Flies, Flies and more dam Flies

So Melbourne. I think I have said this before but it’s just a really efficient and cleaner Wellington. But with more flies, flies, smokers, flies and less Movember going on.

Got in about 10.30am Melbourne time after getting up at 4m Nu zillan time. Found the hotel, found some lunch down a dark alley. A greek took my order, a pommie brought it out and an American took my money. The united colours of metropolis.

Went on a ghostchase hunting a non existent DVD for the Whore, bought tickets to the Phantom of the Opera for New Year’s Day and then worked in an internet cafĂ© for too many hours preparing for the real work the next day.

Went for dinner in Lygon Street. Had the pasta, as you do. Ordered a lager and they came back with a latte! Jesus wept.

Came home, watched Becks score a cracker of a goal. Post game he gave a very friendly interview. An Ali G respect.



If it tastes like shit
Beat with a stick
If I sound like I’m thick
I believe its because I called in sick

If you’re sick of the din
And your sick mojo, overturned amps and teenage vamps
Go back to your gin,
Get back to your gin, Jojo

Suffering from a suffocating miasma
If the colours are too bright
On your HD plasma
Brown it out with vegemite

You daylight robber
You dibbly dobbler
Let it go
Let her go
Just don’t tase me bro!


Today I bought sandpaper and then drank beer and sanded. How did you earn your man card?

Its a word

Today I said 'frontbums' and everyone laughed.

Forget about the cyber ghetto, and rap for the robots...

So like his Royal Whoreness found this abomination. All I can say is that Optimus Orime better not be a Kanye West fan!

Skip the Subway

While I think of it - U2's song Zooropa is probably the best ever opening song for a U2 album. Except Zoo Station, Where the Streets Have No Name, Vertigo, Desire and Beautiful Day and Sunday Bloody Sunday of course.

What is U2's best B-side? Decide for yourself!

No Stairway? Denied!

No Battle Star? No Lost? Dammit give them what they want! Its not like any one's going to pay to download it anyway!


Incidentally this is the 1004th post on this lil blog. To celebrate, send beer. Lots of beer. Like Steinlager. Or Celtic Red. Hmmm beer.

Who had an Efficient day?

Not so good for me - but did have a nice collect at Auckland so covered my losses.

Transformers: A completely objective review

prime costume optimus

So this morning I woke up with The Clash’s garageland running around my mind. If I had been dreaming I think it was because I was lost in the supermarket making beelines to heaven or something.

Anyways got my self the new
Transformers movie on DVD. It rocks. I still love it when Prime smashes the energy sword into the face of Devastator. I watched it on slow mo three times. When the eyes pops out…I had visions of Any Given Sunday when the ref picks up the eye ball of the turf…

Robots beating up other robots is like the coolest thing ever. If Halo 3 was Robots I would never ever leave the living room. Those dear to me say I don’t anyway.

I give this movie a 5 autobots roll out out of 5.

Indeed after watching it with me, Optimus Prime said it was a good depiction of how it really was when he and Bumblebee first came to Earth and beat down Megatron. Optimus then got a lil teary oil eyed about Jazz, so me and Ratchet took him to where we buried Jazz’s halved body down by the Porsche Factory.

Later on when he had stopped blubbering I asked Optimus Prime a question – if Bumblebee can survive having his legs ripped off, why couldn’t Jazz survive a minor thing like being halved? Every one knows it’s a robot law that halved Robots can be put back together, often with hilarious consequences. Look at C3PO in Empire Strikes Back! He was a pussy and still survived. Jazz was tough as cyber nails. What say you Prime? Said I, the brave padawan.

Oppie looked at me, went all blue in the face and said, “Go fuck yourself Jimmy, you rock my casbah.”

Optimus Prime goes trick or treating

Eriq kindly alerted the Optimus Prime newsdesk to this Halloween Holiday costume:

Autobots roll out and get some candy!