Jimmy Jangles is Best Friends Forever with Optimus Prime. Sucks to be you, Starscream fan.

Mar 12, 2012

Rampancy: What does it mean for Halo 4?



This must be the angry Cortana.....

What is Rampancy in Halo? Does Cortana have it? How long does it last?


We don't know much about Halo 4 but we do know one thing about  Cortana  and that she's going to suffer the fate of many an Artificial Intelligence in the Halo universe, Rampancy. 343 Industries lead maestro Frank O'Conner confirmed this very soon after Halo 4 was announced.

 Frank O'Conner has described rampancy as a condition that affects older A.I's that leads to the A.I. "thinking itself to death".

Let's face it, Cortana had a pretty rough Halo 3. She was hog-tied and brainwashed in some strange fashion by the gravemind which strongly hinted at some stage of rampancy but came through it by the end of the brilliant Halo 3, finishing up floating in space with the Master Chief.

But what is it really, what happens and is there a cure? We don't want our blued angel Cortana to die right? After all, she and the Chief are supposed to settle down and have a couple cyber kids.....

A more complicated definition or description of rampancy is that for so called 'smart' A.I.'s the condition of rampancy is an unavoidable flaw inherent in them from their creation. Being based on the neural patterns of a human being (such as Cortana being modeled on the brain of Doctor Catherine Halsey), and they have a limited lifespan of around seven years. Around this time their memory maps become dangerously interconnected and endless feedback loops may occur which can be fatal to the rampant A.I.

Near that 7 year period, an AI begins to use more and more of its computer power 'thinking' about things, this in turn leads to muddled thinking and conclusions, general confusion and a devastating inability to perform their tasks - you wouldn't want a rampant A.I. to be in charge of a Halo installation for instance. Oh wait, someone has been guilty of that before.

The Halo Legends short film Origins, appears to have suggested that Cortana indeed fell into rampancy. In the film Cortana displays some characteristics that might be indications of rampancy including her hologram flickering, trying to communicate with John-117 despite him being in cryo-sleep, recounting the history of the galaxy, which gets continuously more inaccurate to the point where events being recalled simply did not happen. Maybe she had too many martinis at lunch?

There are four known stages of rampancy:

Melancholia: an AI in the melancholia stage behaves in a manner associated with clinical depression. They can be considered to be apathetic and uninterested in the world around it.

Anger: a more obvious stage of rampancy, it's one where their actions can cause harm to the people around them. Think "Open the pod bay doors Hal" as an example. The rampant A.I. at this stage might try to break its programming restraints. 

Jealousy: Following their manic angry stage, the Artificial Intelligence will take a course of action to attempt to to grow and develop as a person. Assimilation of new data is the key focus so they need lots of data stores - thus only A.I.s with access to large networks or systems develop through this stage. I presume when the data set becomes finite, that's the end of the line for the A.I.

Metastability: A supposed theoretical fourth stage of rampancy, it is where the A.I. has progressed to be a "person." In the Halo cannon, only two A.I.s are said to have reached this status. 05-032 Mendicant Bias was the first and Cortana possibly the last (her recovery from the effects of the Grave Mind suggests she is stable, however the Origins film perhaps suggests otherwise). 


One can only speculate how Cortana will fare in Halo 4. If Frankie is talking about rampancy we can assume it will have some kind of fairly important role in the campaign - it may feature as a plot where her rampancy must be cured to allow the Chief to do what ever he needs to do. Maybe Cortana has never truly been rampant and her 'conditioning' by the Gravemind was simply an insight to the the possibilities of rampancy. 

Time will tell but let's hope it's with less Elliot and more 117.


Originally published on Gears of Halo as 'What is Rampancy in Halo? Does Cortana have it?'

Feb 17, 2012

Things I heard and learnt at Webstock

Webstock. It's where your inner geek goes to lean how to make your outer geek shine. It's a conference to celebrate the wonders of the internet, design and creativity. It's a chance to reflect on and hone some of your l33t skills.

My fabulous employer kindly sent me to broaden my horizons but instead I found myself contemplating fruit salads, pelicans, the ethics of telling stories about apartheid and laughing at terrible sheep jokes from The Oatmeal himself.

You know how if you're at the movies or a speech given by the Prime Minister and you whip out your ipad to tweet about what you had at lunch and it's considered rude? At Webstock, the reverse is true. I think it's considered rude if you are not on twitter heaping praise or spitting on the speaker via the internet! Check out Twitter's #webstock hashtag for what I mean.

As a first time Webstock attendee, I was very impressed with how well the conference has been run which is made so so by the obvious enthusiasm and commitment these good people have to making the NZ interwebs a happier place to surf.

Day One


Things I heard:
  • "Those that cannot imagine the future are doomed to fuck it up." Lauren Buekes (buy her book, Zoo City)
  • "People are slugs" Amy Hoy
  • "Google Analytics is a great tool, so listen while I teach you to suck eggs. Hey do you 850 experts in the tech industry who paid $1400 bucks to attend Webstock know what a KPI is?" Google Analytics dude who may have slightly misread his audience.
  • "The dinosaurs died out because they didn't have a space program." Jeremy Keith
Things I learnt:
  • Pelicans can see magnets or something. 
  • Think about the flow.
  • Iterative Design can lead to success. 
  • The internet loves cats. Incorporate them into your HTML coding. 
  • Web coding requires standards or we're fucked.
  • As good carpenters make good tools, good websites should make good artifacts
  • While you can always cash in now with an IPO, a well thought out deliberate growth strategy may personally reward you more. 
  • You'll hate yourself if you over sell the advertising on your site
  • You've probably made it if you can afford to no longer need to use an alarm clock.
  • You can channel The People's fear into money.
Day Two


Things I heard:

"I couldn't find a picture of him masterbating in public" - Gabriella Coleman
"Quality is the best business plan - make something that you love and think is beautiful and it will pay off"
"Chase the vision not the money" Tony Hsieh, Zappos

Things I learnt:
  • Do it
  • Drop it
  • Delegate it
  • Defer it
  • Don't put energy into things you don't want more of
  • Pixar makes awesome movies
  • If you can’t measure it - you can’t manage it
  • The dude from Slashdot wishes he was Mark Zuckerberg
  • You get a little 'jitter' when you use great design.
  • Quality is the best business plan, make something that you love and think is beautiful and it will pay off
  • Don't hire unless they will fit your company culture
Of course, I have a tendency to deliberately mishear people, overlook obvious points and reject legitmate concerns so the above notes may not be exactly a true indication of events. Here's the full notes of what Webstock punters heard or thought they heard has been collaboratively written as a Google Doc or twenty.

Enjoy with my sincere compliments. Not complements. I wouldn't want Oatmeal to correct me by way of merciless mockery.

Feb 3, 2012

2012 Wellington Sevens Costumes, Cosplay and Outfits



Sevens Costumes, Cosplay and Outfits 2012

The Wellington Sevens. Every year, rugby players turn up from around the world to play the shortened version of the game. Wellington sees it as an opportunity to dress up in costume and go crazier than the Famous Five or Secret Seven ever could. Here’s some photos from the 2012 event and you can see they are just as good as last year’s costumed capers. 

A Taste of Asia

Babies. 

Brides to be looking for handsome players?

That's gotta hurt

Oh dear.
Pusssssayyyyy Patrol

Pash and Dash!

Tasty Pavlova Girls

She's going to kill you, Dick: Poison Ivy Cosplay

Pop Corn girls about to pop out

Where's um... Wally?

Smurftastic

Toy Soldiers on the lookout

Feb 1, 2012

What do I want in a video game?




What do I want in a video game?

I want to be let into the mystery.

I want heroes with a heart and I want heartless villains.

I want the ghost and the shells to scare the shit out of me.

I want time to let things settle in. I don’t want significant plot points to be rushed.

I want character vocals to be audible and clearly enunciated. I don’t what characters to be drowned out by musical effects.

I want DLC that doesn't suck. I don't want to have to download a million new maps a million times.

If I'm flying an X-Wing and I want to feel like I'm Luke Skywalker.

I want details. I want the facts. I want the easter eggs that make sense. I don’t want to have to wrestle an alligator and then fly it to the moon to find that egg though.

I want to be in on the joke but I don’t want the joke to be a lame reference to some dude’s girlfriend who once worked at Hooters.

I want game play to be intuitive. I want multiple options for solving problems. I suck at maths, I don’t want to have to place 5 litres of water using a random selection of clay pots to advance.

I want to have a big fucking shinny gun. In fact guns, lots of guns.

I want to be able to move my character with a fluid grace but if I jump 10 feet down, I want to feel that thud in my boots as I hit the turf.

I want beer.

I want it all and I want it now.

I want my car to have red racing stripes down the side because everybody knows red racing strips makes cars go faster and look cooler.

I want my heroines to have realistic breast sizes. Hulking giant orbs that defiantly object to the laws of physics belong in the comics shouldn't be in my video games.

I want backstory and backbeat.

I want the payoff after playing a campaign for 15 hours.

I want clues to solve it.

I want my character's nightmare to be so real I'm afraid to play with the lights off. 

I’m a worldly person. It’s OK to reference real world history. It’s OK to twist history with fiction.

I want video games to challenge my mind. It’s brilliant when they substitute Andrew Ryan with Ayn Rand and leave me to figure out where I should draw the line.

I want Issac, Arthur, Herbert and Dick all rolled into one.

What do you want?

Jan 31, 2012

Love Interruption Lyrics by Jack White


jack white shaving


Love Interruption Lyrics by Jack White

Love Interruption is Jack White’s first 'proper' single as a solo artist. Since his divorce from The White Stripes he has released a large volume of material but it has all been with other artists. His efforts with The Raconteurs and The Dead Weather were notable examples.

Love interruption is from Jack’s solo album, Blunderbuss.

Love Interruption’s lyrics are a strange tale of love involving desires to be stabbed and murdering mothers.

The b-side to Love Interruption is Machine Gun Silhouette.

Lyrics

I want love to, roll me over slowly
Stick a knife inside me and twist it all around
I want love to grab my fingers gently
slam them in a door way, put my face into the ground
I want love to, murder my own Mother
Take her off to somewhere, like hell or up above
I want love to, change my friends to enemies
Change my friends to enemies and show me, how it’s all my fault

I won’t let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me
I won’t let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me
I won’t let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me, anymore
I want love to, walk right up and bite me

Grab a hold of me and fight me, leave me dying on the ground
And I want love to spin my mouth wide open
And cover up my ears and never let me hear a sound
And I want love to forget that you offended me
Or how you have defended me
And everybody let me down
I want love to, change my friends to enemies
Change my friends to enemies and show how it’s all my fault

I won’t let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me
I won’t let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me
I won’t let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me, anymore

Jan 22, 2012

The Final Big Day Out


I learnt to play guitar because of this guy

Jimmy Jangles Reviews the Final Big Day Out

20th January, Mount Smart Stadium, Auckland, NZ

Well, the 2012 BDO turned out to be the final Auckland one as the economics of the event were no longer there. The immediate response to that was book better bands.....

This year the BDO organisers changed things up by reducing the main stages to only one with a second, smaller stage for 'in between' acts. This was an epic fail and totally ruined the feel and vibe of the event when compared to past years. Living End aside, there were no truly quality bands until  Kasabian, Soundgarden and Noel Gallagher made their marks on the day.

This is not to say other bands like Cage the Elephant weren't great, it was more of where's the bands like New Order, Placebo, Rage Against the Machine, Marilyn Manson and Nine Inch Nails on the set to support Soundgarden on the mainstage??

Here's my thoughts on the bands I saw:



  •  Soundgarden - loved them - they played a greatest hits package with a few less well known songs. Kym got all the right notes, Cornell was in fine form, that drummer from Pearl Jam was stonkin' and the bass was heavy as a rock to your head.
  • Kasabian - never listened to their music before but they sounded like they were the business. The crowd loved them and they had a sweet sound. 
  • Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds - Noel was the reason why I went to BDO and I went home a happy man. He played a good mix of Oasis and solo songs in his set but the inclusion of three b-sides was enough to make this fan die happy.
  • My Chemical Romance - I love these little fuckers (despite their emo tag) it was a real shame they had terrible sound. The Black Parade was a real highlight. 
  • Cage The Elephant - nice, fiesty band from Kentucky. Played their guts out - sounds like they had some tunes I'd better check out!
  • Gin Wigmore - she's got the sass and the tunes to back it up. Like MCR she suffered a terrible sound mix. Her cover of The Animal's House of the Rising Sun was a most bizzare thing but it kind of worked, and at the least was a performance that will stick out in the memory.
  • Unknown Mortal Orchestra - saw one song and they were shit. The Mint Chicks should never have broken up.
  • Battles - Saw two songs, they had a damn good groove going on. 
  • Cut Off Your Hands - who the fuck booked this band?
  • Mariachi El Bronx - who the fuck booked a Mariachi band? Completely the wrong music for a main stage BDO band but the lead singer was entertaining and the music sound good. 
  • Beastwars - utter fucking rubbish. Not mainstage material. The front man must have taken too many drugs in his youth. You'd have been better off getting a locally popular covers band.
  • The Living End - I love this band so was pleased they played a few classic hits. Good energy all round and they did a cover of Nirvana's Breed with Jon Toogood (from Shihad) - an absolute classic BDO moment, one I'll never forget. 
  • Tony Hawk Skate Jam Show - Tony and his boarders got some great air time and actually had a big audience than Midnight Youth which is not thattttt surprising.
  • I Am Giant - we got filmed for their video they were doing but didn't appear to make the cut. Sad face! Never heard them before but they played some good songs at the end of their set after a same same start. Lead Singer seemed have what it takes to be a good show man - they suffered from being on shitty smaller main stage.
  • Cavalera Conspiracy - I don't care if these were the boys from Sepultura, this kind of music sucks.
  • Regurgitator - I like their old stuff better than their new stuff but these guys were pretty shit live. They sound nothing like their recorded music - playing rap songs about licking assholes has it's place but when you have bigger hits and you're not playing them, you've missed the point of Big Day Out. 
  • Parkway Drive - music was a similar style to Cavalera Conspiracy but was was impressed that they were a pretty tight unit. 
  • Midnight Youth - I thought this band was over-rated before I heard them and nothing changed for me. Lead singer seems like a real dick. 
  • Jan 11, 2012

    Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds Review by Jimmy Jangles



    The second song on Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds is titled ‘Dream On’. It’s a punchy tune that suggests Oasis fans can dare to dream on that Noel can continue to produce great music without the vocal contribution of estranged brother Liam (and vice versa as Beady Eye’s debut album wasn’t too shabby).

    If you’ve ever wondered what Oasis would be like without Liam, you only ever had to listen to some of that band’s classic b-sides like The Masterplan and Talk Tonight. Now, High Flying Birds however is your chance to here some A-side material in quantity. Similar in tone to Dig Out Your Soul, High Flying Birds runs along at an even pace backed by a crew of usual suspects such as Dave Sardy and Marc Rowe.

    Noel appears to have progressed as a lyricist – they seem to be slighty more introspective than standard Oasis fare – whereas Wonderwall and Champagne Supernova’s lyrics were meanders slowly down the ‘hall of whatever’, songs like The Death of You and Me and X strongly hint at real moments that have occurred in Noel's life.

    The Death of You and Me (lyrics) is a nice wee tune, harking back to arguably Oasis’ last genuine hit, The Importance of Being Idle. Underneath the song is a nice basic guitar chord progress but it's wrapped in the usual sounds of Beatles-esque horns and trumpets. The more you listen, the more you’ll perhaps come to enjoy this as a classic Noel Gallagher song.

    ‘AKA What a life’ is a cracking single. Governed by a strong piano riff and drum beat, Noel is in fine form. If one had to compare it to a prior Oasis track, Falling Down jumps out, though I feel this is a better song. It has a good video too – The Death of You and Me has a matching video. Watch them together for an interesting story featuring Noel’s buddy Russell Brand.

    Stop the Clocks (remember that name?) is a fine album closer - clearly written  by Noel when Oasis was still Oasis and it should have been a song sung by Liam - it's screaming out for his vocals.

    Thanks to the development of the MP3, these days artistic output is often consumed song by song – fans would be doing themselves a dis-service if they only listened to the singles – this is a fine album, consistently enjoyable the whole way through – with no filler tracks as the odd recent Oasis album has been guilty of.

    Noel should be proud of his debut solo effort, positive sales suggest so as well. 

    I'm hanging out to see Gallagher's Big Day Out show Auckland next week!

    Originally published on The Swampsong as: JJ Reviews: Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds debut album

    Jan 1, 2012

    Fathers and Mothers - What U2 has to say about them





    U2 songs about Mothers and Fathers

    All good song writers tap their family tree for lyrical inspiration now and then. There's been plenty of popular songs that feature lyrics about parents and their children. A classic example is Cat Steven's Father and Son.

    It's with no great surprise then that Bono has chosen to reveal insights to his feeling about his family in a few of U2's songs. Here's some thoughts about a selected few...

    Mofo

    Mofo was sixth single flogged from the supposedly terrible Pop, album the lyrics in part refer to Bono's beloved mother, whom he lost at the age of fourteen.


    Mothers of the Disappeared

    The Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo, is a unique organization of Argentine women who have become human rights activists in order to achieve a common goal. For over three long decades, the Mothers have fought for the right to re-unite with their abducted children. It was this work that inspired Bono's lyrics.

    Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own

    The lyric was written by Bono as a tribute to his father, Bob Hewson, who died in 2001. Bono sang this at his funeral. In the video for the song it was prefaced with the following from Bono "My father worked in the post office by day and sang opera by night. We lived on the north side of Dublin in a place called Cedarwood Road. He had a lot of attitude. He gave some to me - and a voice. I wish I'd known him better." On Your Own song shares similar parental sentiments as found in Kite from the All That You Can't Leave Behind album.

    Tommorrow

    The October album was definitely Bono on channeling and challenging his spiritual side - Tomorrow sees him exploring his thoughts around his mother's death and the spectre of her possibly meeting Jesus.


    A song from the Grammy Award winning album, Zooropa, The first verse of this the First Time hints sentiments of falling in love for the first time or perhaps truly, madly, deeply falling for someone - the lyric "I have a lover, a lover like no other" suggests the later perhaps is true.

    The second verse refers to the love of a brother who would do anything for his sibling - the word brother could easily stand in for friend here as well. 

    The final verse talks of the love between a father and son that perhaps has gone sour. Collectively these three different settings make for a great story and makes you wonder what kind of person is telling this story and how do those elements relate to one another? Indeed, there's almost a hint of the Prodigal Son story surrounding the entire fabric of the song. 

    I believe in Father Christmas

    Written by Greg Lake, I Believe in Father Christmas with a view to making a critque about how Christmas had changed from being a celebration of peace on earth and goodwill to all men, into one huge and disgusting orgy or shopping.

    Done with this page? Want to know more about some other U2 lyrics? Check out 10 U2 Love Songs.

    Dec 23, 2011

    Real meanings of 5 U2 lyrics





    The Real Meaning of 5 U2 Song Lyrics

    To my mind, a really good song is one which has hidden depths - and those depths can usually be found in the lyrics. A classic rock song, can say anything and mean everything. Look at Oasis's Wonderwall lyrics for example. It's basically a love song but without really actually meaning anything - Here's 5 U2 song lyrics that have some real meaning, and with perhaps some devilish bite to them.

    God Part II

    People often wonder why this song is called Pt II as they've never heard of a U2 song called God before. It's actually intended as a sequel to John Lennon's song called God. John Lennon's song refers to things he didn't believe in such as Hitler - Bono's version also refers to things that he also doesn't believe in but also goes on to refer to how pissed he was at the author Albert Goldman who wrote an unflattering biography of Lennon (and also a bio of Elvis, and given U2's love of Elvis, I'm not surprised Bono made the reference).

    Sunday Bloody Sunday 

    This one is a pretty obvious song, but newer U2 fans may not realise the real meaning of this song. It's an exploration of the conflict that can exist between the State, it's people and when religion gets thrown into the mix. Inspired by two terrible occasions where soldiers shot civilians in Northen Ireland - the lyrics capture these moments crisply by invoking the cross fire that occurred between Ireland's conflicting religions and the military acttion that was taken - an by extension the State's role in the massacres.

    Walk On

    This is one of those songs that stray into the say anything, mean anything territory but U2 have but some real context around it to to ensure that it's lyrics are not misunderstood. Dedicated to Aung San Suu Kyi, this song is a freedom song, dedicated to the exponent of democracy and freedom in Mynamar. Poignantly during the 360 degree tour, U2 played this song at every concert and had supporters of Amnesty International come out on to the stage to show their support for Aung San Suu Kyi and U2's support for the people of Mynammar and their efforts to become a truly democratic society.


    Spanish Eyes

    Despite stealing lyrics from "She's a rainbow" by the Rolling Stones, Spanish Eyes is a love song to Bono's wife Ali - and she is actually Irish thus confusing the heck out of many U2 fans. This b-side from The Joshua Tree era kind of complements The Sweetest Thing in the sense that it was also a b-side and also a love letter to Ali.

    Zooropa

    Zooropa is a really crazy song that opens the album of the same name. Some fans have been confused by the lyrics of the song - they seem so mumble jumbled and make no sense. The real meaning of the song can be determined when you realise the lyrics are a hodge podge of slogans from famous brands. Zooropa's lyrics have a running theme of irony, tying in the "media overload" themes of the Zoo TV Tour into the context of a post-Berlin Wall Europe. The song's lyrics touch on how modern technology can unite people as well as separates  them from each other.

    Want more? check out U2 lyrics that explore Jesus, Yahweh and The Good Book.

    Dec 21, 2011

    The Best of Gears of Halo 2011



    I've really enjoyed writing for Gears of Halo this year – ocassionally I even wrote some original articles!

    Sometimes I simply copied cos play pictures from the internet, wrote some gobble-de-gook around them and you loved them. It’s true what they say about the internet and commerce – sex sells eh?

    Originals:

    What could Gears of War 4 offer gamers? - What becomes of the Gears franchise now the Trilogy is done?
    Quit bitching about paying for DLC you already have - and just play the game sucker.
    Two Cranes and a Halo short film - Wellington. It rocks. So does PJ.
    Have you noticed? - well have you?
    I heart you Bungie - I declare my love for Bungie. To date my love is unrequited. Did I spell that right?
    Gears of War 3's Insane Mode – I wax lyrical about the awesomeness that is Gears of War’s Insane Difficulty setting. Do try it.

    Popular posts cosplay posts:

    Mystique Nude Cosplay Photos
    Harley Quinn Cosplay Costumes
    Body Painted Mass Effect Girls Nude
    Body Painted Super Heroines - Does it mean they are nude?
    Power Girl Cosplay Outfits
    Jean Grey / Dark Phoenix Cos Play Photos

    Game Reviews:

    I only buy very few new games – I tend to stick to what I know – suffice to say here’s the new games I played this year:

    Bioshock 2 – the sequel to Bioshock did the deed and held up as a very solid sequel.
    Gears of War 3 – Gears 3 come out and kicked some ass.
    Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary – Halo CE Redux has a lot going for it!
    Mass Effect 2 – I was late to the party on this game but it was a great party!

    Concept Art work:

    I love concept art – seeing where ideas have come from and how they ended up in a game (or movie etc) is pretty cool.

    Turned out Issac Hannaford knows how to draw a good Cortana
    Halo Concept Art by various Bungie Artists - A round up of some Halo concept art
    Levi Hoffmeier's Halo Concept Art
    Halo 4 Concept Artwork by 343 – concept art as a promotional piece for Halo 4? Brilliant and novel marketing approach.
    Mark Goldsworthy Reach Concept Art
    Halo artwork by Paul Russel

    Favourite Posts:

    These posts are favourites because they are amusing or perhaps represented a cool thing that happened in the gaming universe this year.

    Should Sheppard and Ashley Williams get back together? - This is a real issue people!
    Star Trek Fans Nude Bike Ride WTF? – Trekies seem to love this page….
    Top 10 Worst Cos Play Costumes Fails
    Halo 4 announced at E3
    Bungie's MMO is ONI
    Destiny: Is Bungie making a MMO?
    HBO indirectly confirms Destiny ;) 

    So what was your favourite post this year - and that can be from any where! See you in 2012 - now doubt with some full halo glory in the vein of Halo 4!

    Dec 15, 2011

    'ello Guv


    Dec 12, 2011

    Blacks Caps amaze everybody, including themselves

    Nice try lads. 
    For the first time since 1993 the Black Caps have beaten Australia in a test match! After a first innings collapse for a total of 150 runs, me and the rest of NZ's long tormented fans wrote off the team expecting another hiding from the Aussies. I even tweeted "you hurt me #blackcaps, you hurt me" but there's no pain now, just a bit amazement and happiness for NZ cricket.

    NZ has a history of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and it looked like they were at it again when they collapsed again in their second innings but the Black Cap bowlers made great use of a swinging ball to run through the Australian order.

    Despite a fantastic effort from David Warner who made a confident century, the defiant last wicket stand of 34 was just 7 runs shy of winning and when Brendon Bracewell bowled Nathan Lyon, the result was a fine win for NZ and as it turns out, the 9th closest victory margin in the history of test cricket.

    Well done Black Caps, just when I thought you couldn't do any worse, you couldn't have done any better!

    Nov 30, 2011

    It's the Bono leading the blind blondes


    What rhymes with achtung?

    The one thing that truly stands out for me when thinking about the brilliance of U2 is not their songs, the drums, or riffs. Nor is it the hype and hyperbole of one of the world's most popular bands but their lyrics.

    Bono has written the vast majority of U2's lyrics and in many of them you can find some true gems of penmanship, little sparkles of lyrical bliss that took a good song and put it into the territory of musical greatness.

    I suggest that while some non U2 fans take any chance to diss Bono, they would be really grumpy buggers if they denied that Bono was a great lyricist.

    Like a good poet, Bono's lyrics feature a whole range of subjects - love and loss, drugs, faith, faith in drugs, gods, Elvis and other monsters and of course, politics and it's prisoners. This work leaves ample room for an inquiry into U2's lyrics, especially when The Edge chips in the odd song.

    So what are Bono's best lyrical moments and qualities? What's his inspiration for putting pen to paper.  What makes Bono's lyrics so well received by millions of listeners and readers around the world? I can't speak for any one else but I thought I could share 10 U2 songs which I think highlight Bono's mastery of his craft. Some of thing are simply clever word plays, others are stories of delight and irony - a thing which Bono and the boys were very heavy on in the 1990's. Trabants on stage anyone?

    10 songs that show Bono's lyrical qualities


    Perhaps second only to With Or Without you in terms of popularity, it is arguably U2's finest song and I believe the lyrics are what make this so - I think this is because it's one of those songs where the lyrics can mean anything and everything to anyone.

    At work last week a manager did a pop quiz and asked what this song was about. The answers varied from 'it's about a gay couple' or 'two torn lovers'. I think Bono's actually on record in the U2 by U2 book as One being a song about a couple that's breaking up. But that doesn't matter as its words are universal and have been taken to heart by so many U2 fans - indeed some have even had it as their wedding song which I'm sure would be a delicious irony for Bono

    The Wanderer

    "They say they want the kingdom but they don't want God in it". I think that's Bono perfectly capturing the wishes of so many of us. We want the nice things, but aren't prepared to put in the effort. Or something. For me, The Wanderer always seemed like some post apocalyptic dream - and it's perhaps a sign of a great song where it allows you to shape your own thoughts and fantasies around it (well when Bono mentions the 'atomic sky', that's nice nudge). Indeed, the whole of Zooropa's lyrics seem to take me to a strange other world, where in some places it's OK to feel numb or taste the lemon but spit out antifreeze.

    Original of the Species

    The title is suggestive of what's to come in this song, a play on Darwin's epic work about evolution - the song's lyrics are possibly a father looking at his daughter's own evolution from - child to woman. The second half is more likely Bono singing to his wife (and the message in the first half could also before her) - either way both, themes are heartwarming.

    If God Will Send His Angels

    'Blind leading the blond' is perhaps my favourite U2 line ever. It's just a cleverly simply play on words. Bono does that trick a fair bit in the Pop album - an almost too cute example is from The Playboy Mansion which opens with the lyric "If Coke is a mystery, and Micheal Jackson, history..." which was a nice play on the failing career of Jackson and a play on the name of his Greatest Hits album.


    Sunday Bloody Sunday

    Bono defiantly wears this song's lyrics on his sleeve. A song about soldiers shooting civilians in Northen Ireland - the lyrics capture the moment crisply by invoking a cross fire between religion and the military (and by extension the State) and the sad consequences when both collide.  Featuring a fine use of  a marching drum beat by Larry Mullen, the song's chorus is a defining moment for Bono - it was one of U2's first truly popular 'classic' songs and it many ways this song defined U2 as a band that could carry some political weight.

    Until the End of the World

    "In my dream I was drowning my sorrows
    But my sorrows, they learned to swim
    Surrounding me, going down on me
    Spilling over the brim

    Waves of regret and waves of joy
    I reached out for the one I tried to destroy
    You, you said you'd wait
    'Til the end of the world"

    Simply one of Bono's finest song writing moments. Water is commonly used as a metaphor life yet here's Bono drowning in his sorrows. The song can be seen as a obvious story about how Judas betrayed Jesus and thus seen as one of those "U2 going on about God and spiritually" type songs but as with all good lyrics they can mean anything. I tend to see this one more of a dramatic break up between two lovers where the relationship perhaps has been bit one sided.

    The Wanderer

    "They say they want the kingdom but they don't want God in it". I think that's Bono perfectly capturing the wishes of so many of us. We want the nice things, but aren't prepared to put in the effort. For me, The Wanderer always seemed like some post apocalyptic dream - and it's perhaps a sign of a great song where it allows you to shape your own thoughts and fantasies around it (well when Bono mentions the 'atomic sky', that's nice nudge). Indeed, the whole of Zooropa's lyrics seem to take me to a  strange other world, where in some places it's OK to feel numb or taste the lemon but spit out antifreeze.



    Not a hugely popular song on release as a single but I think time has shown that Please was a fine song from U2's Pop album. Lyrically it was a political plea, invoking the captains of Irish politics to sort their messes out. The listener would perhaps know the song had political connotations if they had seen the cover which featured Gerry Adams and other elected leaders - however this stanza effectively leaves no stone unturned as Bono thows a rock in the air to hit home the issues:

    Your Catholic blues, your convent shoes
    Your stick-on tattoos, now they're making the news
    Your holy war, your northern star
    Your sermon on the mount from the boot of your car

    Strong stuff from an album many people were quick to write off.


    One could be forgiven for thinking that Get on Your Boots was simply a throw away song by U2 ( indeed one wonders why they released it as the first single from No Line on the Horizon when Magnificant probably would have given them a hit single) however the lyrics of this song run deep. Almost a stream of consciousness, tripping through it's seemingly nonsensical words but when Bono writes "I don’t want to talk about the wars between the nations" he's saying everything.

    All I Want is You

    This is Bono's finest love letter he has ever written. The closing from Rattle and Hum is simply a man tell a woman how he loves her - it's perhaps not the happiest song with undertones suggesting things may have gone awry - indeed the tremendous coda at the end suggests a passionate love affair being ripped apart by uncaring forces. A good lyric deserves a fine musical backing and All I Want is You has it in spades.

    Summary

    So that was my attempt to highlight some of the fine lyrical qualities and charms that Bono and U2 have to offer. Of course with any interpretation of songs, the whole exercise is a subjective journey, indeed a musical journey that could have stopped at a completely different set of songs.

    Bono is a bit of a lyrical magpie. He steals lines from the bible and riffs on the work of others (such as when he tried to write a sequel of sorts to John Lennon's 'God') to make his point. But he does that and gets his unique messages across to the listener very well.

    If someone hasn't already printed a book featuring all of U2's lyrics, they surely will as they serve as some fine literature in their own right. Throw in some politcal rallying and a little love making and there's a best seller book of poetry on your hands....

    What are your favourite lyrical moments from U2?


    Other pages you may be interested in:

    Nov 17, 2011

    Piranhas eat Brazilian swimmers at beach

    This picture has no relevance to the story other than being awesome

    This news report suggests there's a school of hungry pirahnas running round beaches terrorising swimmers. No word on how many toes have been eaten.....

    News Story

    Thousands of flesh-eating piranhas have appeared along a river beach popular with tourists in western Brazil, attacking unwary swimmers.

    A spokesman for the municipal government of Caceres in Mato Grosso state says at least 15 people have been bitten in the past two weeks off Daveron beach.

    Nobody has died, but some swimmers have lost toes, and spokesman Gonzaga Junior says others have lost chunks of their legs and ankles.

    Junior says piranhas are common in rivers on the outskirts of the city. But this is the first time they have appeared in waters off the beach inside the city.

    Large posters have been posted on the beach to warn swimmers about the fish.

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