Willie Apiata

Willie Apiata ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Willie Apiata can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Willie Apiata destroyed the periodic table, because Willie Apiata only recognizes the element of surprise

Willie Apiata can touch MC Hammer

Willie Apiata can divide by zero

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Willie Apiata pajamas.

Willie Apiata has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.

He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Willie Apiata once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

It takes Willie Apiata 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Willie Apiata CAN believe it's not butter.

If you spell Willie Apiata in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Willie Apiata can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Willie Apiata can slam a revolving door.

Willie Apiata doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

If at first, you don't succeed, you're not Willie Apiata.

Willie Apiata and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

Willie Apiata can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Willie Apiata is the reason why Wally is hiding.

Google won't search for Willie Apiata because it knows you don't find Willie Apiata, he finds you.

Willie Apiata once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Willie Apiata re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Willie Apiata is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Willie Apiata' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

Willie Apiata counted to infinity - twice...

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Willie Apiata.

Willie Apiata invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light, except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. 

Willie Apiata once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

In the beginning there was nothing.....then Willie Apiata Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". 

Source: unknow