Best friends with Optimus Prime. Sucks to be you, Starscream fan....

You should feel sorry for anone who says they've worn the 'Kakapo Ejaculation Helmet'


So like this must be the oddest thing Wellington's Te Papa Museum has on display: The Kakapo Ejaculation Helmet.

the kakapo ejaculation helmet

So the Kakapo is an endangered NZ parrot. There are like only about 100 of the cute birds about.

These green parrots obviously need to breed to survive but they aint got the message about their forth coming extinction. So concerned Kiwis have set up a breeding programme to help them out.

These people discovered that male kakapo have a tendency to engage people's heads in a sexual mating fashion. It must be some kind of fetish. They don't want do do it with their own kind, but if they see a flap of human hair, they get all frisky.

In an effort to collect Kakapo sperm for the breeding programme, some wiseguy invented 'The Ejaculation Helmet'. I kid you not, that's what it is called. The Ejaculation Helmet is supposed to be worn by some poor sap at which time they then let the Kakapo have his wicked way on their head.

NZ Kakapo mating on a man's head

The above picture is is from the Te Papa Museum. The accompanying caption said that the helmet was not successful. So some guy once got fucked on the head by a parrot for nothing.

Kakapo Parrot

Te Papa Museum is also home to this awesome Collosal Squid

3 Awesome Transformer Songs: Theme, Touch and Dare


transformers movie theme


Youtube videos of Transformers Theme Songs!


You've got the power, you've got the touch!. If you've found The Optimus Prime Experiment, you know you love these three awesome Transformers songs....

Transfomers: Theme by Lion

Where heavy metal meets ahh... metal robots where there's the first more than meets the eye line in a song ever (Velvet Revolver and Faith No More notably used the line).



Recorded by Lion and not White Lion as some people seem to think! The video is prefaced by a advertisment for the best toys of the 80s...

The Touch by Stan Bush


You can watch it in the next video as it played out in the Transformers Movie:



Dare: by Stan Bush

The lesser known of the Stan Bush contributions to the animated Transformers: The Movie but still is an awesome song.


Why is Optimus Prime more awesome than Jesus?



Jesus couldn't turn into a fire engine.

Who was the original MP3 player?


Let's face it, Soundwave was always the coolest Decepticon. If he had have been an Autobot, he would have been as popular as Optimus himself.

You can see in the picture below (taken from an early cut of the end of the Revenge of the Fallen) that Soundwave has rejected his evil ways and being the original MP3 player, has taken the music to the masses:


soundwave transformers as a dj

Seeing this, Optimus Prime thought he could jump in on the scene too. The Optimus Prime Experiment brings you, Optimus Rhyme:

optimus rhyme transformer

Whasssup!?

Who is Bono?


bono macphisto


Who is Bono?

Bono is the instant karma of the spirit of Frank fucking Sinatra. Bono is love, peace and harmony. Bono is celebrity hack yacking in the prime minister's ear about freely negotiated debt. Bono is the hooker with a heart of gold. He's also the rick prick that charges you $150 to see the greatest band in the land. Bono is one quarter of U2.

Bono is the dude that wrote that song you danced to at your wedding that you didn't realise was about a couple breaking up. Bono is the guy that wrote Desire. Bono is better by design. Bono is what Chris Martin will never become. Bono's bad mood is Radiohead. Bono can be that kicking squeeling gucci little piggy.

Bono is a bluer kind of white.

Bono took the vague from Las Vegas and replaced it with MacPhisto. Bono is the singer in a rock n roll band. Bono hears ridiculous voices. Bono won't be come a minister in order to defeat a monster. Bono is Paul Hewson. Bono is not the Walrus, that was the other Beatle. Bono has the right shoes to get you through the night. Bono is Frank Sinatra's two shots of happy, one shot of sad.

Bono is living on The Edge.

Bono is a mother fucking Pope. Bono wants to be your political compass and conscious. Bono is nuclear free. Bono writes the lyrics. Bono is the guy that drinks too much wine. Bono is a preacher man, sometimes the too preachy man.

Bono is the
fish that rode the bicyle.