The Third Transformers movie is apparently Doomed

I was watching a rerun of Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom when Optimus Prime walked in. "Fuck Micheal Bay" he said, "he's got me doing some weird shit in the third movie!" And I was like, "dude watch Indianna Jones man, this is how you make a sequel." So we watched Han Solo save India from a really crazy heart surgeon while we drank a nice chianti with some fava beans for snackies.

After Jones stepped on Short Round, Optimus had another slug of the chianti and said. "Fuck me, Jimmy Jangles, maybe if Micheal stole the plot from Indianna Jones, the third TF movie would be sweet as cheese mate!"

I replied. "First things first my heavy metal friend. I'm not gonna fuck you, I can't afford the medical bills. Second, there's no way people are gonna want to see you run around with a whip chasing after Kate Capshaw, however hot she is."

Prime chortled, "yeah, she's way hotter than Megan, and way less bitchy to boot!" Prime finished the chianti, looked at me, burped and then said he had to go talk to his agent.

I nodded and ate some beans.

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