U2 new album news

Bono in full 'she got soul soul, sweet soul' mode

After the apparent flop of No Line on the Horizon (selling only 6 million copies of an album counts as a flop if you are U2), Bono and U2 were a little bit worried that they had lost their mojo somewhat so turned to Bellatron for inspiration and what followed was creative output to rival the famous Lennon McCartney partnership.

U2's new album, Cyber Love, features 12 tracks, 7 of which were penned by Bono and Bellatron together. The song 'If I was a Space Angel' will be the first single released. It also features Bellatron doing some backing vocals and playing some keyboards.

Bono was interviewed by Rolling Stone and is quoted as saying "Yeah, we could have got on the Lady Gaga band wagon and write songs about Judas but we felt Bellatron has such sweet soul, she was the stellar trick we needed to get our groove back. Besides, she makes a mean gin martini".

Long term fans of U2 are not sure of what to make the collaboration but anticipation is clearly high as itunes has already presold the single 300,000 times. Fans should relax as it was Bellatron who wrote the original songs for Stan Bush that were used in The Transformers Movie.

U2 fans who buy the album on itunes prior to release will also get three b-sides free, one of which features Bellatron and Bono doing a duet of You Don't Bring Me Flowers. It was originally a hit for Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond.

Cyber Love is out April 29 on Jimmy Jangles Records.

Rugby World Cup Team Guide - NZ anon

Richie getting capped

Rugby World Cup Team Guide - NZ anonymous. 

This is doing the rounds, it's too good not to post:

Pool C


Basic Info: Large island off the coast of New Zealand inhabited by 21 million convicts, 2 million New Zealanders and enough deadly animals to ensure any smart Kiwi stays well away.
If you meet an Australian in the street: You have my sympathy.
Chances of Winning: As always the Aussies rate themselves highly coming in to the tournament and are likely going to be the Mighty Mighty All Blacks final victim.
Australians You May Know: John Farnham (Best. Mullet. Ever), Split Enz (NZ Rock Band), Crowded House (NZ Rock Band), Dragon (NZ Rock Band), Phar Lap (NZ Race Horse), Quade Cooper (NZ First-Five), Russell Crowe (Australian Actor)


Basic Info: A rare combined team comprising the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. These two nations stop blowing each other up for six weeks every four years to compete at the Rugby World Cup.
If you meet Irish people in the street: You’re in for a hell of a few days. Be prepared to drink Guinness 24/7, only stopping to eat steak and Guinness hotpots – with potatoes, potatoes, potatoes.
Chances of Winning: Pool C is probably the weakest of the lot. Ireland should make the quarters – failure to do so will result in lost Viaduct pub revenues of an estimated 10 million dollars.
Irish People You May Know: Darren Clarke (Golfer, Alcoholic), Colin Farrell (Actor, Alcoholic), Brian O’Driscoll (Rugby Player, “Could’ve doied”)


Basic Info: Boot shaped south European nation of 61 million inhabitants. Most Italians argue a lot, sleep with anything that moves and live on the East Coast in an area called Jersey Shore.
If you meet Italians in the street: Shake hands then fall to the ground grasping your eye, seething in agony. This will show your guests that you have a good knowledge of Italian soccer. Females should not approach Italian men under any circumstances.
Chances of Winning: The Azzurri have surprised a few northern journos with the odd victory over six-nations teams in the past. They may not win but there’s every chance there’ll be a lot of scoring going on.
Italian People You May Know: Luciano Pavarotti (Tenor, Womaniser), Silvio Berlusconi (Prime Minister, Womaniser), Giacomo Cassanova (Womaniser, Womaniser).


Basic Info: Freaking huge country of 143 million vodka drinkers that used to be part of the freaking huger U.S.S.R. before the Iron Curtain was torn down. Home of smoking hot but averagely talented tennis players.
If you meet Russians in the street: Ask for a nip of Vodka. Speak in a deep thundering voice and remove all vowels from the words you are using.
Chances of Winning: Are you serious?
Russians You May Know: Maria Sharapova (The New Anna Kournikova), Anna Kournakova (The Old Maria Sharapova), Dasha Astafieva (Cover Girl – Playboy Nude Playmates 2011), Nikita (That chick from the Elton John song that will never know anything about his home), Sergey Brin (Really, really rich),

United States of America

Basic Info: Large North American country and self proclaimed centre of the universe, land of the free and home of the brave. None of which is true. The average IQ of Americans is amongst the lowest in the developed world with one group in particular dragging the average down. These people are known as Republicans.
If you meet Americans in the street: Speak slowly. The Americans have no idea what English is.
Chances of Winning: Significantly better than their chances in Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam, Korea or most of Central America but still less than .01%.
Americans You May Know: George W Bush (Terrorist), Justin Timberlake (Talent yet to be discovered – but famous all the same), Larry Page (Really, really rich)

Pool D


Basic Info: Melanesian Island nation of 850,000 people ruled over by whichever army leader was involved in the last monthly military coup. Home of the world’s worst beer “Fiji Bitter” and one of the best rugby sevens teams you’ll ever see.
If you meet Fijians in the street: STAY. AWAY. FROM. THE. KAVA.
Chances of Winning: With 8 blokes on the field that have no idea why they are there, probably not very much at all.
Fijians You May Know: Joeli Vidiri (All Black Winger), Sitiveni Sivivatu (All Black Winger), Rupeni Caucaunibuca (All Black Winger), Josevata Rokocoko (All Black Winger)


Basic Info: African country north of South Africa (unsurprisingly) of just over 2 million people. They have several deserts and a good women’s roller hockey team. (Thanks Wiki)
If you meet Namibians in the street: You’re probably not going to have much in common. I’ve researched thoroughly on Wiki and am yet to find anything interesting.
Chances of Winning: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahaha
Namibians You May Know: Percy Montgomery (Springbok fullback and pretty boy) – Namibian – who would have thunk it?


Basic Info: Pacific Island Nation of 179,000 people who live in paradise. Samoa consists of 8 smaller islets and the three main islands of Upolu, Savai’I and Te Ika-a-Mâui.
If you meet Samoans in the street: STAY. AWAY. FROM. THE. KAVA.
Chances of Winning: A realistic chance of toppling Wales for the second quarter final spot… a result that will send most of Auckland into a 7 day party.
Samoans You May Know: David Tua (O for Owsome), Peter Fatialofa (Piano Mover), Olo Brown (All Black prop that my cat is named after)

South Africa

Basic Info: Nation of 51 million people located in Africa’s South. Home of the great culinary delight known as Boerewors (like NZ sausages but made of meat). New Zealand’s traditional rugby arch-rival (unless they beat us in which case all that matters is The Bledisloe Cup)
If you meet South Africans in the street: You are probably in Albany.
Chances of Winning: Probably the second favourites behind the Mighty Mighty All Blacks – therefore no chance at all.
South Africans You May Know: Suzie (Waitress), Pieter de Villiers (Comedian), Joel Stransky (Dream Crusher)


Basic Info: Country of 3 million leek eating, rugby loving coal miners who hate the English. Wales is not dissimilar to New Zealand in many ways. All Welsh men are named either Ian, Gareth, David or Thomas and have the last name Jones, Williams, Thomas or Evans. Beware of imitators.
If you meet Welsh People in the street: Try to induce phlegm whilst saying Prynhawn da, Pob dymuniad da. The Welsh language is less about the pronunciation and more about the amount of spit produced.
Chances of Winning: Absolutely no chance – but don’t tell the Welsh – they don’t realise it yet.
Welsh People You May Know: Bonnie Tyler (80s rock chick), Tom Jones (Underwear Model)

Why I'm looking forward to Halo 4

The short answer to why anyone would look forward to Halo 4 is that it's new Halo.

The longer version to why I'm looking forward to Halo 4 is ... where do I begin?

Let's start with Halo 3. It was the ultimate game of it's time. The year it came out there were few rivals for it, and it was the only game that Bill Gates came out to help personally promote. And why was that? Bill Gates knew it was the best damn game ever. And the proof was in the pudding - the first campaign play through of Halo 3 was the best ever gaming experience - and so to have the Master Chief and Cortana left drifting in space after that epic adventure was the ultimate turn on for more Halo - as some director once said, always leave them wanting more, and Halo 3 ably did that.

Sure, Halo 3: ODST came and went and it was a bloody good yarn and campaign but it wasn't about the Chief. Halo Reach came along and while I thought it was a bloody good game, with a year's worth of hindsight, I still favour Halo 3 in terms of story and game play. And it still didn't have the Chief (except as an Easter Egg) - So I'm kinda hoping Halo 4 will carry along the story with as much fun and bombast as H3 did and the Chief will be pivotal to that ride.

The heart of it is that I want to play as the Chief again and this time 343 Industries has suggested a whole brave new world I can play in. And what is this world? Why, it's the Forerunners' back yard. Like the Wizard of Oz had a bag of marvelous tricks, I wonder what the Forerunners will have up their sleeves?

This is the front yard
This is not without its risks of course. Halo 4 is being made by 343 Industries, a team that has to date not actually released a video game! What pressure they must be under to make Halo fans like myself happy eh? Still, that's another reason to look forward to Halo - simply to see if Frankie and the team can nail it! I'm betting this year's harvest they can!

I'm looking forward to Halo 4 because according to Frankie from 343, the Greg Bear novel Primordium directly ties into the plot of Halo 4. I think this a first for the Halo series that the majority of people will be aware of (I recall Halo: Combat Evolved came out just after the release of The Fall of Reach) and so it gives Halo 4 just a grand hint of being well planned, and the best plans are well executed so that gives me great hopes for the game!

Halo 4 is set a few years after Halo 4 and this is intriguing - what's been happening since the Chief and his friends saved all sentient life in universe from the retarded machinations of the Covenant? What has the Arbiter been up to? Will Jun turn up? Will we find out where he went after he took Dr Halsey away from Reach? I doubt we'll get answers to those questions, but seeing as their appears to be human ships in the Concept Art for Halo 4 trailer, I'm keen as to find out what the humans have been doing in the years since H3.

I'm keen to see what new technologies Halo 4 can deliver. Halo 3 gave us an improved graphics engine and characters with faces that actually looked pretty good as they talked. I imagine the engineers at 343 are gleaming all they can from the Xbox's parts to make us the best Halo game ever - we'll no doubt get some awesome graphics (any worries about that have been answered by what we've seen from the Halo Anniversary videos) - I guess the question to be asked is, how good will the graphics be? Maybe we can throw in the question of will Halo 4 with Kinect be any good as well? Will the Kinect feature simply being operational commands?

So you, dear reader, why are you looking forward to Halo 4?

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