Best friends with Optimus Prime. Sucks to be you, Starscream fan....

3 Awesome Transformer Songs: Theme, Touch and Dare


transformers movie theme


Youtube videos of Transformers Theme Songs!


You've got the power, you've got the touch!. If you've found The Optimus Prime Experiment, you know you love these three awesome Transformers songs....

Transfomers: Theme by Lion

Where heavy metal meets ahh... metal robots where there's the first more than meets the eye line in a song ever (Velvet Revolver and Faith No More notably used the line).



Recorded by Lion and not White Lion as some people seem to think! The video is prefaced by a advertisment for the best toys of the 80s...

The Touch by Stan Bush


You can watch it in the next video as it played out in the Transformers Movie:



Dare: by Stan Bush

The lesser known of the Stan Bush contributions to the animated Transformers: The Movie but still is an awesome song.


Why is Optimus Prime more awesome than Jesus?



Jesus couldn't turn into a fire engine.

Who was the original MP3 player?


Let's face it, Soundwave was always the coolest Decepticon. If he had have been an Autobot, he would have been as popular as Optimus himself.

You can see in the picture below (taken from an early cut of the end of the Revenge of the Fallen) that Soundwave has rejected his evil ways and being the original MP3 player, has taken the music to the masses:


soundwave transformers as a dj

Seeing this, Optimus Prime thought he could jump in on the scene too. The Optimus Prime Experiment brings you, Optimus Rhyme:

optimus rhyme transformer

Whasssup!?

Who is Bono?


bono macphisto


Who is Bono?

Bono is the instant karma of the spirit of Frank fucking Sinatra. Bono is love, peace and harmony. Bono is celebrity hack yacking in the prime minister's ear about freely negotiated debt. Bono is the hooker with a heart of gold. He's also the rick prick that charges you $150 to see the greatest band in the land. Bono is one quarter of U2.

Bono is the dude that wrote that song you danced to at your wedding that you didn't realise was about a couple breaking up. Bono is the guy that wrote Desire. Bono is better by design. Bono is what Chris Martin will never become. Bono's bad mood is Radiohead. Bono can be that kicking squeeling gucci little piggy.

Bono is a bluer kind of white.

Bono took the vague from Las Vegas and replaced it with MacPhisto. Bono is the singer in a rock n roll band. Bono hears ridiculous voices. Bono won't be come a minister in order to defeat a monster. Bono is Paul Hewson. Bono is not the Walrus, that was the other Beatle. Bono has the right shoes to get you through the night. Bono is Frank Sinatra's two shots of happy, one shot of sad.

Bono is living on The Edge.

Bono is a mother fucking Pope. Bono wants to be your political compass and conscious. Bono is nuclear free. Bono writes the lyrics. Bono is the guy that drinks too much wine. Bono is a preacher man, sometimes the too preachy man.

Bono is the
fish that rode the bicyle.


NZ Bacon and Egg Pie: A Man's Version of the Recipe


making a bacon and egg pie
Plenty of bacon, plenty of eggs required.
When you hear the words 'Bacon and Egg Pie' what comes to you mind? If you're a lady you may think "ooohhh a pie. Let's put in some parsley, milk, carrots, onion, chives and and some fucking peas".

If you're a MAN, you KNOW bacon and egg pie only has bacon and egg and no fucking peas!


Here's Jimmy Jangles' Bacon and Egg Pie Recipie, Man Style.


The first thing to acknowledge is that as a man, I know you're not going to read these instructions properly. Cos you're a man! I'm way ahead of you buddy, I'm not writing this recipe properly!

The second thing to acknowledge is why are you baking the pie? Women don't 'get'  the concept of a bacon and egg pies only consisting of egg and bacon and pastry, only men do so it's up to you, man.

Also, wikipedia says New Zealand is famous for its bloody bacon and egg pies, so by making one, you are doing your bit for the country! (of course, if you are not a Kiwi, I humbly thank you for trying a NZ pie, Man Style!). This pie gets you easy Man Points added to your Man Points card


What you need for a Man's Bacon and Egg Pie

  • Flaky Pastry*
  • Heaps of bacon. 
  • 9 eggs or more. Maybe 10. 8 eggs are for pussies.
  • A clean dish.
  • Some more bacon.

How to make the pie

  • Turn the oven on to any hot temperature. Set to bake. 
  • Layer some flaky pastry over the dish, covering the sides.
  • Cook the bacon - microwave is the man's easy way out here. Cut that shit up and throw into dish.
  • Eggs. Crack 'em open over the bacon. Don't stir, whisk, add milk or any of that shit your girlfriend or wife does. Remember 8 eggs are for pussies, 9 is the minimum for men.
  • Cover your pie with more pastry. There will be left over pastry. Make your initials out of it and put them on the top of your pie. Feed the rest to the dog.
  • Poke some holes in the top with a fork so it breathes and doesn't get all sweaty like your fat ex did.

How to cook your pie


You turned on the oven right? That's apparently called pre heating. Who knew? Put your Man's Version of a Bacon and Egg Pie in the oven. Let it cook for 25 minutes. Don't let it burn OK? That means don't go and play Halo for an hour and then come back and check on it! Bring your TV and Xbox 360 into the kitchen if necessary ok?


Your pie is ready when you say it's ready. Only then. Don't listen to anyone else.


Serve your pie with a cold home brew beer or two beers and maybe a bit of Wattie's Sauce**. Put the game on and don't share it with your girlfriend. Maybe give a bit to the dog.

* If in doubt over what pastry to get, ring your dear mother, it's win win as you get the advice you need and she gets a call and thinks you're ace for thinking of her in a time of need. Be wary though, this could cost you some Man Points if any one hears the call, but these are automatically redeemed back when you pie turns out awesome.

** Man Points off if you use any other brand.