This is the frequency, Kenneth


This is what R.E.M.’s manager, Bertis, had to say about the New Plymouth Concert. Note the setlist, I think it was a pretty sweet deal we got! Taken from remhq.com

Tonight’s show, just completed, was one of the best of the tour. I don’t know why...something in the air--(the moist air due to the daylong rain that greeted our arrival and stayed with us pretty relentlessly through the show); great support sets from Bright Eyes and The Checks, a wonderful setlist including rarities of "Turn You Inside Out," "Disturbance at the Heron House," "Life and How to Live It," and "New Test Leper." Whatever it was, it was tremendous--amazing crowd, huge energy, and all at a place we had been told was a lot of fun but we had our doubts...it has about a 60-foot shallow pond between the stage and the front row (definitely the first time we watched swimmmers in wetsuits and boats ready to fish people out of the pit...with ducks too!), but despite all that, or maybe because of all that, it was a memorable and resonant show for everyone there, especially the bad kids who decided to make their own private (wet) front row when the rain really started to come down, and the band obliged with a rousing, longer-than-usual version of "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?", with Mike and Scott handling most of the vocal duties...the last time we visited New Zealand, Auckland was generally thought to be one of the very best concerts on that whole year-long tour; something about this place (and i am pretty sure it rained like crazy that night too back in Auckland).

Our arrival at the airport here today was also something pretty unique as the band received a high honor...a warm, spiritual, musical welcome by some of the native people from the area...quite moving for all of us, and it seems to have inspired the guys tonight or something did!

From here we go to Australia for the last part of this far-flung part of the world tour; first stop: Byron Bay above Brisbane, for the East Coast Blues and Roots Music Fesitval, where R.E.M. play a show with Sarah Mclachlan, Michael Franti & Spearhead, Gomez, Bright Eyes and other artists, then shows in some of the major cities before heading home for our spring break in a couple of weeks.

Take Your Vitamins,

Bertis

P.S. During the encore, as the band played a poignant and uncommonly timely "Nightswimming," the waders in the front row slow danced and swayed in waist-high water; now that was quite a scene.

Setlist:

I took your name
Bad day
Turn you inside out
Outsiders
Animal
New Test Leper
High Speed Train
Great Beyond
Disturbance at the Heron House
Orange Crush
I wanted to be wrong
Final Straw
Drive
Leaving New York
Have you ever seen the rain? (2 verses, sung by Mike Mills)
Imitation of Life
One I love
Walk Unafraid
Losing My Religion

Encore
What's the Frequency Kenneth
Everybody Hurts
Life and How to Live it
Nightswimming
I'm gonna DJ (at the end of the world) (at the time it was unrecorded but came out on Accelerate)
Man on the Moon


Note:
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain?" was before "Imitation of Life" and "Nightswimming" replaced "I’ve Been High" in the encore (heavy request action from The Checks and their families...).

It's not you, it's the e talking

soulwax tuxedo suits white

So to hopefully raise the bar, enjoy a guest blog post from Hakopa.

-

It's not you, it's the e talking

The song continues with "I'm not sure which part I'm playing", but that would be wrong here.

Oh but where are my manners!

In case you were wondering why this post has not mentioned *yawns* cricket, it is because my partner in crime, your Jimmy Jangles, asked that I provide a guest post on this his blog.

So without further ado my name is Jake and I will be your consumer whore for the day.

Fervently believing in the life-affirming power of retail therapy, I have adopted "I shop therefore I am" (ego sumo ergo sum for those of a classical bent) as one of my many personal philosophies (another one is “anything is ok so long as you don’t get caught” but we won’t go into that one here). Suffice to say it certainly beats any dreadfully earnest life statement likely to come from the self-help generation let alone someone suffering from the painfully saccharine infomercials of Tony Robbins.

I don't sleep too well at night.

Which does unfortunately mean taking on a steady diet of clinically dry BBC World, straight-to-video movies that were best left to rot in dead-end video rental outlets of the Blockbuster variety, and *coughs* infomercials.

Looking over last nights veritable smorgasbord of televisual offerings, I couldn't help but notice that the infomercials of today are nought but a pale imitation of the garish theatre once served up between the hours of 11:30pm and 5:30am weeknights. I'm talking about the days before the gods of home-shopping thought to use terribly plebeian poms to hawk acid-resistant car wax, drip-free paint rollers and the non-stick cookware that has come to fill our nation's pawnshops.

No ladies and gentlemen, I am talking about the Golden Age of informercials when the ever-cheerful Mike (they were all called Mike back then) wore indescribably vulgar woollen sweaters, hawked an amazing array of obviously useless life accessories like hair-trimming vacuum attachments (the flowbie is still my personal favourite) and a time when 'revolutionary' ab sculpting machinery was smaller than you were (abflex anyone?).

Ah those were the days.

Nowadays one is instead left choosing between people writhing their way to a slimmer body in deck chairs from hell and phone sex ads exhorting me to lie back and think of England. Sorry lads but I didn't catch the 0900 number.

Equally as licentious it seems is one of the films featuring at this year's Outtakes film festival. Originally intended as a spoof of Charlie's Angels and taglined with "They're crime-fighting hotties with killer bodies", D.E.B.S. has shown that perhaps a film needs more than gun-toting lesbian cheerleaders. The film has been described by the New York Times as about as “erotically charged as a home movie of a little girl hugging her barbie doll", left Newsday's critic saying "this is so retarded" and the only one of the gun-toting lesbian cheerleaders I can recognise is Devon Aoki and to be honest my boat does not float for her.

I don't actually know if the cheerleaders are lesbians. I'm not entirely sure they are cheerleaders either. But hey why not.

I can almost hear a deflated “hmmmm, lesbians” from the office next to mine.

Looking over our host's immediate past posts of his weekend in the *shudders* 'naki I am reminded of a situation in Winnipeg back in '96 which saw 17yo 'Inbred Jed' (an online moniker) consider it a good idea to send hate mail to a local gay activist and then front up to the police at his front door with a loaded pellet gun. Those crazy canadians!

I found that little tidbit when googling the Mike Judge cartoon of the same name. Beavis and Butthead wasn't his finest work but King of the Hill was certainly worth watching, especially on booze-addled weekend afternoons. One of many contributions to a collection of some of the best animation I'd have to be honest here and say that the Inbred Jed short was pretty bad. I don't think Mike hasn't worked much since.

And on that note I now return you to your normal programming of cricket updates and yarns of roadtrips to parts inbred.

A battle of wits conducted by twits

I remembered an amusing exchange at the REM concert. A group of people came and stood in front of a couple who were sitting down. They refused to sit or move. A rather angry (yet entertaining) exchange occured.

The aggrieved had a had a few chardonnays. The antagonist was a munter plain and simple.

The short and sweeter version went something like this:

A: U arrogant fuck, sit down!

M: Jeez mate its a rock concert.

A: Sit the fuck down! (A's wife suggests M has no manners)

M: If u had wanted to sit down you should have gone to the movies

A: Fucking rude kunts standing in my way! shit!

M: Calm down man, the Kiri Te Kanawa concert was last week.

I thought there was no coming back from that pearler and there wasn't.

Vote Greens! Not.

Sun

So if REM was the E pill last night today was the Big Come Down.

Rain screwed any idea of climbing Mt T.

Went for a swim at a river called "Where the Waters" meet or something. Two rivers join to become one. Jumped out of an insanely high tree into the freezing cold to prove I am indeed a man....

Drove home. Got home to find my bro had been and left me a bottle of 10 year old Glenmorangie single malt whiskey. Which he'd drank half of. Go go figure!

sothatitsitthen. Cheers!

REM Concert review from New Plymouth, NZ 28 March 2005

Finally I was at an REM concert! They opened with 'I took your name' from Monster and then cranked it! Stipe was manic contrasted with Buck's restrain. Mills was Mills. Brilliant.

Bad Day, Animal. I got my fill on Orange Crush. An aborted I'll take the Rain became CCR's Have you ever seen the rain? It seemed spontaneous but I bet they pull that trick whenver it rains.

I was amping. I was dancing. I was singing. Losing my Religion helped by heart soar to new heights. That song was up there with seeing Live do 'Lightning Crashes' and Oasis do 'Wonderwall'.

Walk Unafraid was a highlight for me too.

You knew you were at an REM concert when the arpeggio notes of Everybody Hurts chimed in. Utterly Amazing. Stipe sounded sang so close to that as he did on the album version. It was beautiful.

The oddest thing was at one stage I started thinking of Minority Report when Tom Cruise drinks the sour milk. Weird. But ne way, Moving on to Man on the Moon, and the WTK? and Nightswiming just rounded off a great concert experience.

The sound and venue were brilliant too.

I got up, I met, I went

So like I'm back from The Great Beyond.

Thurs

Me and the SAS left town on thurs evening and headed to the Naki. There are lots of dairy factories in the naki. Not so surprising really... Ne way mooving on (oh dear this post turned rancid fairly quick..) got in to New Plymouth about 11.30pm where the Jerm and the Jay meet us at the door with Mac's Beer. Bless 'em.

Chatted for a few hours, went to bed.

Fry
Woken up by thunderstorms at 6am ish. The idea to climb Mt Taranaki is abandoned.
Breakfast at the Museum, A Te Papa wanabe. The cafe was called Alborio. When I read the sign I intially thought it said Alborto which I thought was kinda rude.....

NE way then When for a hike round a lake called Managmahoe. Saw some black swans and some redwood trees. Those buggers are taller than Kobe Bryant!

Then Headed to Back Beach. Its a pretty sweet beach. Saw some interesting sughts. Later found out it was a gay beach so that explained that!

Had a nap.

Then we hooked up with OD and Z and went to the Festival of Lights at Brooklands Park or whatever its called. Like a bunch 16 year olds we stole OD's dads gin and drank it there. All good in the surreal lights.

Then into town for a few beers. Braved the Whiteheart Hotel. It was pretty sweet, a biker bar but the girls got scared so left and went to the Mill. Jezus wot a rat hole. I like Will Smith as much as the next guy but to hear the DJ spin Get Jiggy Wit It made me cringe till my back developed a stress fracture and so I wanted to Kill the DJ.

Sat

REM Day! On a buzz the momment I woke. No I cant back that up, after 6 hours sleep after all that Gin and beers I was a lil seedy. We fixed that with breakfast at Ultra Lounge. And to use a Fresh Prince line the waitress must have been tired tired cos was running thru my mind ALL day.....

Had a nap.

Today I learned a new expression. Here is the conversation from which it came.

G - I'm as tired as 40 maoris!
J - Erm dude u know I'm part Maori right?
G - Ah ahh ermm, you know what I mean....


Classic.

We visited the Gallery where Fee's fronts the house. Its called Govett - Brewster Art Gallery. Its pretty sweet. Had an exhibition which was a bit of a mind fuck by one Japanese artist 'On Kawara'. It was largely a set of paintings called "Today Series" with dates painted on them. White on black. At first you think what the f? but then u click the dates probably refere to something...like Vietnam and such issues. I could write for ages on this so I'll just say

I'm Still Alive


Then to Fitzroy beach for another splash in the surf. The beaches are pretty cool round here. The sand is black iron sand which is a novel change from Waimarama or Tangimoana.

Home for a feed, a few beers and R.E.M.

An open letter to R.E.M.

Dear Stipey, Mike and Peter.

I figure seeing as I own all your albums plus a few singles and vids you owe me.

Please therefore play 'Country Feedback' this Saturday when u play the Bowl at New Plymouth.

In fact u only have to play that one song if u want.

Your number one fan etc.....

Jimmy Jangles

-

Update. They didn;t play it , but we did get new song Death is Pretty Final.

CHeck out my R.E.M. fan site, Remurmur

you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?



Marine Corp's General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this!!!!

This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was sponsoring a Boy Scout Troop he brought to his military base.


FEMALE REPORTER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys while they're visiting your base?

GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, and shooting.

FEMALE REPORTER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD: Not at all, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE REPORTER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?


GENERAL REINWALD: No we are very safety conscious and will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE REPORTER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended.

Pall Mall

So Jaboobie suggests this:

Instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that cool or intellectual book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

And thus:

It was introduced to France via England around the time of Charles I coronation, and it was swiftly adopted by the aristocracy. The first Royal Pall Mall alley was built inside St James's park but dusts of cloud thrown up by carriages on their journeys to and from the Palace and Charing Cross began to obscure the balls. Consequently, in 1661, a new alley was constructed, between two rows of elms just north of the first site. Orginally named Catherine Street (In honour of Catherine of Bragzana), the alley was known as Pall Mall - a colloquialism that remains to this day.

-

So I'm at work & all I got is 'Schott's Sporting , Gaming and Idling Miscellany' (I have Geroge Orwell in my bag buts that’s breaking the rules I think)…. Its about a game called Pall Mall where u hit balls through a ring or something….

The bartender and theif are lovers

So this goes out to all the homeys in the Westwing.
I know you want to know this, you just don't know it yet.

Here is the track listing for the new Oasis album due May 31st:

DON'T BELIEVE THE TRUTH

Turn Up The Sun
Mucky Fingers
Lyla
Love Like A Bomb
The Importance Of Being Idle
The Meaning Of Soul
Guess God Thinks I'm Abel
Part Of The Queue
Keep The Dream Alive
A Bell Will Ring
Let There Be Love

ha. in jokes rule ;)

Shane Warne ate all the pies.

So I was just getting my lunch (Sushi - raw salmon and advocado) when I bumped into Shane Warne and Micheal Clarke outside Kirks. I nearly crashed into them such was my awe at recognising them. So I can now say I've stood within one foot one of the most famous pie eating spin kings of the world! Of course, these men were unawares of my existence. They were both pretty tall.

What's my point? If they were at Kirks, they weren't at the cricket. And that means there is no cricket today.

-

My fone is at home keeping the mice company. So don't txt me.

Keep your teeth nice and clean

So I discovered last night that after 7 steinlagers and one Lake Chalice Merlot that one cannot expect to play Halo on herioc mode and expect to kill the bad guys.

-

Where is my cell fone?

Bono for Pope

So Happy St Paddy's day. I'm glad Paddy killed the dragon or the snakes or whatever so that we may have an excuse to claim quasi itish heritage and binge drink Guiness all day long.

-

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.

"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"

"Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk.

"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening".

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

Sex, Lies and Videotape

So New Zealand's answer to Paris Hilton, Daryl Tuffey has not made any public comment on his sex video tape.

I think he should say something of a clintonesque pearler like "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms X"

And then he should smile like he meant it.

Latest goss here at Stuff. The NZ Herald does a great title on the issue, 'Cricketer gets a lesson on boundaries', though it sounds a lil ropey....

Seriously, I hope DT gets back in the Black Caps sooner than later.

Don't believe in the truth

So I had dinner at Fishermans' Table , Oriental Parade last night. Never again.

Why is the parade called Oriental anyway? There's hardly a trace of the orient. No dragons, no heroin dens, no chinese takeaways, no yellow hordes. I think it should be renamed Occidental Parade to reflect its true characer.

This brings me to Marjoribanks street which is supposedly properly pronounced "Marsh Banks". Another misnomer as there no banks on that street....

I got nothing else.

More chicks

So there's some dude that keeps leaving comments on my blog like "less cricket, more chicks". Obviously he's not a fan of the Black Caps (hey, after yesterday who is?) but Jimmy Jangles has no wish to disappoint my fans. So here you go dude, more chicks.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Lego Men Rule!

So Marshall scores a wicked century the day before I'm in Chch. He continues the next with 40 more runs and Lego Man gets a good 50. Yay! NZ does good. Then day 3 happens, NZ let Gilchrist and Katich score a million runs. Then Day 4. NZ self destruct and score the 5th lowest nz score ever against the assuies ... leaving them a mere 130 odd runs to win the test match. I guess no one can acuse NZ of being inconsistent but its enough to make a grown man cry.

Just as well I never grew up.

One of these is NZ Batsman Nathan Astle. A legend. The other is a Lego Man. Also a legend. Can u tell the difference?

nathan astle cricketer lego man red


Wild at Heart

So I flew to Christchurch on Friday for work.

I'm at the airport drinking V, wasting my time on the x word when I look up. I notice there are all these posters around me advertising Wellington as 'Wild at heart'. Below is a what the campaingis about from the aiport's (shitty) website:

'Wellington Airport will also be showing off its new brand "Wild at Heart" which reflects Wellingtons playful and untamed character. It is about the wild weather, the display of emotion and passion at an airport and the airports open-minded approach to business.'

So what is on these wild at heart posters? Tana Umaga storming through the line? Jet boat skiing on the harbour? Hunting a wild boar in Karori? An inverted umbrella?

No. 'Wild at heart' is aparently the wearing of slices of orange fruit on your head. So there a pictures everywhere of people wearing fruit salad.

No wonder the seats in the plane were sticky.

More colourful characters from the lift:

Stuck in Easy Rider guy This lad has sidies to rival Dennis Hopper's best efforts. Go watch Apocolypse Now for the great cameo from him

The Three Witches Cloned directly from the Macbeth play. Individually they are Boil, Toil and Trouble. When cornered by them I fear for my life, silently praying they are out of eye of newt.

Andy As in for the Andy Capp he wears, rain or shine, to hide his lack of hair. The poor bugger.

The Geek He looks too young to be in the workforce. I expect he works in computers and is thus a junior genius. Has seen the Return of the King: Special Extended 6 hour version 16 times.

Lift Buddies

So a while back I listed the names I gave to people on the bus that I catch to work most days. Ok everyday, I never walk. What about lift buddies? What are they like?

So mostly for my amusement here's a list of regular lift users I encounter in my building.

Smokey, the Old Bastard This old fella seems to be going on or returning from a smoke break every time I get in the lift. He stinks. I swear he could smoke Benson and Hedge's entire daily production run if he wished.

Crazy Receptionist Lady A lovely nutter. Smiles too much, talks too much. Has perhaps a put on air about her. Was kind enough to offer me a sandwhich once.

Hot Temp Receptionist Girl A sadly missed favourite.

I Ate ALL the Pies Guy Enuff said.

Used to be a looker but still living the dream lady Another smokaholic with smoke deadened facial skin. Dare I say it, she's draggin a tidy wagon but that's it.

Cool Guy Just a cool guy.

Uncool Guy Wants to be the Cool Guy.

Stinky Sweaty Courier Guy There's about a gazzilon of em. All interchangeable except for the unique man aroma of 6 hour old sweat. That never changes.

I'm still irked by people who press the Ground floor button even when its already lit up....

Cumming

So at lunch on the first day of the test match between le Black Caps et l'Aussies, nu zillan have crawled thru to lunch with the the loss of just one wicket and the un-princely sum of 64 runs. 30 odd of which test debutant Craig Cumming got. Nice one bro.

This reminds of my trip to the onedayer at the Basin Reserve last week. 3 drunken youths ( bless 'em) climed on top of the mens' ablution block and proudly displayed their sign which simply read thus:

"We love Cumming"

Well so do I boys, so do I. Apparently Daryl Tuffey does too. But that's a home movie for another day.

Vitalise this!

Attention Jimmy Jangles fan: this blog post sucks.

So interest in my breakfast habits appear to be at an all time high. Today breakfast was a refreshing sugar saturated 'V'. My molars prostested but the tastes buds won out. These green babies are addictive. I had 3 yesterday and 3 the day b4... No wonder I have no money.

I also had four Meal Mates, mate. But who really cares? Mate? Mate.

-

The issue of it's and its has been solved by one C T Onions II whom said... "Use the apostrophe only when you mean "it is"."

Purple

So Purple. What's good about the colour purple? It’s a good name for a movie. It’s a good name for a classic grunge rock album. Prince thinks its the colour of rain. It's a good colour for a liquer. It’s a good colour for a teletubbie. Or maybe a dinosaur. It looks pretty sweet in a rainbow. That's about it.

-

Whats the rule with it's and its usage? I forget/never learned good england in skool.

-

On reflection did I spell purple right? My brain is fried. I'm either brainless or brain dead. I can't decide which.

Girl Guide Biscuits Rule

So this morning's breakfast consisted of one chilled can of carbonated caffiene and some Girl Guide biscuits. I buy any thing that Bernice Menie sells to the masses. Got my vitamin pills, you bet! Got my M'Cains pizza? Off course, I'm looking after my self Bernze! Got my GG biscuits? You betcha! Oh, what's that Mandy Smith selling these days? I heard that she was selling on EBay big black boats that doesn't sail too well.

I keep have these really weird dreams. I know I get bored the moment someone says that as I'm sure you do - but this is my blog so like it or lump it....

I'm in a cool club some where, getting on with the ladies when from no where this giant teletubbie tries to dance with me. Inter species freaky love aint my thing baby so I reject the hand bag carrier. It gets all grumpy and does a funny dance where all the blood rushes to its head. Then it chases me all around the dance floor.

That's it.
Umm i had an idea for this post....

gosh i dunno what is was, here have a poem:

i wanted to be close
like the holy ghost
only something real

not something simple like microwave meal
but the intangible
that which you feel

next to her
after a mad naked blur. heartfelt?
we would whisper and talk
about the cards life has dealt
but she never did completely melt

i should have known
now its wide open
the covers blown

still i'm an audio slave to her charm
we'll have a laugh and a wine
though she'll no longer hold my arm

Untitled

The best thing about being off the wagon, is being off the wagon.

And there endeth the lesson.

The Outsiders are gathering

So I'm having some serious issues with work. In response to that that I'm taking inspiration from the outro rap by Q Tip on R.E.M.'s "The Outsiders".

I dont know what the author meant but I know what it means for me.

-

A man walks away when every muscle says to stay
How many yesterdays - they each weigh heavy
Who says what changes may come?
Who says what we call home?
I know you see right through me, my luminescence fades
The dusk provides an antidote, I am not afraid
I've been a million times in my mind
This is really just a technicality, frailty, reality

Uh, it's time to breathe, time to believe
Let it go and run towards the sea
They don't teach that, they don't know what you mean
They don't understand, they don't know what you mean
They don't get it, I wanna scream
I wanna breathe again, I wanna dream
I wanna float a quote from Martin Luther King
I am not afraid
I am not afraid
I am not afraid

Written by R.E.M.

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