And here's to you Joe Di Maggio

So like the 'Sponsored Links' to the right finally came up with 'Ipods' for sale. How about that - Google at its finest. So I only had to have Ipod written on my page 8 odd times for the adds to switch over from 'saving the third' world to Ipod heaven.

I wonder what will happen if I write something like "Marilyn Manson secretly marries Marilyn Munroe in bizzare seance session" ??? So if Marilyn Manson actually married Marilyn Munroe that would be kind of cool huh?? Eat your heart out Joe Di Maggio.

And based on kind people clicking thru on the 'Sponsored Links' its only approximately 12. 67 standard human years till I get my Ipod for xmas :)


Mint sauce with that?

Cricket? What cricket? There was no cricket. There was a merciless massacre. A slaughter of the lambs. Kiwi Lamb served such that it makes a monstrous meal of liver, fava beans and a nice chianti look like a bland bowl of soggy Weet-Bix.

Vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet.

So like Mondays freakin' suck . I really do think the silicon switch in my head as melted or something worse today. Too much hayfever and caffeine make JJ very blah.

The weekend in a nutshell in some kind of coherent order: Beers, Dinner @ Hede, VillaNine band practice (watched, I like to watch); cricket watching, Dinner @ Windmill; beer, ‘Shaun of the Dead’, beers, pool, watching cricket , hayfever, 'Autofocus'.

Lets not talk about the freakin Black Caps but raise three cheers for ‘La Maree Noir’ that swept over the Frogs and drowned them in a see of Black. It didn’t turn out to be the battle everyone was expecting. A right thrashing. Don’t you just wish we could challenge the English for the World Cup in a best of 5 test series or something?

It was a delicious irony to see Jeremy Yates win the Lake Taupo Cycle Classic, two days after receiving a ban for drug taking. Man people are pissed. Rightly so but I think somehow Jeremy is not too concerned. My friend The Professor once won that race when he and his mates rode a 3 man bike. - I forget the real term for the thing….. trandem???

The lad(s) at Dog Biting Man just crack me up. But more so did the movie Shawn of the Dead - its just a brilliant piss take of all the zombie movies that have gone before. The title of this blog is description of one of the Zombies. You must see it. Take a date......

How DO you dismantle an atomic bomb?

How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb (Deluxe) U2 have dropped their little boy ‘How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb’. Being a huge U2 fan this review is gonna be as biased as a one eyed Auckland Referee refereeing Auckland.

So like this morning E rings me at work circa 9am and asks “Jimmy, what’s it like?” and I’m like “Shit I forgot to go buy it”. So I went and did.

Got the tres flash looking DVD version with colour book because I was excited. The pictures in the book are utter shite by the way. NE way you don’t really care about that do you? Tell us about the music JJ! Still, I shall persist because if you have got this far, well, you deserve a DB. Actually to be honest I find the red and black colours dam ugly. And that Ipod they put out…..

So its pretty dam bloody good musically. Its kinda ‘Joshua Tree’ old school U2 mixed with the ‘All You Cant Leave Behind’ vibe. Stand out songs are Vertigo, City of Blinding Lights and All Because of You. They are all fast paced so that’s me happy! The Edge has his infinite guitar or whatever going perfectly. Hell he prob did use the same gear from the Joshua tree album - some of it sounds the same. This is a good thing.

Haven’t really got into the words yet, that usually comes later. I think Pop was a brilliant album just for its lyrics. The ‘blind leading the blonde’ from the Angels song line is great.

I’m curious as to what would have happened to world history if U2 had of dropped the album in 1945 before the first atomic bomb was dropped on Japan. Maybe if the people of Hiroshima had of got a copy first they could have dismantled the bomb Einstein and his mates dropped on them? Their mates in Nagasaki could have burnt a copy too. (Remember though the Burn and Get Burnt campaign so that could potentially backfire.)

I wonder too, what Dr Strangelove would say about all this?

FYI - The answer to the question at the top according to Bono is ...‘With Love’.

Dam hippies.

Update: Check out what I thought of the follow up album, No Line on the Horizon.

The Genius that is Slyvester Stallone

So like I was the big no mates on Saturday night so I watched Rambo: First Blood Pt 2. Being a sucker for such box office bullshit I really enjoyed it. L.S.S. John Rambo saved the POWs and thus the day whilst delivering lines like “I’ve always believed the mind is the best weapon” and “Murdock... I'm coming to get You!".

Only Arnold Swarzhisname can deliver one liners better.

It got me thinking about the Italian Stallion. He's not really the mindless hero his public personna is percieved as. Yes, he’s famous for his huge block buster roles such as Rambo, Rocky, Cobra, Judge Dredd etc. but I think the average fan would not know that Stallone writes movie scripts. Oscar nominated movie scripts... like erm … Rocky. Yes Stallone wrote Rocky, convinced some one to let him star in it, and boom a star wuz born.

Other Stone film credits are the other 4 Rockys, the other Rambos, Cliffhanger, Cobra and the delightfully stupid Over the Top. The man even wrote and directed Staying Alive, the sequel to Saturday Night Fever. Hmm.

So yes these are all mindless movies in the great Hollywood tradition but someone has to use their brain to come up with these ideas. So what’s my point? Hmmm… don’t judge a DVD by its cover?

The Coriolis Effect

Been listening to Bob Dylan today ... some ballad about a hurricane. Palleaassee, who sings about Hurricanes? They're just so destructive ( Florida NE 1?)... all those homes destroyed by hurricanes... crikey maybe Bob should sing about something safer like a ...tambourine.

Had a great night out (in) at The Manatee and his wife's place last night. The usual suspects were there. After drinking Steinlagers at the Feathers I switched to Speights. 'They' say 'if u drink Speights, you lose your mates' but that aint true. We all know it means Superior Piss Enjoyed In Great Hotels Throughout Southland. Too random for ya?

Test cricket - So Micheal Clark and Gilly are giving the Black Caps a bit of a pasting ... bout time the Aussie Juggernaut switched on... Stoked Shrek got a century yesterday. Is he really the new Chris Cairns? Maybe if his bowling gets a lil bit better...

New U2 album out on Monday. Wicked.

The Munted Manor

So after a few (?) beers with Te Flatmate at Te Feathers Pub watching Te cricket I went to the Munted Manor . I went with Benson and Hedges - its a sinister labryrinth that u dare to solve at your own risk.

What a trip! It scared the hell out of me - I think Hedges died a little inside too. After an introductory tour by Igor we were left to our own devices. Freak Out City - scares galore - it was like The Sixth Sense for real or something - I dunno about you but walking through dark corridors with real humans dressed as Micheal Myers with chompimg chainsaws jumping out at you is pretty dam freaky. Oh yes chainsaw man, you got me good.

Back to the cricket - didn't Skippy do well? Out for 69. Isn't that a nice number? I hope Oram kicks on for a century. Should he be batting higher up the order?.

Did Craig McMillan forget to eat his Jelly Beans or some thing? Out twice in one ball, caught and stumped. Grrrrrrr!

Herrreesssss Johnny!

So someone has smashed an axe into the window of Prime Minister Helen Clark’s electorate office. A fan of the ‘Donnie Darko’ movie perhaps? Or maybe too many Kubrick films... the media suggests it was a swandri clad lumberjack feeling aggrieved about the Foreshore and Seabed Bill. Either way what a waste of a good axe.

Last night The Manatee and I watched ‘Hero’ at the Embassy. If you want a four word review think ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon'. It had the cool sword fights, the impossible physics, the emotionally fraught characters and even what I thought a rather odd reference to the spaghetti westerns of old... overall this was a pretty decent movie – best seen on the big screen – so instead of giving your $15 bucks to the money grabbing buggers @ Reading, go to the Embassy.

Check out The Spaghetti Incident? on Google Plus

Sew What?

So I've noticed I keep starting my blog entries with So... so..Is this my thing? Have you heard Metallica's cover of 'So what?'. You don't like it? So? So What?

Captain Picard "Make it sew, Mr Hetfield"
James Hetfield "Sew what?"

The mind googles....

So I noticed someone came to this blog via a search engine that uses google. Their search topic was "pictures of people at hospitials".

Just what was this person really looking for?

I've come down with Dizrythmia

Last night I went to a concert at the Micheal Fowler Centre by the brothers Finn. That’s Neil of Crowded House fame and Tim of Split Enz fame. Put them together and you have NZ’s favourite singer/songwriters and they are a source of national pride.

They played some classics from their vast catalogue -Weather With You, Distant Sun, I See Red, Dirty Creature, There Goes God, How will You Go? et al. All played with much enthusiasm. Tim Finn is a manic mad maggot. He dances like he has has fleas. He’s all over the place and the audience love him for it. Neil was the rock, strong voice and wrought some wicked tunes from the many, many guitars he has.

They played 6 – 7 songs off the new ‘Everyone is Here’ album and they were pretty darn good. A highlight was 'Disembodied Voices', a song about two young brothers chatting in the dark before they nod off to sleep. Gentle Hum in the encore was angelic sounding.

The final song, I See Red, was played at a fast pace with Neil and Tim going, as one could note, mental.

I guess it was only natural i had a great evening! ;)

Its a good day for singing a song

So I woke up at 6.30 am in desperate need of paracetamol and rehydration. Stet. That emergency satisfied, I slept till 11. Wandered into town and had breakfast in Cuba Street. Is bloody sunny which bodes well for summer.....i mean dont you just love it when the belles about start wearing their summer singlets?

Knocked off at 5 on the dot last night and went to the Feathers pub. Brilliant - got the last table. Jordy, the bar manager gave me a $50 tab because I hit $1000 on the VIP card scheme they have going. Nice one Jordy. I'll spend it next Friday.

Was great hanging with the usual suspects - headed off to Katipo Cafe. What a great lil place. $3 dollar Tuis. Can't really argue with that can you?

The numbers fell away - long story short after a chartruse shot at the Bristol I ended up asking a girl for a dance at Latino's. She said yes. Legend!

All Blacks play Italy tonight. I hope Ma Nonu's make up doesn't run. Jaysus. Its a sad day (?!) when an All Black takes to that kind of regime. It makes us re/metrosexuals look bad. I'm kidding. Maybe Nonu could get a sponsorship from Max Factor or something. Because, you know, he's 'worth it'.

Black Caps had an OK day in the field against New South Wales (Hasn't it been there long enough to be called just South Wales? Hell for that matter what about New Zealand? Should we just call our country Zealand?.) We took 8 wickets so can't complain I guess.

Media suggests Phlemy Fleming flew to Australia today to join the team.


Its off!

The cast has been cast aside! In its place are two straps of maroon plaster attaching the lil pinky to its mate on the left. The arm is really stiff. Got 2 have that for another month. No biggy. I guess I can hold my beer (Steinlager of course) in the correct fashion now. Bingo.

Mo matter what they say about underfunded hospitials in NZ, the ortho clinic in Wellington Public hospital works really well. They are organised and in the 5/6 odd times I have been there in the last 3 weeks I haven't had to wait around much at all. That's 2 big thumbs up.

Nurses and Doctors and Support staff we awesome people who new their stuff. The scottish radiographer this afternoon was pretty fine looking too.

The Calcium Cage

Hiyas.

Today I'm off to the hospital to get my dam cast off. Fingers Crossed. Freakin Hooray!! This calcium cage has been making me look like a wimp for weeks..... how did I break my 5th metacarpal u may ask? ermm.... playing netball. Not very manly - in fact it was going for the 50/50 ball against a girl who prob is 15k lighter than me that did it. Snap! >note to self: insert manly reference here< I must point out I kept on playing. It was the semi final of the "Plate" round. I played Defence and we lost by 3 goals.

The English surgeon who put the bones back into place told me he thinks Netball is a contact sport in NZ.

The silver cloud of having a broken wing is I've met a fair few farmers and technocrats lately and its been a good conversation starter. Swapping war stories of finger injuries has been great. The best I saw was a dude with no tendons in his thumb. His name was Tom.

This just in to the Jimmy Jangles Newsdesk:

Essays offering "Advice for Democrats" now occupy more space on the internet than Pamela Anderson's breasts.

The administration of life

So I promised a poem or 2.

This was inspired by myfriend the The Manatee.

Enjoy ... Or not.

-

The administration of life

So weary
So tired
Of an existance
Gone dreary

The administration of life has got me down

Life lies listless
Life lies

I smile upside down
Hands heavy
Battery Flat
Head not thinking clearly
Out for the count
Bloody on the canvass matt.

The beaucracy of life has got me down

Languid
Luke warm.
Regard
My feculent frown

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