The first time I ever met him he was the same little obnoxious weed that he is now

So given the Styris', Flemings, Bonds, Vincents*, Astles, Tuffeys etc netc has any one done the maths on which country has 'donated' the most players to the India 20 /20 leagues - sanctioned or not..?

What about the Hussey decline? Can he get over like 12 lately?

Otago? Where the F did they come from?

* no great loss

Megatron: Apparently not at the bottom of a deep marine trench

So like it would be remiss of the Optimus Prime Experiement to let comment pass on this fool.

Vincent Eardley-Wilmot managed to avoid authorities in New Zealand and Canada for four years by using false names. His run ended on Friday when Justice Robert Dobson, in the High Court at Wellington, jailed him for six years and six months after he admitted importing ecstasy and lsd and conspiracy to import methamphetamine.

What was his alias? Megatron. Leader or the Decepticons. Destroyer of worlds. A mad bugger. How dumb to you have to be to go around hiding from the cops with the name Megatron? You'd stand out like a pimple on a Dinobot's ass wouldn't ya? We'll you'd think so but the bugger must have done something right for four years.

Maybe he shortened his name to Megs or something.

I heard his girl friend Arcee was also arrest on other drugs charges

It's tough being a robot

So like I was just having a beer with Optimus Prime at the Feathers. I can tell you he was seriously bummed out that he didn't win the Best Actor Oscar. I didn't get him started about his Golden Globes snub but you could tell he was still hurting

Owen Glenn me paid $1m for this blog

Now that the cat's out of the bag I want everyone to know that expatriate billionaire Owen Glenn paid me one million dollars to start this blog. It was not a donation, just cold hard cash. Which I spent on Pokies, Steinlager and funding the Brethen Church's Out Reach programme.

I called Owen this morning after all the media coverage and he confirmed that it was also him who paid for Shane Bond to defect to the Indian 20 / 20 league, paid for the Spice Girls to reform (Sporty was his favourite) and arranged for the Loch Ness Monster to retire to Bemuda.

Incidentally, I met Glenn at a bar in Monaco when I filmed the new James Bond movie. He was having a hard time picking up the ladies. I gave him a few pointers like how to stand and be cool, some tricks with a lighter, how to drink your whiskey proper and he was away.

What's the difference between...

What's the difference Jarek Goebel and Jonah Lomu? Jarek can spell his own name.

Supernatural superserious

OMG its good.

Slash: Not your average Joe according to his biography

Slash Biography Review 

So like I just finished reading Slash's biography. Its a totally faciniating insight into what makes him tick and it serves to put the whole GNR I hate Axl rose thing in context.

Some great stories are shared. Most of them involve fucking, or drugs, combinations of the two and stories of how the band got together, had sex with anything that looked their way, sold a few albums and broke up.

The story that comes to mind right away is Slash and Izzy are having sex with a some girl (its always some girl). As he is not using a condom, Izzy pulls out at the apt timing.. and serves his load all over Slash's leg.

Slash's decision to become a musician is amusing for his nativity.

He found this professional bass player who agreed to teach him if he turned up with a guitar. So Slash gets from his beloved grandmother an acoustic guitar which only has one string on it. So he turns up for his first lesson with the guitar and his first lesson is thus the difference between a bass guitar and a 6 string...

Some interesting facts:

  • November Rain in its original form as a jam thing was over 18 minutes long.
  • You can melt down Oxy Contin and inject yourself with it.
  • Slash did the soundtrack for Beverly Hills Cop 3
  • Slash played on a Rod Stewart album.

Autobots, Roll out!

Check out these dudes as they show off their Transformers costumes.. I love the Constructicon.

And for the record, that's not the real Optimus Prime.