So like I have joined a band finally. Of sorts.
We're called 'Chucky and the Moody Coops'.
Screaming: Charlie Chicken
Bass: The Swar
'Cussin: DJ Rano
Lead string thing: E
Jangles: Other string thing.
We play a mean Dave Matthews cover.
Our first gig is some winery in HB in early January.
I'm on holiday so I wont write, I wont call for a wee while.
Not him anyway.
Did you wander along the yellow brick road last night? Did you get lost Tin Man? High as a kite the Lion King might just stop to check you out. G / C G / C. Emerald City indeed.
But I have digressified, this is just pictures in the mirror. You know I tried to make you realise. I told you Hamish Marshall was no good. At least 007 made.it.happen. The Monster is Loose! Oh to be a better man Robbie, doing all you can. I wish I was a Fat Dancer from Take that. Narrrtt!
Waiting, watching, its four o’clock, I’ve got to stop. Hakuna Matata.
Bono was asked to introduce Frank Sinatra when the vocal legend was given the Lifetime Achievement Award at the 1994 Grammy Awards. This is the speech Bono delivered in honor of Sinatra, a speech Sinatra called "... probably the best introduction I've ever had."
Frank never did like Rock and Roll And he's not crazy about guys wearing earrings either But he doesn't hold it against me And anyway, the feeling is not mutual
Rock and Roll people love Frank Sinatra because Frank has got what we want: swagger and attitude; he's big on attitude Serious attitude, bad attitude Frank's the Chairman of the bad Rock and Roll plays at being tough but this guy, well, he's the boss The boss of bosses The man The big bang of pop I'm not gonna mess with him, are you?
Who's this guy that every city in America wants to claim as their own? This painter who lives in the desert, this first-rate, first-take actor This singer who makes other men poets Boxing clever with every word Talking like America Tough, straight-up, in headlines Comin' through with the big stick, the aside, the quiet compliment Good cop, bad cop, all in the same breath You know his story 'cause it's your story Frank walks like America -- cock-sure
It's 1945 and the U.S. Cavalry are trying to get their asses out of Europe, but they never really do They're part of another kind of invasion AFR -- American Forces Radio (sic) Broadcasting a music that'll curl the stiff upper-lip of England and the rest of the world Paving the way for Duke Ellington, the big band, Tommy Dorsey And right out in front -- Frank Sinatra His voice as tight as a fist Opening at the end of a bar Not on the beat, over it, playing with it, splitting it like a jazz man, like Miles Davis Turning on the right phrase and the right song Which is where he lives, where he lets go, where he reveals himself.
His songs are his home and he lets you in But you know that to sing like that you've gotta have lost a couple of fights To know tenderness and romance you've gotta have had your heart broken
People say that Frank hasn't talked to the press, they wanna know how he is, what's on his mind But you know Sinatra's out there more nights than most punk bands Selling his story through the songs Telling and articulate in the choice of those songs Private thoughts on a public address system Generous
This is the conundrum of Frank Sinatra Left and right brain hardly talking Boxer and painter, actor and singer, lover and father, bandman and loner Troubleshooter and troublemaker The champ who would rather show you his scars than his medals He may be putty in Barbara's hands But I'm not gonna mess with him, are you?
Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to welcome a man heavier than the Empire State, more connected than the Twin Towers, as recognizable as the Statue of Liberty, and living proof that God is a Catholic!
Will you welcome the King of New York City, Francis Albert Sinatra!
With a batting display like that on a wicket that was doing f all - it's no wonder the English like apple crumble.
Maybe we should send them Hamish Marshall.... he'd have lasted at least another over.
What's the difference between Mel Gibson and Michael Richards?
Best answer gets a choc fish.....
“I’m so glad Westlife are ahead of Oasis," he raged. "[Noel Gallagher's] an absolute tosser and he looks like Parker from Thunderbirds.”
"They don’t deserve to be number one. It’s not a greatest hits album because they’ve left three of their biggest hits off it"
Elton’s probably just upset that his latest album didn’t chart as high as Stop the Clocks. Or is it that he’s on tour?
Either way Elton might be on the money...
Sick of U2 yet?
Today Tomorrow Timauru?
America’s Cup. Who gives a shiny one?
Old man grampa aint what she used to be?
Is your box heart shaped?
Smashing Pumpkins – most overrated band of the 90s?
Phased about the AB’s having lowest priced World Cup odds ever?
All you skinny white boyz out there, please shave your Movember Mo s? You look like pedos
And all this reminded me I forgot to ask in the last post - did anyone else notice Bono come into early for a verse during One? I thought it was only me but the Manatee thought so - like the Stones did in Easter when Mick Jagger missed a cue, the band played around it and it sounded sweet - a testament to good musos everywhere.
Amusing question from Charlie Chicken after the gig, "What was the name of the song with the Kite?"
Hmm guess I'm still buzzing.
P.S. Go fuck yourself Tom Cardy.
According to blogger this is my 701st post. I'm catching u DPF!
I have a cold and am grumpy so I’ll give it a fisking. Not a quite a Keith Ng fisking of a former Act party MP, but a fisking nonetheless. I actually prefer fishing.
# my comments with a #
NEW YORK: Rock icons Oasis have released their greatest songs album capturing more than a decade of hits, but the band's main songwriter Noel Gallagher says his best-known tunes are not so great.
For many Oasis fans, three songs – Wonderwall, Don't Look Back in Anger and Champagne Supernova from the blockbuster hit 1995 album (What's the Story) Morning Glory? – were the defining moment for the band.
# no shiz , Sherlock.
For Gallagher, the album was overrated.
"Morning Glory, I don't think it's the best-sounding record we have ever done," Gallagher told Reuters in an interview. "Some of the songs are not as great as people think they are."
#Are you deaf? I suspect you turned it up to 11 too often.
As for the notion that Don't Look Back in Anger and Wonderwall captured the spirit of optimism of the mid-1990s, Gallagher puts much of it down to timing.
# Well Kurt D Cobain did kill himself. There was no one else after Eddie Vedder went all political.
"There was always going to be one defining British album that came out at that time, it just so happened we put ours out at the right time and the songs, being about hope and love, just struck a chord with people," Gallagher said.
#Struck a chord. Bon Mots!
"I don't much like Wonderwall, but the effect that song has on people, I can't deny it," he said. "Great music is in the ear of the beholder."
#And when you turned it into a big dumb rock song on tour you ruined it git.
"I still don't know who this chick Sally is," he said of the heroine of Don't Look Back in Anger.
# She’s your fat mumma.
"I wrote the thing and I don't know what it means, but for some reason, for (fans) it means the world to them," he said.
#It's kinda like this blog then, I guess
"All those lyrics, like Champagne Supernova and that, they were just nonsense ... you can think about those lyrics for the next 500 years and they still won't mean anything."
# I once used that song’s lyrics to decode a Dom Post cryptic crossword, thank you very much.
As Gallagher reviews the 18-song, two-disc Stop the Clocks compilation, he says the band's first album Definitely Maybe from 1994 remains his best work.
# Thank God Liam wrote Songbird eh?
"People are still hailing it as one of the greatest albums of all time," he said, calling it on a par with the seminal punk opus Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex Pistols.
# Its better. Sex Pistols are overrated bollocks
Absent from the album, which includes some of the band's famed B-sides, is anything from their third effort, 1997's Be Here Now, when the band came close to imploding under the weight of their own success and a blizzard of cocaine.
# Bad call, D’yer Know What I Mean guv?
"As soon as you get involved in cocaine, it all goes out the window because you think that every note you play on the guitar is ... monumental," Gallagher said.
# I did like the solo on It's Gettin' Better (Man!!)
Now 39, Gallagher is more relaxed that at the height of his fame and drug abuse when he notoriously wished Blur frontman Damon Albarn death by AIDS before later apologising.
#Why would you do that? Gorrillaz sux.
"It's shallow," Gallagher said of the life of drugs he gave up in 1998 after a moment of clarity.
# Yeah but I bet you got laid once or twice.
"Back in the day, I was prone to making sweeping statements," he said, adding that he has no real regrets. "It was a time for heroes, it wasn't a time for being reserved and concise about our success. We were ... bigger than Jesus."
# Gorrillaz is regrettably also bigger than Jesus these days.
Now having completed a six-album record deal with Sony Music, Gallagher says he has no plans because for the first time since 1994, Oasis are without a recording contract.
# Um don’t you own your own label now...
"It's quite a liberating feeling," he said. "I'm sitting back at the minute and saying, 'I couldn't be bothered, I've achieved everything I ever set out to achieve.'"
# Um but you didn’t crack America properly. Well I guess you did better than that phat prick Robbie.
"But on the other hand, Oasis is such a fantastic thing, you could never walk away from it, ever," he said. "While you still have breath in your lungs and could still stand up and weren't bald, you couldn't walk away from this."
# So no solo album in the future then?
"Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast
of the night"
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
Oasis’ new best of ‘Stop the Clocks’ has me flying a plane in my big mouth. Not that I need it, I have every Oasis album and a billion singles but it’s the concept of Oasis having a best of out that I love.
Some might say Oasis are over the hill, hasbeens who should make way for gonna bees. Well stop the clock indeed, Don’t Believe the Truth put paid to the disaster that was the great rock and roll swindle, Be Here Now and picked up where Heathen Chemistry had hinted the band had rebirthed and firmly stomped Oasis back to number one all around the world.
Oasis are the best band in the world and that’s a fact, Jacky Brown. No band since 1994 has consistently released such quality output, especially in terms of singles being released. The song writing is suburb, though granted the their delivery has not always been the case. A blend of all Who have been before infused with a lil bit of stolen Teen Spirit has meant Oasis were the bomb. They needed each other as much as fans like me needed them.
Stop the Clocks will stack up as one of the best best ofs ever. In my blatantly subjective and biased opinion it rates up there with Michael Jackson’s History, Beatles “1” and the Eagles. Songs like Wonderwall, Live Forever, Lyla, Slide Away, Song bird, The Importance of Being Idle and The Masterplan make it so. In a captain Piccard kind of way.
The fact Stops the Clocks will not have Roll With It, Stand by Me, D’yer know what I mean or Whatever on it speaks volumes as to the quality of the songs that are there.
The thing about Oasis has always been their b-sides. They are better than most band’s A sides. And thus The Masterplan is treated like the National Anthem in Britain and deserves its place on the album.
So all your Oasis haters out there can go listen to your Gnarls Barley and your EMO crap, people who know what music is supposed to sound like and make you feel, head down to your Soundz or whereever next week and grab yourself a copy. That’s what a space man would do. D’yer know what I mean?
Extra for Experts:
I will concede that if Metallica were to put a best of up I imagine that would pretty much be the best best of ever.
"Well, I guess it aint art if its from a department store"
and feeling like suddenly I'm Miss Farrah Fawcett From TV I said, "I couldn't agree more!"
Any way, ... How about Kwahng Yi on guitar, ladies and gentlemen! Give it up! Kwahng Yi.
Doogie Howser M.D. is gay!! (Not that there's anything wrong with that).
So the Kakapo is an endangered NZ parrot. There are like only about 100 of the cute birds about.
These green parrots obviously need to breed to survive but they aint got the message about their forth coming extinction. So concerned Kiwis have set up a breeding programme to help them out.
These people discovered that male kakapo have a tendency to engage people's heads in a sexual mating fashion. It must be some kind of fetish. They don't want do do it with their own kind, but if they see a flap of human hair, they get all frisky.
In an effort to collect Kakapo sperm for the breeding programme, some wiseguy invented 'The Ejaculation Helmet'. I kid you not, that's what it is called. The Ejaculation Helmet is supposed to be worn by some poor sap at which time they then let the Kakapo have his wicked way on their head.
The above picture is is from the Te Papa Museum. The accompanying caption said that the helmet was not successful. So some guy once got fucked on the head by a parrot for nothing.
Te Papa Museum is also home to this awesome Collosal Squid
Both riffs are played at kind of the same tempo as Slash's. 'One' in particular is kind of almost the inverse of SCOM.
So as I wandered by KFC with the stale smells of dead chickens killed before their time I asked myself, "Who is NZ's best guitarist?"
And so I pondered.
My initial thought was Neil Finn. He's an older rocker. We know he can write melodies but can he play guitar like he is trying to tame a drunken lion? No. He's damn good but I'll put him in the songwriter catergory. Same for Dave Dobbyn. I'm loyal but I don't believe gods and rock mix. Unless you are Creed.
So what about that dude from The Datsuns, Phil Datsun who can wail like a mother fucker from hell? Yes and bless, he wants to be Jimmy Page but his front man lets him down. Don't get me wrong though, Datsuns make rock dangerous.
James Reid from the Feelers? Apart from his penchant for MC Hammer covers in between songs the man did write 'Venus' and the fact he played ACDC's 'Back in Black' (Come Back Chris Cairns, all is forgiven) one rocking New Years Eve in Napier means he gets an auditon for NZ's best guitarist.
One of Wellington's favourite sons from Shihad perhaps? John Toogood or Phil Knight each play a mean axe. They tame lions all knight, every knight. Toogood may in fact be a lil crazy and in need of a pie and therefore is disqualified. Thus its gotta be Phil. Despite various terrible curly haircuts he's in the band that practically rewrote the national anthem with 'Home Again' (People say its Whaling by the Dobster but like, whatever). And because of that riff he gets the nod. Phil Knight is NZ's best guitarist.
Of course this musing has only picked a few contemporary artists and I probably should have put in the guy from Supergroove as his riffs rocked the house, for whatever reason. If anyone says I missed out Shane Carter they can just piss off. If that guy from the (Dance) Exponents who wrote that 'Victoria' riff was around today I'd give it to him on that alone cos that riff, she speeds...
Your thoughts dear reader?
Must. Stop. Using. Stupid. Full. Stops. Every. Time.
You can’t get no satisfaction with all the distraction of a Bucket on your Head
You’re a devil without sympathy
Without a backing band, you’re a long time dead
Use your illusion to escape the confusion of this mess
Dammit, you know Straddlin’s songs were the best.
Your November riffs broke the ceiling’s glass
Its shattered shards fell like a folded hand of cards.
But with high stakes, the loss is hard
Have you’ve been told you’re not special, just a rusted spoke in a broken fifth wheel?
Just another red brick in the wall?
Come on, get real, we know you’re just waiting for the Division Bells to call.
Sick of preaching and screeching? Well, your fans are a beseeching
Let it rip, stop the hypocrisy,
Release Chinese Democracy.
The Northland office of telecommunications company Gen-i has a new take on the automated phone system.
Here's what you need to do:
* Call (09) 470 0100;
* Listen to the automated recording;
* After listening to the list, press 4.
Make sure you are paying attention....
How about a shag then?
NIN rocked that day. To hear Head Like a Hole was pretty cool - as was Hurt and of course, the kick ass stuff on The Fragile.
Robin Finck has been playing for GNR lately. His version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow is brilliant. Log onto Limewire or something and download it.
I only mention this cos there's nothing else to listen to until Chinese Democracy comes out. If ever. Well it's coming here's the Chinese Democracy Album Lyrics.
And then one washup up, has-been All Black with a busted ankle, one kidney and who is struggling against a swollen lunar tide to regain former glories (and what glories they were!) joins the team and suddenly they win the Ranfurly Shield???
Inspired by such a move many teams have adjusted their selection policies:
The Knights have drafted in Wynton Rufer*
The Black Caps have called in Murphy Sua
Irene Van Dyke will start for the Tall Ferns
*Is actually a realistic move innit?...
Stolen from the SMH which said "An iguana runs for the deep water of a canal in Davie, Florida, where a colony of a few hundred wild iguanas have lived for the past 10 years".
JJ says 'Why it would be cool to be an Iguana':
No need to worry about rent
Job? WF Job?
"Green around the gills" is a compliment
You'll probably star on The Crocodile Hunter Diaries with Steve Urwin at some stage.
No need to worry about pesky election expenses claims forms
You have a long tounge.
No bats an eyelid when you eat bugs
Extra for experts: Wicked Wiki on the buggers
JJ's Doosandonts - Proudly presented with a Dennis Waterman theme tune (do do de do)
Try the Veal
Iron your shirt
Believe rock and roll can really save the world
Listen to Johnny Cash. He knew it all
Buy fair trade coffee
Believe in John Lennon. He was a know it all
Swim with the Dolphins
Sit round reading blogs all day
Believe rock and roll can really save the world
RIO DE JANEIRO: A Brazilian referee faces suspension after she awarded a goal that television pictures showed was scored by a ball boy.
The 89th minute goal allowed Santacruzense to snatch a 1-1 draw at home to Atletico Sorocaba in the Paulista Football Federation (FPF) Cup on Sunday, a regional tournament played in the state of Sao Paulo.
Pictures showed that after a Santacruzense player shot narrowly wide, the boy collected the ball with his feet and took it back on to the pitch.
However, instead of returning it to the goalkeeper, he subtly tapped it across the line into the net.
Although there was nearly 10 seconds between the shot going out and the boy placing the ball over the line, referee Silvia Regina de Oliveira awarded a goal amid furious Sorocaba protests.
This is classic. Once I was playing hockey for a Massey University team and I did something similarly cheeky and got away with it.
We were on attack in the D minutes after I had scored a goal. I was playing winger and was on the right of the striker who shot at goal. His shot went wide of the goal and went out of play. It hit this metal fence post and made a large twang! Everyone thought that was the end of the play. Not so, the ball rebounded into play really fast and having ran on I slotted the ball between the legs of the goalie and the goal. And the ref gave it to me, possibly believing the twang was from the the goal post.
The other team was furious! And complained to the ref bitterly to no effect and they then abused the fuck out of me for being a cheating punk. We won 3 - 1. Cool.
I loved playing Hockey at Massey. In my second year we had a really good team (it was the Massey third team) with some really skiffull players and goalie with a huge heart. We all gelled really well and to the disbelief of the community we made the Final of the competition.
After some good form we had just sneaked into the last semi final spot because we protested against a team fielded some first grade players. I got a goal in each half in the semi for a 2 - 0 win and we made the final. I know it sounds vain telling this story but it was one of those 'moments' you never forget. I'll also never forget in another game catching a flying ball to the balls. They carried me off cos I couldn't walk for 5 minutes.
I remember they did a preview report on the Radio on the day of the Final saying we were going to lose and it pissed me off. We lost by about 5 goals I think. I know I played crap that day. That day the Coach tried to psyche us up by playing 'Eye of the Tiger' at our team run warmup but right, now the Bruce Springsteen song is playing in my head!
This is what happens when pythons are released into the Everglades. The pythons get eyes bigger than their stomachs and think it's safe to eat a whole crocodile.
The Professor Mazzotti who knows about these things believes the alligaotor was alive when the battle began. It may have clawed at the python's stomach as the snake tried to digest it, leading to the blow-up of the stomach..
The python was found with the gator's hindquarters protruding from its midsection. Its stomach still surrounded the alligator's head, shoulders, and forelimbs.
Scientists have documented four encounters between the giant snakes and alligators in the last three years. The encroachment of Burmese pythons into the Everglades could threaten an $8 billion restoration project and endanger smaller species.
Want more? Check out this python pulling a kangaroo up a cliff!
A happy, well fed python sits on a highway after swallowing a pregnant ewe in the village of Kampung Jabor which is about 200km east of Kuala Lumpur. The six-metre snake weighing 90kg was too laden to move, making it easy for local firemen to capture it.. with what looks like a piece of rope.
Check out what happens when an Anaconda tries to eat an alligator!
Or check out Animals Eating Animals where the title is what happens!
Without an end to the madness in sight, the Beehive up the road looms as an answer. BK simply needs to put in a pipe to the debating chamber from the BK kitchen. I'm sure all the hot air released in the chamber could be utilised somehow.
* Why the dumb name change? San Francisco Bath House? Sounds like a gentlemanly retreat of some kind. It would help explain some of the gay bands they've had lately.
You were simply a food bill.