Back in the old days there were two TVNZ Channels 1 and 2. The Good Night Kiwi animation ran on each to signal the end of the day's transmission. It was much loved in my family and those across NZ - we often got the magazines that the Kiwi starred in. No idea what they were called...
The animation is the Kiwi and a cat turn out the lights of the TVNZ studio, put out an empty milk bottle, climb a flight of stairs and take a lift to the top of a satellite tower before settling into bed in the satellite dish screened from 1980 to October 1994.
We generally don't put out milk money these days!
Wikipedia says that the music that starts when Kiwi plays an audiobook cassette is an instrumental arrangement of the traditional Māori lullaby, Hine e Hine, or was sometimes God Save the Queen.
Stuff reports that three new cat and kiwi sequences have been made to promote the Christmas Season.
The first, to screen from tomorrow, has the pair decorating a Christmas tree; in the second, to screen between Christmas and New Year, the Christmas tree is dismantled; and the third, for the rest of summer, has the Kiwi reclining on a lilo in a pool disturbed by the cat.
How long has the longest incorrect fact remained on Wikipedia? Did it really matter?
What about that Halloween Maniac who shot the kid? :(
Would you rank Dig Out Your Soul higher than Don't Believe the Truth?
When does Transformer 2: Revenge of the Fallen come out? Optimus Prime wants to know.
With all the US Election mania, would you get Joe the Plumber to fix your drains?
Are you a rankmaniac?
What do you think of GNR's Chinese Democracy Lyrics? Will you buy or steal download the album?
But where's your heart ?
Does the cocoa cola company own it ?
Are u moving towards a sustainable practice ?
Either way store your heart in a cool place
And watch out for emo kids
After conquering the oppressive humans in Conquest for the Planet of the Apes, some 30 years before, Caeser tries to keep the peace amongst the humans and apes, albiet with apes in charge.
Gorilla General Aldo views things differently, and tries to cause an ape civil war (of like 200 hundred monkeys). In the meantime, other human survivors learn of the ape city, and decide they want to take back civilization for themselves.
This sets up the most ludicrous battle scene possibly ever filmed in the entire history of bad films. The army from the city rolls up in their 3 motor bikes, a jeep with a canon and a school bus and burns a few monkey tree huts. Sensing victory they interrogate Ceaser who calls the foxing Apes to arms and they actually win the Battle for the Planet!
Cue an Orangtang giving a history lesson to both apes and human children some 600 years in the future! Gasp Ceaser changed the future! Earth did not explode! Chimps and Men can live in harmony!
While the previous for movies had some pretty dodgy paradigms, Battle for the Planet seems to ignore the cannon and comes up with some pretty odd situations. You have to suspend your belief for a bit to accept that in 30 years all Apes and Chimps can talk and can rationalise about space time continuums. You have to accept that a nuclear bomb can destroy a city but that everything below the surface can survive intact and that the electricity still works. You have to accept Caeser can set up an Ape City a day's walk from the city and that the bomb only destroyed the city and nothing else. You have to believe that in 30 years the Gorillas have formed an army ...of 30 Gorrillas.
It also sounds like they cut out a scene which would have given the movie some real relevance to the Ape series, in particular Beneath the Planet of the Apes.
The cut scene was from the end of the film which shows the beginnings of the House of Mendez cult. The humans in the city are about to fire off the doomsday bomb but decide not to, as it would destroy the Earth. Instead they form a religion around the bomb.
Overall, after the brilliance of the first 3 movies, the good effort of the third Battle for the Planet of the Apes is an Epic let down. Do yourself a favour and watch the original Planet of the Apes.
Conquest: The act or process of conquering
Conquest of the Planet of Apes: a film about conquering.
The 4th movie in the Apes series takes place in 1991, 20 years after the events of the Escape from the Planet of the Apes. Cornelius and Zira are dead, but they gave birth to a baby ape who resurfaces as 20 year old ape with a monkey on his back about the treatment of his parents.
Apes have supplanted dogs and cats as household pets due to a virus killing all the world's pets and have replaced human servants as put upon personal assistants. The allegory is they are Black American Slaves.
The conquest begins as Caesar leads his chimp brothers in rebellion against the human oppressors by process of mutiny and then out and out revolt against their masters. This action is ultimately supposed to lead to the events of the Planet of the Apes movie but the Escape movie has created a predestination paradox or time loop. Something cannot come from the future to cause the future as the present has to happen uninterpreted to cause the future! Maybe the Battle for the Planet of the Apes will settle that one...
The film is particularly brutal in its depictions of violence against both beast and man. The finishing battle royale is a brute of a thing with apes blindly knifing Nazi styled guards and soldiers and bullet based massacres of charging apes.
The movie finishes with Caesar rejecting violence towards man but aiming to dominate them none-the-less with this speech:"But now... now we will put away our hatred. Now we will put down our weapons. We have passed through the night of the fires, and those who were our masters are now our servants. And we, who are not human, can afford to be humane. Destiny is the will of God, and if it is man’s destiny to be dominated, it is God’s will that he be dominated with compassion, and understanding. So, cast out your vengeance. Tonight, we have seen the birth of the Planet of the Apes!"
It was a tacked on ending. The first cut of the film had Caesar order the the execution of all the humans but test audiences found this too bleak and so Caesar's speech as added in. So as I gave praise for the film makers killing everyone in Beneath the Planet of the Apes, I take it away here for chickening out.
It's interesting to note that Caesar's name in Escape from the Planet of the Apes was Milo. I presume it was changed to reflect the life of the Roman Emperor, Julius Caesar.
Here's the ending on video:
The IMDB gives the following synopsis"Cornelius and Zira, the simian ape couple from the first two ape films, flee from their doomed planet (after the events in Beneath...) in the same spaceship used by Taylor in the first film, and travel back through the same space/time porthole and land on late 20th Century Earth where they are received with fascination and fear from the people they meet."
I describe it as thus: Apes crash to Earth! Apes are Persecuted! Apes have a baby! Apes must Escape the Planet of the Apes! Tragic ending!
As has become expected by this time, the film makes good use of social commentary - the obvious is all there ape rights, equality for all. But it gets into the battle of the sexes, duplicitous scientists, abortion, forced sterilization and the question just about every sci fi movie about time travel struggles with - do humans have the right to alter their future?
It even asks the classic question - if you could, would you go back in time and kill Adolf Hitler?
Escape from the Planet of the Apes answers how the Earth got to the state it was in the first two ape movies. Cornelius described how a plague killed all the dogs and cats which lead to the enslavement of all the apes as pets who eventually revolted against man.
Overall, Escape from the Planet of the Apes is not as thrilling as the first two movies, suffering from third-movie-itus however it has it's moments and is a fun Sunday afternoon DVD.
Most sequels are over the top but Beneath the Planet of the Apes goes beneath the top to a world where religious zealots who worship an armed nuclear warhead go head to head with some grumpy gorillas intent on religious war in the name of their beliefs...
If this film wasn't released in 1970 I'd swear it was a commentary on the arms race of the eighties and nuclear politics or even the various American wars in Iraq with a bit of Islamic fundamentalism thrown in for good measure.
Or it could just be another movie about apes thinking they rule the planet.
The premise is that Taylor and Nova, our heroes from the original Planet of the Apes left the apes to go find themselves - instead Taylor found he was on Earth. They travel inwards from the coast and Taylor disappears...
An astronaut, named Brent, is sent on a mission from Earth to find the missing astronaut crew from the first film, and as his bad luck would have it he crashes on the planet of the apes, Earth, where he stumbles upon an underground city where the last humans have hold up in hiding from the dreaded ape army now out to exterminate mankind as man is not so kind to monkeys. He finds Nova and predictably gets caught by the apes. Then he escapes, Yay!
He finds Taylor and they get caught up in the battle between the humans and the apes. Having killed off every major character along the way, with his dying act Taylor sets off the atomic bomb ending the war between the animals and in doing so destroys all life on planet Earth.
Which is great because most movies chicken out and do the miracle rescue ending. Taylor damns them all to hell!
The movie explores themes similar themes to the original but this time focuses more on the use of religious dogma as a reason to go to war. It pits the seemingly cruel human religious zealots who want peace but worship a nuclear weapon versus the supposed morally superior Ape race who derive their faith from interpreting some old scrolls.
The movie has a great scene where the humans celebrate a mass in honour of the atomic bomb. Borrowing heavily from the traditional Catholic mass the movie succeeds in highlighting the absurdity of religion and blind faith in general. At the climax of the mass the humans reveal their true selves to their god and in a great mini surprise they remove their masks to hide some hideously grotesque faces. It's quite a horrific movie moment and for me the highlight of the movie.
So in all not quite as riveting as the first movie but its set pieces where pretty good and with a fairly hectic ending, it gets two thumbs up as a pretty sweet lazy sunday afternoon DVD.
So like I broke into to Chucky's house and stole his Box Set of the entire Planet of the Apes series which is the original, Plant of the Apes and four sequels.
I saw this film as a kid back in the day when we only had two tv channels and thought it was a cool movie about apes. Nowadays as a grown up (of sorts, I'm still watching ape movies) I was able to enjoy the movie's themes as well.
The movie explores all kinds of themes, man's doomsday death wish and love of war. Racism and class war. Vivisection and the youth rebelling against the ideals of the dominant generation. It explores the hypocrisy of religion and the quest for scientific knowledge. With all these things packed into the film you sometimes forget that our hero is being chased by monkeys with guns. It almost sounds like Snakes on a Plane but less farcical. The farce comes in the sequels...
The score is excellent. At times the music mimics the jungle so we get a riotous cacophony of gorillas and chimp in the chase bits.
I presume you've seen at least the original so you know the basic premise and probably that the film has one of the most famous twists in a movie. No, our hero Taylor (played by a swaggering Charlton Heston) is not a ghost but a manwho faces his destiny when he realises he has been on the plant Earth all along.
At this time one is presumably to supposed to reflect on the the title of the film and how it not only refers to the apes but also the men that sent Taylor to his ultimate destiny.
Here's a great discussion on the other endings that were thought of during the scripting process.
And here's a video of the ending with a suddenly very depressed Charlton Heston crying "You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!" which I realised I could still remember most of from when I saw it as a kid, it was that cool an ending.
How to avoid germs, cooties, and other nasties
Germs are everywhere!
In the sink, in your coffee and in your spleen.
On door knob and in the unwrapped mints on the counter of the restaurant. You should take no comfort that your desk has more germs than a toilet.
So for all the germ phobes, obsessive compulsives, and avian flu junkies out there, Jimmy Jangles brings you "How to avoid germs, cooties and other nasties".
- When you visit the loo in a public place (movies, work etc) push open the doors well above or below the door handle. Chances are those spots are clear and more germ free than the urine stained handle that the weird guy in IT no talks to left behind
- Avoid Avian Flu but not talking to Avians
- It's okay to talk to Germans, except about the war. Don't mention the war! Just lie back and and think of England.
- Live in a giant bubble like the Bubble Boy.
- Don't press lift buttons. Use a pencil or wait for your colleague. God knows which filthy beggar has been there before you. At least you'll avoid the snot and boggies I left for you after I picked my nose all morning.
- Don't smoke the cigarette butts you found in the street. I mean really, it's a filthy habit.
- Use the First Toilet in the Bathroom/washroom stall. Men better than you or I have conducted research which has shown that that most people use the middle stall so leave those ones to the common people. This is because more use such as dropping the kids off at the pool means they're the dirtiest and have the most germs.
- Don't hold hands with girls, they have cooties! Eooohwww!! Girl germs. Don't kiss them either.
- When finished a set at the gym, wear jandals in the shower. Athlete's foot is not your friend.
- After you've spent all night at the Strip Club, wash your hands. You know why.
- The Foot Flush: Instead of flushing the toilet with you hand, use the bottom of your shoe!
In other movie sequel news, Micheal Bay has confirmed I'll be starring as Shia's love interest in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
Indeed Optimus Prime and I were having a brandy last evening when he exclaimed that The Down Easter Alexa was his favourite song. I ventured, any man that can sing a song about his love for his fishing boat can't be an asshole but that Grant Smithies is.
Then Ratchet came in and said Grimlock wanted to be told a story about Rabbits so Prime went and obliged.
I put on Allentown and had another brandy.
So like after the success of what ever happened to Penelope Barr?, Jimmy Jangles brings you:
What ever happened to Fenella Bathfield?
"Fenella Dobson was in australia had two children, thus the weight gain, which is now quite gone, and now lives in Hong Kong. This is her by the way and you can check me out on facebook as Fenella Bathfield/Dobson and see what i look like now! fenella"
Cheers Fenella, we really appreciate that! Kiwis - 'bless em - they are real people.
You don't see Oprah Winfrey leaving messages round here do you?
This guy reckons something fell out on 3.45 live once. That probably gave Ollie Olsen a heart attack. Of course, it aint on Youtube and if it aint on Youtube it didn't happen eh?
Well actually there's not a lot of info on the interwebz about Ms Fenella Bathfield - so if you've got a story to share leave it in the comments.
Image Source: Fenella's Myspace page.
Heh I Said Bush. It's a wine in a green bottle. Or rather is a 2007 Sauvignon Blanc from Purr Products.
So we grabbed it from the supermarket cos who doesn't want to try cat pee and support the SPCA?
For the record, those with discriminating taste will find it tastes like the proverbial. Winos will give a pass mark.
Some actual wine dude described the 2004 Cat's pee as "Named for a common way of describing the aromas of Sauvignon Blanc, this has more gooseberry than the other descriptors, along with green apple flavours and zesty acidity. Pair it with goat cheese and tomato tart."
Here's my fawning review of The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Despite this book being fawned over by Oprah Winfrey and her book club, I must say this is one of the most entertaining reads I've had in a while.
It's horrific, it's hungry, it's human.
It's also on Amazon.
The story is set in an unknown time of an unexplained post apocalyptic destruction. A great fire has scorched the earth along the road on which which a tired father and his son travel seeking warmer climes.
"Like the onset of some cold glaucoma dimming away the world"
This sentence just sets the tone of the novel perfectly.
Note the glaucoma line should probably have a comma. Cormac McCarthy only uses full stops, question marks and the odd apostrophe for punctuation. This lacking only serves to highlight the bareness of the travelers' path.
At its heart, The Road is a story of an endearingly protective father who guard his son's life with his own. This is not Finding Nemo but is a broken road through hell where the sharks are men who think nothing of eating human flesh, in fact in McCarthy's world these men harvest the arms and legs of their captives, while the captives are still alive.
It literally day to day living.
The story is savage enough but this book didn't with the 1997 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 2007 for nothing (The Color Purple or To Kill A Mocking Bird are past winners) .
It would not be wrong to imagine that this is what's left of the earth after the monsters found in The Book of Revelations have passed through.
Frankly, after reading this novel Jesus would have wept more than the time Judas betrayed him.
Not that Jesus could read English, mind you.
Unsurprisingly The Road was being made into a film by John Hill Coat and starred Viggo Mortenson and Charlize Theron (as the mother in quite depressing flashbacks).
When I was 13 I read Z for Zacharia, a children's book about a young female teenager trapped in a valley safe from a nuclear wasteland but who was being tormented by Mr Loomis.
That story has always remained in my memory with its near rape and always pending doom - The Road replaces that for me and I doubt I'll be able to eat meat from a spit roast in a while.
Buy The Road from Amazon now. Don't watch the movie instead. Read the book!
Thirsty? Jimmy Barry Cover Drive.
Hungry? Hell's Pizza.
Complaints? See management, I just work here man.
Jimmy Jangles is reading The Road by Cormanc McCarthy of No Country for Old Men fame.ish.ness. Frankly, this book would have made Jesus wept more than the time Judas betrayed him. Or was that Peter Piper the Cock Crow eater? Heh, I said cock. Not coke, cock. heh
Not that Jesus could read English, mind you.
Forget the story for a moment and read the writing - it is pure literary porn. This line is from the first page of The Road and just by itself it conjures up a bleakness that no frost could ever predict:
"Like the onset of some cold glaucoma dimming away the world"
Neways 1 it just sets the tone perfectly.
NE ways 2 it makes Z for Zacharia look like a kids book. Oh wait, I was 13 when I read that...
free speech for the dumba poem
free speech for the dumb
freedom to suck your bloody thumb
pre-paid taxes for the rich
a man becomes a mum
the rest may drown in a ditch
let them eat cake
as they watch the hollywood remake
congested traffic and congested noses
no time to listen to the gospel of moses
fair trade, fair play and cold play
it was bullrush with rocks in socks in my day
the queen used to be victoria
turning tricks so she gets her fix, boy
coke is cheaper than milk and what about the fizzy
reality tv awash with leaky homes and bad parents
cost of petrol fumes makes me dizzy
the pope apologises as the church repents
- "Bag It Up" - 5:12
- "The Turning" (Andy Bell) - 4:32
- "Waiting for the Rapture" - 4:57
- "The Shock of the Lightning" - 4:24
- "I'm Outta Time" (Liam Gallagher) - 5:20
- "(Get Off Your) High Horse Lady" (Gem Archer) - 5:07
- "Falling Down" - 4:18
- "To Be Where There's Life" - 5:35
- "Ain't Got Nothin" (L. Gallagher) - 3:32
- "The Nature of Reality" - 4:48
- "Gigi" - 1:05 (Japanese Bonus Track)
How to Write and perform an Old School Metallica Song.
Some background requirements before begining. Lead singer should have a problem with alcohol, the drummer should have got drool on his IQ test but have an ego bigger than his fat round face.
The bass player should be a pushover and the lead guitarist should be a quiet fellow who lets his chops do the talking. Long hair is compulsory for all band members.
Begin with a slow, melodic solo.
Add a monster riff that slowly builds over the solo. (If more experienced, reverse these two)
Enter drum beat with a percussion mallet.
Hit those toms faster and faster
Continue monster riff with extra rhythm.
Depending on quality of bass player, bass is optional.
Begin singing about the injustice of war, how black your heart is and death in general . Do not include lyrics about love for your mama until you go mainstream.
Metallica don't need no stinking chorus, merely another line about death.
Break for a different arrangement of the monster riff. Include a hint of the 10 minute solo to come.
Remind your fans that this is a song about the black death and your stuck at home in sanitarium. Keep that riff going.
Kirk Hammet Type Solo:
Cut from verse and slow it down so people know something cool is going to happen. Replay initial solo but with variation on melody. Get faster. Nope not fast enough. Play it faster. So people know you are serious musicians, change key and add in different guitar effect. Walk up and down the fret board until it bleeds.
Rinse of the blood, repeat
Play drums faster. Play Monster Riff faster. Play 5th solo way fareeeking fast.
The song is still about death and the dance of the dead so remind listeners of this fact. Kill 'em all!
Outro: Play fast for 5 seconds.
And you're done, a perfectly crafted old school Metallica song.
Now go play some Metallica!
Extra for Experts:
If you need some lyrical inspiration, find some Metallica lyrics here and here are the lyrics to Death Magnetic, the new Metallica album. And for something completely new, check out the lyrics to Mistress Dread by Metallica.
and a jazz guitarist?
Answer: A rock guitarist gets to play three chords in
front of thousands of people.
H/T Pop bitch
On seeing this I was surprised that Gillette (the best a man can get) does not sponsor the exhibition...
You can see here how Matisse reaches the paintings apogee with the use of large blocks of solid colour and very minimalist touches, with simple lines for the eyes and nose. One may also be drawn to consider that Matisse must be admired for the courage it must have taken for this master of Fauvism to express himself with such candour.
Or you could just like the green dress and the funny way of spelling Margaret.
Some of you might have realised that Jimmy Jangles does more than simply haunt the pages of The Optimus Prime Experiment and engages in a few side sites, mainly The Spaghetti Incident? That blog started out with the intention of being focussed on music but it kind of floundered. Now I've discovered its niche in the interwebz and I focuss on providing setlists from rock concerts.
People seem to love set lists, the fan boys go nuts when they realise that Stone Temple Pilots have played their first gig together, Radiohead is touring America and played a random U2 B-side or that R.E.M. played Ignoreland for the first time ever in concert.
Ideally I'll make some money off the site and I also want it to be popular. A purple cow or something. So I've been learning all about search engine optimisation which is basically a way of saying, make your page so Google likes it and ranks you over the other purple cows in the paddock.
So from reading SEO sites like Mr Neil Harvey, Edyran and Matt Cutts I've learnt some of the basics of SEO design.
Matt Cutts is the guy that is Google's public face for rules about using Google's Adsense program and search engine optimisation. He is the guy that puts the fear into SEO black hatters - people who try and trick search engines into ranking their pages higher than others by dubious means.
Here's my brief summary of what search engine optimisation technigues have worked for The Spaghetti Incident? Proof it works? Visits in Feb - a few a day. Visits in May 300 - 600 unique per day (increased content has of course helped but I figure the following has too).
Content: I've tried to put on set lists of rock concerts of bands I like, have heard, respect etc. A couple of posts every day means the Google spiders are likely to visit more often and get my content into the google hivemind.
Titles: The titles of each post generally reflect three things: The band's name, that it's their set list and some kind of geographic tag. Searchers look to titles for info on what the subject of the post is. Don't be like a newspaper or woman's magazine and say something outrageous and unrelated to the content. It will just annoy people and they will bounce from your site quicker than a Brett Lee beamer.
Content and Key Words: As they say, content is king. Seeing as one set list of a concert can easily be copied from one site to another (that's how I do it) I try and add a lil bit of an intro to the set list, trying to incorporate the key words that were used in the title. I often use a lil of my own music knowledge and chuck in a factoid or two. Making the key words bold is apparently a good idea too. Good content is not however, it needs to be noticed!
Pictures: The SEO experts all say to use images in the post as the google's algorithm likes that stuff (and related links too). Naming the photo properly, giving it a caption and using the famous "alt tag" description gets you into google. Search under Images in Google using the key words 'Jimmy Jangles' and you'll see what I mean. Some people get in photos real fancy like visual sliders..
Making the site sticky: If people stick around and read more than one set list I reckon there is a better chance they will click a google ad and bring me 15 cents closer to retirement. So I try and offer at the end of every set list a url which takes them to more set lists of the artist within the site.
Always provide your source. It's just good manners and Google love's links.
This is all a very amateurish approach but its fun learning about all this stuff. If you want to know more you can ask yourself what would Matt Cutts do?
You can however blame Jay Bee for this post. A couple of Valentine's ago she got me a Transformers T shirt. It's the one with the Autobot logo to the right. Since that time I have gone Transformers T Shirt Mad. For that you can blame cheap Jay Jay sales... They got a sweet range for 10 bucks a pop in the Manners Mall store Wellington if you keen...
So here's my Transformers T shirt Collection. Enjoy!
This is Jimmy Jangles' T Shirt Collection. Look I know you're jealous, buy your own.
Optimus Prime Megatron Logo
Optimus Prime Red Logo, in old school pose.
Transformers the Movie, featuring Rodimus Prime and Arcee
Autobot Logo on Blue Background
Optimus Prime In Da Hood Logo
Transformers Decepticon Soundwave
Transformers Decepticon Starscream. He's like the fan favourite bad guy. Well its either him or Soundwave.
Turns out a British fellow by the name of of Brad Jayakody was stopped by airport guards from boarding his flight because he was wearing a Transformers T-shirt showing Optimus Prime, fearless leader of the Autobots brandishing a cartoon gun....
Is this what the world has come to? Under educated service staff deeming cotton being a potential terrorist threat? What if Brad had been wearing a Starscream T-shirt? Would the airline have called in the Queen's Royal Guards?
And because I've been drinking I just thought of a joke. What do you get if you cross Optimus Prime with Jake Heke? Optimuss Prime!
For those readers that don't come from New Zealand, thats a reference to Jake the Muss from the film Once Were Warriors.
As I wandered past it on Saturday I saw some dude was whitewashing the building next to the steps. Sensing the worse, I checked, and sure enouugh the whole wall of graffiti was gone. Just like nobody puts baby in the corner, nobody white washes Optimus Prime!
So here's my appeal - whoever did the stencil, please do it again!!!!
Disclaimer: Like the wise judge in Hastings, Jimmy Jangles does not endorse the practice of tagging on public and private property. Unless its Prime time.
* I learnt that term from watching Mu and the cool kids doing the business on Shortland Street. Not that I watch Shortland Street you understand.
He then mumbled something about peace loving hippies voting for the Green Party and rolled out to save Bumblebee from falling for an obviously set Constructicon trap.
Pictured: Optimus Prime, not a fan of the loser cruiser.
Whatever happened to weather presenter Penelope Barr?
Last I heard, Penelope married Johnny from Shortland Street but that collapsed like a weather bomb in the Waikato, Nu Zillan.
You see what I did there didn't you? Made a joke about Penelope being a weather presenter didn't I?
Penelope also helped host the much loved TV show, In the Bag? with the great John Hawkesby.
What was in the bag was actually usually an old sock, Invercargill, but sometimes you'd get a nice new washing machine and everyone would go home happy that the sheets would be clean at Audrey's place.
Not that they were ever not clean at Audrey's place you understand, more that they would be cleaner.
Penelope Barr understood this of course and was well respected for it.
Turns our Penelope now works for Massey University as Head of External Relations.
Next on Jimmy Jangles: Where in the world is Steve Parr and Fenella ?
So like when I was in Auckland last week I scored myself a copy of David Gilmour's Remember that Night. For those of you old enough to remember or cool enough to check them out, David Gilmour was the guitarist for Pink Floyd. So I'm gonna review it for you...
Since Roger Waters left Pink Floyd in a real huff in the mid 1980s, Pink Floyd has largely been the moniker for a David Gilmour solo album i.e. Momentary Lapse of Reason and The Division Bell. I guess a reluctance to continue as Pink Floyd has lead to Gilmour to release his third solo album, On An Island
It's a melodic piece, with a brilliant opening track, Castellorizon, which is a basically a guitar solo with a few melodies that hint at things to come throughout the rest of the album.
But who am I to say? Rolling Stone magazine chimed in with:
"It's a crawling headphones record that puts germs of ideas - leaden riffs, astral soundscapes, hazy psychedelia - where fully realized songs ought to go. "
That sounds a lil grumpy so lucky for David The Guardian was more enthused:
"The title track sums up both the album's appeal and its limitations: a slow, anthemic waltz with modest lead vocals, sweetly sung harmonies (courtesy of David Crosby and Graham Nash), lashings of overdubbed guitars, sweeping orchestrations and a big solo at the end."
So all this leads to David Gilmour filming a DVD of of a London concert where he plays the whole of On an Island with his regular backing band - being regular Pink Floyd performers over the years and even Richard Wright himself on keyboards.
The concert is called Remember that Night which is a lyrical taken from the album.
The concert kicks of with a few old school Pink Floyd Songs from Dark Side of the Moon and then launches into the whole On An Island. I sat there enthralled at the sounds and songs. Everyone complains about bands that just do endless solos, well I love that and that's what I got.
After the album, they got back into some Pink Floyd numbers. The band is sharp and know there places. I was heartened to see Richard Wright totally loving playing Coming Back to Life.
And then they played a song I'd never heard before called Echoes. I knew it existed as a song as it was the title of a Pink Floyd Greatest hits album and was originally recorded in 1971. This song is a monster epic and you you know what I thought midway, it sounds like the Phantom of the Opera. I couldn't believe it so I looked it up on Wikipedia and sure enough Roger Waters is quoted as saying
"Yeah, the beginning of that bloody Phantom song is from Echoes. *DAAAA-da-da-da-da-da* [sic]. I couldn't believe it when I heard it. It's the same time signature - it's 12/8 - and it's the same structure and it's the same notes and it's the same everything. Bastard. It probably is actionable. It really is! But I think that life's too long to bother with suing Andrew fucking Lloyd Webber".
Which totally explains why on Roger Water's song Amused to Death (which I first heard when I watched his In the Flesh DVD last month) he rants about human behaviour and that of Andrew Loyd Weber, who wrote The Phantom of the Opera:
"We cower in our shelters, with our hands over our ears Lloyd Webber's awful stuff runs for years and years and years / An earthquake hits the theatre, but the operetta lingers / Then the piano lid comes down and breaks his fucking fingers / It's a miracle"
Remember, I'd never heard the song before but I saw the Phantom In Melbourne in January so I knew what it was when I heard.
Anyways Echoes is a mega epic rock song and its worth watching Remember that Night for that song. Or you could watch it on youtube.
Now if I was a proper journalist I'd probably write a really witty closing off paragraph here but I'll suggest you just watch this:
Extra for Experts:
Heres the concert set list for Remember that Night
"Speak to Me"
"On an Island" (with David Crosby and Graham Nash)
"The Blue" (with David Crosby and Graham Nash)
"Red Sky at Night"
"Then I Close My Eyes" (with Robert Wyatt)
"Take a Breath"
"A Pocketful of Stones"
"Where We Start"
"Shine On You Crazy Diamond, Pts. 1-5" (with David Crosby and Graham Nash)
"Fat Old Sun"
"Coming Back to Life"
"Wish You Were Here"
"Find the Cost of Freedom" (with David Crosby and Graham Nash)
"Arnold Layne" (with David Bowie)
"Comfortably Numb" (with David Bowie)
Pink Floyd have regrouped to do The Endless Summer -check the lyrics to the song Louder than Words.
It was that wise fellow Lenin said who once remarked that quantity has a quality of its own. I think he may have been referring to having the most marbles in the play ground being a good thing. Lenin did not like to share you see. He pretended he did, but he didn't.
Lenin was also fond of lentils. I have no idea why.