Does Tiger Woods owe you an apology?

Sachin Tendulkar gets 200 in an ODI

The Little Master has claimed a record worthy his own status.

Sachin Tendulkar scored one-day international cricket's first double century to set up a 153-run win and a series victory for India over South Africa . Tendulkar smashed 200 not out off 147 balls to help India post 401-3. That's some fucking innings!

South Africa were bowled out for 248 with AB de Villiers hitting a defiant 114 not out in the day-night match at the Captain Roop Singh Stadium, Gwalior. Close but not even close buddy.

The Little Master hit "25 fours and three sixes in a spectacular innings that combined power, timing and enthusiasm with stunning strokeplay."

Cricinfo noted "His experience of 20 years at the international level came into play in this historic innings, staying at the crease from the first ball to the last, never once losing focus. There were no chances offered, no dropped catches, making his innings absolutely flawless."

When Tendulkar passed 194 he didn't raise his bat but merely shook hands with South african keeper Mark Boucher and simply carried on batting amid the din of the excited crowd. "He reserved his celebrations for the magic figure of 200, which he reached in the final over with a squirt off Charl Langeveldt past backward point. He raised his bat, took off his helmet and looked up at the skies and it was only fitting that one-day cricket's highest run-getter reached the landmark"

This double century book-ends a wonderful career and perhaps satisfies the hunger for Tendulkar to have scored a truly huge test score. This innings will be the stuff of legends in years to come. The best thing about it is he did it against a South African team and not some crap Zimbabwe team. When Ricky Ponty eventually scores more one day innings runs than Tendulkar, no one will care, because he got to 200 first and no one can take a record like that away from anyone.

After the match Optimus Prime was quoted as saying he had seen hitting that clean since Tiger Wood's wife beat him with a gold club.
As useful has ever, Cricinfo has the stats:

Highest ODI Scores
Innings Analysis
Game Scorecard

TFLN: Optimus Prime

Things that make u go hmmm...

(412): the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named
Optimus Prime
(724): ...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname

Why is Optimus Prime more awesome than Jesus?

Jesus couldn't turn into a fire engine.

The Third Transformers movie is apparently Doomed

I was watching a rerun of Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom when Optimus Prime walked in. "Fuck Micheal Bay" he said, "he's got me doing some weird shit in the third movie!" And I was like, "dude watch Indianna Jones man, this is how you make a sequel." So we watched Han Solo save India from a really crazy heart surgeon while we drank a nice chianti with some fava beans for snackies.

After Jones stepped on Short Round, Optimus had another slug of the chianti and said. "Fuck me, Jimmy Jangles, maybe if Micheal stole the plot from Indianna Jones, the third TF movie would be sweet as cheese mate!"

I replied. "First things first my heavy metal friend. I'm not gonna fuck you, I can't afford the medical bills. Second, there's no way people are gonna want to see you run around with a whip chasing after Kate Capshaw, however hot she is."

Prime chortled, "yeah, she's way hotter than Megan, and way less bitchy to boot!" Prime finished the chianti, looked at me, burped and then said he had to go talk to his agent. I nodded and ate some beans.

Halo News Wrap Up

It's been a busy week or two at Halo Reach Game News due to all the wonderful news from X10 and a whole heap of interviews from the team at Bungie. 

I thought I'd do a wrap up of the interesting bits!

Are you a Halo fan or A Halo Fan?
Some gamers can casually play a game of Halo and  simply rather enjoy it. Other gamers seem to take it a lil bit too far and seemingly want to become Halo. Maybe they want dress up as Cortana. Maybe they want the Master Chief to Marry them. Maybe these people are more than Halo fans but are indeed Halo Fans? 

Why Halo: Reach will be better than Sex

This post title speaks for itself eh?

Have you seen Jonesy the cat?

Bungie, have laid on an Easter egg in the new Reach Vidoc which is a replay on the semi-infamous lost cat poster from Halo CE....

Has anyone solved the "whvidldshbyjsdo" acronym/puzzle yet?
It's one of those crazy acronym that Bungie have thrown out over the years. This one was put out in blatant site for all to ponder as the url for their ODST game page...

Is the Master Chief Noble 6?

No. The Master Chief is not the spartan referred to as Noble 6. Noble 6 is the Lone Wolf. The Unnamed Spartan. The Ghost Who Walks. You know, the spartan that survived Pegasi, sir. In fact you are Noble 6. You get to inhabit the character as your venture across Reach with team Noble. 

Will the Engineers be in Reach?

In a word, yes. Bungie leave nothing to chance so when you see a picture of an engineer in a Halo Reach Vidoc, you can take it to the bank that an Engineer will appear in some shape or form in Halo Reach. 

Vidoc of Reach finally released. 

Here's Bungie's first propaganda piece video documentary for the Halo: Reach game we are all dying to see and play. 1 in 7 fanboys wet themselves on viewing. We can play the Beta on May 3 but till then we have to make do with the glimpses that the vidoc gave us.

Help Get Brian to Fright Fest!

Help Get Brian to Fright Fest!

Brian runs Horror Movie A Day. It's like one of the best blogs out there. You don't even have to know or care about the horror films he rights about, you can simply enjoy the way he both savages and praises a film at the same time.

Brian's wife and friends have banded together in support to get him from somewhere in the USA to London for the Fright Fest. It's like a convention for Star Trek fans but with more blood...

 These friends have set a blog to help raise funds. If you're interested, have a look!

This donation rally was supposed to be a secret from Brian but it eventually got out...

Oasis: Looking Back in Fondness

Oasis: Looking Back in Fondness


So like I was working in a chicken fast food restaurant late one year in the mid 90s when I heard a song about ‘Rolling With It’ and thought it sounded pretty sweet. And that was that. Didn’t hear it again till weeks later. Then I heard Wonderwall. I NEEDED that song. I recall my mother drove me to K Mart (those were the days!) and I got what had turned out to be the biggest selling album in recent times. Oasis mania had arrived in Jimmy Jangles' house and I began to.. er.. roll with it.

I played that album non stop for two weeks. Then a friend of my lil bro turned up. This guy was like Mr Music Man and was like: "Oh Oasis?, here’s a copy of their first album."


And I'm like "Their first album? Oh, they did that Live Forever song I saw a video of once where they buried the drummer? Sweet."

Now we had two albums for the soundtrack of our summer which came down to playing Oasis in the garage while playing pool, drinking Steinlager. Bless. There may have been some Stone Roses played too, but that's another story.

And thus I became an Oasis diehard. U2 who? Summer finished and I went to university and started getting my hands on everything Oasis I could. I bought all the singles I could find. There was no ‘real’ internet in 1996/97/98 – it was just this magical thing I could get at the University labs so there was no real web surfing, it was all newspaper headlines. Yes, I had a folder full of Oasis articles where they stated “We’re bigger than God” and “We hope Blur die of Aids”. I signed letters home to my family as Noel Gallagher. That's how cool I was, even back then...

I decided to learn the guitar as I had to be able to play Wonderwall. Playing Oasis b-Sides became a speciality.

This fandom culminated in a crazy Oasis concert in Wellington where Liam stormed off, Noel did an acoustic set featuring Setting Sun with the band in full force for the last song of Champagne Supernova. Rough as, but Mega.
Anyways I thought I’d reminisce about each Oasis album.

Definitely Maybe





Who wants to be a rock n roll star? If you believe the lyrics, Liam was one before the album made him one. It was the seemingly self referencing that was so clever. It was the same for GNR's Welcome to the Jungle – they were singing about the excess and trappings of Rock Stardom before they had it. It was like both bands were in on the joke about rock and roll joke before both bands became a rock and roll joke in many people’s eyes. I call those people Oasis Haters. Supersonic Live Forever, Slide Away. Songs that will stick around as markers in rock history for all those who follow (as they followed The Stones, The Who, David Bowie and of course, The Beatles.

What’s the Story? (Morning Glory!)












Did you need a little time to wake up after being run down by Definitely Maybe? The title reference to cocaine would pick you up no end with songs Wonderwall, Roll With It, Don’t Look Back in Anger and a song so good the Beatles should have written it, Champagne Supernova. Those songs define Oasis and the Britpop mania wave they rode (and created). They will be living off the royalties from those songs till the day they die. Morning Glory is probably the soundtrack to a generation of British folks.

Be Here Now





Supposedly the Great Rock and Roll Swindle. The punters were eager for a fight and they easily stepped into the ring when they realised that Be Here Now was not another Morning Glory. A few weak songs (despite the A grade D’yer Know What I Mean and All Around the World) and over blown production left many fans turned off and Oasis labelled as has beens. On reflection, Be Here Now is chock full of great songs – the song structures in many are perfect – witness Don’t Go Away acoustically and any objective listener will note its beauty, shame its album version solo was basically a rip off of Slide Away crossed with Live Forever.

Heathen Chemistry




An album full of great songs but, like Be Here Now, the sum of its parts was not greater than the songs on it. On their own songs like, Songbird, Stop Crying Your Heart and Born on a Different Cloud were majestic. As an album the punters when eh, Oasis diehards loved it – the singles were quite popular.

Don’t Believe the Truth





This was the unexpected comeback. Taken as a whole, this was an Oasis album you could listen to as one piece of music and totally enjoy. Lyla was a fun, poppy single, The Importance of Being Idle was a surprisingly quirky hit. The album owed a small debt to the Velvet Underground and a more considered song writing effort from Noel (the album did however have many songs from other band members). Let There Be Love was a beautiful album closer and could be seen as the antithesis of the sibling rivalry that dominated the headlines as Liam and Noel had regularly argued their troubles out in public over the years. Sadly the sentiment of the album closer was lost following the break up of Oasis after the release of the next album.

Dig Out Your Soul




If you had to label an Oasis album as psychedelic, Dig Out Your Soul was an Eed up Oasis plugging in George Harrison’s sitar and turning it to 10 and a half. Falling Down and I'm Out of Time were Oasis best singles since anything from Morning Glory. Waiting for the Rapture was a wall of Oasis that had live favourite all over it. Lyrically it was sharp and it had an awesome example of drumming expertise from Zak Starkey on The Shock of the Lightning. If Don’t Believe the Truth was the album Oasis should have released after Morning Glory in preference to Be Here Now, this album should have been the immediate follow up (like Zooropa was soon released after to U2's Achtung Baby).

Lucky for those still listening to Oasis, this album did follow DBTT and so it got plenty of listens and some good reviews.

In hindsight, that the single Falling Down was first Oasis song in over a decade to not go top 10 in the UK was the signal that perhaps Oasis’ time was coming to an end. In the tour that followed, Noel finally got fed up, smashed Liam’s guitar and quit the band.


Conclusion: You know what's coming right?

For an Oasis diehard it's very easy to look back on Oasis' music with fondness. The music has been the soundtrack to my life so it's kind of hard to think of Oasis in any other way. As a chorus to one of their b-sides went, thank you for the good times.

You Are So Fucking Fucked

NZ Black Caps: better than cockroaches AND Bangladesh

Cricinfo has an amusing article on which of the world's cricket players would survive a nuclear holocaust. They pick the entire NZ Black Caps team!

"The New Zealand cricket team would remain okay. They would be watching Eagle v Shark in Chris Martin's basement when the flesh-eating disease spreads rapidly across the planet, killing everyone. Upon exiting the basement they would have some good times and some bad times, but basically they'd just survive. Even though 90% of the world's population is dead, their crowd numbers in Test matches stay the same. "

How Sad

Click here for the sweetest words on the death of Pauly Fuemana

Here's lyrics to How Bizarre - a song that mirrored my first year at University (that and Oasis, lots of Oasis).

Brother Pele's in the back, sweet Zina's in the front

Cruisin' down the freeway in the hot, hot sun
Suddenly red-blue lights flash us from behind
Loud voice booming, "Please step out onto the line"
Pele preaches words of comfort, Zina just hides her eyes
Policeman taps his shades, "Is that a Chevy '69?"

How bizarre
How bizarre, how bizarre

Destination unknown, as we pull in for some gas
Freshly pasted poster reveals a smile from the past
Elephants and acrobats, lions snakes monkey
Pele speaks "righteous," Sister Zina says "funky"

How bizarre
How bizarre, how bizarre

Ooh, baby (Ooh, baby)
It's making me crazy (It's making me crazy)
Everytime I look around
Everytime I look around (Everytime I look around)
Everytime I look around
It's in my face

Ring master steps out and says "the elephants left town"
People jump and jive, but the clowns have stuck around
TV news and camera, there's choppers in the sky
Marines, police, reporters ask where, for and why
Pele yells, "We're outta here," Zina says, "Right on"
We're making moves and starting grooves before they knew we were gone
Jumped into the Chevy and headed for big lights
Wanna know the rest? Hey, buy the rights...

How bizarre
How bizarre, how bizarre

Ooh, baby (Ooh, baby)
It's making me crazy (It's making me crazy)
Everytime I look around
Everytime I look around (Everytime I look around)
Everytime I look around
It's in my face