman costume and I was away. My mission, find a Louis Lane. It took me about 80 women but I found one Irish lass in Monkey bar! 

Superman's weakness is kyrptonite - so every bar I had to have something green in a shot. Chartruse and Midori. Green Steinlagers were the obligatory chasers. 

I crashed an event at the Circa and ran into Ian Fraser, shared a laugh about a phone box and ran off. Things start to get a lil hazy from here on in but there were many bars, cigars, security guards, shopping trolley adventures (feared for my life), and someone trying to set me on fire. 

Walked home in the pouring rain some time after 3am.

Thanks to the 12 lads who kept my glass fill, sweet talked the security guards and generally made for a great night!

21 Days till I get married!

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