Thailand has many kinds of Lizards




Yes, I ate all the pies. And that's an Aussie behind me, saying hello. 

So like I've spent the last couple of weeks in Thailand. What a bloody crazy place. That song from Chess about a hard man crumbling after one night is quite possibly true.

I did three and left with a wee hangover.

If I saw a well presented 20 something model in the fancy department store, the next person I saw had no arms and was lying on the ground with a cup in their mouth begging for food or baht. Next to them was a four year old doing the same thing.

If I saw a tuk tuk I saw a million of them. If I happened to get bored of the floating markets and suggest to wifey we just 'walk down this road a bit' I may have ran into an baby elephant that attempted to sexually harass me.

If I went to a tourist trap, I walked over the Bridge of the River Kwai (not it's really name, that's what stupid foreigners call it after watching too many Hollywood movies starring Old Ben Kenboi).

If I was feeling humble when I visited the war graves and saw the grave stone of a kiwi soldier who lost his life building a bloody train track, I was.


If I met a couple of Aussies on the way, they were good bastards.

If I raided the mini bar, I might have ended up on the top of a Bangkok building eating a meal with a 360 degree view of the city and its... smog.

If I relaxed on the beach, it came with a thai massage. If I ate a prawn, well, I ate them all. If I bought an Armani suit knock off, well that's what the tourists do. If I went snorkelling, I saw the united colours of Kata beach.

When I spoke Thai I was treated to a smile to end all smiles. If I handed over my money and grunted, I was apparently a rude Russian.

If I drank one Chang beer, I drank a Tiger beer too.

If I held a tiger cub in my arms, it was well treated. If I went the Phuket Zoo, my heart ached for the animal's and their mistreatment. If you want to go to the Phuket Zoo, do not. It's a rip off the the elephants and tigers and crocodiles a treated like rats in a cage. Still, I did the tourist thing and wrapped an albino python snake around me:


However, if I rode on an Elephant I may have seen the Big Budda. I learned what a mahout was and I saw loved and revered animals.

If I saw a scooter motor bike, I saw not one rider but three of four or a man carrying a pig in one arm and the BBQ in another, steering with his feet.

If I saw a lizard, I didn't tell my wife. I saw lots of lizards.

Have you ever seen an electron?


electrons

Have you ever seen an electron?


I ventured over to Seth Godin’s blog and noted he titled a post “Why celebrate Halloween?” which had the following question wrapped in a statement:

“Most of what we believe is not a result of direct experience (ever seen an electron?) but is rather part of our collection of truth because everyone (or at least the people we respect) around us seems to believe it as well.”

No, I have never seen an electron. How do I know that they exist? Because I believe what J.J. Thomson and the other fathers of science told me. A scientist said it, therefore it’s true! I accepted the authority figure telling me that something was true.

But what about the things other authoritative people try and tell me to believe?

I have not seen Jesus as explained to me by a priest, yet I don’t believe in him or his existence. Some people in society praise Allah, should I because they do? It’s called blind faith for a reason but I’d rather be blinded by science thank you very much.

What about the man and woman at 6pm on the Idiot Box telling me that George Bush is an evil person. Should I believe that when he won two American elections with a bible closely held to his breast?

Even science can be bumk. What about the Nobel Prize winner trying to convince us that large doses vitamin C cured cancer? He was a respectable authority figure that was just plain wrong.
Dear reader, I give you two more words - Tom Cruise.

If Micheal Moore hates capitalism and people watch his films and largely agree with him, should I believe that every American is a gun toting, sicko? Probably, I’ve watched Cops a few times, that’s a good a documentary as any.

If everyone believes in the same things like Reeboks, Amnesty International and floating exchange rates, who am I am to argue with them? I’m not the crowd. Though, isn’t the wisdom of crowds the right answer every time? Like that crowd in Seattle that fought that nascent battle, they showed wisdom then, right? Right.

Seth Godin’s point is that as an individual we allow ourselves to believe things because we are shaped by those around us. Whether it’s someone carrying on the tradition of Halloween, producing well researched film documentaries or a baby jesus freak preaching the word of the Bible, everyone can shape our views and thoughts.

Hell, Seth does it all the time. His readers must be pretty closed minded right?

My point is that while I prefer the “Trust No One” approach of the X-Files, you can meet the world half way. What is it you are trying to tell me world? Electrons cause electric shocks?

Jesus saves?

I’ll meet you half way.

The lies about Jesus are shocking.

Guest Post: Optimus Prime




My good buddy, The Fearless Leader of the Autobots, took the time to write a guest post for this site. It's a contemplation on his life, and how he's lived it. As you can see, he's put in a fair bit of effort.

Optimus Prime's Guest Post:


Fuck you, Megatron

End Guest Post

Chat to Jimmy Jangles on Twitter!

Fish are Friends, Not Food: The Smiling Great White Shark


Great White Sharks have a bad reputation with swimmers and other ocean dwellers. You can thank Mr Steven Speilberg's Jaws film, the 3 sequels and few bad rip offs for that. The kids film Finding Nemo finally showed that Great White's had been horribly misaligned as the oceans's bad boys. Bruce's line, "Fish are friends, not food" proved almost beyond doubt that these sharks were indeed friendly.  






Now an ocean photographer, Amos Nachoum, has shown the Jaws was wrong and Nemo was indeed right. Great White Sharks are friends! Check out this picture of a supposedly 14 foot Great White appearing to smile for the camera. Those razor sharp pearly whites seem especially friendly! 


The shark was snapped in this unusual pose near Guadalupe Island off Mexico's Pacific coast. Maybe he just wanted the diver to check for baby seal in his teeth?


Check out this orca whale flipping a pseudo orca in the air!


Chat to Jimmy Jangles on Twitter!

The Angels and Demons Guide to high rankings on Google via SEO


angels and demons dan brown seo guide



The Angels and Demons Guide to high rankings on Google via Search Engine Optimisation tricks


So you have a website and you think it’s a better read than Dan Brown’s new novel 'The Lost Symbol' but unlike Dan Brown’s 100 million plus readers you have 6. What do you do?

Applying this simple Angels and Demons Guide to high search engine rankings will help you get that reader recognition you deserve!

SEO Angels:
  • Write page turners. People read The Da Vinci Code because it was a gripping yarn and went down well with a well made homebrewed beer. Dan Brown offers puzzles and then helped the reader along by solving them. Your blog writing needs to help the reader along too – help them solve their problem by giving them a recipe for your grandmother’s cake or how to take down the Illuminati. No one cares what you ate for breakfast.
  • Link to things that are useful. Dan Brown is always giving you the facts with a twist. Angels who link to useful information are sharing the link love and are rewarded by Google with better ranking placement on its result pages.
  • Remind your readers and Google who you are. Dan Brown constantly refers to Robert Langdon’s Mickey Mouse wristwatch to remind the reader of the way the character thinks. Internal linking within your posts using appropriate anchor text helps Google understand what’s important on your site and what makes it tick. When I tell Google that this page is a U2 Concert Set List from New Jersey, it understands the context way better than “this is my blog”. The more specific the internal link, the better Google likes it.
  • Every one of your posts needs an awesome title post to capture the reader’s attention. Angels and Demons? I’ll bite. The Lost Symbol? Sure, I’ll find that. Will your readers bite with a post called “Scone Recipe”? No, so be an angel and title it “Scones that taste better than that of 1000 Grandmothers!” You get what I mean right? Add the butter!
  • Dan Brown is a demon at creating good imagery. And so should your posts, fill them with pictures to give the reader better context about what you’re telling them. At the least it breaks up the text and gives your site a little colour. Google also likes to index pictures and will send visitors your way. Remember, filling in a description of the picture using the "alt” tags is good SEO practice! (if using Blogger check the 'Edit HTML' button in the post writing section and find the tag once you have imported your picture into the post).
SEO Demons:
  • Dan Brown is maligned by the critiques for producing some really odd sentence structures. “The famous man looked at the red cup” arguments apply to your website pages. Make them reader friendly. Don’t be a demon by filling your pages with random keywords. Readers want easy to read pager turners! Like, read these themes of M.Night Shyamalan's The Village.
  • Every Dan Brown novel as a twist. Don’t be a Leigh Teabing and turn on your hero (readers!) by going trying to kill them with gross amounts of advertising, special offers and non related info. Stay on target with your message. Readers will come to your site for the tea and not the killer cognac.
  • Demons wear black hats and robes. Don’t be a demon. Don’t be tempted to do any of the dodgy tricks that you might find on the internet. Google will see through you faster than you saw the plot holes of The Lost Symbol and penalise you for it. Stick to good white hat practices and the Angels will show you the way to higher Google rankings.
  • Dan Brown created the current puzzle solving mystery band wagon. Don’t be a demon and bluff your way through with a rip off of his plots. Don’t copy another’s work, write your own. In a similar vein, if a news event inspires you, don’t simply re post it, add your own original thinking to it. Some blogs attract terrific readerships by simply providing wise commentary on the news events of the day. Are you up to it?
  • Don't cast an invisible spell on your text. You might be thinking, 'Hey! A good use of keywords is good seo and the more I fit on the page the better AND if I hide them I can fit more on the page!'. Wrong! Google knows this lil trick and will penalise your page if you do this.
Employing the hints and tricks in this guide is a simple and effective way to get some love from the Google search engine. I know, I do them myself with good SEO results!

Got any more Angel or Demon like beer making tips? Leave a note in the comments!


Jimmy Jangles reviews Halo 3:ODST




So as I did with Halo 3, I went and got my hands on ODST at midnight. I arrived at EB Games early was confronted with lots of teenagers with acne, Lord of the Rings fans and a seriously troubling amount of goatee beards. What singled me out from them? Perhaps it was my mum didn't drop me off...

So with two bottles of V, and a packet of Twisties I was set to jump in and be a ... Helljumper.

Game setting: Heroic, No skulls. Attitude: keen to explore a little, keeping it clean, mostly interested in the story.


The Review:

An interesting opening scene falls way to a very dull start. Walk around Mombassa, find a few things, shoot a few things. The real action of ODST is the vignettes where the Rookie (you)You get to play in the scenes the Rookie is piecing together traces what has gone on in the past 6 hours. Bungie step up big time in this regard and deliver some remarkably fun set pieces to play. Blowing up bridges, heavy defence scenarios, sniping, strange looking creatures and decent enemy AI means some seriously fun engagments. I did however find wandering through Mombassa slow going and quite dull at times. If I had to call fault on one thing, it's how Bungie consistently fail to decent face detail for their human characters in the Halo series.

halo odst battle shot
The music was very different to previous Halo games. There was no cast back to previous Halo themes here. When playing as the Rookie, the music was moody with saxophones. When belting out the pain to attacking Brutes and Hunters the music was punchy.

The plot evolves around a secret mission that is foisted on the Rookie and his team. It's not explained till the very end why everything is happening and it's hardly anything to write home about but it's nice in its own way. A small payoff at the cut scene following the credit roll will make some fans happy.

Overall I found ODST to be a remarkably solid game. It took me around 8 hours which seemed long enough. Playing through on Legendary will take some patience as there are some tough battle scenarios to run a through and some Libraryesque levels near the end. Playing this game feels like Halo 2 perhaps should have - all the benefits of the bells and whistles of the third with an OK ending. It has big repeat value and the addition of Firefight!

Fans of Halo will probably enjoy this game a fair bit. If you are a noob, I suggest you check out Halo 3 before you try ODST.

P.S. Did anyone figure what whvidldshbyjsdo is in reference to yet?

P.P.S Check out the leaked campaign pictures of Halo: Reach

Check out my review of Halo 6.

It's the blind leading the blonde - U2 Lyrics






All U2's Song Lyrics is my effort at making a home for the lyrics of Bono and the Edge. Why go to this site and not some other dodgy lyric site you might ask?

Well, I've tried to add some information about the songs, what their inspiration might have been and the story around it to help give the reader a better perspective.

As an example, check out the lyrics of:


While I've been building up the site's content, I've been listening to U2 like crazy and loving re-exploring great albums like War and The Unforgettable Fire. The current tour has been going great guns with some sweet set lists that have throwing up some old school U2 such as MLK.

If you're still reading this you might just be a fan - visit All U2's Song Lyrics and tell me what you think!



Top 100 Movie Quotes Ever from AFI


gone with the wind kiss


Top 100 Movie Quotes Ever from AFI


Here's the top 100 movie quotes ever utted on the silver screen as determined by the American Film Institute.

What makes a movie quote so brilliant? 

Is it the timing? 

Is it the delivery? 

Is it the actor?

Is it Maybelline?

Is the quote ironic? 

Perhaps the quote sums up the whole movie as in 'We rob banks' from Bonnie and Clyde. 

Perhaps it just makes us laugh.

Whatever your reasons, enjoy the AFI's Top 100 Movie Quotes.

Quotation number ↓Quotation ↓Character ↓Actor ↓Film ↓Date ↓
1"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"Rhett ButlerClark GableGone with the Wind1939
2"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."Vito Corleone
Marlon BrandoThe Godfather1972
3"You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am."Terry MalloyMarlon BrandoOn the Waterfront1954
4"Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."Dorothy GaleJudy GarlandThe Wizard of Oz1939
5"Here's looking at you, kid."Rick BlaineHumphrey BogartCasablanca1942
6"Go ahead, make my day."Harry Callahan


Clint EastwoodSudden Impact1983
7"All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."Norma DesmondGloria SwansonSunset Boulevard1950
8"May the Force be with you."Han SoloHarrison FordStar Wars Episode IV: A New Hope + title crawl font - oBI-wAN  QUOTES1977
9"Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night."Margo ChanningBette DavisAll About Eve1950
10"You talkin' to me?"Travis BickleRobert De NiroTaxi Driver1976
11"What we've got here is failure to communicate."CaptainStrother MartinCool Hand Luke1967
12"I love the smell of napalm in the morning!"Lt. Col. Bill KilgoreRobert DuvallApocalypse Now1979
13"Love means never having to say you're sorry."Jennifer Cavilleri BarrettAli MacGrawLove Story1970
14"The stuff that dreams are made of."Sam Spade
Humphrey BogartThe Maltese Falcon1941
15"E.T. phone home."E.T.Pat WelshE.T. the Extra-Terrestrial1982
16"They call me Mister Tibbs!"Virgil TibbsSidney PoitierIn the Heat of the Night1967
17"Rosebud."Charles Foster KaneOrson WellesCitizen Kane1941
18"Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"Arthur "Cody" JarrettJames CagneyWhite Heat1949
19"I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!"Howard BealePeter FinchNetwork1976
20"Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."Rick BlaineHumphrey BogartCasablanca1942
21"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."Hannibal Lecter

Anthony HopkinsThe Silence of the Lambs1991
22"Bond. James Bond."James BondSean Connery[8]Dr. No[1]1962
23"There's no place like home."Dorothy GaleJudy GarlandThe Wizard of Oz1939
24"I am big! It's the pictures that got small."Norma DesmondGloria SwansonSunset Boulevard1950
25"Show me the money!"Rod TidwellCuba Gooding, Jr.Jerry Maguire1996
26"Why don't you come up sometime and see me?"Lady LouMae WestShe Done Him Wrong1933
27"I'm walking here! I'm walking here!""Ratso" Rizzo

Dustin HoffmanMidnight Cowboy1969
28"Play it, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes By.'"Ilsa LundIngrid BergmanCasablanca1942
29"You can't handle the truth!"Col. Nathan JessupJack NicholsonA Few Good Men1992
30"I want to be alone."GrusinskayaGreta GarboGrand Hotel1932
31"After all, tomorrow is another day!"Scarlett O'HaraVivien LeighGone with the Wind1939
32"Round up the usual suspects."Capt. Louis RenaultClaude RainsCasablanca1942
33"I'll have what she's having."CustomerEstelle ReinerWhen Harry Met Sally...1989
34"You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow."Marie "Slim" BrowningLauren BacallTo Have and Have Not1944
35"You're gonna need a bigger boat."Martin BrodyRoy ScheiderJaws1975
36"Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges!""Gold Hat"Alfonso BedoyaThe Treasure of the Sierra Madre1948
37"I'll be back."The TerminatorArnold SchwarzeneggerThe Terminator1984
38"Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth."Lou GehrigGary CooperThe Pride of the Yankees1942
39"If you build it, he will come."Shoeless Joe JacksonRay Liotta(voice)Field of Dreams1989
40"Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."Forrest GumpTom Hanks (Finch)Forrest Gump1994
41"We rob banks."Clyde BarrowWarren BeattyBonnie and Clyde1967
42"Plastics."Mr. MaguireWalter BrookeThe Graduate1967
43"We'll always have Paris."Rick BlaineHumphrey BogartCasablanca1942
44"I see dead people."Cole SearHaley Joel OsmentThe Sixth Sense1999
45"Stella! Hey, Stella!"Stanley KowalskiMarlon BrandoA Streetcar Named Desire1951
46"Oh, Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars."Charlotte Vale

Bette DavisNow, Voyager1942
47"Shane. Shane. Come back!"Joey StarrettBrandon De WildeShane1953
48"Well, nobody's perfect."Osgood Fielding IIIJoe E. BrownSome Like It Hot1959
49"It's alive! It's alive!"Henry FrankensteinColin CliveFrankenstein1931
50"Houston, we have a problem."Jim LovellTom HanksApollo 131995
51"You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"Harry CallahanClint EastwoodDirty Harry1971
52"You had me at 'hello'."Dorothy BoydRenée ZellwegerJerry Maguire1996
53"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."Capt. Geoffrey T. SpauldingGroucho MarxAnimal Crackers1930
54"There's no crying in baseball!"Jimmy DuganTom HanksA League of Their Own1992
55"La-dee-da, la-dee-da."Annie HallDiane KeatonAnnie Hall1977
56"A boy's best friend is his mother."Norman BatesAnthony PerkinsPsycho1960
57"Greed, for lack of a better word, is good."Gordon GekkoMichael DouglasWall Street1987
58"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."Michael CorleoneAl PacinoThe Godfather Part II1974
59"As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again."Scarlett O'HaraVivien LeighGone with the Wind1939
60"Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!"OliverOliver HardySons of the Desert1933
61"Say hello to my little friend!"Tony MontanaAl PacinoScarface1983
62"What a dump."Rosa MolineBette DavisBeyond the Forest1949
63"Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?"Benjamin BraddockDustin HoffmanThe Graduate1967
64"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the WAR Room!"President Merkin MuffleyPeter SellersDr. Strangelove1964
65"Elementary, my dear Watson."Sherlock HolmesBasil RathboneThe Adventures of Sherlock Holmes1939
66"Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"George TaylorCharlton HestonPlanet of the Apes1968
67"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."Rick BlaineHumphrey BogartCasablanca1942
68"Here's Johnny!"Jack TorranceJack NicholsonThe Shining1980
69"They're here!"Carol Anne FreelingHeather O'RourkePoltergeist1982
70"Is it safe?"Dr. Christian SzellLaurence OlivierMarathon Man1976
71"Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothin' yet!"Jakie Rabinowitz/Jack RobinAl JolsonThe Jazz Singer1927
72"No wire hangers, ever!"Joan CrawfordFaye DunawayMommie Dearest1981
73"Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico?"Cesare Enrico "Rico" BandelloEdward G. RobinsonLittle Caesar1930
74"Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown."DuffyJoe MantellChinatown1974
75"I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."Blanche DuBoisVivien LeighA Streetcar Named Desire1951
76"Hasta la vista, baby."The TerminatorArnold SchwarzeneggerTerminator 2: Judgment Day1991
77"Soylent Green is people!"Det. Robert ThornCharlton HestonSoylent Green1973
78"Open the pod bay doors, HAL."Dave BowmanKeir Dullea2001: A Space Odyssey1968
79Striker: "Surely you can't be serious!" Rumack: "I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."Ted Striker and Dr. RumackRobert Haysand Leslie NielsenAirplane!1980
80"Yo, Adrian!"Rocky Balboa

Sylvester StalloneRocky1976
81"Hello gorgeous."Fanny BriceBarbra StreisandFunny Girl1968
82"Toga! Toga!"John "Bluto" BlutarskyJohn BelushiNational Lampoon's Animal House1978
83"Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make."Count DraculaBela LugosiDracula1931
84"Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast."Carl DenhamRobert ArmstrongKing Kong1933
85"My precious."Gollum

Andy SerkisThe Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers2002
86"Attica! Attica!"Sonny WortzikAl PacinoDog Day Afternoon1975
87"Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a star!"Julian MarshWarner Baxter42nd Street1933
88"Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't you forget it. You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!"Ethel ThayerKatharine HepburnOn Golden Pond1981
89"Tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper."Knute Rockne[29]Pat O'BrienKnute Rockne, All American1940
90"Shaken, not stirred."James BondSean ConneryGoldfinger1964
91"Who's on First?"DexterBud AbbottThe Naughty Nineties1945
92"Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac…It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!"Carl SpacklerBill MurrayCaddyshack1980
93"Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!"Mame DennisRosalind RussellAuntie Mame1958
94"I feel the need—the need for speed!"Lt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell and Lt. Nick "Goose" BradshawTom Cruise and Anthony EdwardsTop Gun1986
95"Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary."John Keating

Robin WilliamsDead Poets Society1989
96"Snap out of it!"Loretta CastoriniCherMoonstruck1987
97"My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you."George M. CohanJames CagneyYankee Doodle Dandy1942
98"Nobody puts 'Baby' in a corner."Johnny CastlePatrick SwayzeDirty Dancing1987
99"I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!"Wicked Witch of the WestMargaret HamiltonThe Wizard of Oz1939
100"I'm the king of the world!"Jack DawsonLeonardo DiCaprioTitanic1997