How to add a customised Re Tweet button to your blog




So Tweetmeme offer a great piece of html to put on your blog posts so that a button appears that readers can easily click to tweet your message to the world... to the world! Any respectable Search Engine Optimisation expert will tell you you need to use social media to get anywhere these days. I'm not one of them, I'm just a hack and I'm still telling you.....

Tweetmeme has the standard retweet button:

<script type="text/javascript" src="http://tweetmeme.com/i/scripts/button.js"></script>

Or the Compact Button Version which makes the button small:

<script type="text/javascript">
tweetmeme_style = 'compact';
</script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://tweetmeme.com/i/scripts/button.js"></script>

However, when using this html, the Twitter account name that goes with the tweet is Tweetmeme's. Luckily, the good people that they are, they realised this is not what the masses want and have provided the following html coding to allow you to sub in your own twitter name:

<script type="text/javascript">
tweetmeme_url = 'http://yoururl.com';
tweetmeme_source = 'talktweetmeme';
</script>

<script type="text/javascript" src="http://tweetmeme.com/i/scripts/button.js"></script>


So when users retweet this button, your twitter account is the one displayed. This is handy for tracking retweets as well as you can simply follow what happens on your own twitter account.

It's a pretty handy step, as the button the code produces is also nice and subtle and can be placed in most parts of a web page (e.g. to put it at the foot of a post in a Blogger template, copy the html to just below the html line "<div class='post-footer'>" in the 'Expand Widget Templates' section of Blogger).



BUT

There is always a but - you can't have the compact code with the own tweet code. You might say, "that's crap Jimmy Jangles!" Never fear, dear reader, there is a solution to customise the Re Tweet button:

What if you want the combine the compact html AND the your own twitter name AND have the page title displayed?

Then try this little mangle of html code I whipped up in the kitchen:

<script type='text/javascript'>
tweetmeme_style = &#39;compact&#39;; tweetmeme_source = &#39;jimmyjangles&#39;; </script> <script src='http://tweetmeme.com/i/scripts/button.js' type='text/javascript'/> <div/>




Make sure you substitute jimmyjangles with your own twitter name!
Does it work? Check out my experiments with this code at The Spaghetti Incident?

As above, I said I'm no SEO ace, but I've learnt a few things so I'm passing them on. Here's my Angels and Demons Guide to high page rankings in Google, proof that Search Engine Optimisation works and will some one please answer the question, What Would Matt Cutts Do?

Hey, if this post was useful, why don't you give it a Re Tweet?

The Angels and Demons Guide to high rankings on Google via SEO

angels and demons dan brown seo guide



The Angels and Demons Guide to high rankings on Google via Search Engine Optimisation tricks


So you have a website and you think it’s a better read than Dan Brown’s new novel 'The Lost Symbol' but unlike Dan Brown’s 100 million plus readers you have 6. What do you do?

Applying this simple Angels and Demons Guide to high search engine rankings will help you get that reader recognition you deserve!

SEO Angels:
  • Write page turners. People read The Da Vinci Code because it was a gripping yarn. Dan Brown offers puzzles and then helped the reader along by solving them. Your blog writing needs to help the reader along too – help them solve their problem by giving them a recipe for your grandmother’s cake or how to take down the Illuminati. No one cares what you ate for breakfast.
  • Link to things that are useful. Dan Brown is always giving you the facts with a twist. Angel’s who link to useful information are sharing the link love and are rewarded by Google with better ranking placement on its result pages.
  • Remind your readers and Google who you are. Dan Brown constantly refers to Robert Langdon’s Mickey Mouse wristwatch to remind the reader the way the character thinks. Internal linking with in your posts using appropriate anchor text helps Google understand what’s important on your site and what makes it tick. When I tell Google that this page is a U2 Concert Set List from New Jersey, it under stands the context way better than “this is my blog”. The more specific the internal link, the better Google likes it.
  • Every one of your posts needs an awesome title post to capture the reader’s attention. Angels and Demons? I’ll bite. The Lost Symbol? Sure, I’ll find that. Will your readers bite with a post called “Scone Recipe”? No, so be an angel and title it “Scones that taste better than that of 1000 Grandmothers!” You get what I mean right? Add the butter!
  • Dan Brown is a demon at creating good imagery. And so should your posts, fill them with pictures to give the read better context about what you’re telling them. At the least it breaks up the text and gives your site a little colour. Google also likes to index pictures and will send visitors your way. Remember, filling in a description of the picture using the alt”” tags is good SEO practice! (if using Blogger check the 'Edit HTML' button in the post writing section and find the tag once you have imported your picture into the post).
SEO Demons:

  • Dan Brown is maligned by the critiques for producing some really odd sentence structures. “The famous man looked at the red cup” arguments apply to your website pages. Make them reader friendly. Don’t be a demon by filling your pages with random keywords. Readers want easy to read pager turners!
  • Every Dan Brown novel as a twist. Don’t be a Leigh Teabing and turn on your hero (readers!) by going trying to kill them with gross amounts of advertising, special offers and non related info. Stay on target with your message. Readers will come to your site for the tea and not the killer cognac.
  • Demons wear black hats and robes. Don’t be a demon. Don’t be tempted to do any of the dodgy tricks that you might find on the internet. Google will see through you faster than you saw the plot holes of The Lost Symbol and penalise you for it. Stick to good white hat practices and the Angels will show you the way to higher Google rankings.
  • Dan Brown created the current puzzle solving mystery band wagon. Don’t be a demon and bluff your way through with a rip off of his plots. Don’t copy another’s work, write your own. In a similar vein, if a news event inspires you, don’t simply re post it, add your own original thinking to it. Some blogs attract terrific readerships by simply providing wise commentary on the news events of the day. Are you up to it?
  • Don't cast an invisible spell on your text. You might be thinking, 'Hey! A good use of keywords is good seo and the more I fit on the page the better AND if I hide them I can fit more on the page!'. Wrong! Google knows this lil trick and will penalise your page if you do this.
Employing the hints and tricks in this guide is a simple and effective way to get some love from the Google search engine. I know, I do them myself with good SEO results!

Got any more Angel or Demon like tips? Leave a note in the comments!

Extra for Experts:

Check out the article I wrote for Twitip I was inspired to write after the idea I had for this post. The Angels and Demons Guide to Good Twitter Etiquette gives some simple advice on some good practices for twittering. Lemmeno what you think!

John Key's Top Ten on Letterman


New Zealand's Prime Minister John Key is also the Minister of Tourism. Us 'Kiwis' need tourist bucks to help fund our life styles so Mr Key thought he would do some promo work while he was visiting Mr Obama and the UN Conference. And what better way to do promo work than getting onto David Letterman's Late Show to do his Top Ten. While John was no Britney Spears, he did ok!
John Key's Top Ten on Letterman
10 The Auckland Airport now has a cinnabon
9 We have the loosest slot machines in the Pacific Rim
8 Only a convenient 20-hour flight away
7 It’s like England without the attitude
6 Down there Leno’s on at 9 o’clock
5 Get the whanau together, stay in a bach, crack open the chilly bin and slap on your jandals
4 Visit in the next 30 days, I’ll pick you up at the Airport
3 70% of our energy is generated through renewable hydropower – look they don’t all have to be jokes
2 We drive on the left side of the road, like the British and Lindsay Lohan
1 Unlike most of the world, we still like Americans!
>


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Jimmy Jangles reviews Halo 3:ODST

the team of ODST soldiers from Halo 3 ODST

So as I did with Halo 3, I went and got my hands on ODST at midnight. I arrived at EB Games early was confronted with lots of teenagers with acne, Lord of the Rings fans and a seriously troubling amount of goatee beards. What singled me out from them? Perhaps it was my mum didn't drop me off...

So with two bottles of V, and a packet of Twisties I was set to jump in and be a ... Helljumper.

Game setting: Heroic, No skulls. Attitude: keen to explore a little, keeping it clean, mostly interested in the story.


The Review:

An interesting opening scene falls way to a very dull start. Walk around Mombassa, find a few things, shoot a few things. The real action of ODST is the vignettes where the Rookie (you)You get to play in the scenes the Rookie is piecing together traces what has gone on in the past 6 hours. Bungie step up big time in this regard and deliver some remarkably fun set pieces to play. Blowing up bridges, heavy defence scenarios, sniping, strange looking creatures and decent enemy AI means some seriously fun engagments. I did however find wandering through Mombassa slow going and quite dull at times. If I had to call fault on one thing, it's how Bungie consistently fail to decent face detail for their human characters in the Halo series.

halo odst battle shot
The music was very different to previous Halo games. There was no cast back to previous Halo themes here. When playing as the Rookie, the music was moody with saxophones. When belting out the pain to attacking Brutes and Hunters the music was punchy.

The plot evolves around a secret mission that is foisted on the Rookie and his team. It's not explained till the very end why everything is happening and its hardly anything to write home about but it's nice in its own way. A small payoff at the cut scene following the credit roll will make some fans happy.

Overall I found ODST to be a remarkably solid game. It took me around 8 hours which seemed long enough. Playing through on Legendary will take some patience as there are some tough battle scenarios to run a through and some Libraryesque levels near the end. Playing this game feels like Halo 2 perhaps should have - all the benefits of the bells and whistles of the third with an OK ending. It has big repeat value and the addition of Firefight!

Fans of Halo will probably enjoy this game a fair bit. If you are a noob, I suggest you check out Halo 3 before you try ODST.

P.S. Did anyone figurewhat whvidldshbyjsdo is in reference to yet?

P.P.S Check out the leaked campaign pictures of Halo: Reach

U2 Boston Set List

U2 Night Two Boston Set List

September 21, 2009

Second Night for Irish Rockers U2 at Gillette Stadium, Boston, MA resulted in a few changes from the previous set lists. Breathe was dropped as the opener (yay, me thinks its a weak song). A bit of 'Stories for Boys', from U2's first album Boy, was added to the end of Vertigo. Some lines from 'Mofo' (off Pop) were sung by Bono during Blinding Lights. Until the End of the World was played at this show and not the U2's first night in Boston.

U2 Boston Set List Night 2:

Magnificent, No Line On The Horizon, Get On Your Boots, Mysterious Ways, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, Elevation, Your Blue Room, Beautiful Day, Unknown Caller, Until the End of the World, Stay (Faraway, So Close), The Unforgettable Fire, City of Blinding Lights, Vertigo - Stories for Boys, I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight (remix), Sunday Bloody Sunday, MLK, Walk On, One - Amazing Grace, Where the Streets Have No Name

Encore songs: Ultraviolet, With or Without You, Moment of Surrender

The Sauce also noted that Bono wore his infamous MacPhisto horns....

And the night is Young



Does any one care that grunge rockers turned Neil Young wannabes and probably might just bees (skipping the horrible Willie Nelson issues), Pearl Jam have a new album out called Backspacer with songs like Supersonic and something about a man called Johnny and his Guitar.

Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?

U2 are still touring No Line on the Horizon and singing songs like Your Blue Room. It's not like they have enough cash is it? REM can only dream they were in U2's position. The less we say about Coldplay the better. We could talk about Kanye but even the American President thinks he's a jackass.

Speaking of Better, when the bloody hell is Axl Rose going to sort his shit and get on the proganda trail and properly promote Chinese Democracy? Where's the Better video? Is he the only one that just.does.not.get.it? His album could have been a global killer. It seriously has the tunes man.

Fuck Slash and his oxycontin, Axl has the melody, in a better way than Jack Johnson could ever have. That said a Jackson /Slash collaboration would be an interesting meld of dynamics...



Careful, cute baby hedgehogs ahead

Move over kittens! The internetz no longer needs your cute pictures of cats requesting cheezeburgerzs. There's a new kid in town and he's cute with spikes! Jimmy Jangles brings you cute baby hedgehogs for the win! I'm mean seriously, you could bet the farm on these cuties!

Careful, cute baby hedgehogs ahead.

cute baby hedgehog
Baby Hedgehog reporting for duty!
Oh hai there, I'm the cutest baby hedgehog! I'm all little!

cute baby hedgehog
Cuteness: Evolved and Spikey!
I can haz the cheezeburger and da milkshake? How cute am I?

cute baby hedgehog
Hmm, your hand hand smells nice!
My milkshake tastes better than yours! It brings all the hedgehogs to the yard!

cute baby hedgehog
Cutest Hedgehog ever?
I might be wrapped around your thumb, but like you know the reverse is true cos I'm too cute!

For more interesting pictures of animals, visit Animals Eating Animals, but trust me, it's not cute.....

What goes around


What would Justin Timberlake say about this?

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How to fit in as an Autobot in Human Society by Optimus Prime.




After noticing the Autobots were having some issues adapting to life on Earth, Optimus Prime has written a handy guide for his fellow Autobots to help them co-exist usefully with humans. Fitting in is a big problem for any new alien, culture shock is an all too common result of immigration. With Out Passport? Fresh off the boat? How about fresh off the Milky Way!? You need to read Prime's letter.


How to fit in as an Autobot in Human Society by Optimus Prime.


My fellow Autobots,


We are forever united to human kind by a history long forgotten, and a future we shall face together. I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message to all Autobots so that we can fit in and stop accidentally destroying the homes and cities of these good people. Or stepping on their dogs.


Here's my advice to you all:
  • Learn to use language that is appropriate for the context and conversation. For instance, “What’s crackin’ bitches’ might work for the young ones like Sam and Michaela but it won’t work with the President’s Advisor.


A Pink Warrior Goddess 
  • Compliment the men on how smoking hot their warrior goddess princesses are. 
  • Cowards like Starscream do survive but Autobots are fearless and stand up to their issues with courage. And pay their parking tickets.
  • Try and keep your battles with Decepticons in big wide open areas like forests and deserts. Remember the bill we got for destroying the half the city when we fought Megatron for the All Spark? Still paying it off.
  • It was the same fool that once told me that humans don't deserve to live. I beg to differ and that they deserve to choose for themselves! Try not to interfere in human matters. Avoid their petty squabbles about global warming, free trade and globalisation. We know they will eventually have bigger fish to fry and we can keep our powder dry for the day they fall from outerspace. Space Braiiinnnns indeed.
  • I saw a documentary on their favourite pet, the Mogwai. The lesson from this film was never ever feed their mogwai after midnight. If you do such a thing you cause terrible things to happen to families at Christmas time and you won’t be getting any presents.
  • I’ve said this like a gabillion times but freedom is the right of all sentient beings. So never ever handcuff a human (without their permission of course).
  • If you step on someone’s flowers, destroy their house or cyber heaven’s forbid, leak oil lubricant on their dog or mogwai, simply brush it off with a ‘Oops! Sorry, my bad’. This usually has the desired effect of reducing the tension.
  • Chicks dig hot cars or hot rods, if you prefer. I suggest we all make sure our alternate modes are sleek and sexed up. Thus, I'm suggesting you make your rod hot for the ladies. They will be sure to want to check you out and so you’ll be sure to fit in. 
  • If someone mentions that Voltron rules, feel free to begin smashing them up a bit. Fitting in don’t matter if they be insulting you!
  • If you can, appear on the Oprah Winfrey or get a book published in her Book Club. Garner the sympathy angle. Express feelings of distraught about missing your home planet, engergon piklets cooked by your Mumma Prime etc. Remember, Dr Phil is for those losers like Barricade.
  • If you’ve got the jokes, go on Letterman. Just don’t to a Joaqain Phonix or THAT guy from Back to the Future. Feel free to mention the time I single handedly saved the universe.
My Autobot friends, I hope you will be apply to this guide's ideas to help you fit into human society. If they don’t, just show em your guns!


Sincerely,


Optimus Prime
Fearless Leader of the Autobots 
Ex. Defender of Cybertron

Chief Protector of Earth

This post means what ever it means to you


















‘One of Us’ was a Joan Osborne song that was popular in the mid 90s. It’s premise was asking the question “What if God was one us?”as in you know, what if he was like a slob riding the bus or something. Many people took the song at face value in that it was asking an earnest question. I took it as taking the piss out of god (perhaps it was even was Christian baiting) as I felt the lyrics were dripping with sarcasm through the chorus of “and yeah God is great and God is good yeah” and felt many people missed it.

Now that I’m older, wiser, fitter, healthier etc (hey, thanks for asking!) I’ve realised several things in life. One being the professional era All Blacks are pretty much guaranteed to choke in a world cup, most people are stupid and the rest of us argue about the meaning of song lyrics. Music fans can care too much sometimes and fall trap to the ‘OMG someone is wrong on the internet, I must respond till they agree with me completely’ mentality and go nuts on the web. Don't agree with me? Refresh your memory with a little song called 'Ironic'.

Sometimes the desire to respond to the idiots and zealots is just too great. They simply have no idea and must be dealt too.  Commonsense prevails and the web savy called it fisking. Yay! However, despite an artist saying the song is about one thing, the listeners continue to wilfully interprets the lyric to their own liking. This is not generally a problem and singers / songwiters when often asked what a song means will proffer, “it means what ever it means to you”.

Bono is a magpie for lines from the Bible and uses them in U2’s songs. Indeed, people also go nuts arguing over the meaning of what Bono’s singing about. The extreme end of taking something from a source and running with it can be found in religious circles. Bible Bashers take whatever they want from the Bible and use it for their own means to prove for example that Barney the Dinosaur did not exist, to predict the date the earth will collapse on itself due to it’s over sinning or that to confirm their belief  that Bob Dylan is the truly second coming. The rest of us deluded All Blacks fans shun them and make much mirth when their Doomsday cults fail and they drink the Kool Aid. Which sort of might explain why ‘One of Us’ was so popular amongst needy people, looking for an answer.

How lonely is the ultimate bible basher in Rome? Let's get the Pope on the phone…
-

Extra for experts: Check out the rants and celebrations in the comments section at this page for Green Day’s Know Your Enemy or Sorry from GNR’s excellent Chinese Democracy for example. For slow readers, Chinese democracy is e-x-c-e-l-l-e-n-t and Axl Rose does not need S-l-a-s-h....

Weekend that Was: Part Haven't done this in a while

ill go crazy

Weekend that Was: Part haven't done this in a while


  • Tried out The Library on Courtney Place. Good vibe, no Bookbinder. Irony.
  • Put up a tent. Possibly a task not done since I was 17.
  • Drank a dirty red.
  • Watched You Don't Mess with the Zohan. Low Brow Adam Sandler. Larf out loud in parts.
  • Did a post on U2's preoccupation with the Bible
  • Played a lot of Oasis. And some Metallica.
  • Bought a brand new Xbox on Trademe. It was a deal, a steal, the sale of the fucking century.
  • Got over the RROD. See above.




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I lost my virginity listening to Definitely Maybe!

I thought I was depressed when Oasis split up but apparently not. Check out this outburst from one Mr A Hitler that amazingly was caught on camera during a filming for a documentary...



Hitler is clearly a long term Oasis fan having lost his virginity listening to Definitely Maybe and taking his first ecstasty tablet listening to Be Here Now!

What would Hitler have been like when the Beatles broke up?

It seems odd to be laughing about the Oasis break up using one of the most inhuman people that ever existed as the joke. I guess it can remind us there are are worse things that happen in the world than two brothers having a spat.

Lingerie Football League: Better than other stuff!



lingerie football babe


Roll over woman's Beach Volley Ball, there's a new kid in town and her name is Lingerie Football League Coming to you all lace like from Miami, Florida, the Lingerie Football League is exactly as its name suggests: football and lingerie.

Oh, and it's a serious football competition....





Here's some pictures which show just how serious it can be. Why... they have helmets and shoulder pads and bras. Lingerie Football League will certainly give a new meaning to getting your knickers in a twist...


lingerie football model

It's important to stretch those thighs...in case the buns get tight.

Thousands of women play organised games of American Football across the United States in amateur teams wearing conventional uniforms, and receiving lzero commercial interest. So like the woman's volley ball profession realised you need to show a lil skin, here comes gridiron's secret formula to success, the LFL....

Here's some pictures of the ladies of the Lingerie Football Leauge in.. err scoring mode:



High tackle in a pink bikini! Foul!

lingerie pink bikini

Clash of the Lingerie Wearing Titans...



After the game, the girls of lingerie football don't sit down for a beer, they stand up for a pash and make out sessions. It's a great warm down apparently..

lingerie football girls kissing

Oh wait, here's some more pictures !



Yellow Lingerie. What else is there? Girls in red and purple bikinis?


lingerie football players bikini


They can kick the ball too...



Every Saturday Morning Rolled Into One

People who occasionally show displays of taste alerted to me to this beast of a picture. It's like every Saturday morning tv superhero rolled into one...Of course this is a slight exaggeration as for those of my era, Optimus Prime and Megatron duked it out after school.. as did Voltron. What ever happened to that movie project?

superheroes

Who's up for a Care Bear Stare?! No? Are you mega thrusters go? Ready to Roll Out? Power of Grayskull?


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