Which Wellington Barbie Girl are you?


Come on Barbie, let's go party...
Here's a list of the various barbies that Wellington has to offer.... which Wellington Barbie Girl are you?

Oriental Parade Barbie:


This modern day princess homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a master degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with a Prozac prescription and Botox, Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing and is often "working late". Available at all The White House and Yacht Club.

Thorndon Barbie:


This Barbie is only sold at Kirks. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer and a long-haired foreign lap dog named "Honey". Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift and breast augmentation. Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.

Porirua Barbie:


This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78 Holden Ute with dark tinted windows and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with Cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at participating pawn shops.

Upper Hutt Barbie:

This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with A pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Massey Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes slow-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and a see-through halter top.

Purchase her Holden Ute Convertible separately and get Fly Buys points absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at any Warehouse Store. Massey Barbie sold separately.

Hutt Valley Barbie:


This pale model comes dressed in her own Levi jeans 2 Sizes too small, "It's All About Me" T- shirt and a Guns and Roses tattoo on her shoulder.

She has a six pack of Lucky and comes with Metallica CD's. She can spit over a distance of 2 metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her after their last big fight. Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at K-Mart.

Stokes Valley Barbie:

Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a 2 litre of Pepsi and a DPB cheque. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Ford pickup are optional. Available At The Warehouse.

Te Aro Barbie:

This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no make-up and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not have, want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker.

Available at the Ferry terminal.

Vivian St Barbie:


This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work and hangs out at SPQR. Likes to "experiment", but will never commit. This model is being phased out.

12 comments:

CT said...

what about stalker barbie... speaking of stalkers mine left a funny comment on my last post, if you want to see how a psycho thinks check it out...

Martha said...

Do Petone Barbies fall into the Hutt criteria?

hot thames-girl said...

Hmmmmm...methinks this was stolen from an email about AUCKLAND Barbies...hence the reference to "Massey Barbie" and "SPQR".

That's low Jimmy, really low...

Jimmy Jangles said...

jimmy does wonder what SPQR meant....

SPFW said...

can i be Oriental Parade barbie? Please? I don't have a masters though - but I do have more than one major - is that ok. i'll need a boob job though, ken can pay for that.

Hey what's hot thames girl's real name - there's a chick in my office from thames - u may email it to me.

Do u mean what does SPQR actually stand for (I thought u did classics) or do u mean the reference to the Auck establishment? Or is there one in Wgtn? I'm confused. hey SPFW is kind of like SPQR

hot thames-girl said...

Not that I have ANYTHING to do with Auckland, except for the odd wild night out with assorted Thames girls...but FYI Jimmy: SPQR is a poncy bar in Aucks.

SPFW, there is only one...no SPQR in Welly. Tell me, what year did your Thames friend finish school, and did she attend Thames High?? I once told you my name via this forum...when you told me what SPFW stood for. And is SPFW like SPQR in more ways than one??

Jimmy Jangles said...

All this girl on girl action is making me feel funny.

SPFW said...

hmmm, sometimes when i'm drunk enough!
Other Thames girl finished 2000

hot thames-girl said...

SPFW I finished 1997... *sigh* I feel so OLD...

SPFW said...

I'm starting to feel old and i finished in 99.

One day i'm going to meet you hot thames girl and we're going to drink together and gang up against jangles

hot thames-girl said...

Sounds like a plan!!!!!

SPFW said...

sweet. just don't tell jimmy - he'll get too excited and embarass himself