More from the Cricinfo guy.

"I'm off down the bookies and will report back shortly with the odds. Yes, unsurprisingly it's a complete waste of time down there - England are 5 to 1 to chase this down, New Zealand 9 to 1 against."

A gem from the Cric Info Commentary Team

"Vettori is sporting a Victorian-style moustache. This has to be a bet; he looks like he's balancing a slug on his top lip."

Catches win matches

Howabout that?

Marilyn Manson's pubic problem

From Popbitch

LA stars Matt Dillon and Marilyn Manson
often bump into each other at Hollywood
parties, awards shows and VIP events.
Manson always says "hello" to Dillon.
And Dillon always publicly blanks
the goth rocker.

The feud dates back to a party in
Los Angeles a couple of years ago.
Manson went to the toilet to take
a pee and, mid-stream, decides to spit
his chewing gum into the urinal.
Somehow he misses, and the gum sticks
in his pubic hair. Perturbed, Manson
wanders back into the party and asks
if anyone has a pair of scissors on them.
Matt Dillon replies that he has a pair in
his bag and would be happy to lend them.

So Manson wanders off and carefully cuts
the gum away from his penis. When he
brings the scissors back to Dillon,
the actor gets curious, and asks why
the singer needed them. Embarrassed but
amused, Manson decides to explain. At
that point Dillon cuts him off with a
look of disgust... and has not spoken
to him since.

Tickle me Emo

The Rooster seeks his big brother's advice...the fool

Dear Rooster.

How is Korea? I'm fine thnaks.

Emo is a many splendid thing. Its like Alanis Morissette without actually being Alanis Morissette. Oh yeah sure it was / is part of some weird movement where the singers got all emotional and yada yada, but its kind of moved on.

Today emo is music for the teenage masses. They are not okay and need a lil emotional support. If you just noticed you got pubes, emo is for you. Emo means you like want to score your best friend’s girlfriend but you have to do your homework first. Emo means catchy songs with nail polish and black hair dye. Emo means you have moved on from the Wiggles and think My Chemical Romance are singing songs about you.

Emo is basically just some weird freaking popular name given to music that seems to appeal to the young ones. Do we have a video? Yes we’ve got a video!?!! Its like remember when Smashing Pumpkins were Alternative? If Today came out er.. today I reckon that would be tagged Emo. There’s no particular way of hitting the drums or spitting at the audience to be Emo. Its just a tag for the young.

It is however really fun to mock Emo. Why? Because it has always been fun to mock the kiddies. We know now that the pressures of being 16 are nothing compared to the pressures of 26,36 and 46. Exams don’t matter and who cares about the fotos your boyfriend took? You looked skinny! You’re fat now aren’t ya? Well I got news for you. Dust, you can eat plenty of that.

I'm not okay.......

In a comment too good to let languish in the comments section Hedges, of Benson and Hedges fame brings this gem:

I wish my lawn was emo....then it'd cut itself....

my chemical romance

Frank bought a heater, an electric heater

Today's lesson in rock:

Wikipedia lists of number one hits in this country.

And there endeth the lesson.

Evermore is #1: Why try harder?

So Australian band Evermore have hit number one on the Aussie charts with "Light Surrounding You". Take that Beyonce! I Bid(et) you good day! A confused Stuff says that the last Kiwi act to do so was one-hit wonder OMC with How Bizarre in 1996. Heh, remember stole my car? You know when we were in KFC, man? I fail to see the relevance but ne ways nice work lads.

I saw Evermore play with ELEMNOP about 3 years ago at Indigo - I remember them being skinny and one of them had curly hair. They sounded okay.. I was there for some fast times in Taihape or where-ever so I didn't pay too much attention.

And another Australian band, Crowded House is also set to get back on the road after a spell. Neil Finn and that other guy are auditioning for a drummer. Lets hope they pick one that won't get drool on the kit.

Billy Joel just came on the ipod. Remember when when Garageland sang "Billy Joel is an asshole"? (Actually was it Suprette? I forget). Those were the days - rocking out drunk on Tui at some uni gig. Beelines to heaven indeed.

Here is Super Si's BDO Review:

"How was it? Absolutely amazingly wonderfully trully brilliantly fantastically completely (running out of words here lol) deafeningly entertainingly Fukin awesome. I think that covers it".

All's well in Emoland then.

The Gladiator is back ?

So crickey should I be taking it all back about Macca after this performance? He's in, he out. He's on the outer, his back in the middle and gets his highest score against the Wizards of OZ. You can't ask for more than that can you? (well other than Richard Haddlee to be recalled) Can we just give up on Hamish Marshall pls? BRING BACK SKIPPY. Jesus Wept for your bloody sins Mr Bracewell and you should beg his forgiveness by dropping Marshall - or at least batting him down low. How does it feel baby? Lower.

This attempt to have McCullum become the new Sanath Jay has merit - he has the temperament, a few shots and he's got the fire in his belly to do it - let's ride him out for the rest of the series...

This is also a longshot but worth exploring - We get see Edmund Hilary to adopt Micheal Hussey. He could then play for - no one would question it because Eddie made it so!

Jimmy Jangles top 5 or so songs that finish albums off most splendidly like:

Jimmy Jangles top 5 or so songs that finish albums off most splendidly like

Champagne Supernova / What's the Story (Morning Glory) Oasis

"Slowly walking down hall faster than a cannon ball". A lyric that means nothing and everything. A rocking guitar duet between Noel and Paul Weller. A Na Na Na Na riff as good as any Beatles riff. Enough said.

Indifference / Vs / Pearl Jam

"Ill swallow poison, until I grow immune, I will scream my lungs out till it fills this room". Words like that can freaking haunt a mad man's memories. A killer riff and mood this song almost is begging the listener to stick around for an answer that just can't be given.

Together Alone / Together Alone / Crowded House

A gentle wispy like melody with a Polynesian choir and drums. It's like a great bedtime story – a slow builder that jumps to a climax at the end that is scary but leaves you child like content to dream.

High Hopes / The Division Bell / Pink Floyd

Along down there by the (final) cut - with a piano riff that gives you a hunger that until now is still unsatisfied, this song creates a chilling emotion of 'close but no cigar' or a faded memory of a rockstar past his best? By the way which one of you was Pink?

Horse / Throwing Copper / Live

She ran a horse into my head!? U gotta be freaking kidding me! how you follow up with that from the decibels of the disenchanting discourse that is the twin epics of White Discussion and Pillar of Davidson ? Those songs put me in the mood for pressing the red "Scorched Earth" button and then Live do run a 1986 Cox Plate winner into my head. With a freaking country song !! Its almost comical but it works.

The Rain / Supergroove / Supergroove

Che Fu singing at his finest before he turned to the dark side. The Groove totally rocking out behind him. When is Karl Stevens putting out an album? Also remember how the Groover's second album was called Backspacer? Pearl Jam borrowed from them and called their 2009 album Backspacer as well!

Duets Jimmy Jangles would like to see in 2007

Not since Elton John and Kiki Dee went about breaking each others hearts has there been a decent duet in Ituneslessland.

So I bring you Duets Jimmy Jangles would like to see in 2007

James Reid and Bic Runga doing Meat Loaf's 'I'd do anything for love (but I won't do that)'

David Farrar and Russell Brown doing Triple J and Twice the T's 'She's a Mod'

Graeme Burton and Ahmed Zaoui doing "Why can't we be Friends?"

Mickey Havoc and his ego doing Falco's 'Amadeus'

Chris Warner and Judi Jones doing the old TV2 theme version of 'It takes two baby (just me in you)'

Mathew Ridge and Rebecca Loos(e) doing the Dobsters' 'Loyal'

The Black Caps doing Tim Finn's '(No) Runs in the Family'

Tony Veitch and Bernadine Oliver - Kirby doing Salt and Pepa's 'Let's talk about sex'

It's a list with no diagrams

Pears tagged the Whore and Chris hit the bandwagon like a groupie needing a group to grope. Feeling left out I self selected myself for the completely unoriginal but always good for a laugh - what would what you take on a desert island game!. 5 CDs is today’s topic. Tomorrow is brands of cereal.

Obviously I’m gonna play this one straight.

1. Oasis - What’s the Story (Morning Glory)

This album is just bliss to me and why I learnt to play the guitar. WW/DLBINA/WTHSMG. They will play these songs at my state funeral (any bury me with my Takamine).

2. Live - Throwing Copper.

Music to lose your religion too. Even has a guest appearance by Micheal Stipe.

3. REM - Automatic for the People.

Just in case I really did want to slit my wrists, this album’s musings on life death and how to live it will surely help me finish the job. Probably by inducing a desire to shove a beach of sand down by throat. ‘Follow the River is’ one of the best album closers ever (Neil Finn actually does great album closers too).

4. Bon Jovi – Crossroads

One of the best best ofs EVER! She’s a lil Runawaaaaay. If I can’t have this I’ll have Def Leppard’s Vault. One of the best best ofs EVER! She’s bringing on the Heart Break! The island will clearly be party central with me around so a few 80s hits will be ab fab vital.

5. The Wiggles: The Wiggles

Not many person have heard of this Australian band but they outsell Akaa Dacca by 5 2 1. They have this guy called Jeff in a yellow shirt who kind of looks like ol Will Shatner (I can’t get behind that, Donny Crane!). I like the song ‘Wake Up Jeff’ about Jeff (the guy who needs to wake up) as its got soul, my funk soul bruva, check it out now.

And once more for luck:

6. David Gilmour: On an Island

Nuff Said.

Look who is all growed up!

Why, its Spencer Elden, baby model!

Shane Warne rhymes with porn

So while I was away two things happened of truly immense significance. Narrt.

One was the Black Caps (cough*chokers*cough) scored the unprincely sum of 73 against Sri Lanka. In that innings Craig Mac Millian top scored for lads with 20 odd not out. Blow me a tie died daisy feather, that's one for the books. I thought Macca was long gone but apparently after two odd first class centuries this season he's better than Lou Vincent's spit and he's back like Glen Lazarus isn't.

Well kinda.

Jeez Chris Harris will be thinking he's in with a chance for World Cup glory (or is that gory? – Ed.) the way things are going with the rotation policy. Sticking wiht such a policy my personal pick for a world cup final 11 would be would be:

Mark Greatbatch and Rod Latham opening the innings with Lil Lucas in at three. Nathan Astle in at four, five, six and se7en. Lucas back it at 9 and 10. Bond could bat at 11 if he wished but I doubt we'd need him cos he'll have skittled Australia with 7 for 13 of 6 overs.

And then I woke up it had all been a dream.

The other immential instance of significance was that Brett Lee released a single with some India singing legend and made it to number four on the India charts. A brimful of Asha on the 45 indeed. Here's hoping Lucy Lawless doesn't crash and burn… oh wait she play with Dave Dobbyn.

Chucky and the Moody Coops: We do weddings

chucky and the mood coops
So like the Moody Coops proudly supported Chucky at his and Deb's Wedding. I think we played okay - we'd practiced heaps.

Was a bit nervous and nearly missed the intro queue but it was pretty fun to rock out at the end. Not bad for my first 'live' performance I reckon. Had heaps of fun with the players, before, during and at the after match function!! Props to Manatee for a great speech.

I am scared that the guy on the right appears to have semblance in looks to Quentin Taratino...

Photo: SAS

Rock, it aint what she used to be..

I bring you the topselling albums in review for 2006. Simon Sweetman, eat your heart out.

1 50 Based On A True Story-Fat Freddy's Drop

Give me strength. This is why that news guy with Big Ears will be first against the wall when they make me king for a day. Being a fool for a year would be worth it.

2 37 Back To Bedlam-James Blunt

He's like sooo cute inn he? Pass me the bucket.

3 30 Stadium Arcadium-Red Hot Chili Peppers

Hey Oh, this is the way to go.

4 37 All The Right Reasons-Nickelback

Sorry, I just slit my wrists and there's blood on the keyboard.

5 27 High School Musical OST-Various

Was it me or was this soft porn?

6 42 PCD-The Pussycat Dolls

This was most definitely. Carry On.

7 22 Eyes Open-Snow Patrol

More music to slit your wrists to.

8 31 Eye To The Telescope-KT Tunstall

The Devil wears Prada. I like that film.

9 28 Ring Of Fire: The Legend Of-Johnny Cash

The obligatory dead man best of kicks most peoples

10 24 Sing-Alongs And Lullabies-Jack Johnson

Are we still not over Jack? You curious buggers. Update: Here's the lyrics to To The Sea

11 16 10,000 Days-Tool

Ha, they said tool.

12 29 Taking the Long Way-The Dixie Chicks

We don't heart W.

13 18 Into The Dojo-The Black Seeds

Come on people reggae dies with Bob. Long may he be dead.

14 3 18 Singles-U2

It's no secret the stars are falling from the sky.

15 10 Still The Same: Great Rock Classics Of Our Time-Rod Stewart

I blame my mum for this abomination.

16 18 Curtain Call: The Hits-Eminem

Go lose yourself dude.

17 26 Birds-Bic Runga

I like Birds

18 10 Sam's Town-The Killers

Somebody told me this was hot stuff.

19 13 FutureSex / LoveSounds-Justin Timberlake

I hate you people.

20 12 Modern Times-Bob Dylan

The Rolling Stone magazine would be proud. I'm not.

20 songs I wish you didn't download last year

So in his first day back at work JJ has found teh time to bring you his annual review of the top twently selling singles in NZ for 2006. Its a travesty this year.

First number is the place on the list, second is weeks on. From the RIANZ charts.

1 29 Crazy-Gnarls Barkley:

You’re the fucking crazing ones buying this shit. Gone Daddy Gone indeed.

2 23 Beep-The Pussycat Dolls feat. Will.I.Am

Soft porn always gets my vote. It clearly got yours.

3 35 Bathe In The River-Mt Raskill PS feat. Hollie Smith

A surprise hit? Overwrought, poorly produced. At least the song was better than the film.
4 16 Hips Don't Lie-Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean

Hips don’t lie that you have a fat ass.
5 20 Run It!-Chris Brown

Run over it more like.

6 18 Promiscuous-Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland

More soft porn. Enjoy.

7 19 Touch It-Busta Rhymes

You aint touching nuthin my main man. Shit 'Touch' and 'It' don’t even rhyme!

8 22 Buttons-The Pussycat Dolls feat. Snoop Dogg

Soft porn having a huge year!

9 15 SexyBack-Justin Timberlake

Micheal Jackson wannabe with out the voice. Won’t be surprised if he does a Lance Bass.

10 15 Ridin'-Chamillionaire feat. Tyree

Big in prisons apparently.

11 16 I'm In Luv (Wit A Stripper)-T-Pain feat. Mike Jones

Don't worry Mickey, ocassional All Black halfback Byron Kelleher feels your pain.

12 24 Love Generation-Bob Sinclair

My mumma always said if you cant say soem thing nice don't say anthing.

13 17 Down Time-Aaradhna

We all like down time.

14 23 Breaking Free-Various

I say ‘Turd’

15 18 Pump It-Black Eyed Peas

Like the Duracell Bunny these popstars turn up every other week.

16 13 Stickwitu-The Pussycat Dolls

Porn. Porn. Porn. We approve.

17 21 S.O.S. (Rescue Me)-Rihanna

Yeah, this song needs a rescue from listener hell. God! Paris Hilton did better.

18 16 Flaunt It-TV Rock

Hey, if you got…

19 15 I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker-Sandi Thom

This isn’t a punk song! I want my money back.

20 20 So Sick-Ne-Yo

Yo, Ne- Yo – No.

And there you have it. Albums up next. God help me if I find a Nickelback there...



So this is Christmas:

Ham. Beer. Babe. Bikini. Ham. Horse. Racing. Hole in Pocket. Ham. Beer. Guitar. Sun. Some Sun. Beer. Ham. Lamb. Pork. Jack Reacher. Lovely Bones. Lovely. Ham. Beer. Sleep in.