Like the onset of some cold glaucoma dimming away the world - The Road

Well hello there. Did you miss me? I hate clutter. But I love the iphone. Best feature? GPS. Worst Feature? It can't do my homework but at least I can still blame that on the dog. Not that I have a dog. The fleas are debatable I guess.

Thirsty? Jimmy Barry Cover Drive.

Hungry? Hell's Pizza.

Complaints? See management, I just work here man.

Jimmy Jangles is reading The Road by Cormanc McCarthy of No Country for Old Men fame.ish.ness. Frankly, this book would have made Jesus wept more than the time Judas betrayed him. Or was that Peter Piper the Cock Crow eater? Heh, I said cock. Not coke, cock. heh

Not that Jesus could read English, mind you.

Forget the story for a moment and read the writing - it is pure literary porn. This line is from the first page of The Road and just by itself it conjures up a bleakness that no frost could ever predict:

"Like the onset of some cold glaucoma dimming away the world"

Neways 1 it just sets the tone perfectly.

NE ways 2 it makes Z for Zacharia look like a kids book. Oh wait, I was 13 when I read that...

Why you have to be so complicated?

Iphone Crimes Part: The first of many

So like is it wrong to have listened to Avril's sk8ter boi 3 times today?

Paul McCartney's awesome Quebec concert set list

Paul McCartney's awesome Quebec concert set list can be found on The Spaghetti Incident?

free speech for the dumb

free speech for the dumb

free speech for the dumb
freedom to suck your bloody thumb
pre-paid taxes for the rich
a man becomes a mum
the rest may drown in a ditch
let them eat cake
as they watch the hollywood remake

congested traffic and congested noses
no time to listen to the gospel of moses
fair trade, fair play and cold play
it was bullrush with rocks in socks in my day
the queen used to be victoria
now he stands on the corner
turning tricks so she gets her fix, boy

coke is cheaper than milk and what about the fizzy
reality tv awash with leaky homes and bad parents
cost of petrol fumes makes me dizzy
the pope apologises as the church repents

WTF Bungie? Fix Your Game?

In a letter to fans published on the official Bungie website today, the Halo 1, 2 and 3 maker blamed its unnamed publisher for lack of E3 news.

JJ says WTF Bungie? Fix Your Game! No Halo Blue? I am Blue. Somewhere an angry Mister Chief Is Pawning Noobs in a blue rage.

mister chief halo blue angry e3

"For the last several months, we've been building towards a reveal of something exciting that Bungie is working on," wrote Bungie president Harold Ryan, in a letter to fans published at 7:00pm PST on Tuesday evening. "We were looking forward to sharing that with our fan community during the week of E3. However, those plans were just changed by our publisher.

"We realize that many of our fans are disappointed by this turn of events; members of the Bungie team share that disappoint," Ryan added.

Last week, the official Bungie podcast teased a "new game announcement" to be made on or around July 14, the same day as Microsoft's E3 press briefing. No announcement was made, however, either by Microsoft or any other publisher.

"When the right time comes, we look forward to sharing this exciting announcement with you," concluded Ryan. "Until then, we appreciated your continued support and patience."

Day Dream Jobs I Idly Dream About Having

Day Dream Jobs I Idly Dream About Having

  • Rhythm guitarist for Oasis (We'll have lasagna for tea)
  • Bungie media dude (find out the hell is going on first)
  • Assistant to McGyver (pocket knife sharpening, paper clip collection etc)
  • All Blacks Coach (I'll bring back the biffo, and Buck
  • The Grim Reaper
  • TVNZ programme (no more reality tv or news aimed at 12 years)
  • Professional Cynic (But my heart's not innit)
  • Optimus Prime's Strategic Advisor (We'd take Megatron apart piece by piece and not dump him in the ocean)

Oasis Dig Out Your Soul Cover and Track Listing Released

Manchurian Candidates, Oasis, are gearing up to release their new album, Dig Out Your Soul.

Jimmy Jangles is mega happy about this - the last album was brilliant Oasis, back to their WTSMG best - critically, if not commercially out side of Britain anyway.
Swear I'm Not Paul tipped me off that the Oasis album cover is out. I would describe it as one of those 'Cool Beatles/Britannia' ones. The cover is an original piece of art by London-based designer, Julian House. It features a pair of hands cradling some kind of exploding drum. Butterflies flit about, while an eyeballs stares obliquely off to the side while a newspaper asks the viewer to 'Come in, Come out!'. Which we know now as a lyric from The Shock of the Lightning. Full consideration of the cover is on The Swamp Song.

oasis dig out your soul album cover image picture
The first single from the Dig Out Your Soul album will be "The Shock of the Lightning" written by Noel Gallagher, to be released on September 29 this year. Based on recent single releases by Oasis, there's no doubt it will hit the British Charts at number 1.

Noel Gallagher has bragged of the song: "If ‘The Shock of the Lightning’ sounds instant and compelling to you, it’s because it was written dead fast. And recorded dead fast. ‘The Shock of the Lightning’ basically is the demo. And it has retained its energy. And there’s a lot to be said for that, I think. The first time you record something is always the best”.

Here's the track listing for Dig Your Own Soul

  1. "Bag It Up" - 5:12
  2. "The Turning" (Andy Bell) - 4:32
  3. "Waiting for the Rapture" - 4:57
  4. "The Shock of the Lightning" - 4:24
  5. "I'm Outta Time" (Liam Gallagher) - 5:20
  6. "(Get Off Your) High Horse Lady" (Gem Archer) - 5:07
  7. "Falling Down" - 4:18
  8. "To Be Where There's Life" - 5:35
  9. "Ain't Got Nothin" (L. Gallagher) - 3:32
  10. "The Nature of Reality" - 4:48
  11. "Gigi" - 1:05 (Japanese Bonus Track)

All songs are by Oasis mainstay, Noel Gallagher except where noted. There's two from Liam Gallagher and I'll be taking a keen interest in those to see if he has progressed from Songbird and the Meaning of Soul which where basically E and G chord variations.

Here's a recently released video of the making of The Shock of the Lightning which is the first single from Dig Out Your Soul.

Iphones are sold out in Wellington!

So like Iphones are sold out in Wellington. You cannot get one of any size or colour from Magnum Mac, Vodaphone Lambton Quay or Digital Mobile.

Word on the street suggests there are only 400 iphone 2.0's in the country inc all the promos etc so these things are rarer than a successful All Black World Cup!

Update JJ gives his Iphone Review over here...

What I don't understand that if Apple is so keen to have a successful launch why have they not catered for more numbers? Surely they could have built enough phones for the launch in all 21 countries.

Or does NZ Vodaphone get mere lip service? Jesus Wept.

21 Dumb Things to never post on your blog

People do dumb things all the time, like when they go for Darwin Awards. The internet helps dumb people do dumb things faster and more efficiently. Here's how not be be dumb.

21 Dumb things to never post on your blog:

1. Telling the world how you banged the boss' daughter last night and how she came like a train. Tickets Please.
2. Admitting your love for show tunes
3. Admitting to stealing the companies office supplies and reselling them on Ebay.
4. Announce what you dreamed last night. No one gives a fig.
5. Your bank account password. You may as well mail Nigeria your money.
6. What cream you are using for those pesky lice.
7. How you lied on your resume or cv.
8. About the time you secretly poured sugar in your ex's petrol tank. He still reads your blog.
9. How you scamed the insurance company for thousands.
10. How you really enjoyed John Mayer's concert series.
11. Your vacation holiday dates / times and places and where your spare key is.
12. The WEP key to your Wifi. I will come to your house and steal it. And your broadband.
13. Put up your plans to make your stuff redundant
14. Dumb lists about things to not blog about. Put up some cute kittens instead.
15. Your tax audit. We already know you are poor.
16. There is no 16, goh!
17. Details of your inability to get it up.
18. Actually forget the kittens. We hate kittens.
19. Your IRD/IRS number.
20. A stamp (screen gets all messed up)
21. Pictures of you and the misses, sharing your brains out. Instead email them to me!

Veni, Vedi, Veitch

The Latin phrase Veni, Vedi, Vici should perhaps be replaced by a new, more Kiwi phrase:

Veni, Vedi, Veitch.


I noticed some dude made a joke in the same vein as above..

What did Julius Caesar say when he beat up his missus ? Veni, Vedi, Veitchy

Cold Storage / Halo 3 / First Impressions: Here's to you Mrs Robinson

So the free Cold Storage map for Halo 3 given as a present by Bungie to its fans to celebrate Bungie Day has hit the Xbox Live for download.

My first impressions are that it is a really fast map where the best way to play is up from up high on the various platforms that are available.

There are plenty of corridors so throwing the spam grenade is almost compulsory down those.

As I said it plays really fast and given the platforms from which to jump down for an attack there's not much room to camp - if you are one on one with a noob, watch your back cos a ranked up fulla is just an assassination away.

The general colour of the map is a light blue which is apt give the cold storage name. It has an icy feel, but the plasma grenade I got to the face sure warmed me up quick.

Are you trying to seduce me Mr Master Chief?

are you trying to seduce me mrs robinson halo 3 cold storage

This map is a great close quarter map and should be good for lonewolves and social slayer, odd ball etc. It will be interesting to see what the Forge Fantics come up with.

The Forerunner Flood Research Facilty concept gives me an Alien Resurrection vibe. I half expect to see a deformed Ripley demanding to be killed with a flame thrower...

One of the cooler things (Ice to meet you!) is that when you go from room to room you get er... chilling sound effects - including some from Halo 2 - reminds of when you play the Arbiter when you invoke his invisibility...

Big Sombrero Hats off to Bungie who gave this map away free - it cetainly would have cost them some man hours to pull this off.

Any one else starting to miss Frankie?

Here's the introductory vidoc for Cold Storage

Oh and Hawty McBloggy shares the love for Bungie, big time.

Vodaphone IPhone NZ Pricing Plans

Update JJ gives his Iphone Review over here...dCould I have been more wrong about the Iphone pricing plans?

Many Kiwis are complaining that the eagerly awaited iPhone 3G, due to go on sale on Friday, is too expensive.

From Stuff

Vodafone is selling Apple's 8 gigabyte iPhone 3G from $199, but to get this price customers must sign up to a 24-month plan charging $250 per month. The plan includes voice calls, SMS and 1GB of data per month.

Click here to see the plans.

Other plans charge $80 or $130 per month for 250MB and 500MB respectively, with the 8GB handset costing $549 or $449 respectively.

The 16GB iPhone models cost $150 more in each case.

Vodafone isn’t selling the iPhone on pre-pay in New Zealand.


The price of the phone is expensive, the plan seems reasonable compared to other existing plans. Of cousre New Zealand still pays very high mobile phone rates compared to ROTW.....


Original Post:

So like Vodaphone New Zealand just sent me this email about Apple's iphone pricing plans....

So if one compares the plans that have been released overseas, it's going to $199 for the 8 gig model and double for the 16 gig at $399. So it's great to see Vodaphone is not going to totally gouge out a massive profit.

They will get that profit from the call plans of course, and we'll find out about data caps etc on Tuesday morning.

I cannot.hardly.fareeking.wait.

This Friday 11 July at 00:01, the new iPhone 3G hits the shelves in three Vodafone stores nationwide. They are:

Vodafone stores
The iPhone 3G will be available in other
Vodafone stores from 9am, check out the stores map for locations. You'll also be able
to buy from the Vodafone Online Shop on
Friday 11 July at 00:01.

The iPhone 3G starts from $199 on a two year contract. We'll be releasing full price and plan
iPhone 3G portrait
details tomorrow at 10am, Tuesday 8 July 2008, at

Five of the corniest Lines in Movie History

The Top 5 Corniest Lines in Movie History

Corny lines are a staple of a many a  movie. Some are intended to be that way, some are so earnest and dumb they become corny. "King of the World" anyone?

1. 'She's going to kill you, Dick' -Batman Forever

And so Batman George Clooney delivered the worst pun ever in Batman history to Dick Grayson and in doing so almost single handedly killed the Batman franchise. This movie has some terrible Arnie Acting too. Who can forget, "Ice to meet you"?

2. "Let off some steam, Bennet" - Commando

Inclusion of the Commando is a must in a list of corny lines as it has two of the greatest lines Arnold Swarzwn-too-hard-to-spell ever uttered in a movie. 'Let off some steam, Bennet' - is of course the perfect  line for when you have just rammed a steam pipe into your enemy's chest:

The other line of course being "I let him go".... literally. Yeah we got it, you dropped him of a cliff, we see what you did there.

3. 'I never forget a pussy... cat' - Austin Powers International Man of Mystery

vanessa kensington liz hurley austin powers

He's shagadelic baby and has some of the corniest lines in history. This is just a taste of what the movie had to offer - and it only got worse with the sequels...*

Austin Powers: That's Dr. Evil's cat!
Vanessa Kensington: How can you tell?
Austin Powers: I never forget a pussy... cat.

*What's it to be baby? Spits or Swallows?

4. "You can be my wing man anytime." Top Gun

In the best ever movie with Tomcats in it, Val Kilmer chats up a young Tom Cruise with this gem of a compliment. Danger Zone indeed.

5. “I’m the king of the world!” Titanic

Even though you only saw this moviebecause you had a hot date, you gotta admit you loved the last hour when everyone died. Why? Because of that damn corny line. You were pleased Jack did finally let go of Rose but were less pleased ,when your date was too upset at the end of the movie to give you any action. Here's Titanic director James Cameron making a dick of himself at the Oscars..

What's your favourite corny line from a movie?

Hey Vodaphone (Dudes)? Where's my iphone call plan?

So like it's June 4 (nearly) and thus one week till the Iphone 2.0 comes out and the call and data plans are still not out? What's that all about Vodaphone? We bessech us, we needs I phonzE!!

Jay-Z Vs Noel Gallagher/Oasis - Who has the Best Songs?

After the verbal tirade from Noel over Jay-Z's headlining of Glastonbury and Jay-Z's awesome response, I thought I would simply write down my favourite songs of each artist.

Here is a list of my favorite songs by Noel Gallagher, who is the lead song writer for Oasis:

Rock N Roll Chair
Live Forever
Some Might Say
Champagne Supernova
D'Yer Know What I Mean?
All Around the World
Roll with It
Go Let It Out
Fucking in the Bushes

Here is a list of My Favourite Songs by Jay-Z, a rapper only famous in the main stream world for being married to Beyonce. He's Kind of like Keith Urban for rappers I guess.

Wonderwall (Noel Gallagher Cover)