Showing posts with label Manatee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Manatee. Show all posts

This is where the Manatee is

giraffe tanzaire

Doug and Fran have headed off to do volunteer work in Tanzaire. This is their reward. Check out The Mantee's blog, This Aint No Toto Song!

Not that I'd want to see a giraffe being eaten by a lion but seeing this beast reminds me to remind you to check out my Animals Eating Animals website. I swear no giraffes have been hurt in the making of the site...but maybe a zebra or three got ate up by a lioness.

Chucky and the Moody Coops: We do weddings

chucky and the mood coops
So like the Moody Coops proudly supported Chucky at his and Deb's Wedding. I think we played okay - we'd practiced heaps.

Was a bit nervous and nearly missed the intro queue but it was pretty fun to rock out at the end. Not bad for my first 'live' performance I reckon. Had heaps of fun with the players, before, during and at the after match function!! Props to Manatee for a great speech.

I am scared that the guy on the right appears to have semblance in looks to Quentin Taratino...

Photo: SAS

Its too late, tonight

So I was just listening to the ipod and Four Season's in One Day by Crowded House came on. And I smiled because Bono beautifully butchered it into an early song (Elevation was it?). He missed the melody or something but the crowd part I was in cheered and laughed at the same time. Nothing like a rock star sucking up to his faithful!

And all this reminded me I forgot to ask in the last post - did anyone else notice Bono come into early for a verse during One? I thought it was only me but the Manatee thought so - like the Stones did in Easter when Mick Jagger missed a cue, the band played around it and it sounded sweet - a testament to good musos everywhere.

Amusing question from Charlie Chicken after the gig, "What was the name of the song with the Kite?"

Hmm guess I'm still buzzing.

P.S. Go fuck yourself Tom Cardy.


According to blogger this is my 701st post. I'm catching u DPF!

Random Play

So like tupaware parties what ever happened to them which reminds me of seinfeld lamp shades why would you put a shade on a lamp didn't you need light hi scott the Manatee appears to have gone all dodo and finally become extinct Oh well, his star shone bright like a carwreck down a cliff for a time so Inzaman got off pretty fucking light didn't he 4 matches captains with slower over rates have got more match bans Bulls on Parade that had a good riff didn't it got the new Audislave album I give it two thumbs up ie its better than other stuff o and some advice if at the vid store and ur beta half suggests getting out a film with bette mildler and shelly long in it one word run run for your life you jogger you this public service anounce ment was bought to you by shortland street, the xbox 360 and bill gates.

If you wannabe be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.

Rockstar Supernova Final. Didn't watch it and don't really care. But I was chatting with Charlie Chicken and other Chums about the show. They were all gagging about it. At least we all shared a distinct distain for Dave Navarro. The question arose about the next season. Who would it be? What faded hack rock stars wannabe famous again? (Clarke was NEVER a rockstar worthy of the title – Ed). We talked about supergroups – though not everyone's cup of tea - Audioslave got it together and Velvet Revolver showed some slithery muscle on 'Contraband'.
I suggested Crosby/Stills/Nash/Young as the best ever supergroup but as they say if you can remember the 60s you weren't around. Charlie C. thought STP should reform with him on singing duties and writing all the material.   DJ Rano smiled sweetly and asked if he could put on his Manhatten Transfer vinyl. The Manatee muttered something about The Wiggles being on high rotate in Petone. Things then got confused and crashed when Charlie put on some Dave Matthews Band ...but I have digressed - to solve the riddle of who will front Rockstar's next season I called  James Dean and he said that Vicky Pollard had heard through George Micheal who got it from a cop in a loo somewhere that The Travelling Wilburys , who are desperately trying for success after the death of lead singer Roy Orbison, will front.


Jimmy Jangles adds man points to his Man Card

So remember how I blogged how the Manatee paid an electrician to change a light bulb? Well the washing machine decided to commit some form of hurry curry after Jay Bee's 16th wash this week. It refused to drain the water after the cycle.

Well I refuse to pay for a fix it man to come round till I have had a chance to make sure it is completely fucked.

So the washing machine is full of water on the top floor of a 2 story house. I shoplifted a hose from the Warehouse ($8.99, would have been a bargain!) and use it to siphon the water out the window. Who knew gravity could be so helpful? (Newton - Ed)

Then I up-ended the washer and removed the panel. And there was a fucking green flannel in there! How the hell it got in there, only the God of Washers and Plungers knows. The flanel had decided it was in love with the spinny thing attached to pump thingy.

Careful adherence to the theory of 'if it doubt give it clout' freed the part. The 17th, 18th, 19th, and 20th washes of the week quickly followed. The universe was quickly restored to its normal working order.

For my troubles I got a freshly made batch of cheese scones... pay for a lightbulb change indeed.

They should have combined Point Break and Walk the Line

At a party at the Manatees on Saturday there was a lively discussion of wether the movie 'Walk the Line' about Johnny Cash and Co. was any good or not. It is clearly a slow day in Mantee Land because the Manatee himself has sent in a guest blog on the subject. So for the first and probably only time, a guest post by the Manatee.
They should have combined Point Break and Walk the Line

'Walk the Breaker'

Johnny Utah a disillusioned country singer infiltrates the dead musician's brothers bank robbing surfing gang. He falls under the spell of Boodie Carter a mysterious surfing guru played by Reece Witherspoon.

Gary Busey plays his manager. Johnny gets addicted to riding the waves and lets Boodie crowd surf the super country western event in Australia to oblivion. The End

Or Walk the Line and Total Recall 'Total Line Dancing'

Johnny Quaid a disillusioned country singer doing GIS on Mars remembers he is a secret agent. Sharon Stone plays June Carter the romantic interest who is also a pyschotic planted actress.

Cue lots of snappy one liners in a thick austrian accent 'Dat explosion was Folsom Prison Ka-blue-ey!!'

'You are falling down in a ring of fire ah ha ha'
The End.

Or Walk the line and Waynes World

'I can sing better than Johnny Cash....not.'

or Walk the line and Thriller

'Cos this is night and no ones gonna save you from the singing about to strike'

Or Walk the Line and Ray. Jamie Fox would just slap Joacquin Phoenix in the face and then walk off the set. The end.

It gets worse...

The Manatee just reported his ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands.
Police reckon that he topped himself.

Kayne West wears girl's blouses

So me, JB, The Manatee, Levi et al attended King Kong at the Embassy last night. I know everyone has bloged about this beast of a movie but now its my turn.

Summary: Set in 2345, Ann Darrow crashlands on Mars to find green aliens are living in harmony with peace loving mung beans. They fix her ship and give her some cake. The End.

Erm, not exactly like that but the point is that it is sent in this most unbelievable world where Weta are scary and dinosaurs are second in command to one phat gorrilla.

This movie is freakin scary, funny and exhilirating all at once. Jaybee broke three bones in my hand from crunchng it tight at various times. The highlight for me was the t rex (pl.) vs Kong. A never ending rumble in the jungle. Bonecrusher would be a suitable nickname for the hairy back. The cooks death by giant worm was pretty cool too - trademark jackson gore.

This movie makes Jurrasic Park look like a stale cake walk in which you win some mouldly bannacake. Interestingly, I didn't spy one bannana in the whole movie but I spied with my 20/20 eye some subtle references in there such as the box in the cargo hold saying 'Sumatran Rat Monkey' which I think refs Braindead.

The climatic assault on the atop the empire statebuilding was pretty thrilling. When Kong jumped and smashed a pesky plane I cheered. When they shot him in the back I jeered. All this while, the women folk checked that their tear ducts were still working.....beautiful.


So The Manatee woke me with a revenge wakeup call for ringing him at 1am. Got up and headed to Fidels where the Usual Suspects greeted me with bleary eyes that were screaming for coffee. Turtle talked about snakes.

Then we went and spent our ready readies at the Time Out arcade. Who knew Pod Racing was sooo addictive?

That's it. Get back to work!


So we'll skip the part where I spent 2 hours cleaning the flat, collect my 200 dollars for passing Go and heading to the drinkies chez moi.

In what turned out to be a high school reunion of sorts the us lads sunk a few beers, spun a few yarns and had a merry old time - I guess this is one of those had to be there things. Aye manatee?

Headed off to Havana Bar - too full, couldn't be assed waiting in the line. Went to JJ's - boring. Found a G.L.L. at Tupelos and we were away.

My simile of the evening was "Come like a train". I'll leave the meaning of that to your imaginations.

Mountain Warriors

Me, Bert and Fran Fine and a Manatee, six hours into our Tongariro Crossing trip.

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The Silence of the Manatee

So there was a lil party at Jimmy Jangles’ pad on Saturday. And by little I mean it took 17 years to clean the place on Sunday. 3 rubbish bags full of beer, gin and other glass entities are now neatly dumped out the back. It was E’s leaving party for his OE so the usual suspects and more turned up. We even had a guy from Sesame Street turn up….Hey Bert!

The dude that thought it would be funny to casually swing an axe around in the middle of a crowded room turned out to be quite the comedian… if my lemonade addled memory served me correctly the following exchange was kinda funny.

Crazy Guy (with sarcasm): Dude, you have more pick-up lines than the Pope.

The Manatee: Umm the Pope’s dead bro.

Crazy Guy: Yeah.

Cue Manatee reduced to tears. Or was he just wet because I accidentally spilled a gin and tonic on him when he was break dancing. I can hardly recall.

The Trip (extended disco remix)

JJ and Mount Ngarahoe

Me and the Kids decided it might be fun to go for a hike so we piled into the cars and headed to Tongariro National Park to do the 19 km hike commonly known as the Tongariro Crossing. Here's a quick write up:


Us crazy kids headed off in two cars shortly after 7ish. Destination: National Park.

Me and Hey Bert! in the back, The SAS and a TiJuana stray upfront in car one, The Manatee, E, Fran Fine (the other one!) and Ms M in the other. The Speights was strictly rationed for me and Bert because I’d give you a beer but I’ve only got six.

NE ways the four hours of road trippin’ with my allies consisted of J5, FHM, Speights, V, insulting txt messages, Manic Street Preachers and a lil bit of chit chat about whom is doing what to whomever….

Arrive at Back packers sans beer. There is no equivalent of the Feathers in sight. This is not good. Not to worry the Manatee kept us well entertained…


Cut to 6.30am. Raw Spaghetti for breakfast and off 2 the mountains. Destination: Tongariro crossing.

The Fellowship started out a happy crew, eager to break on thru to the other side. A happy jaunt across the country side? A stroll through the park? Not quite.

Early on we thought we saw Gollum once, but it was just a manatee out of water. Eating a raw chicken. Go figure.

We come to the first lil hill after about an hour. Its straight up and it aint no use complaining. But everyone did. My lungs put in for a transfer and my knees demanded surgery. Wicked view at the top. Mordor in all its glory. Whatever.

Through a moon like crater and up the Ridge. That was one mean mother. Very strong cold winds made for a freaky time for some of the less experienced of the Fellowship. It was quite testing for some of em but I just loved it. Nothing like frezzing yo’ ass off for a challenge. Our trial was well rewarded with perfect views of Mt Ngarahoe, and the Emerald Lakes. Freakin Brilliant.

The crazy thing about this whole trip was all the god dam tourists. Not that there’s any thing wrong with them - it was the way they approached the trip. Take for example the English Tourists. A certain operator had clearly sold them the day trip package as a sweet jaunt to see a pretty lake. About 40 (?) young pommies turned up in jeans and sandals for an 8 hour hike. Freakin ridiculous. The tourist operator that let them go was taking a risk. If it had of rained when it was tough going many of that lot would all have had hypothermia in 20 mins. Seriously, these guys were under prepared for the trip.

NE way the otherside was all sun, sun, sun and fun, fun, fun so they were lucky. But I rant too much.

LSS made it to the otherside by 4pm. Great vistas all round. A bus picked us up and took us to our lonely cars. I found 2 speights under the seat. Bert and Eye celebrate. Us men deserved a DB. Or not. Who drinks DB? I'd give you a beer but I've only got two.

We hot footed it (or is that hot tired) to Taupo. Checked in at a backpackers and went to De Bretts Hot pools for a well earned soak. Absolute Bliss. Just the ticket for our heavy legs.

Then off to dinner at erm.. Cob and Co… Oh the shame! Nah we just wanted a cheap meal before we hit town. I had the roast beef and I think I ate it in 4 mins. Nothing like a well earned meal!

So to town it was. Or not. I crashed big time after dinner. 3 beers in the evening and I was done. Home asleep by 10ish.

Sun – Breakfast on the Taupo lake front and then the big old drive back to Wellington.

Thanks to the SAS for all the organising. And stuff.

And there endeth the story.

I’ll post some photos later.

Update: Did the Tongariro trip again in 2011, still good, and still handsome!

War is Peace

So I'm in the middle of reading George Orwell's 1984. This is the story of Winston Smith and Big Brother. Its what suppsoedly inspires the 'reality' tv show Big Brother for. In truth that's money but whatever.

In a nutshell its the story of one man struggle against the oppressive ruling Party to which he belongs. Its an attack on communism and a search for personal freedom. The lives of the people are run and dictated to by means of propanda, surveillance, torture and maxims like War is Peace. Or Freedom is Oppression. I think I just made that one up, but it sounds Orwellian as they say.

I'm up to where Winston is in Room 101 and he's being tortured. Its a brilliant piece of writing. By that I mean not only are the concepts original* and relevant to life but the style of writing its top notch.

Orwell has something to say about humans and life and how we live it on everypage. If you're into personal freedoms this could be the book for you.

Back in third form at High School (all those years ago) we were force fed Animal Farm by Orwell. I remember it being a great story about pigs.** March you fuckers! (Ok on a reread no one will get that ref - its to Nine Inch Nails ....) I fear I'll always remember that the Raven/Black Bird was a symbol of religion and it flew away when things got tough and corrupted and absolutely corrupted.

I wonder how the Raven will fly now that the Pope John Paul has been given the sacrament of Last Rites.

*To me anyway
** Hey Manatee - Remember Pig Power and the Pig Party?????

The Manatee

My friends know me too well, The Manatee tried to write a summary of this blog in twenty words or less:

"Fuk I need a drink. I would sell my greasy soul for a drink. Crickets been dull too. Horrses still racing. Thats my blog."

So he can't count nor spell, but cut him some slack will ya? He is an endangered species after all.

The Coriolis Effect

Been listening to Bob Dylan today ... some ballad about a hurricane. Palleaassee, who sings about Hurricanes? They're just so destructive ( Florida NE 1?)... all those homes destroyed by hurricanes... crikey maybe Bob should sing about something safer like a ...tambourine.

Had a great night out (in) at The Manatee and his wife's place last night. The usual suspects were there. After drinking Steinlagers at the Feathers I switched to Speights. 'They' say 'if u drink Speights, you lose your mates' but that aint true. We all know it means Superior Piss Enjoyed In Great Hotels Throughout Southland. Too random for ya?

Test cricket - So Micheal Clark and Gilly are giving the Black Caps a bit of a pasting ... bout time the Aussie Juggernaut switched on... Stoked Shrek got a century yesterday. Is he really the new Chris Cairns? Maybe if his bowling gets a lil bit better...

New U2 album out on Monday. Wicked.

The administration of life

So I promised a poem or 2.

This was inspired by myfriend the The Manatee.

Enjoy ... Or not.


The administration of life

So weary
So tired
Of an existance
Gone dreary

The administration of life has got me down

Life lies listless
Life lies

I smile upside down
Hands heavy
Battery Flat
Head not thinking clearly
Out for the count
Bloody on the canvass matt.

The beaucracy of life has got me down

Luke warm.
My feculent frown

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