Ian Smith: Working Class Commentator

Cricinfo is full of great quotes from players, chairmen and commentators. I enjoyed this one from Ian Smith who is iconic to all Kiwis as a wicket keeper who could club fours when required. He's definitely a social chap and so its no surprise he came back to Mike Atherton with this:

"Cut it out! I drink in public bars with the best of them thank you very much. I'm not some Cambridge wally."

Context: Ian Smith responds to Mike Atherton's joky jibe that he spent an evening drinking in a working man's club in Manchester

Smith's most memborable hour for the kiwi team came at Auckland in 1990-91 when he smashed a 173 off 136 balls including 24 off one over from Atul Wassan. I remember watching him on the telly and he was hitting fours to the on side when the ball was pitched at the off. People like me still talk about this!

Jimmy Jangles goes sailing

jimmy jangles

Here's Jimmy Jangles sailing on the Waitemate Harbour in Auckland. Not that you'd know!

Where in the world is Penelope Barr?

Whatever did happen to Penelope Barr? Last I heard she married Johnny from Shortland Street but that collapsed like a weather bomb in the Waikato, Nu Zillan.

You see what I did there didn't you? Made a joke about Penelope being a weather presenter didn't I?

Penelope got up to some crazy adventures as a weather presenter, why once I recall she, she got comment that the weather would be fine and sunny for the Doctor Who convention being held in Auckland, Nu Zillan.

Penelope also helped host the much loved TV show, What's in the Bag? with John Hawkesby. What was in the bag was actually usually an old sock, Invercargill, but sometimes you'd get a nice new washing machine and everyone would go home happy the dishes would be clean at Audrey's place. Not that they were ever not clean at Audrey's place you understand, more that they would be cleaner. Penelope Barr understood this of course and was well respected for it.

Next on Jimmy Jangles: Where in the world is Steve Parr?

Google's Trends: All Blacks vs Black Caps

So like I discovered Google's Trends software programme. It's used to monitor the trend of search terms on the google search engine. The theory is if you are doing some search engine optimisation amd wish to choose a relevant keyword or search term you can see if it might have relevance.

I thought it would be amusing to do some comparisons of search terms related to New Zealand.

All Blacks vs Black Caps

So here's the search trend for the All Blacks compared to the Black Caps.



The All Blacks are the blue. You can see the huge spike when the rugby world cup was on in 2007. Curiously a similar spike (or proportional one at least) did not occur when the Black Caps played in the West Indies Cricket World Cup. As you would expect, the popularity of the All Black key word is seasonal.

Implication: I should blog about the All Blacks and Dan Carter in winter...

Helen Clark vs John Key

Helen Clark is the Prime Minister of New Zealand, John Key is hoping he is going to be the next. The comparison shows that as a search term Helen Clark (appropriately in Labour party colour of Red) is more popular than John Key... The NZ region data shows this is about 4 to 1. Interestingly, Key ( National blue) cleans up in the news reference volumes however (bottom graph).



Implication: Ian Wishart was really thorough in his research for his Helen Clark biography...

Batch vs Crib

North Islanders generally call their beach house a batch and the people down south who roll their R's and eat suedes call them cribs. It's cos they are so gangster. One should be a lil more circumspect about my framing as batch and crib have so many other meanings (e.g. a batch of cookies, MTV's Crib show) but when google breaks it down to New Zealand and not the ROTW (not in picture) it shows batch is more commonly searched for than crib by about 10 to 1.



Implication: I need a holiday.

Tim Finn vs Neil Finn

Off the top of my head I guessed Neil Finn would overshadow his older brother as he has had more international exposure and has been quite outspoken at times. And I was right for the whole of the world but the NZ data has them pretty even, with Neil just slightly ahead.



Implication: The Finn bros should do another album together.

Kiwi vs Koala

A bit of a NZ vs Aussie comparison... interestingly enough Kiwi is a more popular search term than Koala except for a spike when there was some news about Koala sperm (sounds as cool as the ejaculation helmet for the Kakapo...)



Clearly, the term Kiwi (blue) is used to describe New Zelanders and those cute lil fullas with brown feathers so it going to have several search term meanings and will rate more than koalas. For the NZ data Kiwi is about 100 to 1 more popular than the leaf eaters, whereas in Australia Koala only beats Kiwi by 2 - 1.

Implication: We should farm kiwis and kakapo to prevent extinction.

So while I'm at it I'll do Kiwi vs Aussie



As a search term, Kiwi (blue) is more popular than Aussie but in terms of news reference volume it seems Aussie is just ahead in 2008.

Implication: Kiwis both feathered and rugby loving are more popular than Aussies.

So like there's that was a bit of a fun bit of research... I'm surprised Kiwi is more popular than Aussie as a search term, not so about the All Blacks or Clark. You can really see how Google's Trends could be used by people to really target search engine optimisation and get those adsense clicks ...

Check out some other SEO related posts I have done:


The Angels and Demons Guide to high rankings on Google via SEO

Proof SEO Works


What would Matt Cutts do?

Remember that Night - David Gilmour DVD Review

So like when I was in Auckland last week I scored myself a copy of David Gilmour's Remember that Night. For those of you old enough to remember or cool enough to check them out, David Gilmour was the guitarist for Pink Floyd. So I'm gonna review it for you...

Since Roger Waters left Pink Floyd in a real huff in the mid 1980s, Pink Floyd has largely been the moniker for a David Gilmour solo album i.e. Momentary Lapse of Reason and The Division Bell. I guess a reluctance to continue as Pink Floyd has lead to Gilmour to release his third solo album, On An Island

david gimour

It's a melodic piece, with a brilliant opening track, Castellorizon, which is a basically a guitar solo with a few melodies that hint at things to come throughout the rest of the album. But who am I to say? Rolling Stone magazine:

"It's a crawling headphones record that puts germs of ideas - leaden riffs, astral soundscapes, hazy psychedelia - where fully realized songs ought to go. "

That sounds a lil grumpy so lucky for David The Guardian was more enthused:

"The title track sums up both the album's appeal and its limitations: a slow, anthemic waltz with modest lead vocals, sweetly sung harmonies (courtesy of David Crosby and Graham Nash), lashings of overdubbed guitars, sweeping orchestrations and a big solo at the end."

So all this leads to David Gilmour filming a DVD of of a London concert where he plays the whole of On an Island with his regular backing band - being regular Pink Floyd performers over the years and even Richard Wright himself on keyboards.

The concert is called Remember that Night which is a lyrical taken from the album.

david gilmour remember that night

The concert kicks of with a few old school Pink Floyd Songs from Dark Side of the Moon and then launches into the whole On An Island. I sat there enthralled at the sounds and songs. Everyone complains about bands that just do endless solos, well I love that and that's what I got.

After the album, they got back into some Pink Floyd numbers. The band is sharp and know there places. I was heartened to see Richard Wright totally loving playing Coming Back to Life.

And then they played a song I'd never heard before called Echoes. I knew it existed as a song as it was the title of a Pink Floyd Greatest hits album and was originally recorded in 1971. This song is a monster epic and you you know what I thought midway, it sounds like the Phantom of the Opera. I couldn't believe it so I looked it up on Wikipedia and sure enough Roger Waters is quoted as saying

"Yeah, the beginning of that bloody Phantom song is from Echoes. *DAAAA-da-da-da-da-da* [sic]. I couldn't believe it when I heard it. It's the same time signature - it's 12/8 - and it's the same structure and it's the same notes and it's the same everything. Bastard. It probably is actionable. It really is! But I think that life's too long to bother with suing Andrew fucking Lloyd Webber".

Which totally explains why on Roger Water's song Amused to Death (which I first heard when I watched his In the Flesh DVD last month) he rants about human behaviour and that of Andrew Loyd Weber, who wrote The Phantom of the Opera:

"We cower in our shelters, with our hands over our ears Lloyd Webber's awful stuff runs for years and years and years / An earthquake hits the theatre, but the operetta lingers / Then the piano lid comes down and breaks his fucking fingers / It's a miracle"

Remember, I'd never heard the song before but I saw the Phantom In Melbourne in January so I knew what it was when I heard.

Anyways Echoes is a mega epic rock song and its worth watching Remember that Night for that song. Or you could watch it on youtube.

Now if I was a proper journalist I'd probably write a really witty closing off paragraph here but I'll suggest you just watch this:



Extra for Experts:

Heres the concert set list for Remember that Night

"Speak to Me"
"Breathe"
"Time"
"Breathe (Reprise)"
"Castellorizon"
"On an Island" (with David Crosby and Graham Nash)
"The Blue" (with David Crosby and Graham Nash)
"Red Sky at Night"
"This Heaven"
"Then I Close My Eyes" (with Robert Wyatt)
"Smile"
"Take a Breath"
"A Pocketful of Stones"
"Where We Start"
"Shine On You Crazy Diamond, Pts. 1-5" (with David Crosby and Graham Nash)
"Fat Old Sun"
"Coming Back to Life"
"High Hopes"
"Echoes"
"Wish You Were Here"
"Find the Cost of Freedom" (with David Crosby and Graham Nash)
"Arnold Layne" (with David Bowie)
"Comfortably Numb" (with David Bowie)

E=MC2?

Would it be wrong to think that Mariah Carey could to a really excellent version of Fur Patrol's Lydia?

I'm just asking.

The Spaghetti Incident?

If you like Concert Set Lists, then visit The Spaghetti Incident? for a free subscription. It has heaps of set lists from all the current tours including Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, Kiss and Duran Duran.

-

Yes, this is an add. Sue me like Steven Addler did to GNR!

Radiohead Set List Dallas Texas Superpages

Radiohead played a concert in Dallas, Texas at the Superpages.com Centre.

Radiohead Set List

18 May 2008

Setlist:

01. All I Need
02. There There
03. 15 Step
04. Bangers and Mash
05. Nude
06. Pyramid Song
07. Weird Fishes/Arpeggi
08. The National Anthem
09. Dollars and Cents
10. Faust Arp
11. Videotape
12. A Wolf At The Door
13. Optimistic
14. Reckoner
15. Everything In Its Right Place
16. Idioteque
17. Bodysnatchers

Encore One:

18. Fake Plastic Trees
19. Jigsaw Falling Into Place
20. House of Cards
21. Exit Music (For A Film)
22. The Bends

Encore Two:

23. You and Whose Army?
24. Paranoid Android

More Radiohead sets lists can be found here.

For those old enough to remember, here's the wiki for the 80s Show Dallas

The Spaghetti Source.

Weekend that Was Pt JAFFA

Flew to Auckland

Drank beer, wine and Appletin Rum
Had a roast, with some wine
Went to a giant mall, had a beer
Went to Capri for Italian, had a wine or six
Went to some place in Mission Bay for bacon and eggs
Went match racing on the harbour, KZ7 style

Flew to Wellington

Lazy Lenin Licked Lentils Lovingly and Lavishly

It was that wise fellow Lenin said who once remarked that quantity has a quality of its own. I think he may have been referring to having the most marbles in the play ground being a good thing. Lenin did not like to share you see. He pretended he did, but he didn't.

Lenin was also fond of lentils. I have no idea why.

How many is a googillion?

Here's a thought on American Idol - that more people will vote over the current series of American Idol than will vote for Barrack Obama and John McCain in the American Presidential election.
 
As usual I do some inscrutable cabbage maths:
 
Every week 20 million people vote for David Cook or just happy to be there for the exposure wannabe. American Idol runs for like 20 years. Multiply that by the people voting for Ryan Seacrest and you get 5000 million billion votes for Idol.
 
America has an exact population of 199,999,007 people. If every single one of them voted for Obama or the dude that enjoyed 5 odd years at the Hanoi Hilton, you would only get 199,999,007 votes. Which is about 75 googillions short of what American Idol gets.
 
I know I'm write about this, Ben Stiller helped with the maths.
 
The policy implications are clear - Obama and McCain should have a sing off on the seasonal end of American Idol. The person with the most ring in votes can be President and have a generic well produced but with no memorable melody number one hit.

Do Not Read The Link In This Post

Man vs Clown delivers a genius post. I sincerely warn you, this is not safe for work, mothers, grandmothers, sisters or people with nervous disorders.

But it is extremely funny.

Jimmy Jangles #1

This lil website is the number one google search result term for 'jimmy jangles'.
 
Yay me!

Shaved my hair off!

jimmy jangles
So like I cut all my hair off to a number 4 with the clippers...

Halo 3 Heaven

Halo 3 is heaven. And here's why - In the Double Experience Points weekend for Snipers, I got my first double triple kill right at the end of the game. A weak opposition and a lucky grenade dodge helped!

Here's the screen shots from the first triple kill - the planets aligned...
for a shottie effort - followed up by a double kill grenade and a final snipe to finish and get us a steak dinner from Lukems.



Bring out the Gimp

You wanted the best? Well they didn't make it, instead you get Jimmy Jangles. So it's time for some ramble tamble, credence clear water style. Yes, that's you, you fortunate son. Has any one seen my farking car keys? OMG where the fuck are you keys? Please come back, all is forgiven. I'll put CRC on the lock, I'll rub you with Brasso until you shine like Collective Soul. Just come back. No questions asked.

Second point. There is no second point. Maybe you should do the dishes. Then play some Faith No More. Why? Because they care a lot and are better than Kiss.

Kid Rock. Under rated.

I was talking to Albi the Racist Dragon last night and he accused me of being racist. I told him that was the pot calling the kettle black and he said "See Jimmy Jangles? You just proved my point, you american idiot"

Infuriated by his cunning I told him a joke. "What do you call an asian driver in a BMW?

"A driver, you racist dragon" I shouted as I through the the last of my yum bubble gum pie at him. And suddenly Albie caught a bus home.

Speaking of XBox hows that GTA IV coming along? Beat anyone one up with an improbably sized pink dildo yet?

Bring out the gimp. Yum.

It's better than the Bat Phone

Can I get a Jesus Phone please?
 
Like now.
 
I wants
 
I wants
 
I wants

Flight of the Conchords Billboard Debut - It's business time

So like The Flight of the Conchords have taken their mantra of "It's business time' to heart and cashed in on their deserved fame and released the folk parody album "Flight of the Conchords: Soundtrack".

The incredibly scary thing is that it debuted at number 3 on the Americal Billboard charts - the highest album from a band from New Zealand ever. It beats the previous best of Crowded House's debut at 12. No matter what happens, they will now always have that over Mr Neil Finn. And they might be pretty happy about that acutally - on their official website they state "Flight of the Conchords are not from Taranaki, they are from Wellington. Neil Finn is not from Wellington, he is from Taranaki.*"

For the record, I'm from Hastings, not Taranaki.

Having an album sell over 52,000 copies in the United States is a long way from Comedy Night at the old Indigo Bar in Cuba Street innit? Brett and Jermaine sold more albums than Ashlee Simpson who came in at Number Four. That's the context - they beat Jessica's pregnant sister. Mariah Carey was number one with E=MC2. She probably thinks the E stands for Esctacy.

This sucess comes on the back of a Grammy last year. Admittedly it was just a minor one for comedy album or something but nonetheless they beat out Harry Shearer of Simpsons fame for it.

If you have watched your Flight of the Chords DVD serious one too many times but need more Jermaine I suggest you go and rent Eagle Vs Shark - Its a zany lil movie with Jermain Clement playing an odd nuerotic fellow trying to fall in and out of love with someone just as odd as him - she's no Mel though!


Here's the track listing - the classics from before they were famous nowhere but here in Wellington such as Bowie, Kiss is not a contract and Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros are here.

1. Foux du Fafa
2. Inner City Pressure
3. Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros
4. Think About It
5. Ladies of the World
6. Mutha'uckas
7. Prince of Parties
8. Leggy Blonde
9. Robots
10. Boom
11. A Kiss is Not a Contract
12. The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room
13. Business Time
14. Bowie
15. Au Revoir

Here's the set list from their recent New York concert.

* I was amused to find that http://www.conchords.co.nz/ has not been updated since 2006 (Wise up Murry, its the number one google hit - put some google adsense on it at least ! That's poor band management that!?)

Bog Geldof: One, George Bush: Nil

   Bob Geldof gave President George Bush a copy
   of his book "Geldof in Africa" during a recent
   flight on Air Force One.

   "Who wrote this for ya, Geldof?" joked Dubya.

   Quick as flash Saint Bob replied: "Who will
   you get to read it for you, Mr President?"
 
From Popbitch.

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