C'mon the Bay!!

So the new NPC picks comp..

"At 45 points in the first week you're ranked number 148 out of over 105,000 players."

Catch up, b'arches...at least I'm beating DPF. Prolly won't last hahahaha.

jimmyjangles is ma player name....

WTWPT:streamofconscious/and audrey hauntsme

when i was at uni my gma Audrey would right me letters that had no full stops and were harder to decipher than an arthritic doctor's script so here's to her....

weekend that was ... drank a beer fed the tree ate a fish watched the conversationwith genehackmanit was nervy spat at the neighbour cos he as a mohawk and stuff sleptin threw a rock in the air it prolly hitsomeone keyboard losingitsspace bar lost inspace ha ha saw a film by serge leone i think but it could have been anything inchina they eat dogsyou know and sometimes in cuba st too i hearhows the cat you look after it hows your girlfriend when are you bringing her homedoyou still have the earing in cooked an eye fillet it was filling heres twenty bucksdont spend iton beerspendit ona newspacebutton went to warehouse bought a battery must dash gettingmy hairdone hopethe exams gookay andthe sheepdontscare you wheelystreefelldown by the way its smashed a fence lovenana

i wish she got to meet my wife

Popbitch strikes again

Jay Leno likes to try out his TV jokes each week
at the Comedy and Magic club, Hermosa Beach,
California. Last Sunday he started with his
standard family entertainment routine, but then
suddenly launched into a rant about how fat
Americans have become. He ended up telling a
story about a kid who was "so fat it would take
Michael Jackson an hour to molest him."

The audience went deadly silent. Leno just
shouted back, "Oh, fuck you! You'll be telling
this joke tomorrow morning, I know it!"

And they did.

Help finally arrives for UK flood victims

The Hoff has done some amazing things in recent times - so its no surprise he's popped up in England to help out the with the flooding.

Halo Heaven

In a come from behind slayer win I got a running riot and a late-in-the-piece killtacular i.e. I killed the whole other team while my team just marvelled at my mad skillz - I sword whored for the killtacular which involved a lucky grenade. Mezza so happy.

Heh, I said come.

dot dot dot

silver ferns down by 5 no surprise... is it you or is it me or is meg white becoming a better drummer... what if she lost an arm... would she and the drummer fom def leppard hook up...instead of mate would they syncopate... jeez its 9 now... new white stripes album is actually quite good, bluesy rock thang going on...lucky india saved by the rain... maybe the silver ferns should have played outdoors in moonsoon season... sold the fridge... 20 bucks...cant find optimus primes hands... what about my gi joes... and terry teo where did he go .. uh o uh o. man they should put sting ray back on tv. that would be like... wet wet wet ...sucky band killed the troggs.. is halo 3 out already... you know if you plug in the guitar hero controller in halo matching you just spin round like a record... spin the black circle.. this is not for you... nothing man... good strong rebound from williams...could this cosmopolitan be any stronger... a clean jump at the ball..tried that steinlager pure... it tastes better than other stuff but then the manatee fed me an olive oil shot the other week and i just cant get behind that.. 2 budgies.. haaa...

When Harry Potter met Halo



From Halo, Articulated.

Hawera

Hawera: Its surprisingly big. But thats it.

Sunday: Its warm inside and I have E.T on dvd

So is like that Harry Potter dead already?

Did Nirvana sell more albums than him?

Does Dave Grohl read Harry?

Why?

Why is the room spinning?

What about that netball game eh?

Dan the man.

Meet George Jetson

Cosmic shades of krpyton colours I could bleed

But its no drama

When you have all the Autobots you need

Anyway, we're off to Rendevous with Rama

We're taking GI Joe, its the American way to go



Bittten by a cobra from the Kai Klutz Klan

I toured mars in the back of a Kombi van

Interstellar speed, asteroids and heavens by way of mergatroid

Fight the future and decepticon greed

I'm just askin.

Have the Foo Fighters sold more records than Nirvana did yet?

What would it have been like if Stars Wars the video game came out first?

I'm just askin.

Sometimes I have no idea where I am

Yo, Jimmy, kick it one time boy.
Beer Beer baby.
Let the beer flow like a chemical spill…. Say wah
Beer beer to go
I’m out of beer
Word to your mother

Buy my fridge!



Its the old beer fridge - go bid!

Weekend that was: Part crashed the car, drinking at the candy bar

Friday: DVD/couch.
Sat: Hummingbird, Cavern Club, Masala
Sun: Where's my boiger?
Monday: Back at work. Jesus wept tears of blood.

Dumb and Dumber?

Weekend that was part: God I need sleep

Fri: drinkskis at Katipo Cafe with the ususal suspects. Shit service but cheap beer. Dinner for Tomasage's birthday at Ghengis Khan, Marjoribanks St. Good food, slightly over priced but good company and BYO was sweet.

Sat: Charlie Chicken's surprise 30th. Man that guy is old. Manatee put on a good show, one tequila two tequila, three tequila, floor....

Sun: All arvo on the Celtic Reds at Southern Cross. Great fun with the netball team....bought a dehumifier.

Transformers - another thought

Spoiler follows:

So if Optimus Prime has this awesome energy sword which he used to decaptiate that naught decepticon... why did he not pull out the sword when he was battling Megatron?

Hmmm???

Hello 6 year olds can see through that one.

Popbitch with a steally one..

Q: What do you call a little German who lives in a tin?
A: Heinz.

Transformers Redux

So when I was it fucking rainy ass Auckland with its congested motorways I saw Transformers.

Serious Spoilers Follow.

Highlights:

The Sword to the Face
Slow motion dodges of Missiles
Autobots Roll out!
Bumblebee's Queer Eye for the Straight Autobot makeover
Optimus Prime: One shall stand, one shall fall
When Jazz got halved
Frenzy's Gollum like mumbling and frenetic movements
When OP and Megs go through the building kinda like every comic book hero moment ever.
The Cop Car. It reminded me of T2.

Dislikes

Humans able to run away from evil decepitcons at key moments.
Megatron's Face
Lack of characterisation of the other bots.
Lack of Starscream betrayal
All Spark. Dumb idea and dumb use of it to end the battle. HELLO Megatron does not have a Creation Matrix! The fucking thing gives life! HELLO!!!!

Overall I freaking loved it! Fun Fun Fun till daddy takes the Camero away. Full of references to the cartoon and animated movie. Big action scenes. Batman references. Geeky humour. The eh eh oh eh eh transformation noise. Big Dumb american GI Joes. Was that Roadblock we saw? Bring on the sequel already! Or an origin story! whatever!

Its alright baby's coming back

So the Xbox 360 is back!!!! It went to Australia for repair! Which is very interesting because when I was on the fone with Bill Gate's polite call representative they said it was going to Auckland after I expressly asked if it was staying in the country.

So Xbox on - was required to do some kind of update. Played Call of Duty 2 for a few hours no worries. Put in Halo 2 tonight and cannot play match making cause the 'files I downloaded' or something are corrupted. So NE one got ne ideas? AM currently downloading the Blastacular pack...

So here's the dilema... Do I chance my arm like Shane Warne and chuck in the Guitar Hero 2? Cos I totally suspect this was a cause of my dramas. The returned box didn't come with any advice as to what was wrong. Could have been the heating issue.....

Either way the box is repaired - thanks again to the Consumer Guarantees Act. That said - Thanks to M/S for prompt service and repairing it with the time they said it would take.

No way I am buying a Zune when the y finally come out - wait a few gens I say.

Weekend that was part G C F C G

1. GNR: See below
2. We didn't like Auckland... no, toooo rainy
3. OJ is cool
4. Fuck Auckland, its too.... rainy
5. Transformers movie RULES OK?
6. Autobots, Roll out.
7. I like Red Wine.
8. Troy Flavel had a good game didn't he?
9. Not.
10.Clearview Estate winery takes part in those damn Pam's adds. If you are a flash winery why would you let you customers know so publicly you use Pam's products?
1. Discuss if you wish, I'm just hangin out for the Lost Final.

Shed a tear cause you were missing me ?

So GNR. What the fuck can I say but awesome show. Who gives a shit if Slash isn't in the band anymore? Not when you have Axl chomping out the verses and Robin Finck powering out the chords like a hillbilly on speed.

Set list was pretty standard for the tour, opening with Welcome to the Jungle. Well it was welcome to the Vector Arena with its shitty bass acoustics but whatever Axl's growl and the rest of the band pretty much drowned out any real sound issues.

Appetite 4 Destruction songs followed which were pretty cool. Then it was onto Axl's Civer band covering a cover of Live and Let die. I always hate the reggae part in that song but thnakfully they didn't go all Lee Scratch Perry on my ass so that was cool.

When Robin F strode out with a sunburst Les Paul I knew Sweet Child was coming and fuck it sounded pretty O for Oarsome. It would have knocked out David Tua for sure. The solo was note for note but live it doesn't quite kick out the jams (I suspect it would have with Slash's unique tone???)

But hey don't get me wrong it wasn't Robin Finck who missed a note in the first November Rain solo, it was that guy's name who know one knows...

Bumblefoot - interesting player - he like real 'technical' doing his eddie van halen finger tappin every where (right now). The Bee played a fretless guitar at one stage which I'd never heard of before. He was was quite the player actually.

Dizzy Reed played a solo piano effort. As he was playing it I knew it was naggingly familar but it wasn't until I saw the setlist and it was down as Don't Dream It's Over by Crowded House that I knew(And fuck paying 87 bucks to see Crowded House and Supergroove!).

At sum stage before or after Dizzy they knocked out You Could Be Mine which for me was the song of the show. The opening was fierce, it was fast and Axl was freaking on to it. Jezz Wayne I love that song. And Steinlager too. Actually tonight's post is bought to you by Steinlager (the impure kind) and the letter X marks the spot.

November Rain was pretty sweet with the usual Axl play around before hitting the notes proper. He appeared to look like he was enjoyng himself. The Coda is probably one of my fave GNR moments and it did not disappoint.

The New songs are really good. Despite what certain reviewers from the NZ Herald think, I was not indifferent, I knew them all thanks to limewire so when the odd start to Better began I was the dick yelling my head off. Madagascar is fairly well known and its cool. We even got Chinese Democracy which is almost irony itself.

And I think this explains why Axl lets all the band do solos while he is off taking soemthing for his voice or whatever. The guitarist play solos of varing quality. I suspect this is to show they are able muscians and are up to being in GNR. WIsh I had scene Bumblefoot do Don't Cry on Sat for that very reason. If Robin Finck came up to me and said jimmy Jangles, "I need your guitar" I would give it to him NQA because I know he would play it like a mutha fucking riot. It's what he's got. Trent should be pissed he let him go from NIN.

Axl's whistling on Patience was spot on. I couldn't help but wonder if that was trickery but he probably has done it 1000 times B4 so its like a cake walk for him.

NEwAYS I could go on but I need to bitch about that Chris Shitz Review. Get in the RING MOTHER FUCKER. Where you even at the same gig?

He says Axls voice wasn't up to it? I say Chris' ears are deaf.

He said there were four new songs. I say there were five five. See deafness comment above.

Chrissy says "Yep, it was more of a celebration of the past rather than an attempt to craft any kind of future for Guns N' Roses." Um hell the fuck o did you not listen to the new songs. Jesus weeps that you get to give reviews like this.

He says the band had short comings. I say chris has something that's short.

Rant over.

Anyway, its alright to smile if you did.
-

I posted this to Spag Incident two.

Sign up to our newsletter