Jimmy Jangles presents: The Optimus Prime Experiment

The Final Big Day Out

2012-01-22T23:15:00.001+13:00

I learnt to play guitar because of this guy

Jimmy Jangles Reviews the Final Big Day Out

20th January, Mount Smart Stadium, Auckland, NZ

Well, the 2012 BDO turned out to be the final Auckland one as the economics of the event were no longer there. The immediate response to that was book better bands.....

This year the BDO organisers changed things up by reducing the main stages to only one with a second, smaller stage for 'in between' acts. This was an epic fail and totally ruined the feel and vibe of the event when compared to past years. Living End aside, there were no truly quality bands until Kasabian, Soundgarden and Noel Gallagher made their marks on the day.

This is not to say other bands like Cage the Elephant weren't great, it was more of where's the bands like New Order, Placebo, Rage Against the Machine, Marilyn Manson and Nine Inch Nails on the set to support Soundgarden on the mainstage??

Here's my thoughts on the bands I saw:

Soundgarden - loved them - they played a greatest hits package with a few less well known songs. Kym got all the right notes, Cornell was in fine form, that drummer from Pearl Jam was stonkin' and the bass was heavy as a rock to your head.

Kasabian - never listened to their music before but they sounded like they were the business. The crowd loved them and they had a sweet sound.

Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds - Noel was the reason why I went to BDO and I went home a happy man. He played a good mix of Oasis and solo songs in his set but the inclusion of three b-sides was enough to make this fan die happy.

My Chemical Romance - I love these little fuckers (despite their emo tag) it was a real shame they had terrible sound. The Black Parade was a real highlight.

Cage The Elephant - nice, fiesty band from Kentucky. Played their guts out - sounds like they had some tunes I'd better check out!

Gin Wigmore - she's got the sass and the tunes to back it up. Like MCR she suffered a terrible sound mix. Her cover of The Animal's House of the Rising Sun was a most bizzare thing but it kind of worked, and at the least was a performance that will stick out in the memory.

Unknown Mortal Orchestra - saw one song and they were shit. The Mint Chicks should never have broken up.

Battles - Saw two songs, they had a damn good groove going on.

Cut Off Your Hands - who the fuck booked this band?

Mariachi El Bronx - who the fuck booked a Mariachi band? Completely the wrong music for a main stage BDO band but the lead singer was entertaining and the music sound good.

Beastwars - utter fucking rubbish. Not mainstage material. The front man must have taken too many drugs in his youth. You'd have been better off getting a locally popular covers band.

The Living End - I love this band so was pleased they played a few classic hits. Good energy all round and they did a cover of Nirvana's Breed with Jon Toogood (from Shihad) - an absolute classic BDO moment, one I'll never forget.

Tony Hawk Skate Jam Show - Tony and his boarders got some great air time and actually had a big audience than Midnight Youth which is not thattttt surprising.

I Am Giant - we got filmed for their video they were doing but didn't appear to make the cut. Sad face! Never heard them before but they played some good songs at the end of their set after a same same start. Lead Singer seemed have what it takes to be a good show man - they suffered from being on shitty smaller main stage.

Cavalera Conspiracy - I don't care if these were the boys from Sepultura, this kind of music sucks.

Regurgitator - I like their old stuff better than their new stuff but these guys were pretty shit live. They sound nothing like their recorded music - playing rap songs about licking assholes has it's place but when you have bigger hits and you're not playing them, you've missed the point of Big Day Out.

Parkway Drive - music was a similar style to Cavalera Conspiracy but was was impressed that they were a pretty tight unit.

Midnight Youth - I thought this band was over-rated before I heard them and nothing changed for me. Lead singer seems like a real dick.

Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds Review by Jimmy Jangles

2012-01-11T12:52:00.000+13:00

The second song on Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds is titled ‘Dream On’. It’s a punchy tune that suggests Oasis fans can dare to dream on that Noel can continue to produce great music without the vocal contribution of estranged brother Liam (and vice versa as Beady Eye’s debut album wasn’t too shabby).

If you’ve ever wondered what Oasis would be like without Liam, you only ever had to listen to some of that band’s classic b-sides like The Masterplan and Talk Tonight. Now, High Flying Birds however is your chance to here some A-side material in quantity. Similar in tone to Dig Out Your Soul, High Flying Birds runs along at an even pace backed by a crew of usual suspects such as Dave Sardy and Marc Rowe.

Noel appears to have progressed as a lyricist – they seem to be slighty more introspective than standard Oasis fare – whereas Wonderwall and Champagne Supernova’s lyrics were meanders slowly down the ‘hall of whatever’, songs like The Death of You and Me and X strongly hint at real moments that have occurred in Noel's life.

The Death of You and Me (lyrics) is a nice wee tune, harking back to arguably Oasis’ last genuine hit, The Importance of Being Idle. Underneath the song is a nice basic guitar chord progress but it's wrapped in the usual sounds of Beatles-esque horns and trumpets. The more you listen, the more you’ll perhaps come to enjoy this as a classic Noel Gallagher song.

‘AKA What a life’ is a cracking single. Governed by a strong piano riff and drum beat, Noel is in fine form. If one had to compare it to a prior Oasis track, Falling Down jumps out, though I feel this is a better song. It has a good video too – The Death of You and Me has a matching video. Watch them together for an interesting story featuring Noel’s buddy Russell Brand.

Stop the Clocks (remember that name?) is a fine album closer - clearly written by Noel when Oasis was still Oasis and it should have been a song sung by Liam - it's screaming out for his vocals.

Thanks to the development of the MP3, these days artistic output is often consumed song by song – fans would be doing themselves a dis-service if they only listened to the singles – this is a fine album, consistently enjoyable the whole way through – with no filler tracks as the odd recent Oasis album has been guilty of.

Noel should be proud of his debut solo effort, positive sales suggest so as well.

I'm hanging out to see Gallagher's Big Day Out show Auckland next week!

Originally published on The Swampsong as: JJ Reviews: Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds debut album

Fathers and Mothers - What U2 has to say about them

2012-01-01T18:08:00.000+13:00

U2 songs about Mothers and Fathers

All good song writers tap their family tree for lyrical inspiration now and then. There's been plenty of popular songs that feature lyrics about parents and their children. A classic example is Cat Steven's Father and Son.

It's with no great surprise then that Bono has chosen to reveal insights to his feeling about his family in a few of U2's songs. Here's some thoughts about a selected few...

Mofo

Mofo was sixth single flogged from the supposedly terrible Pop, album the lyrics in part refer to Bono's beloved mother, whom he lost at the age of fourteen.

Mothers of the Disappeared

The Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo, is a unique organization of Argentine women who have become human rights activists in order to achieve a common goal. For over three long decades, the Mothers have fought for the right to re-unite with their abducted children. It was this work that inspired Bono's lyrics.

Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own

The lyric was written by Bono as a tribute to his father, Bob Hewson, who died in 2001. Bono sang this at his funeral. In the video for the song it was prefaced with the following from Bono "My father worked in the post office by day and sang opera by night. We lived on the north side of Dublin in a place called Cedarwood Road. He had a lot of attitude. He gave some to me - and a voice. I wish I'd known him better." On Your Own song shares similar parental sentiments as found in Kite from the All That You Can't Leave Behind album.

Tommorrow

The October album was definitely Bono on channeling and challenging his spiritual side - Tomorrow sees him exploring his thoughts around his mother's death and the spectre of her possibly meeting Jesus.

The First Time

A song from the Grammy Award winning album, Zooropa, The first verse of this the First Time hints sentiments of falling in love for the first time or perhaps truly, madly, deeply falling for someone - the lyric "I have a lover, a lover like no other" suggests the later perhaps is true.

The second verse refers to the love of a brother who would do anything for his sibling - the word brother could easily stand in for friend here as well.

The final verse talks of the love between a father and son that perhaps has gone sour. Collectively these three different settings make for a great story and makes you wonder what kind of person is telling this story and how do those elements relate to one another? Indeed, there's almost a hint of the Prodigal Son story surrounding the entire fabric of the song.

I believe in Father Christmas

Written by Greg Lake, I Believe in Father Christmas with a view to making a critque about how Christmas had changed from being a celebration of peace on earth and goodwill to all men, into one huge and disgusting orgy or shopping.

Done with this page? Want to know more about some other U2 lyrics? Check out 10 U2 Love Songs.

Real meanings of 5 U2 lyrics

2011-12-23T20:36:00.001+13:00

The Real Meaning of 5 U2 Song Lyrics

To my mind, a really good song is one which has hidden depths - and those depths can usually be found in the lyrics. A classic rock song, can say anything and mean everything. Look at Oasis's Wonderwall lyrics for example. It's basically a love song but without really actually meaning anything - Here's 5 U2 song lyrics that have some real meaning, and with perhaps some devilish bite to them.

God Part II

People often wonder why this song is called Pt II as they've never heard of a U2 song called God before. It's actually intended as a sequel to John Lennon's song called God. John Lennon's song refers to things he didn't believe in such as Hitler - Bono's version also refers to things that he also doesn't believe in but also goes on to refer to how pissed he was at the author Albert Goldman who wrote an unflattering biography of Lennon (and also a bio of Elvis, and given U2's love of Elvis, I'm not surprised Bono made the reference).

Sunday Bloody Sunday

This one is a pretty obvious song, but newer U2 fans may not realise the real meaning of this song. It's an exploration of the conflict that can exist between the State, it's people and when religion gets thrown into the mix. Inspired by two terrible occasions where soldiers shot civilians in Northen Ireland - the lyrics capture these moments crisply by invoking the cross fire that occurred between Ireland's conflicting religions and the military acttion that was taken - an by extension the State's role in the massacres.

Walk On

This is one of those songs that stray into the say anything, mean anything territory but U2 have but some real context around it to to ensure that it's lyrics are not misunderstood. Dedicated to Aung San Suu Kyi, this song is a freedom song, dedicated to the exponent of democracy and freedom in Mynamar. Poignantly during the 360 degree tour, U2 played this song at every concert and had supporters of Amnesty International come out on to the stage to show their support for Aung San Suu Kyi and U2's support for the people of Mynammar and their efforts to become a truly democratic society.

Spanish Eyes

Despite stealing lyrics from "She's a rainbow" by the Rolling Stones, Spanish Eyes is a love song to Bono's wife Ali - and she is actually Irish thus confusing the heck out of many U2 fans. This b-side from The Joshua Tree era kind of complements The Sweetest Thing in the sense that it was also a b-side and also a love letter to Ali.

Zooropa

Zooropa is a really crazy song that opens the album of the same name. Some fans have been confused by the lyrics of the song - they seem so mumble jumbled and make no sense. The real meaning of the song can be determined when you realise the lyrics are a hodge podge of slogans from famous brands. Zooropa's lyrics have a running theme of irony, tying in the "media overload" themes of the Zoo TV Tour into the context of a post-Berlin Wall Europe. The song's lyrics touch on how modern technology can unite people as well as separates them from each other.

Want more? check out U2 lyrics that explore Jesus, Yahweh and The Good Book.

The Best of Gears of Halo 2011

2011-12-21T21:27:00.000+13:00

I've really enjoyed writing for Gears of Halo this year – ocassionally I even wrote some original articles!

Sometimes I simply copied cos play pictures from the internet, wrote some gobble-de-gook around them and you loved them. It’s true what they say about the internet and commerce – sex sells eh?

Originals:

What could Gears of War 4 offer gamers? - What becomes of the Gears franchise now the Trilogy is done?
Quit bitching about paying for DLC you already have - and just play the game sucker.
Two Cranes and a Halo short film - Wellington. It rocks. So does PJ.
Have you noticed? - well have you?
I heart you Bungie - I declare my love for Bungie. To date my love is unrequited. Did I spell that right?
Gears of War 3's Insane Mode – I wax lyrical about the awesomeness that is Gears of War’s Insane Difficulty setting. Do try it.

Popular posts cosplay posts:

Mystique Nude Cosplay Photos
Harley Quinn Cosplay Costumes
Body Painted Mass Effect Girls Nude
Body Painted Super Heroines - Does it mean they are nude?
Power Girl Cosplay Outfits
Jean Grey / Dark Phoenix Cos Play Photos

Game Reviews:

I only buy very few new games – I tend to stick to what I know – suffice to say here’s the new games I played this year:

Bioshock 2 – the sequel to Bioshock did the deed and held up as a very solid sequel.
Gears of War 3 – Gears 3 come out and kicked some ass.
Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary – Halo CE Redux has a lot going for it!
Mass Effect 2 – I was late to the party on this game but it was a great party!

Concept Art work:

I love concept art – seeing where ideas have come from and how they ended up in a game (or movie etc) is pretty cool.

Turned out Issac Hannaford knows how to draw a good Cortana
Halo Concept Art by various Bungie Artists - A round up of some Halo concept art
Levi Hoffmeier's Halo Concept Art
Halo 4 Concept Artwork by 343 – concept art as a promotional piece for Halo 4? Brilliant and novel marketing approach.
Mark Goldsworthy Reach Concept Art
Halo artwork by Paul Russel

Favourite Posts:

These posts are favourites because they are amusing or perhaps represented a cool thing that happened in the gaming universe this year.

Should Sheppard and Ashley Williams get back together? - This is a real issue people!
Star Trek Fans Nude Bike Ride WTF? – Trekies seem to love this page….
Top 10 Worst Cos Play Costumes Fails
Halo 4 announced at E3
Bungie's MMO is ONI
Destiny: Is Bungie making a MMO?
HBO indirectly confirms Destiny ;)

So what was your favourite post this year - and that can be from any where! See you in 2012 - now doubt with some full halo glory in the vein of Halo 4!

'ello Guv

2011-12-15T13:06:00.004+13:00

Blacks Caps amaze everybody, including themselves

2011-12-12T19:07:00.001+13:00

Nice try lads.

For the first time since 1993 the Black Caps have beaten Australia in a test match! After a first innings collapse for a total of 150 runs, me and the rest of NZ's long tormented fans wrote off the team expecting another hiding from the Aussies. I even tweeted "you hurt me #blackcaps, you hurt me" but there's no pain now, just a bit amazement and happiness for NZ cricket.

NZ has a history of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and it looked like they were at it again when they collapsed again in their second innings but the Black Cap bowlers made great use of a swinging ball to run through the Australian order.

Despite a fantastic effort from David Warner who made a confident century, the defiant last wicket stand of 34 was just 7 runs shy of winning and when Brendon Bracewell bowled Nathan Lyon, the result was a fine win for NZ and as it turns out, the 9th closest victory margin in the history of test cricket.

Well done Black Caps, just when I thought you couldn't do any worse, you couldn't have done any better!

It's the Bono leading the blind blondes

2011-11-30T23:29:00.000+13:00

What rhymes with achtung?

The one thing that truly stands out for me when thinking about the brilliance of U2 is not their songs, the drums, or riffs. Nor is it the hype and hyperbole of one of the world's most popular bands but their lyrics.

Bono has written the vast majority of U2's lyrics and in many of them you can find some true gems of penmanship, little sparkles of lyrical bliss that took a good song and put it into the territory of musical greatness.

I suggest that while some non U2 fans take any chance to diss Bono, they would be really grumpy buggers if they denied that Bono was a great lyricist.

Like a good poet, Bono's lyrics feature a whole range of subjects - love and loss, drugs, faith, faith in drugs, gods, Elvis and other monsters and of course, politics and it's prisoners. This work leaves ample room for an inquiry into U2's lyrics, especially when The Edge chips in the odd song.

So what are Bono's best lyrical moments and qualities? What's his inspiration for putting pen to paper. What makes Bono's lyrics so well received by millions of listeners and readers around the world? I can't speak for any one else but I thought I could share 10 U2 songs which I think highlight Bono's mastery of his craft. Some of thing are simply clever word plays, others are stories of delight and irony - a thing which Bono and the boys were very heavy on in the 1990's. Trabants on stage anyone?

10 songs that show Bono's lyrical qualities

One

Perhaps second only to With Or Without you in terms of popularity, it is arguably U2's finest song and I believe the lyrics are what make this so - I think this is because it's one of those songs where the lyrics can mean anything and everything to anyone.

At work last week a manager did a pop quiz and asked what this song was about. The answers varied from 'it's about a gay couple' or 'two torn lovers'. I think Bono's actually on record in the U2 by U2 book as One being a song about a couple that's breaking up. But that doesn't matter as its words are universal and have been taken to heart by so many U2 fans - indeed some have even had it as their wedding song which I'm sure would be a delicious irony for Bono.

The Wanderer

"They say they want the kingdom but they don't want God in it". I think that's Bono perfectly capturing the wishes of so many of us. We want the nice things, but aren't prepared to put in the effort. Or something. For me, The Wanderer always seemed like some post apocalyptic dream - and it's perhaps a sign of a great song where it allows you to shape your own thoughts and fantasies around it (well when Bono mentions the 'atomic sky', that's nice nudge). Indeed, the whole of Zooropa's lyrics seem to take me to a strange other world, where in some places it's OK to feel numb or taste the lemon but spit out antifreeze.

Original of the Species

The title is suggestive of what's to come in this song, a play on Darwin's epic work about evolution - the song's lyrics are possibly a father looking at his daughter's own evolution from - child to woman. The second half is more likely Bono singing to his wife (and the message in the first half could also before her) - either way both, themes are heartwarming.

If God Will Send His Angels

'Blind leading the blond' is perhaps my favourite U2 line ever. It's just a cleverly simply play on words. Bono does that trick a fair bit in the Pop album - an almost too cute example is from The Playboy Mansion which opens with the lyric "If Coke is a mystery, and Micheal Jackson, history..." which was a nice play on the failing career of Jackson and a play on the name of his Greatest Hits album.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Bono defiantly wears this song's lyrics on his sleeve. A song about soldiers shooting civilians in Northen Ireland - the lyrics capture the moment crisply by invoking a cross fire between religion and the military (and by extension the State) and the sad consequences when both collide. Featuring a fine use of a marching drum beat by Larry Mullen, the song's chorus is a defining moment for Bono - it was one of U2's first truly popular 'classic' songs and it many ways this song defined U2 as a band that could carry some political weight.

Until the End of the World

"In my dream I was drowning my sorrows
But my sorrows, they learned to swim
Surrounding me, going down on me
Spilling over the brim

Waves of regret and waves of joy
I reached out for the one I tried to destroy
You, you said you'd wait
'Til the end of the world"

Simply one of Bono's finest song writing moments. Water is commonly used as a metaphor life yet here's Bono drowning in his sorrows. The song can be seen as a obvious story about how Judas betrayed Jesus and thus seen as one of those "U2 going on about God and spiritually" type songs but as with all good lyrics they can mean anything. I tend to see this one more of a dramatic break up between two lovers where the relationship perhaps has been bit one sided.

The Wanderer

"They say they want the kingdom but they don't want God in it". I think that's Bono perfectly capturing the wishes of so many of us. We want the nice things, but aren't prepared to put in the effort. For me, The Wanderer always seemed like some post apocalyptic dream - and it's perhaps a sign of a great song where it allows you to shape your own thoughts and fantasies around it (well when Bono mentions the 'atomic sky', that's nice nudge). Indeed, the whole of Zooropa's lyrics seem to take me to a strange other world, where in some places it's OK to feel numb or taste the lemon but spit out antifreeze.

Please

Not a hugely popular song on release as a single but I think time has shown that Please was a fine song from U2's Pop album. Lyrically it was a political plea, invoking the captains of Irish politics to sort their messes out. The listener would perhaps know the song had political connotations if they had seen the cover which featured Gerry Adams and other elected leaders - however this stanza effectively leaves no stone unturned as Bono thows a rock in the air to hit home the issues:

Your Catholic blues, your convent shoes
Your stick-on tattoos, now they're making the news
Your holy war, your northern star
Your sermon on the mount from the boot of your car

Strong stuff from an album many people were quick to write off.

Get on Your Boots

One could be forgiven for thinking that Get on Your Boots was simply a throw away song by U2 ( indeed one wonders why they released it as the first single from No Line on the Horizon when Magnificant probably would have given them a hit single) however the lyrics of this song run deep. Almost a stream of consciousness, tripping through it's seemingly nonsensical words but when Bono writes "I don’t want to talk about the wars between the nations" he's saying everything.

All I Want is You

This is Bono's finest love letter he has ever written. The closing from Rattle and Hum is simply a man tell a woman how he loves her - it's perhaps not the happiest song with undertones suggesting things may have gone awry - indeed the tremendous coda at the end suggests a passionate love affair being ripped apart by uncaring forces. A good lyric deserves a fine musical backing and All I Want is You has it in spades.

Summary

So that was my attempt to highlight some of the fine lyrical qualities and charms that Bono and U2 have to offer. Of course with any interpretation of songs, the whole exercise is a subjective journey, indeed a musical journey that could have stopped at a completely different set of songs.

Bono is a bit of a lyrical magpie. He steals lines from the bible and riffs on the work of others (such as when he tried to write a sequel of sorts to John Lennon's 'God') to make his point. But he does that and gets his unique messages across to the listener very well.

If someone hasn't already printed a book featuring all of U2's lyrics, they surely will as they serve as some fine literature in their own right. Throw in some politcal rallying and a little love making and there's a best seller book of poetry on your hands....

What are your favourite lyrical moments from U2?

Other pages you may be interested in:

Piranhas eat Brazilian swimmers at beach

2011-11-17T13:45:00.001+13:00

This picture has no relevance to the story other than being awesome

This news report suggests there's a school of hungry pirahnas running round beaches terrorising swimmers. No word on how many toes have been eaten.....

News Story

Thousands of flesh-eating piranhas have appeared along a river beach popular with tourists in western Brazil, attacking unwary swimmers.

A spokesman for the municipal government of Caceres in Mato Grosso state says at least 15 people have been bitten in the past two weeks off Daveron beach.

Nobody has died, but some swimmers have lost toes, and spokesman Gonzaga Junior says others have lost chunks of their legs and ankles.

Junior says piranhas are common in rivers on the outskirts of the city. But this is the first time they have appeared in waters off the beach inside the city.

Large posters have been posted on the beach to warn swimmers about the fish.

Aussie 47 all out score board

2011-11-11T13:15:00.001+13:00

Did I mention the All Blacks beat Aussie in the RWC as well?

U2's Blow Your House Down Lyrics

2011-11-05T10:07:00.006+13:00

Blow Your House lyrics by U2

Blow Down Your House was released by Ireland's Finest Export since Guiness, U2 to celebrate the 20th Anniversary of their classic album, Achtung Baby. The song was from the recording sessions of that album. It was released as part of a super dooper reissue of Actung Baby.

Burn Your House down features all the familiar sonic elements of Achtung Baby - Edge riffs, appeggios, slide guitar, backing vocals and lyrics that feature a woman as a central character that's being out of control - kind of like The Lady with the Spinning Head (which was a U2 B-side but came from the same sessions).

Blow Your House Down Lyrics:

You've been along this road so many times
Nothing should be a surprise to you
Seen every premeditated crime
From every possible point of view

Why, if it's so wrong, does it feel so right?
Why, oh I've got your gun?
Do I want you tonight?

She, she's gonna blow your house down
She's gonna turn your head around
She's gonna blow your house down

What of chaos is the thing you crave
Is it the taste of self-inflicted pain
And what of losing is your drug of choice
Is it what keeps you coming back again

Why, if it's so wrong, does it feel so right

She, she's gonna blow your house down
She's gonna turn your head around
She's gonna blow your house down

She blow your house down
She's gonna turn your head around
She's gonna blow your house down

Run fast, fast as you can
Run fast, fast as you can
Fast, fast as you can
Run as fast, fast as you can
Fast as you can
Run as fast, fast as you can

The wave, it have its
She was saving it
What makes you think you can
Oh, they're craving
Deals for breaking
Your old devil's hands

She, she's gonna blow your house down
She's gonna turn your head around
She's gonna blow your house down

She gonna blow your house down
She's gonna turn your head around
She's gonna blow your house down

Check out the lyrics to U2's Oh Berlin.

Rock and Roll and Brew, nothing compares to Meatloaf

2011-10-28T00:03:00.002+13:00

Bring me a gin

Meat Loaf Review and Set List Wellington New Zealand

26 October 2011

Venue: TSB Arena, Queens Wharf

Opening act: The under rated Luga Boa

Fresh from a stint in Australia where our Peter Pan fan Meat Loaf learnt aussie rules fans just don't fucking get him, Meat Loaf and his band of truly talented players hit Wellington for a one night only show.

Meat is 64 years old and in ill health with a voice that's had better days. And he knows it so he plays with that and makes it a part of his set to good effect with fun humour - his band thus has to carry him a fair way but the Neverland Express is a great ride.

The ever sexy Patti Russo (now at Cougar status) shone brightly s as his foil for so many of the vocals - and as when I saw Meat Loaf in the same venue in 1997 (?) the highlight was her efforts during Paradise By The Dashboard Light. For some strange reason I liked it when she kicked Meat Loaf in the nuts.

Generally speaking, fans go to see Meat Loaf play classics from Bat Out of Hell and the odd hit from his comback years in the late 90s. So we got a rocking Bat out of Hell that featured some absolutely dire vocals, an excellent Rock and Roll Dreams and a pretty damn good Two Out Of Three Aint Bad.

Three songs from Hang Cool Teddy Bear were played all in a row to good effect - and as they were recently recorded Meat Loaf's live vocals filled those songs well.

To counter Meat's fragile health, the band plays loud and does plenty of musical interludes to let the big fella rest up a little (kind of reminds of what Axl Rose does these days!) - the violin and piano duel during Aint Bad was a great example and a fine piece of musician ship.

Meat Loaf was brilliant as he played up to the crowd, cracking jokes and rambling through a story about acid and teletubbies which made no sense until the end of the show when we were visited by actual Teletubbies and Alice in Wonderland characters. It only makes sense if you don't want peace on Earth and were actually there.

A fine night out was had by the crowd - their sing alongs showed it and despite the shortcomings, the mighty Meat Loaf proved once again he is a great showman and entertainer.

Hang Cool, Teddy Bears.

Meat Loaf Wellington Set List:

Hot Patootie/Time Warp (from Rocky Horror Picture Show)

If It Ain't Broke, Break It

Bat Out Of Hell

Peace On Earth

Living On The Outside

Los Angeloser

You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (Hot Summer Night)

Acoustic guitar solo (by Paul ‘Full Metal Jacket’ Crook)

Rock And Roll Dreams Come Through

Stand in the Storm

I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)

Acoustic guitar solo (Randy ‘Nashville’ Flowers)

Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad

Paradise By The Dashboard Light

Set Encore 1

Let it Roll (The Doors cover) / Free Bird instrumental

All Revved Up With No Place To Go

Set List Encore 2:

Mercury Blues

Meat Loaf heads to Tauranga next and then on to Auckland.

Fine words to live by

2011-10-27T14:56:00.001+13:00

Fine words to live by:

Be an optimist Prime and not a Negatron

Repeat as necessary.

Lulu Lyrics Metallica and Lou Reed

2011-10-21T21:39:00.000+13:00

Metallica and Lou Reed looking cool as fuck

Check out out lyrics from 'Loutellica's' album Lulu. Lou Reed and Metallica have teamed up to produce a collaborative effort that explores the work of Frank Wedekind. Lulu tells the story and drama of a young and nubile abused dancer’s life and relationships as found in Wedekind's plays “Earth Spirit” and “Pandora’s Box”

Lulu features the following songs. Click on the links will take you to the lyrics for the song.

Brandenburg Gate
Cheat on Me

Frustration
Dragon
Junior Dad
Little Dog
Mistress Dread
Iced Honey
Pumping Blood
The View

How to restore your Dad's old desk to former glories

2011-10-19T19:19:00.000+13:00

Used and Abused: Before the first sanding

I got my hand's on my father's old desk with the intention of restoring it to former glories. My Dad had used it for years as a study desk both when studying an university and then as a teacher, then when my brother went to University, he took it so he could have somewhere to store his beer and comics on. As a result it was rooted and needed some love.

Here's the steps I took to renovate the desk and give it a new life in my home!

Note: I'm no expert when it comings to DIY renovations, I just made this shit up as I went remembering things from woodwork class back in the day. Key things to remember (and learned from past experiences elsewhere) - do not cheap out on sand paper, paint brushes or satin. Use quality products!

Step 1.

Clean the desk. Wipe away the spider webs, coachroach shit, beer stains and god knows what else has built up over the years. Take your kick ass sander and sand the shit out of every piece of wood you see - use a low grit sandpaper. I used 60 grit and make sure its some quality paper. Don't cheap out like Don Brash on a dinner date.

Step 2.

Done sanding? No you are not. Get a hearth brush and clean the sand residue off. Then wet a rag with water and wash the desk off from top to bottom.

Step 3.

If your desk is a bit warped and the panels creaky, this is the time I decided to reglue them back together. I possibly should have done this as Step 1. Whatever, learning is part of life.

Get some PVA wood glue and a T-bar clamp or 2 and glue the panels you want back together. Leave overnight to make sure the glue has worked it's magic. If the wood is warped, you may be in for a battle to keep things straight.

Note to self: Glue before sanding!

Step 4.

Yip, I know you made a mess during step 3 so sand any PVA glue remains off. Now here come's a suck-ass part. You now have to resand the entire desk again to get rid of the 'roughage' that the intial sand left. Time to use a finer grit sandpaper - give your desk some love with at least a 120 grit - I did a round with some 150 and then did another sanding round with 180 grit. Again clean with a broom etc, wash down with water.

A well sanded desk.

Step 5.

You are now ready for the last, and most fun part - the staining of the desk. The stain makes the desk looks nice and also gives it a protection from the 'elements' like beer being spilt on it. For this desk, I chose a nice kauri satin, my reasoning being the wood was light in colour and would suit whatever wood the desk actually is made from.

In a dust free area, apply the stain evenly with a quality brush. And by quality, I mean one that will not start to lose bristles half way through the job. Look for any areas of excess and even out. Depending on the product you are using they may suggest to wipe off with a cloth. I say directions are for pussies. Just do what feels right..... leave to dry overnight in a dust free area. Actually, follow the instructions and leave to dry overnight.

Nice satin Kauri finish

Step 6.

Find some matching handles for the drawers. Put them in place and you're done:

Step 7.

Put some beer and comics on the desk. Done. Congratulations. You now have a really nicely restored old desk. You've earned yourself some Man Points. Go bake a bacon and egg pie to celebrate.

JJ: Thinks about Gears of War

2011-10-15T21:14:00.002+13:00

Gears of War 3 Wrap Up

There's been a lot to think about with the release of Gears of War 3 late last month - woth no apologies to Richard Prebble here's what I've been thinking.

My review of Gears of War 3 - it's as good as you imagine it is.
What should Gears of 4 be like? - it should be as good as you can imagine.
Does Carmine Live? - what's the fate of the third Carmine brother?
What about Adam Fenix? - how will Marcus fare when he finds his father?
How Karen Travis turned her Gears over - how Travis enrolled with the COG
Multiplayer tips for playing Gears of War 3 - get your wingman on.

Elvis would have been a sissy without Johnny Cash

2011-10-14T23:05:00.002+13:00

U2 songs lyrics that reference Elvis

Elvis was the King (kind of the same as Eric Clapton is God but better) - and kings leave a long line of history and influence so it's no surprise that U2 have either referenced Elvis in a couple of their songs or done a cover of a song he made famous!

Elvis Ate America

A song from Passengers that is was almost an Elvis rant - but it did deliver the classic Bono lyric, 'Elvis would have been a sissy without Johnny Cash' which, to my mind, seems true!

A Room at the HeartBreak Hotel

Whilst not specifically about Elvis, the song is a direct reference to Heartbreak Hotel - a song which Elvis famously sang about. Fans of the Rattle and Hum album might be interested to know that U2 recorded song tracks for for the album at Sun Studios in Memphis, where Elvis famously recorded. Room at the Heartbreak Hotel was a b-side to Angel of Harlem single from Rattle and Hum.

Elvis Presley and America

Apparently this was a letter of sorts from Bono to Lisa Marie, Elvis's daughter.

Unchained Melody

Dare I put this here as it's simply a famous Elvis cover song? Yip - but it's a famous one!

Can't help falling in Love

Another sweet cover of the King.

Gears of War Three Review

2011-10-14T20:03:00.001+13:00

This conclusion to the Gears of War trilogy has been a long time coming. Three red rings of death a marriage and a mortgage later, I've had the absolute pleasure to play and now review Gears of War 3.

I orignally purchased GOW1 as a filler game waiting for Halo 3 to arrive as I'd heard good things about it and that game sure delivered a fun filled kill fest and despite the nonsensical plot, ending General Raam's grubby run was a sweet deal. GOW3 has proven to be a sweet a deal as was the delight that was Halo 3 and dare I say it, a more enjoyable game to play than Halo Reach.

I thought I'd divvy this review up into the Acts of the game and give my thoughts as the game progressed.

Big ass spoilers follow.

Act 1. A big boat collides with the cole Train

So Chairman Prescott wasn't such a prick after all and may have the key to ending this whole nightmare? Such is the set up of the game - the new stranded onna boat must face new lambent horde who have no rhyme or reason for their actions, just killing. So that's what Marcus and his team of soldiers and secretaries get up to - if it's not taking down a giant Leviathan a la a Gears 2, it's the player taking the role of the Cole Train touching down on the face of some angry b'arch. At this point you begin to remember how corny GOW is but how fun the game is to actually play. It's time to find Adam Fenix!

Act 2. Like a band of hobbits, we're off to a Big Gate

Grist for the mill this level, a long journey to find Hoffman who may hold the key to finding Adam Fenix, the father of this game's hero Marcus. This leg is a bit of a slog but has a few novel features such as new guns that are quite kick ass. Baird, though always annoying, is given his dues as a true COG soldier and appears to be getting a bit more love and screen time than the prior games.

Act 3. Drop it like it's Hoff or 'meet me at the front gate'

It's often in the third act of a play where the shit hits the fan. As we all know, the Gears universe is a Mad World - so it's no surprise when in the most epic moment in Gears of War history, Marcus' brother till end end, Dominic sacrifices himself so Marcus and Anya can carry on to find Hoffman. It's possibly the finest gaming moment Gears of War has delivered thus far - how can the ending top this moment? This moment makes Seargeant Johnson dying in Halo 3 seem like a goldfish dying.

Act 4. Dom is dead, there's a dude that think's he's Ving Rhames or Simon Phoenix or something.

Marcus is a bit grumpy, his brother is dead and now he has to get some oil for a dude that's taken Dizzie hostage. The dude is some kind of cross between a pissed of Ving Rhames (the real life version) and Simon Phonix from Stallone's Demolition Man - it's epic cheese and one were GOW is let down by it's faux 'fuck you all, in your face attitudes' - it works for 12 year old gamers but not this player.

The Locust Queen turns up, flys around and pisses off - which leaves our heroes to fight their way to Dizzie's rescue - it's a good sequence and with the gnasher shotgun a fun chance to take on some Queen's guards at close quarters.

Act 5 or 6 (I'm Lost). We take the Sub Way

We'll it's more of a way to a Sub. Our heroes need to get to Azure. I've already forgotten why - but luckily Gears of War has always worked well without a comprehensive plot so I'm happy to run around dodging big electric centipedes while I get fuel for the submarine and some parts so Dizzy can take us to wherever.

The gun battles are fun, a boss battle against some heavily armoured Priests or whatever is a amusing - but as per the Arbiter in Halo 3, I can step back and let my team take some close quarters damage while I sit back from afar taking pot shots. I do however have a strong feeling this approach won't work when I get to a run through on Insane mode... revive me!

The Final Actions....

We battle through Azure's 'Malestrom' and after all these years we finally meet the father of Marcus, Adam Fenix - this should be of no surprise to any one who's played Gears before - the prior games have built to this moment and frankly it's a bit of an anti climax. This leads me to believe he's gonna die at the end of the game somehow, but not just before he faces Marcus and they hug it out.

So we battle through some kind of luxury hotel, where people b'arch about Prescott living it up large while the cities burn. I get the feeling this anger is misplaced.

There's some great set pieces throughout these final stages - they are going to really challenging on the Insane difficulty level.

You've read this far, so let's cut to the chase - the final act is a battle versus the Queen of the Locust Horde flying around on some kind of winged horse (if memory serves correct, we first saw it at the end of the first game). The game's final conclusion is obvious if you think about it - Marcus vs the Queen - it nearly happened in the second Gears game and when it happens, it's a fairly straight forward exercise in picking your moments with the Hammer of Dawn weapon.

And the story's conclusion? Well let's just say after 13 odd years of not seeing his father, Marcus gets to face his Dad for 13 seconds before he gives his life to save everyone else and make amends for the sins he believed he had committed.

Overall this was an extremely Gears of War game. If I've been snarky in places during this review it's because I expect great things from great games. Cheesey moments aside, Gears 3 has delivered a polished, bug free (??!) game with a semi coherent plot that answered a few things but created a few questions. The game features an excellent colour palate, interesting new monsters and a couple of good twists and turns. Definitely the best game of the series, my hat of the to the game's designers - they've earnt their pay this year!

So what's next for the Gears of War universe? GOW4?

P.S I was delighted to see the Carmine character live!

I think Prime might be a little focused right now

2011-10-13T20:05:00.000+13:00

Everybody Chill the Fuck Out

2011-10-10T09:28:00.001+13:00

Piri's got this

U2 songs you should have a second listen to

2011-10-05T22:29:00.002+13:00

U2 is a band full of Irish lads (and an Englishman of sorts) well known for its big singles. Songs like Where the Streets Have No Name, Beautiful Day and Desire all popular the world over. Some U2 songs sometimes get over looked by the casual fan. Here's we a list of U2 songs that I think are worthy of a second listen.

Please, from the album Pop.
Pop is probably Bono’s best effort lyrically across an album. With word plays on Michael Jackson being history over Jackson’s own HIStory pun, the blind leading the blonde and the line from Please, “Your Catholic blues, your convent shoes” pretty much summing up Bono’s eternal search for his place and pace in the world - this song was depressing yet uplifting at the same time. Overall, it was a question being asked of Ireland's political leaders.

Dirty Day, Zooropa
“These days, days, days run away like horses over the hill” being sung over and over at the end always remind me that I never have enough time to do what ever it is I wanted do. This song did make me go see a documentary on the guy it was dedicated to, the author Charles Bukowski and read some of his books.

Van Dieman’s Land, from Rattle and Hum.
This song has the Edge singing about the life of the John Boyle O'Reilly, who was deported to Australia for writing bad poetry. The song's sentiments reflect the hard life that immigrants faced when they arrived in Van Dieman's Land.

Unchained Melody

Clearly not an original U2 song but when you hear Bono sing it, it has the emotion that all their big hits have. Released as a B-side to With Or Without You, it has been a favourite amongst the U2 hardcore for years.

MLK, The Unforgettable Fire album.
While the fire is a reference to atomic bombs being dropped in Japan (an early portent of How to dismantle an Atomic Bomb maybe?) the album seemed dedicated to two Kings – Elvis and Martin Luther King. MLK is sung like a lullaby. While Bono’s politic rants and beseeches and besmirches of The Man might put the more jaded and cynical amongst us to sleep, you can’t complain that this song does the same in a nice under the covers on a rainy day kind of way.

Beat on the Brat, cover of The Ramones, from the We’re a Happy Family Ramones Tribute Album.
Beat on the brat with a baseball bat. Yeah punk. U2 started out playing Ramone’s covers trying to pass them off as their own. Which is pretty much the music industry down pat these days. What can you do?

Original of the Species.
Coming from their popular How to Dismantle and Atomic Bomb album, Original of the Species is almost like a classic father to daughter message, 'Don't Grow Up Too Fast, Baby'.

What are your favourite U2 songs you think are worthy of a second listen?

I am the Highway

2011-10-03T00:26:00.000+13:00

Chris Cornell Set List Wellington New Zealand

2 October 2010

Micheal Fowler Centre, Wellington

A rather chirpy Chris Cornell kicked of the first night of his solo acoustic tour 'Songbook Volume 1' with a set list full of classic Soundgarden songs, hit singles in his own right and a few of Audioslave numbers - these songs were packaged with 6 cover songs as well, including the very popular, Bille Jean.

Chris took requests every so often - Like a Stone was one of the first. He had some good crowd banter, talked about the Rugby World Cup and not drinking and then cooking and burning the house down. At one stage he gave the audience a choice between Like Suicide or Billie Jean - he thought the vote was pretty even and said he could do both.

Chris seemed genuinely pleased to be in Wellington and the crowd was very receptive to his mentioning that he'd be back with his band Soundgarden next year.

Cornell Set List:

Dark Globe (Pink Floyd - Syd Barret Cover)

Wide Awake

Can't Change Me

As Hope And Promise Fade

Call Me a Dog

Sunshower

Fell on Black Days

Hunger Strike

Like a Stone

State Trooper (Springsteen's song from Nebraska)

When I'm Down

Seasons

Blow Up The Outside World

I am the Highway

A Day in the Life (Beatles Cover)

Like Suicide

Doesn't Remind Me

Set List Encore

Redemption Song (Bob Marley song)

Billie Jean (Michael Jackson)

Blackhole Sun

Imagine (John Lennon)

Check out 7 Concerts Worth Travelling To

U2 new album news

2011-09-29T20:45:00.000+13:00

Bono in full 'she got soul soul, sweet soul' mode

After the apparent flop of No Line on the Horizon (selling only 6 million copies of an album counts as a flop if you are U2), Bono and U2 were a little bit worried that they had lost their mojo somewhat so turned to Bellatron for inspiration and what followed was creative output to rival the famous Lennon McCartney partnership.

U2's new album, Cyber Love, features 12 tracks, 7 of which were penned by Bono and Bellatron together. The song 'If I was a Space Angel' will be the first single released. It also features Bellatron doing some backing vocals and playing some keyboards.

Bono was interviewed by Rolling Stone and is quoted as saying "Yeah, we could have got on the Lady Gaga band wagon and write songs about Judas but we felt Bellatron has such sweet soul, she was the stellar trick we needed to get our groove back. Besides, she makes a mean gin martini".

Long term fans of U2 are not sure of what to make the collaboration but anticipation is clearly high as itunes has already presold the single 300,000 times. Fans should relax as it was Bellatron who wrote the original songs for Stan Bush that were used in The Transformers Movie.

U2 fans who buy the album on itunes prior to release will also get three b-sides free, one of which features Bellatron and Bono doing a duet of You Don't Bring Me Flowers. It was originally a hit for Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond.

Cyber Love is out April 29 on Jimmy Jangles Records.

Rugby World Cup Team Guide - NZ anon

2011-09-26T17:09:00.000+13:00

Richie getting capped

Rugby World Cup Team Guide - NZ anonymous.

This is doing the rounds, it's too good not to post:

Pool C

Australia

Basic Info: Large island off the coast of New Zealand inhabited by 21 million convicts, 2 million New Zealanders and enough deadly animals to ensure any smart Kiwi stays well away.
If you meet an Australian in the street: You have my sympathy.
Chances of Winning: As always the Aussies rate themselves highly coming in to the tournament and are likely going to be the Mighty Mighty All Blacks final victim.
Australians You May Know: John Farnham (Best. Mullet. Ever), Split Enz (NZ Rock Band), Crowded House (NZ Rock Band), Dragon (NZ Rock Band), Phar Lap (NZ Race Horse), Quade Cooper (NZ First-Five), Russell Crowe (Australian Actor)

Ireland

Basic Info: A rare combined team comprising the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. These two nations stop blowing each other up for six weeks every four years to compete at the Rugby World Cup.
If you meet Irish people in the street: You’re in for a hell of a few days. Be prepared to drink Guinness 24/7, only stopping to eat steak and Guinness hotpots – with potatoes, potatoes, potatoes.
Chances of Winning: Pool C is probably the weakest of the lot. Ireland should make the quarters – failure to do so will result in lost Viaduct pub revenues of an estimated 10 million dollars.
Irish People You May Know: Darren Clarke (Golfer, Alcoholic), Colin Farrell (Actor, Alcoholic), Brian O’Driscoll (Rugby Player, “Could’ve doied”)

Italy

Basic Info: Boot shaped south European nation of 61 million inhabitants. Most Italians argue a lot, sleep with anything that moves and live on the East Coast in an area called Jersey Shore.
If you meet Italians in the street: Shake hands then fall to the ground grasping your eye, seething in agony. This will show your guests that you have a good knowledge of Italian soccer. Females should not approach Italian men under any circumstances.
Chances of Winning: The Azzurri have surprised a few northern journos with the odd victory over six-nations teams in the past. They may not win but there’s every chance there’ll be a lot of scoring going on.
Italian People You May Know: Luciano Pavarotti (Tenor, Womaniser), Silvio Berlusconi (Prime Minister, Womaniser), Giacomo Cassanova (Womaniser, Womaniser).

Russia

Basic Info: Freaking huge country of 143 million vodka drinkers that used to be part of the freaking huger U.S.S.R. before the Iron Curtain was torn down. Home of smoking hot but averagely talented tennis players.
If you meet Russians in the street: Ask for a nip of Vodka. Speak in a deep thundering voice and remove all vowels from the words you are using.
Chances of Winning: Are you serious?
Russians You May Know: Maria Sharapova (The New Anna Kournikova), Anna Kournakova (The Old Maria Sharapova), Dasha Astafieva (Cover Girl – Playboy Nude Playmates 2011), Nikita (That chick from the Elton John song that will never know anything about his home), Sergey Brin (Really, really rich),

United States of America

Basic Info: Large North American country and self proclaimed centre of the universe, land of the free and home of the brave. None of which is true. The average IQ of Americans is amongst the lowest in the developed world with one group in particular dragging the average down. These people are known as Republicans.
If you meet Americans in the street: Speak slowly. The Americans have no idea what English is.
Chances of Winning: Significantly better than their chances in Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam, Korea or most of Central America but still less than .01%.
Americans You May Know: George W Bush (Terrorist), Justin Timberlake (Talent yet to be discovered – but famous all the same), Larry Page (Really, really rich)

Pool D

Fiji

Basic Info: Melanesian Island nation of 850,000 people ruled over by whichever army leader was involved in the last monthly military coup. Home of the world’s worst beer “Fiji Bitter” and one of the best rugby sevens teams you’ll ever see.
If you meet Fijians in the street: STAY. AWAY. FROM. THE. KAVA.
Chances of Winning: With 8 blokes on the field that have no idea why they are there, probably not very much at all.
Fijians You May Know: Joeli Vidiri (All Black Winger), Sitiveni Sivivatu (All Black Winger), Rupeni Caucaunibuca (All Black Winger), Josevata Rokocoko (All Black Winger)

Namibia

Basic Info: African country north of South Africa (unsurprisingly) of just over 2 million people. They have several deserts and a good women’s roller hockey team. (Thanks Wiki)
If you meet Namibians in the street: You’re probably not going to have much in common. I’ve researched thoroughly on Wiki and am yet to find anything interesting.
Chances of Winning: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahaha
Namibians You May Know: Percy Montgomery (Springbok fullback and pretty boy) – Namibian – who would have thunk it?

Samoa

Basic Info: Pacific Island Nation of 179,000 people who live in paradise. Samoa consists of 8 smaller islets and the three main islands of Upolu, Savai’I and Te Ika-a-Mâui.
If you meet Samoans in the street: STAY. AWAY. FROM. THE. KAVA.
Chances of Winning: A realistic chance of toppling Wales for the second quarter final spot… a result that will send most of Auckland into a 7 day party.
Samoans You May Know: David Tua (O for Owsome), Peter Fatialofa (Piano Mover), Olo Brown (All Black prop that my cat is named after)

South Africa

Basic Info: Nation of 51 million people located in Africa’s South. Home of the great culinary delight known as Boerewors (like NZ sausages but made of meat). New Zealand’s traditional rugby arch-rival (unless they beat us in which case all that matters is The Bledisloe Cup)
If you meet South Africans in the street: You are probably in Albany.
Chances of Winning: Probably the second favourites behind the Mighty Mighty All Blacks – therefore no chance at all.
South Africans You May Know: Suzie (Waitress), Pieter de Villiers (Comedian), Joel Stransky (Dream Crusher)

Wales

Basic Info: Country of 3 million leek eating, rugby loving coal miners who hate the English. Wales is not dissimilar to New Zealand in many ways. All Welsh men are named either Ian, Gareth, David or Thomas and have the last name Jones, Williams, Thomas or Evans. Beware of imitators.
If you meet Welsh People in the street: Try to induce phlegm whilst saying Prynhawn da, Pob dymuniad da. The Welsh language is less about the pronunciation and more about the amount of spit produced.
Chances of Winning: Absolutely no chance – but don’t tell the Welsh – they don’t realise it yet.
Welsh People You May Know: Bonnie Tyler (80s rock chick), Tom Jones (Underwear Model)

Why I'm looking forward to Halo 4

2011-09-18T21:36:00.000+12:00

The short answer to why anyone would look forward to Halo 4 is that it's new Halo.

The longer version to why I'm looking forward to Halo 4 is ... where do I begin?

Let's start with Halo 3. It was the ultimate game of it's time. The year it came out there were few rivals for it, and it was the only game that Bill Gates came out to help personally promote. And why was that? Bill Gates knew it was the best damn game ever. And the proof was in the pudding - the first campaign play through of Halo 3 was the best ever gaming experience - and so to have the Master Chief and Cortana left drifting in space after that epic adventure was the ultimate turn on for more Halo - as some director once said, always leave them wanting more, and Halo 3 ably did that.

Sure, Halo 3: ODST came and went and it was a bloody good yarn and campaign but it wasn't about the Chief. Halo Reach came along and while I thought it was a bloody good game, with a year's worth of hindsight, I still favour Halo 3 in terms of story and game play. And it still didn't have the Chief (except as an Easter Egg) - So I'm kinda hoping Halo 4 will carry along the story with as much fun and bombast as H3 did and the Chief will be pivotal to that ride.

The heart of it is that I want to play as the Chief again and this time 343 Industries has suggested a whole brave new world I can play in. And what is this world? Why, it's the Forerunners' back yard. Like the Wizard of Oz had a bag of marvelous tricks, I wonder what the Forerunners will have up their sleeves?

This is the front yard

This is not without its risks of course. Halo 4 is being made by 343 Industries, a team that has to date not actually released a video game! What pressure they must be under to make Halo fans like myself happy eh? Still, that's another reason to look forward to Halo - simply to see if Frankie and the team can nail it! I'm betting this year's harvest they can!

I'm looking forward to Halo 4 because according to Frankie from 343, the Greg Bear novel Primordium directly ties into the plot of Halo 4. I think this a first for the Halo series that the majority of people will be aware of (I recall Halo: Combat Evolved came out just after the release of The Fall of Reach) and so it gives Halo 4 just a grand hint of being well planned, and the best plans are well executed so that gives me great hopes for the game!

Halo 4 is set a few years after Halo 4 and this is intriguing - what's been happening since the Chief and his friends saved all sentient life in universe from the retarded machinations of the Covenant? What has the Arbiter been up to? Will Jun turn up? Will we find out where he went after he took Dr Halsey away from Reach? I doubt we'll get answers to those questions, but seeing as their appears to be human ships in the Concept Art for Halo 4 trailer, I'm keen as to find out what the humans have been doing in the years since H3.

I'm keen to see what new technologies Halo 4 can deliver. Halo 3 gave us an improved graphics engine and characters with faces that actually looked pretty good as they talked. I imagine the engineers at 343 are gleaming all they can from the Xbox's parts to make us the best Halo game ever - we'll no doubt get some awesome graphics (any worries about that have been answered by what we've seen from the Halo Anniversary videos) - I guess the question to be asked is, how good will the graphics be? Maybe we can throw in the question of will Halo 4 with Kinect be any good as well? Will the Kinect feature simply being operational commands?

So you, dear reader, why are you looking forward to Halo 4?

Weekend That Was Part: Quade Cooper is a wanker

2011-08-28T22:10:00.000+12:00

Quade Cooper: Wanker

Friday

Drinking with Jay Bee and Ivan Defiant at The Quiet Lady where we quietly drank our Steinlager and mused about how many points the All Blacks would put on the Wallabies.
We're dared not be too hopeful Hawke's Bay would take the Ranfurly Shield off Taranaki....

Saturday

Did some SEO on The Metallica Lyric Lounge
Cooked some Rogan Josh with chicken. It came out OK but I should have baked a bacon and egg pie.
Watched the AB's fall prey to the Wallabies opening gambit of big tackles and nut grabbing.
Prayed for the Magpies to have a blinder against Taranaki.

Sunday

Mended a drawer and painted it. 100 Man points added to the Man Card.
Did some more SEO, this time on U2 Lyrics while listening to Boy and October.
Ate some Twisties and drank a chocolate milk while I made an About James Ryan page.
The Rugby Gods did not smile on the Magpies. Sad Face.

Why I love Rogan Josh and other horses

2011-08-27T17:30:00.001+12:00

Why I love Rogan Josh and other horses

Horse racing is in my blood. My grandfather, the late J.P. Ryan was a trainer and so horses were a large part of the family's life until his death in the mid 60s. The seed was planted well enough so that the extended family continue to attend race days for the purposes of family entertainment and gambling.

Most of my racing attendance has been at the Hawke's Bay Race Club in Hastings. It's not a fancy horse racing venue though the surrounds of the Havelock Hills and wider vista down the Heretaunga Plain make it a perfect spot to watch the horses come pounding in down the home straight. Indeed, the sound of the hooves hit the turf as they near the winning posts is perhaps one of the most awesome sounds you'll hear.

Here's a trip down memory lane of some of the horses I admired and enjoyed as a kid (and as an older kid!)

Master Blaster

Late for the races one day, Dad did a phone bet for us kids on Master Blaster, chosen specifically because of its name. As we headed to the track we listened to the race on the car radio. I don't recall where he was in the race at the time but he fell over a hurdle and broke his leg. Us kids felt pretty bad though not as bad as the vet who had to put Master Blaster down - he actually managed to shoot himself in the hand before the lame animal was finally spared.

Horlicks

Before the recession tanked everything, there used to a race called the Kelt Capital. It was a Group 1 race, meaning it was a prime race and had prime horses - to win it was to mean you had a fine horse on your hands. I remember the popular Horlicks won it in dead heat which was kind of exciting back in the day.

Sunline

Arguably NZ's finest race horse, Sunline was a modern day champion that NZ fell in love with. She won just about everything she raced in - including famously two Cox Plates. And she wouldn't just win, she would win by miles - at the turn or top of the straight her jockey, Greg Childs, would let her go and she'd just leave the other runners in her dust - it wasn't until her later years as she aged when younger horses like Northerly could catch her. Despite her winning 32 out of 48 races, I think I lost more money on her than I won!

Bonecrusher

Everyboy has their favourite horse and my brother David's was Bonecrusher. While Simon liked dinosaurs and I liked snakes, David liked Bonecrusher like JFK liked blondes. He had scrap books of every article written about the beast. Bonecrusher is famous for winning the Cox Plate where he just ousted Waverlly Star as they battled each other for the lead as they left the other runs in their wake. I think David liked the name as it was that of a Transformer from the Destructicons....

Rogan Josh

I'd never heard of Rogan Josh until he won the Melbourne Cup - it seemed a bloody odd name for a horse and it was my who informed me that rogan josh was actually an 'aromatic lamb dish hailing from Kashmir'. Who knew? Mum. And she then made it for the next evening's meal and I've been ordering it to eat ever since!

Empire Rose

I think this is my personal favourite - Empire Rose was another Melbourne Cup winner and I think the reason why I loved her as a kid was she was sooooo big. I remember the Cup race vividly enough to recall that Natski got second - it's not very often you can remember who got second so it must have been a good race eh? Apparently as the two went past the post, while Empire Rose's nose was ahead, her rump was behind Natski's - which just goes to show how big she was!

Image Credit

Prime and Bumblebee as Lego Men

2011-08-27T15:58:00.000+12:00

Here's some cool costumes of Optimus Prime and Bumblee dressed up as if they were Lego Men. Awesome.

Moving to the Karori, gonna eat a lot of Peaches

2011-08-23T21:44:00.000+12:00

So Jay Bee and I have bit the bullet, got a mortgage and bought a house in Karori. I understand it's a place where people go to be grown ups. I know it's a place for grown ups as it has a New World and only grown ups shop at New World. Right?

We have a lovely brick house with three bedrooms and a fricken sweet living area. We did have to make sure that all our white ware was actually all silverware so it would match the oven! WTF you say? Look, I don't ask why, I just fork over the cash. It's easier that way.

In return I get sanctuary over what has quickly been called the Man Cave and the garage for the car. This means I get to buy stuff to put stuff in said buildings like gardening shears, an axe (acutally two), paint, hammers and saws. Yippie!

Moving in was an all day effort and things went well - a big ups and thanks for E who took time out to spend the day lugging boxes and beds down 28 steps all day.

The week that followed was an assortment of cleaning, removing ugly shelving, getting firewood delivered, learning which number bus to catch and what was the best of the three fish and chip shops Karori has to offer.

Answers to the learning: The Number 3 and Corfu.

The three day weekend was a further excuse to got a lil nuts at Bunnings buying various other tools like snippers and loppers plus some weedkiller and grass. Oh, and curtains. We bought lots of curtains. And then I hung curtains. Looots of curtains.

And that's what I wrote a few months ago and forgot to press publish. Since then I've sanded benches and window sills, had a party and a BBQ and painted the front step. It also snowed. If snowed for the first time in 50 years in Wellington and it was muthuckin cold!

Mount Ngarahoe covered with snow

2011-08-23T21:26:00.000+12:00

I went Skiing up Whakapapa in the weekend, here's a sweet photo I took of Mount Ngarahoe. I love the shot of the chair lift just creeping by!

Experts should compare and contrast this snow covered mountain with the shot of it from when I did the Tongariro crossing a few years back!

Steve Lilywight talks future U2 in 1987

2011-08-23T21:11:00.000+12:00

Steve Lilywhite circa late 80s

I came across this article on @U2 which featured an interview with Steve Lilywhite who, as time has now told us, has been one of U2’s most best and consitent collaborators.

Clearly U2’s The Joshua Tree album has started to go stellar at the time of the interview and U2 were becoming a huge band. I thought it would be interesting to reflect on some of his comments about the future U2 and see where they landed.

His words from 1987 are telling..

"They have still got their best to come. They have now started to write songs and The Joshua Tree is far more song-oriented. They spent four albums trying to write songs and now, on their fifth album, they are just beginning to get it together. By the sixth and seventh albums I think we'll see some classic songs coming from U2."

Did we see some classic U2 songs from those sixth and seventh albums? We sure did! Rattle and Hum produced All I Want Is You, Desire, Angel of Harlem and a wee hit called When Love Comes to Town. And then what happended? If you paid attention as Actung Baby commanded, you’ll have heard the majestic One – a song which some how managed to top the beauty of Joshua Tree’s With or Without you. There was also the monster of a song, The Fly, the haunting Who’s Going to Ride your Wild Horses, and of course the mega hits of Even Better Than the Real Thing and Mysterious Ways.

So we can safely say Steve Lilywhites prediction was bang on!

'If you can build a band up from the first to third albums it is quite a nice little progression. It was always clear in my mind that U2 were going to go all the way. There was no question of that."

It would appear that Steve thought U2 had gone all the way with Joshua Tree and perhaps that’s a fair enough sentiment – two number ones on the US charts is pretty much going all the way in my book.

Could Steve have predicted how far U2 have actually ended up going? No, I doubt he would have thought U2 would have become the biggest band in the planet taking over the Rolling Stones in terms of sales and concert tickets sold, but he was still there went U2 basically had their third coming with All That You Can’t Leave Behind. The songs from that album owned the Grammy Awards, and then Steve swam the tide of U2 popularity with How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb* and the slowburning but the more you listen the more you love it, No Line on The Horizon.

"This is very close to being an album of classic songs, but I think that within one or two albums they could have an album which might be one of the biggest-selling records of all time.

Two Words: Achtung Baby.

"This album will do well, it'll probably double their sales so far, but the next one will be brilliant!"

Well I wouldn't say Rattle And Hum is brilliant but it had some brilliant songs - U2 got a bit of crap for trying a bit to hard to emulate the soul / blues thing that they were in love with - regardless, as I mentioned above Rattle and Hum had the songs, and believe me when I saw U2 in Auckland play Angel of Harlem, the fans went nuts with appreciation.

So based on that rough cut from the Lilywhite interview, he had a fair measure of where U2 would end up!

* You dismantle an atomic bomb with love

JJ: Reviews Bioshock 2 for the Xbox 360

2011-07-03T18:54:00.000+12:00

JJ: Reviews Bioshock 2 for the Xbox

So I know I'm a year and a half behind but I've finally got hold of Bioshock 2 and had a run through the campaign and I got say, like the original Bioshock, this is a bloody good game!

Set some 8 years after the first decent to Rapture, Bioshock 2 begins with you as a Big Daddy (known as Delta) facing your foe, Sophia Lamb. As she induces you to commit suicide using hypnosis, you immediately what kind of hell hole have you found yourself, is it Rapture's own version of the Devil's Dungeon?

Game play is based on the original BioShock (though improved), where the player Delta explores the city of Rapture and fights off Splicers,other abominations, the remaining psychotic and deluded human population of the city, using a combination of the environment, weapons, Plasmids and Tonics.

I found myself favouring the electrical plasmid, the shotgun and the spear gun as my weapons of choice. The real fun to be had its mixing it up with the differing kinds of ammunition, the burning phosphorous shells being an effective show stopper.

The story line is intertwined with the original tale of Rapture in the sense that the struggle between Andrew Ryan and this game's Antagonist Sophia Lamb is the back drop to your attempt to rescue your daughter Eleanor. This time the game focuses on a discussion of socialism colored with a cultist religion that would determine a new Utopia as opposed to Ryan's rhetoric of a free market with out principle or rule of law.

Is Sophia really your daughter? Is this a fake out like the classic Would You Kindly? from the original? Who is going to double cross me? Should I let this Old Lady die? What about this Child Kidnapper? Should he be made to suffer for his actions?

These are some of the questions that Bioshock 2 asks you to think about and even act on. There are plenty of occasions when you have no time to think but merely react - this is when the Big Sisters come for you. As you venture through the game, your Little Sister can obtain some Adam for you - the Big Sisters do not want you to get the Adam (as you become stronger) so they come to attack - the are relentless screaming banshees that do not stop until you are dead or they die trying.

The Big Sister attacks make for a delightful gaming experience, and kudos to the game designers for introducing this new facet to the game to mix things up. While it's always fun to take on a rampaging Big Daddy, they simply aren't scary anymore when put up against the Big Sisters. The music that accompanies a Big Sister attack is simply a perfect mix of conveyed terror and danger - indeed the music of Bioshock 2 is an absolute triumph.

Hey Soul Sister?

Overall Bioshock 2 is a damn fine sequel to what was a refreshingly original piece of gaming adventure. People without brains can play it for it's run and gun appeal whereas those with some life learning or education can enjoy the fantastic story - not since the last Bioshock game have I really had to think - sure Mass Effect asks you to make choices along the way, but Bioshock has the edge in engaging my mind.

I think Bioshock Infinite has a lot to live up to after this game. Hopefully it's story will be as appealing as both Bioshocks have been. For this gamer, I'll definitely be getting it so as to have another chance to play with the magic of the Bioshock series.

JJ Reviews: Dark Side of the Moon Transformers

2011-06-29T23:17:00.000+12:00

There was a time in the Autobot's history at their darkest hour, when the future looked bleak and as the credits to Revenge of the Fallen rolled, Transformers fans wondered if Micheal Bay was actually the right guy to be directing these giant fucking robot vs giant fucking robot movies. It turns out he can and that we can squarely lame most of the blame for Revenge of the Fallen's plot failures on the the writer's strike cos Bay has delivered the smash that we all wanted Dark of the Moon to be.

ALERT MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW

Let's face it, a site called The Optimus Prime Experiment is going to give props to any Transformers movie but this time, I'm giving BIG props to Dark of the Moon. This was a fearless movie. You thought it was bad ass when Jazz was killed in the first movie? This is a movie where EVERYONE dies. And jeepers is it satisfying.

Sam finally has a true moment of glory against a Decepticon when he manages to remove Starscream's eye and replace it with a bomb. Sentinel Prime murders Ironhide in a classic movie betrayal plot point and well, Megatron finally got was coming to him, killed by his one armed brother, Optimus Prime. That's right, one armed!!

It was a bloody long movie with a whole 'building collapsing' plot point that served us nothing but a vehicle to show bad ass Shockwave was. Or wasn't. The trailers made him seem like he was set to rule the planet but in the end he was just there to make some fan boys happy.

And indeed, the fan boys will be very happy with what's going on in this movie - lots of head severing, Prime with his swords and finally, he has a trailer to lug around some awesome weaponry. Bumblebee gets a few by now mandatory heroic moments and Sam Witwicky actually gets a pretty decent run this time as he's matured from love struck teenager to love struck man about town with his newest sexy warrior goddess in tow. The Lazerbeak character is utterly brilliant and convincing as an evil bird.

If you enjoy Star Trek, there's an awesome bit where they get Sentinel Prime (voiced ably well by Leonard Nimoy (who voiced Galvatron in the animated movie)) to say the classic line the "needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few" which is sure to be a classic Dark of the Moon quote.

You still have to check your brain at the door to enjoy this movie. It's one of those awesome thrill rides, that if you have enough pop corn to get you through, you're going to love.

U2 Glastonbury Set List 2011

2011-06-25T08:30:00.005+12:00

U2 made up for a non appearance at last year's Glasto gig due to Bono's Bad Back (though the Edge helped to make up for it) with a truly epic performance and set list for the 2011 Glastonbury Festival.

Bonovox was is fine form, while The Edge chipped in with some chiming guitars too. U2's set was notable in that they brought a lot of their own stage with them to the Pyramid Stage - the usual routine at Glasto is bands jump on, do their thing then let the next act on. Not U2, who brought the kitchen sink with them and gave the Glastonbury punters what they wanted.

Fans were treated to an Actung Baby centric set list It was Zoo-TV on fire.

U2's Glastonbury Set List

Even Better Than The Real Thing, The Fly, Mysterious Ways - Independent Women, Until the End of the World, One, Jerusalem - Where the Streets Have No Name, I Will Follow, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - Movin' On Up, Stay, Beautiful Day - Rain, Elevation, Get On Your Boots, She Loves You - Vertigo - Garageland, Sunday Bloody Sunday, Bad - Jerusalem, Pride

Check out Radiohead's Glastonbury set list from their surprise gig.

A costume too far?

2011-06-14T21:18:00.002+12:00

Whoever said Bono was a dick was WRONG

2011-06-10T15:56:00.001+12:00

A great Bumblebee costume

2011-06-06T21:45:00.000+12:00

Botcon 2011 saw lots of Transformer cosplay, I think this version of Bumblebee is pretty epic! Who's ready for Dark of the Moon?

Prince Charles Inspecting the Troops....

2011-06-05T21:36:00.000+12:00

Julie Feeney concert set list Crawdaddy, Somewhere in Ireland.

2011-06-05T21:35:00.000+12:00

Julie Feeney concert set list Crawdaddy, Somewhere in Ireland.

June 10th, 2009

Granbanjo has a crush on this chantueuse and asked me to spread the good word on her so here's Julie Feeney's set list from somewhere in Ireland on Thursday.

Setlist
Hiho
Autopilot
Judas
You Broke The Magic
Wind Out Of My Sails
The Reaper
Aching
Alien

Pages:
Nothing To Declare
Grace
Valentine's Song
Mr Roving Eye Guy
Myth
Stay
Life's Nudge
Knock Knock
One More Tune
Monster

Julia's Encore:
Love Is A Tricky Thing
Impossibly Beautiful

2nd Encore:
One More Tune

Chat to Jimmy Jangles on Twitter!

U2 Seattle Set List

2011-06-05T21:34:00.000+12:00

Are you gonna go U2's way?

So U2 decided to turn up in the city that gave birth to Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Soundgarden to play a few songs from albums that outsold all those bands... ;)

U2 played their set Qwest Field just after Lenny Kravitz played a pretty decent set. He's a dude I'd be keen to see play. Hey Lenny! Come to Wellington! You can stay at my place. I have new curtains.

U2's Seattle set list:

Even Better Than The Real Thing, I Will Follow, Get On Your Boots, Magnificent, Mysterious Ways, Elevation, It's the End of the World as We Know It - Until the End of the World - Where Have All the Flowers Gone, All I Want Is You, Beautiful Day - Space Oddity, Pride, Miss Sarajevo, Zooropa, City of Blinding Lights, Vertigo, I'll Go Crazy (remix) - Discotheque - Life During Wartime - Psycho Killer, Sunday Bloody Sunday (lyrics), Scarlet, Walk On - You'll Never Walk Alone

Set encores:

One, Will You Love Me Tomorrow - Where the Streets Have No Name - All You Need is Love, Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me, With or Without You, Moment of Surrender

Comments from U2 Tours: A new video debuts before Beautiful Day. It features astronaut Mark Kelly (Gabby Giffords husband, who is still on board the Space Shuttle) holding up a series of word parts that leads into the song, and then saying 'tell my wife I love her … she knows.' Kelly then reappears again throughout the song on the video screen, and recites the bridge lyrics ('See the world in green and blue,' etc.)

Members of Pearl Jam, R.E.M (hence the song snippet) and Heart are at the show. Also at the show is one of Aung San Suu Kyi's sons - for those that do not know about this remarkable lady, read the link at her name.

Cosplay, U2 and that's about it

2011-05-14T20:35:00.001+12:00

So like it's time for a quick round up of what I've been up to internet wise. First up I've been going a lil crazy on the cosplay - here's some Barbarella featuring some cougar chick I've never heard of from Coronation Street doing her best Hanoi Jane impersonation. Joker's evil girlfriend Harley Quinn made a costumed appearance and so did the Transformers. We also visited some of Halo Reach concept art from a range of artists.

U2 turned it up a notch and played a massive show in Mexico which featured a version of Zooropa.

A Dave at the Races: Winning A Trifecta

2011-05-03T12:28:00.000+12:00

Here's a photo of my brother Dave and some of the rest of the clan - they are cheering because they are watching Dave's trifecta come home for the win - he also picked the first four home as well (called a quaddie) so he picked up a bit of cash in the last race of the day to make up for the tragic effort in the Pick Six!

If only I had listened to him.....

Weekend that Was: It's all sunshine

2011-05-02T19:39:00.001+12:00

So like what's the deal with what's being going on in the Jimmy Jangles' universe? Well I suppose buying a house is blog worthy!

That's right me and Jay Bee are heading off to Karori. Where 30 somethings go to become adults and get dogs and stuff like that. It's gonna be awesome. There's like grass and a shed. Which means two things. Lawnmower and tools!! And probably dog shit.

For Easter, I went home to Hawke's Bay where I had a thoroughly fabulous time with the Te Whanau at the Hastings Races where I managed to lose only 25 bucks and eat of lot of man style bacon and egg pie. Nice baking Mum!

Prince Wills got Married over the weekend. I reminisced over the time I met Wills. I love how Post Royal wedding, this post about Prince Harry's Scandals has risen up in the stats.

Had a visit with The Manatee yesterday- he's been scaring elephants and getting mugged in Tanzania. We had breakfast at The Jetty in Petone for which I recommend the eggs benedict with the ham option. The views are great on a sunny day!

Internet wise, blogs are going well, Animals Eating Animals seems popular - in particular great white sharks and praying mantis each other seem to be of keen interest at the moment. World of Warcraft cosplay at Gears of Halo is the latest post over there.

What you kids been up to?

Dark of the Moon Promotional Poster Transformers

2011-04-30T10:19:00.001+12:00

Dark of the Moon featuring Optimus Prime, Sam and Carly

Check out this awesome promotional poster for the new Transformers movie. Dark of the Moon which willl be released on 1 July. Judging from the latest trailer, DOTM is going to be an epic movie, featuring attacks on Earth cities and a pretty evil looking Shockwave as the main antagonist. Here's some quotes from the movie trailers.

Extra for Experts: Here's a screenshot of Bumblebee from the trailer:

Bumblebee

There's a new TF trailer in town...

2011-04-29T20:29:00.001+12:00

I've had a great week, the wife was away saving the planet so I watched both the Bay directed TF films and happily enough the new Dark of the Moon trailer was released. Check it out in it's full robot glory:

Gears of Halo News Round Up

2011-04-21T22:15:00.001+12:00

So like I thought the day before the Easter Holidays would be a good chance to do a bit of a round up on some of the news that's been happening in the world of gaming in the last little while.

Talk of the town this week has been how awesome Portal 2 is. Kotaku raved about it and so the Bellingham Herald. What an awesome name for a newspaper!

But what did Gears of Halo readers do? They came for the cosplay. They seem to have a major crush on the voluptuous Power Girl. As I suspected, the Green Lantern cosplay was pretty popular, as was Bat Girl.

People still keep asking the question, Is Noble Six the Master Chief? In a word, NO HE ISN'T!!!!

In the Bungie space, Marty O'Donnell talked about how Bungie wanted to be like Blizzard. He also kindly released to the internet wilderness some piano tracks from Halo: Reach. Go have a listen, they are haunting pieces of music.

Hopping though a relay into the Mass Effect Universe, the vexed issue about what happens post saving the universe was discussed as was why the female Commander Sheppard does not appear in the marketing for ME3. Apparently it's because she's too sexy. It makes sense as I'm actually too sexy for this blog.

Mass Effect's producers also saw fit to give IGN an insight into how Legion's voice was created for the game. You may recall the recent ME3 news that confirmed his in game appearance...

Bellatron also took down the Kali Ma

Another big thing happened this week, the Gears of War 3 beta went live and by most accounts, the multiplayer element of the game will be a vastly superior to GOW2. Any one wanna send me a code? PALEZE? I doubt it will be as awesome as Halo 2 ever was..... it was also possible the achievements for Gears 3 were leaked to the internet. Question, if the internet is so leaky, why don't they fix it?

So what are you doing for Easter? I trust it involves an Xbox or a Play Station of some kind!

Does this dead person look like Micheal Jackson?

2011-04-17T15:37:00.000+12:00

So like last weekend the Wife and I went to celebrate a friend's birthday at Wellington's Pan De Muerto, a Mexican resturant who's name loosly translates as Bread of the Dead. And inside are dead people on the walls, including this strange one of Michael Jackson wearing woman's clothing looking like a ghost. Which should be of no surprise to any one actually.

As for Pan De Muerto, the food was tasty, the beers cold and the service to be excellent. It's a bit noisy though!

Cosplay: It's a sin

2011-04-11T23:21:00.000+12:00

Sometimes I think the only time people go to Comic Con type events and other Gaming Conventions is to have a decent perv at all the hot babes that like to wear skimpy out fits - Cosplay gives those hotties the chance to flaunt their breasts and legs in public and get away with it. And you know what? We're not complaining and neither should you.

So for your viewing pleasure, Gears of Halo has done the hard yards for you and found the top ten sexiest cos players ever. Feel free to agree or disagree but I'm sure can all see from these pictures, the world owes sexy cos play players a big thank you.

Let's start with the super heroine from next door, Super Girl. This babe is a totally perfect match for the sweetness that is the super costumed cosplayer.

Bayonetta - the video game character is simply sex on a stick and this rather perfect cosplayer proves it!

Next up on our top ten list of sexy cos players is Wonder Woman. A feminist icon and a Justice League hero at that, Wonder Woman is one of the most beloved comic characters of all time. We love her cosplay action too!

Here's Mass Effect Two's spot on cosplay of Miranda. Need we say more. Oh? You want more Mass Effect Cosplay? Or were you just looking for the nude mass effect girl?

You can't really have a top ten list like this without including that other super girl, Power Girl. Big Breasts and a skimpy white outfit. What more could you ask for? Nice legs? Alright, Gears of Halo has you covered:

Take that Aqua Bitch!

While everyone tended to go nuts for the Silk Spectre II in the movie version of the Watchmen, simply because Malin Akerman got her breasts out, the real class act of that film was the original Silk Spectre...

Silk Specture, Sally Jupiter

Adding perhaps a further touch of class in this suggestive couch photo is Selvaria Bles from the Vampire Chronicles. An evil bitch at the best of times, we'll forgive her for inspiring this sexy cosplay shot.

'Come hither,' said Ms Bles

I've thrown in this Bumble Bee cosplayer as she's just too damn cute to not make the cut!

Sometimes you just have to go large. And that's what happens when you decide to dress up like Ivy Valentine from Soul Calibur. The results are real and they are spectacular!

Ivy Valentine

Perhaps it's fair that the last picture of the top ten sexiest cosplayers falls to someone wearing the ultimate cosplay costume - the classic Princess Leia in a bikini from Return of the Jedi. Some things never go out of style and neither do metal bikinis at cos play conventions:

You now which Leia I'm talking about right? Clue: It's the one with the naked legs

Well there you have it dear reader. You made it this far so must sure some of these girls are smokin' hot!

Sexy BumbleBee Cos Play Costume - Is this allowed?

2011-04-04T22:29:00.000+12:00

So like I found this cos play of a very sexy Bumble costume at Gears of Halo. Is it right that Bumblebee looks this good? It's kind of conflicting. What do you think? God, I hope it's not a tranny Transformer.

Weekend that Was: Tairua

2011-04-03T21:43:00.000+12:00

Te Wifey and I headed up to a small beach called Tairua for a friend's wedding. Up till last week, I had never heard of the place so it was a nice surprise to find that all the rich people of Auckland had found their own beach so they could hide from Warriors fans in the weekend....

It was a great wedding but I'm not really here to talk about that, I just wanted to share this picture of a cactus I found in a pot plant at the place we stayed at:

Harry the Cactus

Thanks Russell

2011-03-23T20:41:00.002+13:00

Introducing Bellatron

2011-03-23T19:54:00.000+13:00

Bored of Life? Tired of watching Reality TV? Check out the adventures of Bellatron as she takes on the world one slug of vodka at a time! Infamous for her battles with the evil Decepticons such as Starscream, she'll take on any one, even an entire race of Kali Ma! When Bellatron is not leaving a sea of broken hearts in her wake, she's been known to give Superman a hand fighting the good fight, heck she's had plenty of Kills, Spills and Thrills!

Bellatron's most recent project has been to produce U2's new album, Cyber Love.

There and Back Again - Peter Jackson back in Hobbiton

2011-03-21T12:46:00.001+13:00

Today the filming of the Hobbit began and NZ's greatest film maker put a picture of him up on his Facebook page - looking much more trim than when he first filmed the originally LOTR Trilogy.

Nice work !

Show's you what a healthy diet can do for you eh?

The two shots are of the same stage setting for the Hobbit (well same same but different) - It's where Bilbo Baggins lived in Hobbiton.

I just love how Peter appears to be wearing the same boots and thought to use the pipe again for the photo reshoot. Let's hope whatever is in the pipe has helped him dream up some fantastic adventures for the Hobbit characters!

Fill the Basin, they said, so that's what Wellington did

2011-03-13T20:05:00.003+13:00

Basin: Filled

I was lucky enough to go to the Christchurch Earthquake Support Cricket Match at the Basin Reserve today. Billed as 'Fill the Basin' it was a classic Wellington crowd, there to show their support for the Canturbury region and maybe to see a few living legends of New Zealand cricket hit a few sixes.

Nathan Astle showed us how it was done with a smashing half century, well partnered by one of the original brigade of one day big hitters, Mark Greatbatch.

Sitting in the sun, having a cold Steinlager watching Martin Crowe, Ewan Chatfield and one of my favourite players of all time Andrew Jones have a slap around the pack was a real treat.

The Prime Minister, John Key, turned up as he was offered the chance to face an over off Shane Warne, and if he did, Fujitsu would donate a $100,000 to the Christchurch appeal fund. After bowling a cheeky underarm ball first up, Shane threw John a pie which was duly hit through square leg for a four. And then took him for more runs. The PM was a bit brave doing all this as he could have looked a bit stupid if he fucked it up, but he came off well and possibly won over a few new fans. I'm sure Phil Goff was green with envy he couldn't be out there....

Shane Warne, Sir Paddles and a visitor from Hawke's Bay

Sir Ian McKellen, known to millions as Gandalf was on hand as well performing match referee duties. Mauled by fans, he spent the entire second innings out on the Embankment with the happy punters collecting donations and having his photo taken by everyone. He seemed bloody genuine and it was nice to see a see an A lister in town. The same should be said of the Gladiator himself, Russell Crowe who had also flown out to show his support. Turns out his dad was born in Christchurch.

I think the day's honours should go to Shane Warne. I've given the man a lot of shite in the past but he flew over and did his thing for free (like everyone else involved with the day). He was a legend with the kids from his place on the boundary line. He signed a million autographs and at one stage had a line of kids taking turns to 'walk in' with him for each ball bowled. Sometimes he was so busy he missed some of the action. The ladies sure loved him and his white teeth!

Somehow (I suspect Greer was involved) my tweet about Shane managed to make it on the the Stuff page Apologies for bad spelling and punctuation :

In the end, despite some big hitting by the crowd pleasing Tana Umaga, the Wellington Legends team fell slightly short of the total required but I'm pretty sure no one cared. It was a great afternoon of cricket, serving up a good dose of fun and cheer following the shit few weeks Christchurch has had.

Adopt a Cantab!

2011-02-26T18:51:00.000+13:00

My friend Kimmy and her mate Pia have started a new Christchurch Earthquake support project called, Adopt a Cantab. The idea is that you (who were not affected by the earthquake) adopt a Cantabrian (who was affected some how by the EQ) and become a phone buddy for them.

You can talk about what ever you want - how crap the Black Caps are to what's the best time to plant sunflower seeds.

The trick for this idea is that you use Vodafone's Bestmate system (and Telecom's) so that the calls between you get capped at like 6 bucks a month.

If you think you might be up for the challenge, visit the Facebook site, Adopt a Cantab!

You could always chat with your new Best Friend about how this weed stash was found!

Dude, Earthquake stole my weed stash!

2011-02-23T19:28:00.000+13:00

Despite the grimness of the Christchurch Earthquake, somethings can give us a reason to laugh, and heck despite it, all sometimes you need to have a laugh. Check out this picture, supposedly from the quake, that shows that at least one person in the Christchurch CBD was growing a weed stash!

I don't suppose any copper in Christchurch is too worried about any one growing a small crop of weed in the roof right now - but you do gotta laugh right?

Check out some pictures of the earthquake, that takes you back to reality pretty quickly. Or check out Trade Me's new Earthquake support section.

Trade Me has a new Earth Quake Support Section

2011-02-23T19:08:00.000+13:00

The boys and girls at my work have put in the hard yards today to a small bit to help the Christchurch Earthquake Relief efforts.

Here's the site announcement that went out a short time ago:

As part of the relief effort, our team have been working hard to build a new Trade Me Earthquake Support Section dedicated to helping people out in the aftermath of Tuesday’s earthquake. This new section sets out several ways you can help those in need, and ways you can get help if you need it.

Since the earthquake, there have been heaps of members posting offers of housing and transport and all sorts of other things for earthquake victims. The new section lets people list and search labour, accommodation and transport. It also provides a place to list any lost and found pets. These categories are all free.

As well as links to some online resources around the earthquake, we have also included information for members if they want to volunteer to help out with the relief effort, or make a donation.

It’s a bit rough and ready, but we wanted to get it live as soon as possible to start helping people. We’ll be refining it and adding more stuff over the coming days and weeks. We hope you find it useful.

Visit the Christchurch Earthquake Support section now

Christchurch: In Cashel Street I wait

2011-02-23T08:50:00.001+13:00

Here's a few pictures from the Earthquake that hit Christchurch yesterday. It's just a fucking mess.

Truck in a hole

The Lucky

Christchurch Earth Quake Pictures - Feb 2011

2011-02-22T13:23:00.010+13:00

Christchurch Earth Quake Pictures - Feb 22 2011

Here we go again - Christchurch had another large earthquake today, apparently it was 6.3 on the Richter Scale, centered near Lyttelton, a port near Christchurch. The CBD of Christchurch has been grossly affected.

Sadly the NZ Police have confirmed there has been some fatalities where buses have been caught by debris. Many people injured as well, caught in buildings. Major reports of damage have come in and there is flooding beginning to happen. This is a horrific day.

Here's some shots of damaged buildings and cars crushed by bricks.

Damaged Building Ariel View

Car Crushed under bricks from house

Street flooded

Quake victims being attended to:

Here's the damaged Cathedral in the Town Square:

Cathedral takes another hit

Here's some pictures following the earth quake that were posted shortly afterwards by people using twitter and their phones:

A Church in Durham (?)

Obviously this building was already damaged in the Sept 2010 quake

People on the street

No fate but what Bungie Makes

2011-02-18T21:43:00.000+13:00

So once more the internets run wild with rumours and speculation about what the best xbox coders on the planet, Bungie, have up their sleeves. A seriously wild rumour had suggested that Bungie's whole new world is going to be called Destiny. As in, no fate but what me make from Terminator 2?

We think we've had hints before, such as the mysterious Bungie Aerospace logo (but that was probably a reference to Halo: Reach having a battle in space but now there's rumours of an actual leak that Bungie is planning to release a "Massive Multiplayer Online First-Person Shooter".

So WTF exactly is a Massive Multiplayer Online First-Person Shooter or MMOFPS for short?

Trusty (!?) wikipedia suggests that a MMOFPS is a "multiplayer video game which is capable of supporting hundreds or thousands of players simultaneously. By necessity, they are played on the Internet, and feature at least one persistent world." and also that MMO games "can enable players to cooperate and compete with each other on a large scale, and sometimes to interact meaningfully with people around the world."

Fuck Halo crossed with World of Warcraft? I think I just lost my job due to my new internet addition!

Given the Bungie games have featured the Master 'No Man is an Island but I actually AM' Chief and the Lone Wolf (two separate Spartans people!) the concept of people cooperating in a online game seems amusing, but Halo matching did feature Capture The Flag and other games which needed team work to succeed in so maybe there is something in this concept after all?

Let's be clear, the supposed leak is the same person who has claimed that Bungie has fired a whole lot of it's precious staff - which Bungie refuted 100 percent (they were contractors) - so maybe the name, Destiny is a bunch of freshly laid meadow muffins?

Well, Dear Reader, Gears of Halo isn't finished with the concept of Bungie doing a MMOFPS style game because there's still the issue of what Joseph Staten said a few months back:

"I think it's a shame that we spent so much time working on this world called Halo and then we only let people spend six or eight or 10 hours in it. Wouldn't it be great if we could make a world that was always there for you, with lots of stories to tell, like a big, infinite storytelling horizon? Man, that would be great."

Bungie staffers do not talk idly, or wistfully or simply through shit out there so this was a pretty good indicator - well it would be if we actually had something to hang our hats on. Until we do it's all speculation that Bungie is making some kind of open world universe and as for the name Destiny? I doubt it, it just doesn't have that magical ring to it....

Extra for Experts: And as for the shit about Bungie and supposed poor treatment and firing of contractors, that's exactly what happens with contractors - they are cattle to be farmed for their talents and sent to the meat works when the job has been done. And they get paid well for it too! Suck it up b'arches.

Weekend that Was: Tongariro Crossing

2011-02-13T22:00:00.001+13:00

Pretty Simple weekend for Jimmy Jangles:

Te Wife and some of my colleagues made like trampers and followed the much walked Tongariro Crossing, a 19km hike through Tongaririo National Park. It's hard yakka in parts but full of great views. It even has reception and I was able to tweet from the base of Mount Ngarahoe! Technology eh? What would the world have been like if Ed Hilary had twittered "We knocked the bastard off!"?

I did the Tongariro trip in 2005, I'm sure u'll agree I'm still just as handsome as I ever was....sadly for us their was a little bit of cloud so we couldn't see much of Tongario or Ruapehu, but as we got to the other side the canvas of Lake Taupo was pretty cool!

Woke up on Sunday with legs like concrete and they refused to move but somehow we made it to see Black Swan. Who knew ballet could be so entertaining? I hope Natalie Portman gets an Oscar award; and with her literally crazy performance she's got a good chance.

In other news, Banarama went top of the charts in Egypt.

Optimus Prime Animation by Neil Billings

2011-02-06T14:47:00.000+13:00

Neil's got nothing to do now that he's finished his Monsters Eat Spaceships animation so he did what every animator should do and has brought Optimus Prime to life in a quick and dirty animation:

Optimus Prime from Neil Billings on Vimeo.

Visit www.NeilBillings.com for more design.

Extra for Experts: Check out this oarsome costumed team of Optimus Primes from the Sevens Rugby tournament.

JJ Reviews: Mass Effect 2

2011-02-05T12:22:00.000+13:00

So like I finally completed Mass Effect 2 and it's quite the game eh? But you already knew that didn't you? I tend to be very picky with my Xbox game purchases and will often only purchase a game well after the hype has died and the reviews and reflections of seasoned gamers are to be found. That was how I found the original Mass Effect and when the price was right, I snapped it up.

After that Magnificent game, I don't know why I delayed getting ME2 for so long. It's a triumph of story telling, it's your own pick-a-path in space - knowing the choices I make for our hero Commander Sheppard have repercussions in game and in ME3 can make for a tortuous exercise at times!

Knowing that I have a renegade Sheppard game saved for another run through meant I could generally keep a firm line - I usually chose a paragon action over the renegade but once in a while it was literally fun to stab someone in the back.

The characters to be found in ME2 are almost larger than life. When you get passed the dullsville that is Jacob, the Krogan known as Grunt, and to a certain extent, Miranda, the Mass Effect universe is full of interesting characters. I really enjoyed chatting with Mordin Solus about the ethics of the genophage and Samara's views on vigilante justice. I was disappointed when I managed to let her die during the suicide mission - I won't let that happen on my second run though!

I found the combat to be improved this time round, I don't know if was all my training with the sniper rifle in Halo: Reach or that they made it easier but this was my goto weapon for most encounters. I liked how MED made the whole weapons arrangement systems 'automatic'.

Despite lots of complaints from people, I didn't mind the mining operation part of the game to fund weapon upgrades and the like. Sometimes a bit of toil can bring rewards and I figure doing all of that helped build to a successful suicide mission outcome (maybe further run throughs with different choices may render that idea redundant?).

The original game was perhaps infamous as it allowed your character to pursue sexual conquests with your team mate. Clearly the ME2 designers had still not been told of the expression, never screw the crew, because I managed to get it on with Miranda. Here's my reward:

It was amusing to meet ME's original love, Ashely on a mission wherein she immediately got all mad at Sheppard for dying on her, not calling or whatever and basically threw a sulking tantrum only to apologise by an email later on. Does sleeping with Miranda after 'chat' that mean Sheppard cheated on Ashley? What repercussions if any will this have for Mass Effect 3? Either way, I stayed away from that Jack girl. She got crazy coming out her ears!

I did appeciate how the choices made in ME1 had some influence on this new story. While I may have shot a certain grumpy Krogan die because he bored me and let the Arachni Queen live simply because I like spiders, I was pleased to see they had an relevance in ME2 - and so see how the alien races in universe of ME are slowly banding together as a result of in game actions is a great example of game play and story telling.

Overall I immensely enjoyed my first run through of Mass Effect, it as a mulitude of stories to tell, many aliens to shoot and the graphics and cut scenes were top notch. Bring on Sheppard saving Earth in ME3

The Greatest Sevens Costume Ever: Optimus Primes

2011-02-05T09:41:00.000+13:00

So the best rugby sevens costume ever has been found. Finally, after searching from Cybertron to Earth and back, The Optimus Prime Experiment has obtained footage of the ultimate sevens costume. What's better than one Prime? four!

If for some reason, a team of Optimus Primes doesn't spin your wheels, check out some sevens pictures and sevens costumes!

2011 Rugby Sevens Costumes and Cosplay

2011-02-04T19:36:00.002+13:00

I'm a barbie girl!

We've got more! Our first page of sevens costumes pictures went down a treat with at least 2 people liking it enough on Facebook so we went and found more costumes from the Friday evening stretch.

Costume choices of the day included some Fred Daggs doing their kiwi equivalent of Being John Malkovich and some sexy girls dressed up as rubix cubes. Bless.

These guys and girls made right boobs of themselves! And why not, if you actually get your kit out at the Sevens (or any other sporting occasion at the Cake Tin) they through you out for indecent exposure. ...

Punch it Chewey!

I'm Fred! No I'm Fred!

Fred Dagg is a classic kiwi icon - a caricature of a NZ farmer / bloke - the Fred Dag is an easy costume to make, slap on your black wifebeater single, step into your gumboots and you are away in cosplay heaven- the exta bonus is when you wake up inthe morning still wearing your sevens costume, you're ready to shear a few hundy sheep!

Men with blow up birds. What else is there do say?

Even if you solve it, they won't give you their numbers!

Which one of these ladies is the Ring Master?

Office Stationary as a costume. Brilliant. Get it?

As you can see, the Sevens Weekend is all about the costumes, no one even watches the rugby - why would you went there's so much to look at in the stands!

Rugby Sevens Costume Photo Wellington 2011

2011-02-04T18:10:00.003+13:00

Two Captain Americas: Where's their shields?

Rugby Sevens Costume Photo Wellington 2011

There's a weekend every year when Wellingtonians go a lil crazy - The Rugby Sevens Tournament is a chance people to dress up and go and party in the Wellington Stadium, known affectionately to us locals as the Cake Tin.

The Sevens is a tournament that is part of the IRB World Series - Kiwi's love to party and this weekend is an excuse to dress up and have a good time. And as they say, if you get bored you can always watch the rugby!

Check out these pictures of the fans all dressed up in their costumes and outfits - is that your sister in the tights?

The Domino Effect?

Internet geeks might know this kind of dressing up as cosplay, but to everyone it's simply a publically acceptable time for men to dress up in tutus in public!

Catholic School Girls Rule OK?

If you remember the 60s, you weren't there..

A splash of tartan makes the Caketin feel like home...

The Incredible Hulk: You won't like him when he's Angry

Cheers Girls!

Shrektacular

I am surprised I haven't found and Lady Gaga costumes yet. Meat Bikini anyone?

The Wellington Open?

South African Team Supporter as Cheetahs?

Black Swan: All Ugly Ducklings

The Gingerbread Men

Upper Hutt Flamingos Club

So as to who won the rugby, I have no idea but that was not the point of Sevens Weekend 2011, it 2qw all about dressing up in something stupid (or sexy) and hanging with your mates. Watching a few tries being scored, or your best mate pashing barney the dinosaur in the bar afterwards was all part of the fun.

What will you wear next year? A Supergirl costume?

Monsters eat Spaceships

2011-02-03T23:28:00.001+13:00

So my old school chum turned drinking buddy Neil Billings has put together his first animated short film. Some one give the man a job! Check out his sweet video, Monsters eat Spaceships. If only Stanley Kubrick had of thought to include a fart joke in his Space Odyessy...

Neil says "It was entirely made in 3dsmax. It's about the adventures of Zach Zillion and his attempts to escape from the giant claws of a space monster with the help of his sarcastic side-kick Socrates!"

Weekend that Was: End of Jan

2011-01-31T08:54:00.002+13:00

January has nearly gone in a blur of fun, December went so fast that all I remember is a lot of ham and chocolate mousse.

January began with a fabulous trip around the top of the South Island, memories of swimming with seals and standing on beaches with no one else on them a still very fresh.

After that it was back to work to a list of things to do as long as the lies the government told during the war but you get that on the big jobs eh?

So this weekeend we attended the premiere of Neil's first animated feature, a wonderful Sci Fi short which I hope helps get him places. The link takes you to a short demo, not the full feature. At the premiere there was tequila and pie. Lots of pie.

Gaming: got in some time on Mass Effect 2 - that game rocks! Cant.Hardly.Wait. till ME3! We also hit the Kinnect Sports game. I'm sure Kinnect will be an Olympic sport in no time because with it as there's no reason to go play out side when you can do the 100m sprint indoors!

Did you make her?

2011-01-29T12:10:00.000+13:00

So I was checking through the analytics of my websites (some of you have really interesting search terms) and I noticed that one day this month the Optimus Prime Experiment had one truly insane day for web visitors:

People usually come to The Optimus Prime Experiment to get advice from the Autobot Leader, look at pictures of sharks or check out chicks in bikinis playing football. But on this day google sent over 1500 odd more people to check out my Stair Way To Heaven Lyrics page. WTF? That's an OLD song! I began to wonder - had I finally optimised a page with Perfect SEO and this was my reward? Was this evidence of some evergreen content working?

People were entering the search term 'There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold' line from the song and ending up at this page. Why? I have no idea - certainly the phrase wasn't the subject of any news media recently - may be it was just one of those things, either way, it's nice to get a little bit of google love eh?

If only this would happen at my new site, Gears of Halo....

Extra for Experts: This is simply a blatant link to Lady Gaga's new song, Born This Way. What's that? You want Edge of Glory lyrics too? No problem. After all baby, it's all about You and I right?

Ra Ra Oohhh Lady Gaga

2011-01-26T19:34:00.000+13:00

What is it that takes people to the Edge of Glory, only for them to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? I mean, the Black Caps can hardly win a match to save themselves. Maybe the players were all born this way, destined to be starring at the sun, forever playing second fiddle to what ever nation turns up at the Pavillion?

Marcus Fenix would never have this problem.

All I'm saying is the Black Caps were lucky it rained today......

Extra for Experts: Clearly this post is a bunch of nonsense. This link on SEO may explain why...

Check out lyrics to Marry the Night by Lady Gaga

Dark of the Moon Quotes Transformers Movie

2011-01-24T22:45:00.007+13:00

Dark Side of the Moon Quotes from the Transformers Movie

Long serving fans of the Transformers film series will know very well the the movies have lots of hokey lines and goofey quotes. T3 has a bunch of quotes from Sam Witwicky that just make you want to punch yourself in the head. That is until the robot of all robots, Optimus Prime steps in with a few wise words.

Dark of the Moon Quotes from the first trailer:

Buzz Aldrin: You cannot believe what we're seeing...

Mission Control: We are not alone after all, are we?
Astronaut Buzz Aldrin: No, Sir. We are not alone.

Walter Cronkite: We now have had confirmation of loss of signal from Apollo 11. Apollo 11 is on the far side of the moon...

[at Mission Control, someone turns off a transmitter to the news station]

Mission Control to Neil Armstrong: Neil, you are dark on the rock. The mission is a "go". You have 21 minutes...

Optimus Prime: Everything humans know of our planet we were told had been shared. You lied to us. You've made a grave mistake.

Agent Seymour Simmons: Years from now, they're gonna ask where you were, when they took over the planet.

Optimus Prime: You may lose your faith in us, but never in yourselves. From here, the fight will be your own.

Sentinel Prime: The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few (which is a quote cribbed from Star Trek 2)

Starscream: My eye!

Starscream: I can't see! I can't see!

Shockwave: Optimus!

Bruce Brazos: WTF to that.

Sentinel Prime: The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

Brains: [sneaks aboard the space cruiser] Uh-oh, now this is a clufterf...

Lennox: What the hell was that?

Optimus Prime: That, is Shockwave.

Laserbeak: Is your Daddy home?

Megatron: All hail Megatron!

Sentinel Prime: Optimus... all I ever wanted was the survival of our race... You must see... why I had to betray you...

Optimus Prime: [picks up Megatron's gun] You didn't betray me. You betrayed yourself.

[takes aim at Sentinel]

Sentinel Prime: NO, OPTIMUS...!

[Optimus fires]

Sam Witwicky: [to Lennox] We gotta get Sentinel outta here, he is the key to all this...

Sentinel Prime: Indeed I am! What you must realize, my Autobot brothers, is we were never going to win the war! For the sake of our planet's survival, a deal had to be made with Megatron!

[blasts Ironhide]

Lennox: GET BACK!

Ironhide: [rusting away] Sentinel... what have you done?

Sentinel Prime: [to Ironhide] I hereby discharge you from duty!

Dutch: I am sorry. That is the old me.

Lennox: Snipers, take out their eyes.

Jerry Wang: [pulls guns on Laserbeak] Who wants some chicken dinner now, bitch? Huh? Looks like someone messed with the wrong Wang today!

Charlotte Mearing: [Repeated line] Don't call me Ma'am, I'm not a ma'am.

Dylan: The kid who saved the world. You think you're a hero? YOU THINK YOU'RE A HERO?

Sam Witwicky: No, I'm just a messenger.

[knocks Dylan into the pillar]

Megatron: Now, we need a truce. All I want is to be back in charge. Besides, who would you be without me, Prime?

Optimus Prime: Time to find out!

[attacks Megatron and beheads him]

Ironhide: Class dismissed.

Bumblebee: Good-bye my oldest friend.

Sentinel Prime: The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

[references Star Trek II]

Simmons: Don't worry, I speak their language.

[doorman opens sliding hatch]

Simmons: Do svidaniya.

Russian Bouncer: That means goodbye!

[closes hatch]

Starscream: [trapping Sam and Carly] What a treat! You and me, alone!

Que: Ah, good you're here. My names Que. I do hope you have answers for him, i've never seen him so upset!

Lennox: Optimus, you remember Charlotte Mearing, our director of National Intelligence?

[Optimus stays in truck mode]

Dino: He's in a bad mood. He's not talking to anybody today.

Charlotte Mearing: What is this, the silent treatment?

Ironhide: We've seen that and this is not that.

Que: Definitely not!

Ironhide: This is worse. Prime, make something of yourself!

[bangs fist on top of Optimus's cab, Optimus transforms]

Ironhide: He's pissed.

Optimus Prime: [pounds the ground] You lied to us! Everything humans know of our planet we were told had all been shared!

[points to engine part]

Optimus Prime: So why was this found in human possession?

Bumblebee: [to Bruce] Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a kid?

Simmons: [Wants to impress the Russians with a Russian phrase] Dutch! Give me something tough.

Dutch: Eh?

[browses dictionary in panic]

Dutch: Baryshnikov!

Cosmonaut Dimitri: We do speak English.

Simmons: Dutch! You suck.

Dutch: But... It's the Cyrillic... alphabet. It's like all the buttons you never push on the calculator.

Simmons: The Germans, they know how to make cars!

Laserbeak: [to Alexi Voskhod] Pleasure doing business with you!

[Buzz Aldrin and Optimus Prime meet]

Buzz Aldrin: It's an honor meeting you.

Optimus Prime: The honor is all mine.

Soundwave: Soundwave reporting Lord Megatron.

Megatron: And what news from your little assassin?

Laserbeak: Autobots have taken the bait! They've discovered the Ark, and returned with its cargo!

Megatron: You did me a great honour, tracking that ship to the moon. Your human collaborators have served their purpose, Soundwave. It's time to eliminate loose ends.

Soundwave: Laserbeak: kill them all.

Laserbeak: With pleasure!

[flies away]

Laserbeak: [caws] Jerry... you are my favorite...

Jerry Wang: I did what you want!

Laserbeak: [strokes Wang] I know... but my superiors need me to suicide you.

[the Dreads attack Simmons and Dutch]

Dutch: Oh mein Gott! I am fired!

[Ironhide smashes into Crankcase and Crowbar]

Ironhide: Is there a problem?

[Ironhide and Sideswipe vs Crankcase and Hatchet]

Sideswipe: Whoa, we got us a little Mexican standoff!

Ironhide: Weapons down!

Sideswipe: And we'll let you escape with your dignity!

[at the Lincoln Memorial]

Starscream: Oh, my master, such a brilliant scheme! So when Sentinel left Cybertron, it was to defect!

Megatron: He was meant to rendezvous with me here on Earth, before fate waylaid us both. The only way to revive him: we needed Prime and his Matrix.

[blasts the Lincoln statue]

Starscream: Excellent strategy!

Igor: [chomping Lincoln's head] Mine! Mine!

Starscream: So, he is now your partner.

Megatron: He is my greatest triumph.

Starscream: So impressive!

Megatron: Here we are. Fight us NOW.

Sentinel Prime: You're lucky, I didn't kill you when I had the chance.

Optimus Prime: ...it's not over.

Wheelie: Sammy, it's a trap!

Robert Epps: I still got my NEST friends out there. I'm a round 'em up, we'll find your girlfriend and we're gonna bring this guy in.

Sam Witwicky: Why are you helping me?

Robert Epps: 'Cause that asshole killed my friends too.

Sam Witwicky: I saw your ship explode!

Leadfoot: The SHIP! We were never ON the ship! We designed the damn thing, didn't we?

Carly Miller: Do you want this?

Dylan: I want to survive! You think I wanted this? I inherited a client, either I deliver good or I end up iced!

[a coffee cup hits Shockwave on the head. He looks up, and sees NEST in the skyscraper]

Robert Epps: The evil thing's looking at me!

[Shockwave summons the Driller]

Robert Epps: And it even got an ugly Decepticon with it!

Sam Witwicky: Dylan, don't do this! You can't do this!

Dylan: There's only one future for me!

[Cybertron looms above Chicago]

Megatron: Cybertron... you are saved, at last.

[Carly approaches Megatron]

Megatron: Oh, have you come to surrender?

Carly Miller: Was it all worth it?

Megatron: Obviously!

Carly Miller: All your work to bring Sentinel back, and now clearly he has all the power! It's actually almost tragic!

Megatron: YOU DARE LECTURE ME, SLAVE?

Carly Miller: Your Decepticons finally conquering this planet, and yet their leader won't be you!

Megatron: It will be me! It will always be me!

Carly Miller: In any minute now you'll be nothing but Sentinel's bitch!

[Megatron snarls and rises]

[Bumblebee drops some sprockets]

Carly Miller: Oooh, rings!

[Bumblebee plays wedding chimes]

Carly Miller: I love this car!

Sam Witwicky: Yeah, but Bee. you gotta slow it down. You gotta slow way down, ok?

Bumblebee: [through his radio] "I'm just trying to help out."

Ratchet: [to Bumblebee] You fought bravely.

Sam Witwicky: You love it, don't you? I'm just your American boytoy!

Carly Miller: [laughs] I love a boytoy.

Sam Witwicky: Do you know how demoralizing it is that I've saved the world twice and still be groveling for a job?

Carly Miller: People don't know that you've saved the world Sam, I mean I do, I believe you.

Sam Witwicky: Government knows, I mean they could hook me up with a job right here in DC. I should be working with the Autobots otherwise, it's not fair.

Wheelie: [coming in out of the rain] Fricking shortin' my circuits out here! Its inhumane is what it is, making us live in a box on a balcony right next to a beast, like a common animal!

Sam Witwicky: Stop, OK? You and your creepy sidekick, you can't be in here without permission.

Wheelie: According to who, Miss blondie blond?

[climbs on the dog]

Wheelie: Giddy up little doggie!

Wheelie: Ya' know Sam, i don't know about moving in with this chick. What if she dumps us like the last girl?

Brains: She was mean. Didn't like her.

Wheelie: Us guys gotta stick together

Brains: [Starts singing] We are family!

Sam Witwicky: No, we're not family. You're a political refugee and I have finally found someone who appreciates me for me.

Brains: Well you tell her that we're not your pets and we're not your toys, all right, we're an advanced genius alien race just looking for a home!

Judy Witwicky: Sam, I think for a job interview that you should wear real pants.

Sam Witwicky: I think for life you should wear real pants.

Judy Witwicky: [Sees Sam's new car] Oh, what... what happened to Bumblebee?

Sam Witwicky: He's off on his missions.

Ron Witwicky: Oh, your CAR has a job huh?

Judy Witwicky: What does it change into?

Sam Witwicky: It doesn't change into anything. It's a collectors item, I got it for a steal. It just needs a little work, trust me.

Judy Witwicky: Oh no, I think it's darling. It reminds me a lot of Bumblebee... if Bumblebee were a sad piece of shit.

Charlotte Mearing: CIA's up my ass about this mystery raid in the Middle East. So it's time to come clean. Was a unit involved?

Lennox: Uh, I'm not sure ma'am.

Charlotte Mearing: As director of National Intelligence, I'm a really big fan of intelligent answers.

Lennox: I really can't tell you definitively. These Autobots are like teenage kids, they like to sneak out of the house every once in a while.

Starscream: Oh, my poor master. How it pains me to see you so wounded, so weak...

Megatron: Spare me, you gaseous sycophant! You know what you are told, which is nothing!

Sam Witwicky: The Autobots are off saving the world and I've organized four binders.

Bruce Brazos: Come on people! Yes a workmate died but looking out the window is not going to bring him back! The man was depressed. You can keep watching him but his not getting up, you all read Humpty Dumpty.

Sam Witwicky: We got an emergency, you gotta get Colonel Lennox out here. I'm reporting Decepticons, Deceptions are back, you gotta open that gate right now.

NEST Guard: Easy sir, this is Heath and Human services.

Sam Witwicky: Right packing M4's! What are you protecting? Colostomy bags? Bed pans? Throat lozenges? Where'd you get that hat from? Nursing school? So your nurses and foot powder protectors, fantastic!

Sam Witwicky: Come here. Come here!

Bumblebee: [Through radio] Come on! Sam.

Sam Witwicky: What is your deal, huh? I know your Black Op stuff is important to you and i'm not trying to diminish it or guilt trip you or anything, I just never see you anymore! You can't come to the garage and hang out just one night?

Bumblebee: Sam, that makes me feel bad.

Sam Witwicky: Well I hope you feel bad, you should feel bad look at the jalopy i'm driving know I feel bad every single day!

Simmons: Tell Megatron, let's tango!

Sentinel Prime: So majestic and peaceful, this planet. Unlike the final days on Cybertron.

Optimus Prime: I've wondered what might have been, if you had fought the final battle instead of me.

Sentinel Prime: Never mourn the past, young warrior. Thanks to you, our race survives.

Optimus Prime: [offers the Matrix to Sentinel] You were our leader, Sentinel. it is your right to lead us again.

Sentinel Prime: In a world I do not know, I am no longer your teacher, Optimus, you are mine.

Simmons: We've go to beak this case down. What we have here, is an astronaut epidemic.

[Points to different photos in turn]

Simmons: MIA, dead, died in a car accident, killed, DOA, car death... it's like these guys can't drive, they can fly into outer space but they can't drive a car.

[Bumblebee is startled by Carly and crashes into the ceiling light]

Brains: Oh, that was smooth Bumblebee!

Bumblebee: Missed it by that much!

[Hides face embarrassed]

Charlotte Mearing: Mr Witwicky, I thought I made it clear to you that I did not want you calling this phone...

Sam Witwicky: Listen, the whole thing has been a set-up since the beginning! The Decepticons wanted Optimus to find Sentinel because he was the only one who could revive him.

Charlotte Mearing: But we have the space bridge...

Sam Witwicky: Mearing, you have five pillars - I just learned that they have hundreds! You're doing exactly what they wanted you to do! What do you need me to say to you? The Decepticons are coming for Sentinel Prime!

Optimus Prime: Why, Sentinel? Why?

Sentinel Prime: For Cyberton! For our home! What war destroyed, we can rebuild - but only if we join with the Decepticons!

Optimus Prime: No, it's not the only way! This is our home, we must defend the humans!

Sentinel Prime: So lost you are, Optimus. On Cybertron we were gods, and here they call us machines! Let the humans serve us, or perish!

Charlotte Mearing: These guys are the Wreckers. They take care of the Xantium. We don't let them off the base much cause they're assholes.

Optimus Prime: What your leaders say is true. This was all my fault, I told them whom to trust. I was so wrong.

Sam Witwicky: That doesn't make it your fault, it just makes you human for a change.

Optimus Prime: Remember this: you may lose you faith in us but never in yourselves.

Sam Witwicky: I need to know how your going to fight back. I know there's a strategy, I know your coming back with reinforcements, something. I know there's a plan. You can tell me, no other human will ever know.

Optimus Prime: There is no plan.

Sam Witwicky: If we just do what they want, how are we ever going to live with ourselves?

Optimus Prime: You are my friend Sam, you always will be. But your leaders have spoken. From here the fight will be your own.

Simmons: Years from now they're going to ask us: where were you when they took over the planet? We're gonna say: we stood by and watched.

Simmons: Excuse me, excuse me, It doesn't make sense! Can't we get any eyes in there at all?

Charlotte Mearing: They keep shooting down our drones.

General Morshower: They want us blind. But we do have a couple of mini-drones we're going to try.

Simmons: Well, whoever's manning these UAV drones, can we try to redirect them toward Trump Tower? The kid, Witwicky, was on his way to Chicago. Said some point man, human op is there, for the Decepticons! Listen, if I know anything I know this: that kid is an alien bad news magnet!

Robert Epps: [seeing destroyed Chicago] My god. We came here to find her in the middle of all of that?

Epps Team 'Stone': Are we really going out there Epps?

Eddie: I'm not going in there!

Robert Epps: No one's going in.

Sam Witwicky: I am. With or without you, I'll find her.

Robert Epps: You're going to get yourself killed Sam! Is that what you want? Is that what you want, you came all the way out here to get yourself killed? Listen to what I'm saying!

Sam Witwicky: She's here because of me, do you understand?

Robert Epps: Listen, if you go in this building, that's if she's still alive, there's no way you're going to be able to reach her!

Sam Witwicky: What do you suggest I do?

Robert Epps: It's over. I'm sorry, but it's over.

Optimus Prime: Your leaders will now understand: Decepticons will never leave your planet alone. And we needed them to believe we had gone. For today, in the name of freedom, we take the battle to them!

Sam Witwicky: I saw your ship blow up!

Roadbuster: The ship? We were never IN the ship! We designed the damn thing, didn't we?

Leadfoot: We were hidden in the first booster rocket to separate, splashed down back in the Atlantic just as planned. We ain't going nowhere!

Brains: Yeah, no one's exiling us!

Wheelie: The Autobots are staying right here. We going to help you win this war!

Robert Epps: [about Shockwave] That is one scary ass Decepticon!

Robert Epps: Why do the Decepticons always get the good shit? We about to be eaten people!

Lennox: Epps! Epps, I've been looking for your ass! How you doing?

Robert Epps: Your time is whack! Even worse, we can't get across the river to that building and the Autobots are upstairs surrounded.

Wheelie: We're in the heart of their ship. Lets give em a little ride.

Brains: Oh we gonna screw this ship up!

Dylan: Prisoners? You're keeping prisoners?

Soundwave: Yeesss...

Dylan: You need to teach them about respect! This was all business, but now it's all personal, do you understand me?

Soundwave: [laughs] I understand. No prisoners, only trophies!

[grabs Que]

Soundwave: You first!

Que: Wait! We surrender! Why don't we just settle this like good chaps...

[Soundwave shoots Que]

Optimus Prime: Get down here, Sentinel!

Sentinel Prime: [draws his lance] Optimus, you forget your place!

[jumps down to meet Optimus]

Sentinel Prime: I bring you Cybertron, your home, and still you choose humanity!

Optimus Prime: You were the one who taught me freedom is everyone's right!

Sentinel Prime: I will re-trigger that pillar!

Optimus Prime: Then you'll have to go through me!

Carly Spencer: I love you.

Sam Witwicky: I love you. You're the only thing I need in this world and I'll do anything to make it up to you. I promise.

Carly Spencer: I'm going to hold you to that. Just never let me go.

Sam Witwicky: Promise.

Jerry Wang: [yelling at Sam Witwicky] This is code Pink! As in Pink Floyd! As in Dark Side of the Moon! As in 1972!

[Sentinel attacks NEST base]

Charlotte Mearing: Sentinel, stop this!

Sentinel Prime: I am a Prime, I do not answer to the likes of you. Return what belongs to me!

[Optimus arrives at NEST]

Charlotte Mearing: Take a good look, Optimus! This is all your fault!

Dylan: I liaise.

Roadbuster: Wreckers, kill it!

Optimus Prime: I'm coming to get you!

[flies through the Driller]

Que: This gun is the perfect invention Ironhide.

Sam Witwicky: [Upset as it seems Bruce won't hire him for the job he wants] I've saved your life twice. I can't tell you how, but you are still alive because of me.

[first lines]

Optimus Prime: We were once a peaceful race of intelligent mechanical beings. But then came the war, between the Autobots that fought for freedom and the Decepticons that dreamt of tyranny. Overmatched and outnumbered, our defeat was all but certain. But in the war's final days, one Autobot ship escaped the battle. It was carrying a secret cargo which would have changed our planet's fate. A desperate mission, our final hope...

[the Ark flies from Cybertron into space... and is gunned down]

Optimus Prime: A hope that vanished.

[last lines]

Optimus Prime: In any war, there are calms between the storms. There will be days when we lose faith, days when our allies turn against us. But the day will never come, that we forsake this planet and its people. For I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message to the universe: We are here. We are home.

Optimus Prime: They're surrounding the city to make a fortress so that no one can see what their up to inside. Our only chance is the element of surprise.

Sam Witwicky: [looks at the Decepticon airship] I think I know where to look. Can you fly this thing?

[Bumblebee wiggles his fingers]

Sam Witwicky: What is that? So-so piloting?

Bumblebee: Uh-huh!

Dylan: If you want to survive a war, do business with the side that's gonna win.

Sentinel Prime: I will overlook your condescending tone if you understand the gravity of mine.

Megatron: The city is secured. The humans cannot stop us!

Sentinel Prime: As the afternoon falls, the rest of the pillars will reach their launch position.

Megatron: This is the victory I've promised you so many years ago where we rebuild Cybertron together.

Sentinel Prime: [grabs Megatron] I have gained to work with you that our planet may survive! I will never work FOR you! And you'll be wise to remember the difference.

Check out quotes from the first Transformers movie, and also quotes from Revenge of the Fallen.

Prime and The Chief Double Team a Moa

2011-01-23T17:38:00.000+13:00

It would simply be rude of a website called The Optimus Prime Experiment to not post this picture of the time Optimus Prime and the Master Chief teamed up to destroy a moa.

Perhaps this is why moa are extinct in New Zealand? It's not because the Maori ate them, it was because of an intergalactic battle between giant robots, genetically engineers soldiers and birds that KFC only wish it could sell through the drive in!

This image was the result of a competition that Bungie has been running, check out more in the Bungie Weekley Update...

Why did Bungie trademark 'Dead Orbit'?

2011-01-13T22:40:00.004+13:00

Why did Bungie trademark 'Dead Orbit'? Well, I can't actually tell you, only surmise...

The interwebs are all a buzz with the news that Bungie have trade marked a few certain phrases. Why the abuzz? It could mean they are in the process of firm up the names and whatnot of the new IP they have been so secretly working on.

The Four trademarks and their corresponding domains were registered: Osiris, New Monarchy, Seven Seraphs and Dead Orbit.

Osiris is popularly known as the Egyptian god of the Underworld and Seraphs are one of the highest choirs of angels in the Christian and Judaic system of beliefs.

Bungie’s games often include religious themes and motifs, as oft demonstrated by the theocratic Covenant coalition of the Halo series so it shouldn't surprise anyone that these terms are possibly be going to be used in the new IP that Bungie are working on for their new publisher, Activision.

I doubt Dead Orbit will be the name of the game, its sounds a lil too corny and similar to Dead Space.

Sadly this development doesn't give us any clue as to what Bungie Aerospace means, if any thing!

So what do you think these copyright / trade marked names represent?

Originally published on Gears of Halo. Gears of Halo is awesome.

Jimmy's new site: Gears of Halo

2011-01-12T11:58:00.001+13:00

Wanna makeout?

So regular readers may have noticed I'm a bit of a Halo fan and that I've been neglecting The Optimus Prime Experiment to blog at Halo Reach Game News - well that site has undergone a little bit of a change.

Starting with a new name. HRGN is now officially 'Gears of Halo' - a title designed to firmly focus the attention on what this blog is about - Xbox gaming!

The focus will still be on all things related to the Halo universe, especially including whatever ever 343 Industries come up with - a remake of Halo: CE with Kinect anyone?

Whatever trick Bungie has up their sleeve, you can be sure that Gears of Halo will be on the case when it's revealed. Bungie Aerospace perhaps?

Gears of War 3 is going to be a big game in 2011 so I'll be keeping a close eye on that too. Then of course there will have to be some news and discussion on Mass Effect 3 (I'm picking this to be the game of the year already!).

In the meantime check out four recent posts:

What we know about Gears of War 3?

Anya Stroud Photo Essay

Watch Mass Effect 3 Trailer

How to get into the GOW3 multiplayer beta!