Gods are selfish beings who fly around in little red capes and don't share their power with mankind.
Trust me, its a killer!
"So, Sir Paul, do you think that you will ever
go down on one knee again?"
Sir Paul: "I'd prefer it if you called her Heather".
What a hideous line up of ugly people! Well at least Mr Chris has a nice guitar....
No seriously, its a nice guitar.
NE ways as per the whore's exhortions Jay Bee and I went and had the pleasure of seeing some fine young talent put on "Butt Ugly". There were laughs, there were tears, (not mine, I'm too manly for that carry on), in jokes, snide references and beastly puns about braces. Just beastly!
The premise it the ugly 7th formers (17 years olds) at school form a gang to rid the world of its bad attitude to people who look like mingers and get them to use mingers in advertising rather than hot bods, babes and bikinis.
NE ways the acting was lively, not too cliched but at times deliciously deliberately cliched. The characters are based on classic stereotypes such as the fat kid, the ginga, the geek and the short kid etc vs the shool yard jock. Top marks to the actors, spesh the geek girl. They were well rehearsed and and quite tight.
Thematically, its pretty light with angry kids vs mean kid issues prevalent in many american films - think Clueless but without Cher, but its conclusion wraps well with a subtle touch on an issue all too common to young people. I'd tell ya what it was but that would ruin the very slight twist at the end, suffice to say good luck with your exams.
Now Mr Chris is probably going what about the music!! Was it good it good or was it brilliant. Yes. In a teenage dirt bag, I play rock guitar in front of the miror kind of way. But fuck, who really listens to Iron Maiden these days? Great James Bond riff by the way. The Animal drummer was bang on (yes, beastly pun intended)and the key boards were played perfectly zanily. I wouldn't buy the soundtrack but I might drink a beer to it!!
The young crowd was quite amusing - we laughed a fair whack - a lot of them appeared to be friends of the actors and musicians (my connection - Mr Chris links to this humble (ha! - Ed) blog) and so they sort of cheered their mates a bit too much at seemingly wrong times, but you can't really knock enthusiasm eh? As I figure it, this whole exercise is about promoting young talent so just roll with it eh Jimmy?
My fave line of the play was when Mr Chris' bad cop character asked the fat kid if she ate the kid that was missing. Beastly, just beastly.
All in all I'd give Butt Ugly an honest 7.99 / 10.
Is a baby gone wild
She cuts her cake an eats it too
Looking for Heaven she knocked on the wrong door
Repented to late
Her highway to hell had already been dialled
Enough of photogenic power
Bring on the industrial strength sleaze
Videos of her in the shower
Down on her knees
Begging, crying, dying to appease.
No slouch on the casting couch
Her mother was appalled
At the guys she balled
Daddy was aghast as she posed thick and fast
Her body borne sins
Grant her lottery wins
The Cash Cow looks no gift horse in the mouth
She's cashing up before her assets drift south.
"Umm yes" is the meek reply
"Gosh now I HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR TICKET GRRR!!"
I'm thinking what a prick, she's just a kid and looks it. Its obvious she should have been given the ticket at the child fare rate.
From behind me a rather confident voice goes "and a smile while you're at it would be nice", making it clear the driver was indeed a prick.
"It's not my job to smile" the prick replies, not looking up. The girl moves on.
So its my turn for the ticket purchase. Feeling like a smarmy bastard I put ten 20 cent pieces in the tray for coinage. That's enough for a two section fare.
"well how many sections then? he says
Feeling confident after the jibe from the guy behind me, I say as snarky as possible "Why don't you count it and figure it out?"
The best bus driver since Sandra Bullock sighs heavily, bangs the machine and pops out a ticket without counting the shrapnel. I grab the ticket and sit down. The guy behind me walks past, gives me a wink and moves on by.
So like I wore me Wellingtons to work today cos of the rain. I wish I had of stayed in bed, all nice and warm. Instead it's shit house. At least I don't live in Jafa Land…. Ne wayz for your viewing pleasure I bring La WeekENZ dat was, aight? Version 9.999 betamax
Ø Beer. Feathers. Pool. Malt House. Hmm I love TGIFs.
Ø Sleep in. Hell yes. But No. Denied. Mrs Mannix rang. Help! I'm locked IN my house !! Queue manliness to rescue fair maiden from her own house.
Ø Watched the Ali G movie. Walked round telling everyone they were batty boys and/or mingers for next 48 hours. Ya minger. Keep it real.
Ø Stay Classy Sandiego
Ø Moved a fridge. Fridges are heavy mothers when going upstairs. Result – Jimmy has a beer fridge. Beertastic. Burp.
Ø When to Place Makers. Didn't buy anything but still felt manly.
Sure the intro chords are similiar but you can steal chords.... its all about how you play them innit?? Feck - how many songs go D A G in the chrous? A fucking million !! But the phrasing...? well that could be interesting...That is all. Get back to your bloody submissions / seditious activities.
Speaking of our Queen, congratulations to me best mate's mum from school days, Mrs Barry (as I called her for years), who recieved the Queen's Service Medal for Services to Music.
As Ali G might say "Mrs Barry got the def beats y'all. Respect. Peace"
What about Saturday's run from Georgeous George eh? Brisbane Cup next monday eh? The Rooster reckons he's the next Bonecrusher....eh? might clean out the ol tab account eh?
"You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." - Colin Cooper - Hurricanes head coach
Chris Masoe (Hurricanes) on whether he had visited the Pyramids during his visit to Egypt: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." - Colin Cooper on Paul Tito
Kevin Senio (Auckland), on Night Rugby vs Day Games "It's basically the same, just darker.
David Nosafora (Auckland) talking about Troy Flavell "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'David, I don't know and I don't care.'
David Holwell (Hurricanes) when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to reach for 150 or 200 points this season, whichever comes first.
"Andy Ellis - the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago"(Murray Mexted)
"Colin has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator." (Ma Nonu)
"He scored that try after only 22 seconds - totally against the run of play." (Murray Mexted)
"We actually got the winning try three minutes from the end but then they scored." (Phil Waugh Warratah)
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." (Jerry Collins)
"That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical." (Tony Brown)
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Tana Umaga)
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in rugby - but none of them serious." (Doc Mayhew)
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."(Anton Oliver)
"I would not say he (Rico Gear) is the best left winger in the Super 14, but there are none better." (Murray Mexted)
"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." (Ewan McKenzie)
Murray Deaker: "Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?"
Tana Umaga: "On what ?"
"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw."(Murray Mexted)
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."(Murray Mexted)