The new Black Caps one day squad is out to take on England:
Daniel Vettori (captain), Brendon McCullum (vice-captain/ wicketkeeper), Jesse Ryder, Jamie How, Ross Taylor, Scott Styris, Peter Fulton, Jacob Oram, Kyle Mills, Paul Hitchcock, Chris Martin, Michael Mason, Jeetan Patel.
Some fairly young players there …Its almost a new look team - its funny how we quickly move on past the previous backbones of the side - McMillians, Tuffeys, Vincent's (I still say he SUCKED), Astles and sadly Flemings… I think we are bloody lucky Kyle Mills has hit the form of his life… now Martin has some room to breathe, in the absense of Bond, lets hope he starts to take a few wickets in the ODI arena … that said has to be while our batting line up looks like it has some real potential (Taylor will be the new Fleming in time), this must rate as one of our weakest bowling attacks in a fair time.
Also Shane Bond is still listed on the Black Caps websiteas a player… so may be there's a glimmer of hope he'll play the tests. Oh wait is that a flying bacon dispenser?
Jimmy Jangles is sloppily eating noodles.
Genius Dude says, Eating noodles I see, Jimmy
Jimmy says, “yep” and walks off.
It irks me when people make such comments. Why can’t they just say hello? Gudday? How-u-doin? It's up there with, “oh I see your wearing a Tshirt that was all you mum got you when see visited Texas” or “did you just take a breath of air”. Utter genius. This only mildly grinds my gears. I really really really get annoyed with people who press the button at the cross the street sign when the lil man is already red. You are achieving nothing so why do it? Finger strengthening exercise?
Same for people in lifts. If the lift says its going to the ground floor, pressing the G button is not going to get you there any faster. Granted you’re probably never hit the G spot before and you feel this is some kind of impersonal substitute but newsflash Romeo – only Aerosmith get to live it up when they’re going down.
Other situations abound. So like it’s a sunny day and some noodle genius equivalent goes, nice day huh. The correct response to this situation is to say yep, and then smash them in the face with a tyre iron till they have a firm, unpleasant headache. The polite response is “yep, can’t wait for the weekend” and then you go about your respectable business of smashing people in the face with tyre irons. You know they are just making conversation so you gotta give them some minor credit points because the weather commentary is a tried and true socially accepted conversation thingymajiggy. Noodle observations are not.
So to summarize I had noodles for lunch and they were tasty, if a little too salty. Thanks for asking!
In ranked matches, you've waited to respawn for: 0 days, 9 hours, 53 mins, and 15 seconds
In social matches, you've waited to respawn for: 0 days, 1 hours, 21 mins, and 0 seconds
You've caused people to waste 0 days, 9 hours, 19 mins, and 0 seconds waiting to respawn
In ranked matches, you've caused people to wait to respawn for: 0 days, 8 hours, 5 mins, and 40 seconds
In social matches, you've caused people to wait to respawn for: 0 days, 1 hours, 13 mins, and 20 seconds
Resplendent in a velvet pose
Revolving in a verdant dress
Heaven scent like a naked rose
Standing in the rain
Hoping for the pain to begin, begin again
And when she runs
And when she wants
And when she takes
So continues the never ending refrain
Over and over she spins
Like a cold wave crashing on a dead shark’s fin
Spitting in her own eye
Ordering a salty soup
And when she runs to you
And when she takes it all
And when she wants to break
It's there, watching.
Friday proved a lazy evening with a couple of Speights in the belly. The Rooster turned up for Cup day and we ashamedly watched some dumb movie with Dakota Fanning and Heather Locklear having an emotional time.
So Saturday – A cracker of day and me and Tommy and Sez and the Rooster head out to Trentham where we promptly lost all our money doing trifectas. Apres horski Jay Bee and I went to Medina on Cambridge Tce for dinner. Odd but good service, tasty food and dirty table clothes meant for an interesting meal. We left before the 50 year old belly dancers turned up.
So we then continued on to see Death at a Funeral. FARkkin funny, Frank Oz’s best work since he put his hand up Miss Piggy's arse and pashed Yoda. A slow start to introduce the required character’s traits summed to a total laugh fest as gay dwarf jokes became the play of the day. The movie was stolen by Halo 3 voice actor - Alan Tudyk whose character accidentally takes a very effective party drug and gets marvellously high and has all the best lines. Go see it.
Sunday. Played netball. got thrashed. Had a beer. Played Halo 3, made it to a rank of 30 and promotion to Major. I’m such a nerd.
Geek Alert. All those without Xboxes may go brush their teeth.
On Halo 2 my kill death ratio was 65 percent over some 2442 games. In Halo 3 I fare much better with a KD of .82 over 600 odd ranked games.
This improvement could be a function of several things...
a) by the time I joined the Halo 2 realm those still there had been playing for two years and were semi pro (and even those on the same rank were better?!)
b) there was way more de level ers on Halo 2 so more often than not I would play people far more skilled than me despite their rank being the same. Halo 3 introduced penalites quiting games so perhaps there is not soooo much of it now. So my games are fairer than before.
c) I seem to be a better small map player than large map player – maybe the new H3 maps suit my style of jumping in blindly…
d) I got better as time progressed.
e) Theres less cheating now. Bungie's Banhammer has meant there are less standby ers, modders etc…. I haven't seen a blue screen once inHalo 3 – do they even have that ?
f) No super jumps (that I've seen). So no sneaky snipers on some crazy height picking us off like that dude out of Dirty Harry. Manying fairer games.
g) Similar 2 a) by the time I got some ok skills in H2 they were transferred to H3 which had a lot of newbies playing halo for the first time – so even as I ranked up at the same time as them I was better than them, allowing me to get beyond the levels I achieved in H2. Of course I still get owned…
h) The population changed. It seems there are way more Kiwis and Australians on Xbox live now (thanks Halo!) this means connections between games are better as data probably doesn't get re routed via asia and Santa Clause's factory and the Death Star before it hits Seattle as opposed to the classic Jimmy Jangles in shitty old NZ broadbandville vs 7 Yankees on superdooper college networks. Which means better matches where matches are more even contests.
i) I've learnt to not drink and play ranked matches.. It's not like playing pool at the pub after 6 beers.
j) Like f) Lag is still a bitch but now that I switched from the Xbox having a wireless connection to good old cable I swear things have got better. I switched this week and I swear I am playing better – In the last week I got a triple Spartan laser kill, something I never did before. I also don't feel too cheated on the melee any more 4 (that's a subjective call though).
Oh I'm sorry, I've taken up all the oxygen. What's your story?
He said: "A Scientologist is somebody who can look at the world and really see it for what it is. And not just see it but be able to go 'pow' and actually do something about it. And be somebody who is not asking permission to do that. Why ask permission? We are the authorities."
Ok you win Tom. I'm convinced, sign me up. I want to meet Zenu.
Batman - Directed by 'too much focus on the Joker' directed by Tim Burton
And where is the Batman? In my Xbox 360 thank you very much – Jay Bee got me all four of the first run of the Batman movies.
So like everyone I must have seen this first one a gabillion times. 'Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?' Is probably one of the best lines of any Batman film. Well is better than, the direness of the movie that delivered the quote: 'I'll get drive through' that came later.
So I was a wee blonde school kid when this came out. I collected the cards. I was that cool. I remember this being the coolest fareking game ever on the good old C64. Now I'm just a halo nut that's been spoilt on CGA from Weta Digital so it kinda looks dated to me.
But it’s a fun ride, The Joker is a fine character, he’s all party man but gets slightly annoying after a while. His goons are annoying and stupid and probably gets too much indulgence from the director. It’s a Tim Burton ride for sure with hints at his trade mark goulishness.
The Batman: Micheal Keaton is pretty good as a first time super hero. His Bruce is a fine mix of restraint with a hint of inner demon. He always looks like he is thinking the angle. As Batman he’s slightly menacing. His fighting style was simple yet good to watch. In the post Matrix world, it's probally not very exciting for most movie goers these days but its efficient like you would expect of a Batman.
Verdict 7.5 / 10
Batman Returns Directed by 'pretty much nails it bang on' Timmy Burton
A darker, more violent feast with a fast ripping Penguin and an alluring femme feline fatale with a fetish for leather make for a better story than the first Batman. Christopher Walken as Max Shreck is an excellent Evil Capitalist Pig who bascially is the reason for the season and its the tie between every character.
Batman burns people. Batman beats people. Batman kills people. Batman gets licked by a Catwoman. I kinda like it.
The Penguin has the best lines - Danny Devito just riffs them out like a seemingly effortless Slash solo..
"You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask."
"You got to admit I've played this stinking city like a harp from hell."
"Why is there always somebody that brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?"
The Music by Danny Elfman is a step up from the first film which itself was great.
A nice ending with lots of dead and not so dead characters...
Verdict 8 Bats of of 10
Batman Forever directed by should have known better Joel Shumaker
The so called begining of end. This is merely a good film and not a great film. So everyone was therefore disappointed when it came out I guess...
Tommy Lee Johns comes in as Twoface. Annoying as a toothache mixed with a hungover. Jim Carrey is truely in his element as the Riddler going all Mask but without the somebody stop me. Nicole Kidman is suitably breathless in the presence of our favourite bat freak.
So they got in Val Kilmer this time to be bats. Apparently he said yes with out looking at the script whhch explains a lot really. As Bruce he's fine but you don'yt get the sense of a tortured soul that you get with a DC comic or even Keaton's version. That said, the moment where he briefly thinks he killed Grayson's family is good batcrazy.
As Bats its all hokeyness as he prances around in his nipply outfit with Boy Wonder Robin. Holey Rusted Metal references creep in as nods to comics and that other gay Batman abound boundingly. At least his car was cool, the best of the series I reckon.
I think the best scene was when Two Face effectively killed the Flying Graysons as he seeks out the Batman, the acrobatics where cool, the action tense. When Robin eventually decides/insists on becoming a crimefighter they make a nice nod to the comics when he suggests Nightwing as a name.
Verdick: 6 bats ot of 10
Batman and Robin directed by series killer Joey
If you were sum up this movie then the line "she wants to kill you, Dick" will get you there. Arnold is laughable as Mr Freeze. Cringe worth lines like 'cool it' made my ears burn blue. Uma Thurman as Posion Ivy is fun. Elle MacPherson in a non role proves she canot act. Alicia Silverstone? Whatever. Question? How come her suit didn't have nipples?
The Cod pieces are bigger, the nipples niplier. At least Batgirl looked alright but her costume could have been better.
Robin: Yeah yeah I'm sick of Batman taking all the press boo hoo. Chris O'Donnell should go back to pushing around Al Pacino in a wheel chair. Hoo ah!
The Batman. George Clooney. Well he must have been looney to take on this role. Did he even read the script or did he just do it for a chance to hook up with Elle MacPherson? Either way as Bruce he's fairly benign. There's no terror of bats behind his eyes, but mere happy thoughts of being raised by faithful Alfred. As a Batman, well you just knew he was going to be the worst one ever when at the moment they were needed, he had a pair of ice skates hidden in his boots.
Uma does have the best line in the movie:
Robin: I need a sign!
Poison Ivy: How about slippery when wet?
Verdict 4 batshits out of ten.
In all, some hits and misses - Let's face it, Christopher Nolan, nailed it with Batman Begins and trumped all these movies.
Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. Even those in the Animal Farm should be free to wear suncreen at least.. Autobots should have the freedom to Vote for Pedro. Freedom to climb big mountains. Free to do the Macarena after eating macaroni. Free to play cricket with a tennis ball wrapped in tape to get that outswinger just right. Free to watch Batman. Free to dress in a black cape and be Batman. Free to walk or not walk the line.
Catching the bus however is not free. You pay twice. One fare, and one rates subsidy.
Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. You can be free to choose a big television. You have the freedom to be free to decide. Free to eat cranberries. You can give away all your possessions for free. You can fire up the bad bitchin barbie, burn the sausages and give your self increased odds of getting cancer. Freedom can be the keys to the city or someone's heart.
A free lunch however is not free. There is always a sharp hook.
Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. Freedom is the right to read The Da Vinci code and think it real. Freedom is the right to read Darwin to know its its real. Freedom is two turntables and a microphone. Freedom is a calligraphy pen. Freedom is mightier than the sword and a pen. Freedom is not being penned in by peasantry. Freedom is looking at your scars in the mirror. Freedom is a bicycle.
You are free to find happiness in slavery.
"Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture
it," says the sadist.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and
then kill it," shouted the murderer.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it
and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it,
have sex with it again and then burn it," said
There was silence, and then the masochist
· James has done the vacuming and now deserves a DB.
· James rules.
· James wants to go home and play Halo 3.
· James recommends himself.
· James loves his new Transformers T Shirt.
· James had a gabillion emails apon his return to work and deleted yours.
· James suffered with temps of 41 degree in Melbourne but it was worth it for the sushi alone.
· James be spending all his money. Hi to my work friends hahahahhahahhahaa.
· James be in Melbourne b'arches!
· James would like to invite you upstairs to see his etchings.
· James has been drinking since 12 am and is a little jaded.
· James is off for an early lunch ....
· James drank a lot of Bombay Sapphire Gin last night and lived to tell the tale.
· James just realised there is no more is.
· James is feeling the need for sushi.
· James is having a Steinlager and watching the Dark Crystal.
· James is reading U2 on U2.
· James is wishing Chinese Democracy was released.
· James is maybe crazy but not dumb.
· James is Dumb No! Crazy Yes!
· James is off for a game of lawn bowls.
· James is delighted someone cooked him some eggs.
· James is farkin busy at work but is on facebook.
· James is super, thanks for asking!
· James is in Aussie, fair dinkum.
· James is the pie king.
· James is going to Melbourne tm.
· James is fucking tired and stll hates auckland.
· James is still in jaffaland.
· James is probably in Auckland.
Dear Leader noted "Sir Ed described himself as an average New Zealander with modest abilities. In reality, he was a colossus. He was an heroic figure who not only ‘knocked off' Everest but lived a life of determination, humility, and generosity."
I always liked that for someone so famous he kept his residential phone number in the white pages.
Bigger than a Mountain
Longer than the Ganges
His picture on the fiver
A bee keeper by trade
Who drove a tractor across the ice
A public hero with no vice
The very definition of Kiwi Made
This is what I've been saying for a little while now. It's the whole convenience thing against the quality. The public in general are prepared to sacrifice the quality for the convenience and portability of an MP3 against a CD or LP, which is especially great when travelling.
I would be very surprised though if you asked the average punter and they actually even knew that MP3's are poorer quality than a CD, I would assume that most of them would think they are at least equal, if not better. I saw a programme on TV a while back where they got a few people and and put a variety of MP3 players in front of them to choose from. Almost all of them chose the MP3 player that looked the best rather than based on any of the features of the product.
I know I'm in the minority amongst the masses here but I really do think it's a shame about the state of the music industry, there's just so much available now and for free that it's no longer special anymore. I also am aware that I have an MP3 player and I'm not trying to be all high and mighty as I do think they are great for the convenience factor that I've already mentioned but I still love putting on an old LP (or CD for that matter) and listening to them through a decent stereo, you simply can't beat it.
As for Pro Tools, again I've been saying this for a long time as well, things are too perfect with it and humans aren't perfect and that's what makes music interesting - the hovering around a beat when a track is recorded live in the studio; the odd mistake that you no longer hear in recordings because they are simply cut and pasted over, etc etc it all becomes so mechanical and sterile.
Size matters if you’ve been away for a time you see. That’s why sequels are bigger, noiser and have all round more hugeness than the prior. Kind of like Aliens and Terminator 2 all rolled into one. The Alienator if you will.
So this is xmas. Ham and Drambuie. You do the math. Trivial Pursuits. There were tears. There was also ham.
I can hardly remember xmas seeing as it was last month. I do recall getting a rather Owesome Optimus Prime t-shirt and a tool belt for my hammer. Stop! Hammer time Oh oh oh oh..
There was definitely some ham, I’m pretty sure about that. I read a book called The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. Best non fiction book I ever read. I think I’ll have to do a separate post on this book later.
The best fiction book I ever read being of course the Koran*. Incidentally I really liked it when Borat said, ‘Narrrrt’ in his documentary which was as real as the recent doco, Evan Almighty.
So after learning that cars need oil so they may continue to operate according to the manufacturer’s instructions, we left the sunny Hawkes Bay via Wgtn to even sunnier Melbourne. We get there and its like bloody 41.4 degrees or some other cook a chicken roast on the patio kind of temperature.
So for trainspotters, some fun activities JB and I did.
Shopping, Zoo, Aquarium, Shopping, Sushi, The Phantom of the Opera, Nick Cave Exhibition, Another Exhibition with Videos that I can’t recall the name of of, Shopping, Movies - Enchanted (Don’t Ask), Alvin and the Chipmunks (I just had to collect the set of chipmunk movies) and I am Legend (good till the shite end, god I hate god saves the day endings), Shopping, Eating at Nice Restaurants, Shopping and the odd trip to the beach in 40 plus heat! Oh and the hot bikini was worn.
So there you have it. Not really mammoth, nor mammalian, at the least twas elephantine really. I'm going to Witchita.
* This highly sought after distinction is probably a collection of horror stories I had as a child called Tales of the Uncanny. Or its Famous Five on Kirin Island.
P. fucking S. A big thank you to Vodafone for the excellent roaming service whilst overseas. Not only could I not send messages but also received the same messages over and over again. The Whore kindly directed me to his favourite bar 9 times!
Has any one noticed that the first single note (or chord?) of Halo 3's main theme song 'Finish the Fight' is very similar to the first note (chord) of the Guns N Roses epic, 'November Rain' ?
I'm just saying.