Does Tiger Woods owe you an apology?


TFLN: Optimus Prime


Things that make u go hmmm...

(412): the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named
Optimus Prime
(724): ...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname

The Third Transformers movie is apparently Doomed



I was watching a rerun of Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom when Optimus Prime walked in. "Fuck Micheal Bay" he said, "he's got me doing some weird shit in the third movie!" And I was like, "dude watch Indianna Jones man, this is how you make a sequel." So we watched Han Solo save India from a really crazy heart surgeon while we drank a nice chianti with some fava beans for snackies.

After Jones stepped on Short Round, Optimus had another slug of the chianti and said. "Fuck me, Jimmy Jangles, maybe if Micheal stole the plot from Indianna Jones, the third TF movie would be sweet as cheese mate!"

I replied. "First things first my heavy metal friend. I'm not gonna fuck you, I can't afford the medical bills. Second, there's no way people are gonna want to see you run around with a whip chasing after Kate Capshaw, however hot she is."

Prime chortled, "yeah, she's way hotter than Megan, and way less bitchy to boot!" Prime finished the chianti, looked at me, burped and then said he had to go talk to his agent.

I nodded and ate some beans.

How Sad




Here's lyrics to How Bizarre - a song that mirrored my first year at University (that and Oasis, lots of Oasis).

Brother Pele's in the back, sweet Zina's in the front
Cruisin' down the freeway in the hot, hot sun
Suddenly red-blue lights flash us from behind
Loud voice booming, "Please step out onto the line"
Pele preaches words of comfort, Zina just hides her eyes
Policeman taps his shades, "Is that a Chevy '69?"

How bizarre
How bizarre, how bizarre

Destination unknown, as we pull in for some gas
Freshly pasted poster reveals a smile from the past
Elephants and acrobats, lions snakes monkey
Pele speaks "righteous," Sister Zina says "funky"

How bizarre
How bizarre, how bizarre

Ooh, baby (Ooh, baby)
It's making me crazy (It's making me crazy)
Everytime I look around
Everytime I look around (Everytime I look around)
Everytime I look around
It's in my face

Ring master steps out and says "the elephants left town"
People jump and jive, but the clowns have stuck around
TV news and camera, there's choppers in the sky
Marines, police, reporters ask where, for and why
Pele yells, "We're outta here," Zina says, "Right on"
We're making moves and starting grooves before they knew we were gone
Jumped into the Chevy and headed for big lights
Wanna know the rest? Hey, buy the rights...

How bizarre
How bizarre, how bizarre

Ooh, baby (Ooh, baby)
It's making me crazy (It's making me crazy)
Everytime I look around
Everytime I look around (Everytime I look around)
Everytime I look around
It's in my face